Dad's Army Quotes

Cpt. George Mainwaring: I could have sworn that they would never break through the Maginot line.
Sgt. Arthur Wilson: Quite right sir, they didn't.
Cpt. George Mainwaring: I thought now. I'm a pretty good judge of these matters you know Wilson.
Sgt. Arthur Wilson: They went round the side.
Cpt. George Mainwaring: I see... they what!
Sgt. Arthur Wilson: They went round the side.
Cpt. George Mainwaring: That's a typical shabby Nazi trick, you see the sort of people we're up against Wilson.
Sgt. Arthur Wilson: Most unreliable sir.

Movie: Dad's Army
Cpt. George Mainwaring: Wilson, find something for Jones to do will you.
Sgt. Arthur Wilson: Yes, alright sir, just leave it to me. Jones, would you mind please just going outside and lining the men up and just doing things with them.

Movie: Dad's Army
Frazer: I am refusing to obey.
Mainwaring: You'll be in charge of the liquor permits, Frazer.
Frazer: I'm right behind you, Captain.

Movie: Dad's Army
Frazer: [after seeing Wilson seeing his daughter off] I know I am a bit of a blabbermouth, but... but I'll keep my tongue for ye Mr Wilson.
Wilson: [grateful] Thank you James.

Movie: Dad's Army
Godfrey: Sir. I wouldn't want to roam the countryside ravishing maidens.

Movie: Dad's Army
Maj. Gen. Fullard: [Realises that Mainwaring is in charge of the platoon] Good heavens - it's that damm bank clerk!

Movie: Dad's Army
Lyrics by Jimmy Perry, music by Derek Taverner, performed by Bud Flanagan.

TV Show: Dad's Army
Who do you think you are kidding Mr. Hitler?
If you think we’re on the run...

TV Show: Dad's Army
We are the boys who will stop your little game!
We are the boys who will make you think again!

TV Show: Dad's Army
'Cause, who do you think you are kidding Mr. Hitler
If you think old England’s done?

TV Show: Dad's Army
Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8: 21,
But he comes home each evening and he’s ready with his gun.

TV Show: Dad's Army
[The following verse was omitted from the broadcasted theme tune.]

TV Show: Dad's Army
So watch out Mr. Hitler
You have met your match in us.
If you think you can crush us.
We're afraid you've missed the bus.

TV Show: Dad's Army
So who do you think you are kidding Mr. Hitler
If you think old England’s done?

TV Show: Dad's Army
When Sergeant Wilson spots a mistake on Mainwaring's part
Captain Mainwaring: Just testing you, Wilson.

TV Show: Dad's Army
When Sgt. Wilson spots something Mainwaring doesn't
Mainwaring: Took you a while to spot that one, didn't it Wilson?

TV Show: Dad's Army
When a member of the platoon has a good idea that Mainwaring never thought of
Mainwaring: I was just waiting to see who'd be the first to spot that one.

TV Show: Dad's Army
When Mainwaring has an idea
Sergeant Wilson: Do you really think that's wise, sir?

TV Show: Dad's Army
When Private Pike creates a problem or makes a silly suggestion
Mainwaring: You stupid boy.

TV Show: Dad's Army
When Jones addresses Mainwaring
Jones: Permission to speak, sir
Jones: Permission to whisper, sir
Jones: Permission to wake you up, sir
Jones: Permission to worry you sir.

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When a crisis occurs
Jones: Don't Panic! Don't Panic!

TV Show: Dad's Army
When a crisis occurs
Frazer: We're doomed!

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After Frazer has been proved wrong
Frazer: I never doubted you for a minute.

TV Show: Dad's Army
Private Pike whining at a situation
Private Pike: I'll tell Mum.

TV Show: Dad's Army
Mrs Pike: Will you be around later Arthur (Sgt. Wilson) for your usual?

TV Show: Dad's Army
The Verger offers his support
Vicar: I second that.
Verger: And I third it!
Vicar: Oh do be quiet Mr Yeatman.

TV Show: Dad's Army
Jones: Don't be like that dad, there's a war on.
Jones' Dad: Oh, I wondered what the noise was.

TV Show: Dad's Army
Reverend Farthing: Mr Mainwaring, if you can do your blood-curdling bayonet practice in the middle of my responses, I can do my jubilate in the middle of your inquiry!

TV Show: Dad's Army
Jones: I was just going to give the order.....just going to give the order.....just going to give..
Mainwaring: What's the matter Corporal?
Jones: I think I'm going Sir - I hear angel's voices!
Mainwaring: Those are not angels voices, it's the choir in the office!!
Jones: Well if that's what it's like to go, I like it, I like it!

TV Show: Dad's Army
Jones: Come on boys, show 'em [the platoon cock their guns and aim them upwards], enemy plane I said, just like you said Sir. Swing with the plane, boys, swing with the plane, aim just in front. And then I gave the order 'shoot'.
Mainwaring: No, no not 'shoot'; FIRE!
(BANG!)
(The platoon have instinctively followed the order and pulled the triggers on their guns, which were loaded, unknown to them. Pieces of debris rain down from the roof as the Vicar and Mr Yeatman come rushing in)

TV Show: Dad's Army