Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes

Charlie Taylor: [sees a race car wreck on TV; squeals] Woo-hoo! Look at that!
Detective Robert Goren: You like car races?
Charlie Taylor: Oh yeah! I got a *need* for *speed*! I'm, not that I break the law any more officer. I got plenty enough tickets to last me a life-time, but no DUI's. I don't drink. I got an allergy.
Detective Robert Goren: Your job. Your always climbing around in those vents, that's dangerous, huh?
Charlie Taylor: It's fun!
Detective Robert Goren: [to Eames] Dangerous and fun.
Detective Alexandra Eames: [deadpan] Woo-hoo.

Movie: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Detective Robert Goren: Cat got your tongue? [indicating one of several body parts in the anatomy lab]
Detective Robert Goren: Because there's an extra one here.

Movie: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
M.E. Rodgers: Your Miss Wallace must have had her claws dug in pretty good. Her trachea's crushed. When she hit the water she didn't have a chance.
Detective Alexandra Eames: And the blood in the room?
M.E. Rodgers: It all matched for what we have on file for Wallace. We estimate it was a little under a quart. There's no way Wallace could survive in the river after losing that much blood.
Detective Alexandra Eames: I guess we'll be seeing her in someone's tuna net one of these days.
Detective Robert Goren: How long do you think it would have taken for Nicole to collect a quart of her own blood?
Detective Alexandra Eames: If the blood was a set-up, why wouldn't Ella say something about it when she saw it all over the room?
Detective Robert Goren: Maybe she was in on it. Maybe we never turned her.
Detective Alexandra Eames: And she had to learn the hard way.
Detective Robert Goren: It's just a thought.

Movie: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Eames mentions dating and the other detectives stare at her]
Detective Alexandra Eames: Well, what was I supposed to do when I was pregnant? Sit home and knit?

Movie: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[poking fun at Eames for having her sisters baby]
Nicole Wallace: Tell me, did your sister let you keep the sonograms so you'd have something to cuddle up with at night?

Movie: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[opening title narration]
Narrator: In New York City's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad. These are their stories.

Movie: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Narrator: In New York City's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad. These are their stories.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[A brutal jewelry store robbery puts Goren and Eames on the trail of a ruthless murderer.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deakins: Goren, I realize how unstimulating police procedure can be to a right-brained guy like you, and I say this with all the respect due a Detective First Grade -- touch all the bases.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Does it bother you that the same people who just jacked $300 million are maxing out a stolen credit card?
Eames: Once a thief. You said yourself, they're impulsive.
Goren: Okay, if it doesn't bother you.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: How'd he get into prison without leaving his prints in the system?
Deakins: How'd my luggage get to Amarillo last Christmas?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren and Eames are reviewing a security camera's records of a woman in a jewelry store]
Goren: You notice anything unusual?
Eames: Not really.
Goren: It's just that she's putting lipstick on her eyeball.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren continues watching the tape, saying nothing.]
Eames: Am I missing something?
Goren: I just like to watch.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: Don't equivocate. He's a bad guy.
Goren: Bad guys do what good guys dream.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: Funny thing about the law. Right hand performs the crime, left hand pays for it....

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: She got her hands on this [diamonds], why she didn't run--
Goren: It wasn't about that, it was about him.
Eames: Men come and go, but diamonds--
Goren: Diamonds don't keep you warm at night.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[An apparent dual murder/suicide of an art expert and an assessor turns out to be more than meets the eye when investigations lead to high-quality forgeries of Nazi-seized art.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: Popular opinion has this pegged as a murder/suicide.
Goren: I never trust opinion polls.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deakins: All my favorite theories shot to hell in 60 seconds.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Eames and Goren stand in a museum looking at a Monet.]
Eames: It's beautiful.
Goren: Impressionists are too pretty.
Eames: Right. You probably like those sweaty naked people in the next room.
Goren: Lucian Freud? As a matter of fact, I do.
Eames: You can't put that stuff in your home. You can't live with it.
Goren: I'm not interested in living with it. I'm interested in thinking about it.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Langer: There's nothing in life I enjoy quite so much as being threatened by a beautiful woman.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Langer: Tax fraud. How mundane.
Goren: But smart. I like smart.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Hey. This is nice. (Walks in.)
Eames: He can't help himself. Can I come in?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Moon: You don't know. You don't know what it's like.
Goren: What, to work so hard?
Moon: Yes.
Goren: And still be a nobody.
Moon: Yes.
Eames: Welcome to the human race.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Did you know there's an original Salvador Dali hanging at Rikers Island? He donated it in the 60s.
Langer: That's fascinating.
Eames: You're going to get to see it firsthand.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[A murdered crack whore leads detectives to the scion of a wealthy and influential family.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren tweezers a small object off the heel of a dead woman found in a hotel.]
Eames: What is that?
Goren: Fish scale.
Eames: Great, she was attacked by a shark.
Goren: [Seriously] Sharks don't have scales.
[Eames sighs.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: His "arrangement with his wife" is that he gets to be a bad boy once a month, but then he has to tell her what he did.
Deakins: Oh those wacky Belgians.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: She also tasted positive for lithium.
Goren: Might have been for depression.
Deakins: What's so depressing about being a crack whore?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren and Eames are on a stakeout. They glance at a passing man.]
Eames: No, too short. Surveillance is my strong suit.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent