Hell's Kitchen Quotes

Aaron: Yee-hah! Howdy Chef Ramsay!
Gordon: Oh my God.
Aaron: (goes over and hugs Gordon) Good to see you Chef.
Gordon: I feel like crying (pretends to cry)
Aaron: (laughs) Don't cry, Chef!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[Ben has to clean up all the manure outside the restaurant.]
Scott: This is what happens when you don't win challenges Ben.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Narrator: 45 minutes into dinner service, blue diners are enjoying their appetizers.
Boy: The onion rings are good. I like them.
Narrator: The onion rings are getting positive reviews.
[Cut to a blue table where a boy is biting into a raw chicken wing cooked by Matt]
Narrator: The chicken however...
Gordon: (As Jean-Phillipe returns the chicken.) Oh no. Oh no! Raw chicken?
Jean-Phillipe: Yeah, raw chicken chef.
Gordon: Oh (bleep) hell. GENTLEMEN!! (slams the plates down) RAW CHICKEN! Matt! (kicks the bins.) Pink and bloody! (Throws the chicken in the bin) Come here you (bleep bleep)!
Matt: Yes chef.
Gordon: What the (bleep) are you doing?
Matt: Yes chef. Sorry chef, it won't happen again.
Craig: (interview) Oh my god. That's pretty major. If a kid is biting into a chicken wing that's raw, that's just (bleep) nasty.
Gordon: It's the tartare again with you isn't it?
[Flashback to day 1 where Matt's Exotic Tartare made Gordon vomit.]
Gordon: That's what it is, isn't it? That's what you can do?
Matt: No it's not chef. (interview) I was this close to his face and I didn't even blink at him.
Gordon: You can manage to (bleep) up raw food. WAKE UP!!
Matt: Yes chef! (interview) I'm not going to break. I'm not here to break. He's not going to break me as a person.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Hey, Craig! Four macaroni, one burger, one spaghetti of clam, and you've given me meatballs. One's called a (bleep) meatball, and one's called a clam. Spaghetti is clam, meatball is meatball. Where's the spaghetti of clam?
Craig: Right here, chef.
[Ramsay eats a piece of spaghetti, and instantly spits it back out)
Gordon: (bleep)! Raw!
Ben: Don't worry about it. Start over, fast.
Craig: I got it, I got it, I got it.
Gordon: So, how long?
[Craig tries to snatch a pair of tongs from Bobby]
Craig: I got it.
Bobby: (pulling the tongs back) These are mine.
Gordon: He doesn't even answer you, look. He doesn't even give you an answer.
Ben: Craig, answer the chef already!
Craig: TWO MINUTES!!
Narrator: While the men wait two minutes for Craig's spaghetti...

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[After completing service, the red team comes in to help the blue team.]
Gordon: Jen, stand next to Chef Ben. Cook with him.
Ben: (interview) The thing is, it's embarrasing that chef called them in to come help.
Gordon: (to Ben) Look at the current situation. Now, go around and slap yourselves in the back now then.
Ben: I thought we were close chef, but I was wrong.
Gordon: You thought you were (bleep) close. Let's give a big round of applause to the captain who hit an iceberg on the (bleep) Titanic. Shayna.
Shayna: Yes chef.
Gordon: Stay next to Chef Craig.
Shayna: What do you need?
Craig: I got it. I got it. I got it.
Shayna: (interview) "I got it. I got it. I got it."
Shayna: What do you need?
Craig: I got it.
Shayna: Don't tell me you got it. What do you need? (interview) Chill! Take the help. Even if it's from a girl.
Louross: Just push out the plates. Let's just do it and just end the day.
Gordon: Away now, one crab cake, one meatballs, one clam, one Caesar.
Louross: (to Craig) How long?
Gordon: How long for the (bleep) clam?
Shayna: You're burning, you're burning.
Gordon: He's not even giving me an answer.
Matt: Come on, answer him, please!
Gordon: He's making me feel (bleep) nervous!
Craig: (burns his hand) (bleep)!
Gordon: Hello?!
Ben: Let's just go! Craig, Craig, the pasta's ready! Come on!
Gordon: How long for the (bleep) clam?
Craig: It's coming up right NOWWWW! (Bleep) listen! (angrily throws a pan to one side)
Gordon: Oh, my (bleep) god.<

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Ben, what you've done and the ambition you've shown, you do seriously surprise me.
Ben: Thank you, chef, I was hoping you'd see that. I mean, I give it all I've got. Gave you a hundred and ten.
Gordon: You surprise me as to how (bleep) you are!
Ben: Oh... thank you.
Gordon: I was expecting more. Hey, maybe you shouldn't have quit your (bleep) day job so early!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[Matt, Craig and Ben are nominated for elimination]
Gordon: All three of you should walk through that door.
Ben: I'm just going to keep giving you 100% chef. Every day.
Matt: I'm going to give you 125%.
Craig: I don't know percentages but just over that.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: I can teach someone how to cook but Craig was a terrible cook with an even worse attitude. There was no chance for him.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Every 16 year-old girl filled out these comment cards this evening. Gentlemen, out of all the customers you cooked for tonight, 98% of them said they'd come back. Brilliant! Ladies, on the other hand... 99% of your customers would come back. (the women cheer loudly, while the men look dismayed) Actually, tonight, there's no losing team. I can't seriously decide on a winning team on a difference of 1%.
Matt: Thank you, chef, for your generosity...
Gordon: (bleep) the generosity, Matt. Both teams think of one individual, up for elimination, to leave Hell's Kitchen tonight. Now, piss off.
Matt: (interview) Chef Ramsay still wants two people chosen, and I'm gonna be the one chosen for the blue team, and now I'm packing my bags.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Matt, you've peaked, right?
Matt: No, chef, I haven't peaked yet.
Gordon: So why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Matt: Chef, I should stay in Hell's Kitchen because I was pushed and bullied off of my section tonight, while others on my team was hiding behind one person.
Gordon: Who pushed you off your section?
Matt: Bobby pushed me off of my section.
Gordon: You hid behind Bobby!
Matt: Ben hides behind Bobby! Not me.
Gordon: He took over your section!
Matt: He pushed me off my section, would not let me back on...
Gordon: Look at the size of you! There's 250lbs in there. Louross's balls are bigger than yours!
Matt: I don't even have a voice in my kitchen, no-one listens to me. I guarantee you, if you put me on the red team, you will see the failure in the blue team.
Gordon: You want to cook with the girls?
Matt: I have no shame in working with women.
Gordon: Un-(bleep)ing real.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[After eliminating Shayna]
Gordon: Oh, and by the way, "Mattie."
Matt: Yes, chef?
Gordon: First thing tomorrow morning, you're cooking with the girls.
Matt: Thank you, chef.
Corey: (bleep)!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[Before the final round of the blind taste test]
Gordon: Now, listen up. There's been some great rivalries out there. Yankees versus Red Sox.
Matt: Go Yankees!
Gordon: Tyson versus Holyfield, yes? Now, ladies and gentlemen, Matt versus Ben! Let's go.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Ben! Quickly, here. (Ben slowly walks up to the pass) Look at him, speedy, quickly, yeah? Just touch that, you can see how pink it is already. (bleep) hell. I just want you to know what you're doing! None of you are communicating, no-one's going together, no-one's making eye contact, and no-one's reminding each other as a team!
Ben: Chef, I'm not used to the brigade system. It takes a little time to get adapted to it, and... that's it.
Gordon: Hey, do you know what? You are so (bleep) sad. Every time I ask you something, you give me the limpest excuse, you know that.
Ben: I'm just being honest with you.
Gordon: Yeah, I know that. I'm being (bleep) honest with you!
Matt: (to Jen) I love it. He's getting his ass kicked tonight.
Gordon: You're one of the most (bleep) saddest I've ever met in a (bleep) kitchen. "It needs a little time. I can't get used to this." Sounds like the (bleep) weirdo on Dr. Phil!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[Jean-Philippe has just returned some food to the pass]
Gordon: What table is that?
Jean-Philippe: Blue side, chef. They requested well done, and it's blood all over.
Gordon: Oh, (bleep) hell. (to Ben) There you go, there you go. Requested well done. Now look at it, then! (bleep)!! JERK!! (kicks the bins)
Ben: (interview) I have a lot of pride in myself and what I do. I'm just gonna keep working and try and get the food out. That's all you can do.
Gordon: Anything to say? It's easy for you, that's your (bleep) problem. You've had it (bleep) easy, you're not even busting a gut.
Matt: (to the Red Team) Karma really bits you in the ass.
Gordon: All (bleep) night you've taken it easy. And listen, hey, look at me. STOP IT! Switch it off. You're not sending any more (bleep) out of here, you've sent enough. Take it easy, you've had a hard night, you deserve it.
Ben: Are we done here, because if not, I'm gonna complete my station tonight, chef.
Gordon: SHUT IT DOWN! TURN IT OFF, YOU (bleep)! STOP IT!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Matt, you've got three different cuts of meat there. One (bleep) large one, one medium one and one small one. That's not good enough for me!
Christina: (interview) Matt's tenderloins were not the same size. Are you kidding me?
Gordon: So there you go. There's the daddy, there's the mommy, there's the (bleep) baby. Suppose this is the food critic table and the baby is medium rare what will happen to it?
Matt: It'll definitely shrink.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Louross! Raw steak.
Louross: Ohhhhhh.
Gordon: And he goes like this, "Ohhhhhh." as if he's performing for the Oscars. If your (bleep) cooking was as good as your acting, you might be talented!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Louross was never short on energy. He was just "short" on cooking ability.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: I once knew a boy named Matt, whose performance was terribly flat. He was far from neat, miserable on meat, so I kicked him out and that's that.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Over the last three months, it has really been a roller coaster ride. We've had plenty of highs and lows, but this season ended on a high. Now it's time for me to get the (bleep) out of Hell's Kitchen.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: And the name of the dish is what?
Danny: Mahi Gone Bananas, chef.
Gordon: It looks like you've gone slightly bananas. It's hideous. Back in line.
Danny: (interview) Ramsay's definitely just looking for a rise out of me, which he's going to eventually going to get.
Gordon: So the idea came from where?
Danny: I just pulled it out of my ass, sir.
Gordon: Put it back in there because it sucks.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Who's cooked the diapers?
Colleen: No diapers, sir. That's chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce. My name's Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: COL-leen.
Gordon: What do you do for a living?
Colleen: I am a culinary instructor and I own a recreational cooking school.
Gordon: And were you a trained chef before you set up a school?
Colleen: No, I am not a trained chef.
Gordon: So you're not a trained chef, yet you teach chefs to cook.
Colleen: That's correct.
Gordon: How much do you charge?
Colleen: 300 per three to four hours.
Gordon: Right. Look at the size of it.
Colleen: I feed big Nebraska boys. Would you like me to get you a bite?
Gordon: No, I'll bite it myself. (tries dish, spits it out)
Colleen: Great.
Gordon: You seriously charge $300 to teach people how to make that crap?
Colleen: Yes chef.
Gordon: I feel like I need some plastic wrap on my ass.
Colleen: (interview) It was extremely difficult to just stand there and keep my mouth shut? (to Gordon) I teach manners, too, chef.
Gordon: Say that again.
Narrator: Cooking instructor Colleen not only offered Chef Ramsay a dish he didn't care for, but an etiquette lesson as well.
Gordon: Okay, Miss Manners, please (bleep) off back in line.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: It looks like lamb chops on a bed of ratatouille.
Seth: Uh, that's mine, chef. (interview) To be like Chef Ramsay is my dream. I've read his books, I've visited his restaurant in Manhattan. I think we have very similar styles.
Gordon: How long have you been cooking?
Seth: Fifteen years around.
Gordon: And what is it?
Seth: Cinnamon crusted rack of lamb with a(n) aubergine ratatouille.
Gordon: The ratatouille, what's in there?
Seth: Tomatoes, onion, tomato sauce, tomato paste.
Gordon: (spits out food) How come the aubergine's so sweet?
Seth: There's some honey, uh...
Gordon: Honey in a ratatouille? Uh, is that normal?
Crowd: No chef.
Gordon: That's the worst dish I've ever tasted. (Seth laughs) Fifteen years to cook that (bleep) and you're laughing. You could make history on being the fastest exit in Hell's Kitchen. And I'm (bleep) serious, you know that. Back in line. (Seth goes back in line) The quicker you understand how serious I am, the quicker you'll cook better.
Seth: I'll try harder next time, sir. (interview) I thought it looked all right. I think my presentation was good. I know it's a good dish. I gotta prove to him that I can cook my ass off.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Charlie's on the garnish. Robert's on the garnish. And Wil is on planet cuckoo.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Narrator: Seth is hoping to score high marks with his first entrée.
Gordon: Why's it all (bleep) mangled?
Scott: He didn't have it ready, and then he sliced it and seared all the chops.
Gordon: Hey, Forrest! Come here, you.
Seth: (interview) Ramsay, he keeps calling me "Forrest" as in Forrest Gump. I think it's a great name!
Gordon: You didn't cook it properly temperature wise, so you decided to buckle it and bastardize it. Now you're really having a laugh, yeah?
Ben: (interview) Man, this poor lamb chop just got charred. No excuse for that first lamb.
Gordon: Would you get excited to come here and eat that (bleep)?
Seth: Absolutely not.
Gordon: Yeah, (bleep) off.
Seth: (interview) Listen, I screwed up the lamb, but at the end of the service, Gordon and I will be like peas and carrots once again!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Narrator: It's two and a half hours into the dinner service, and while Colleen has finally mastered the spaghetti, she still has a lot to learn about risotto.
Gordon: Look! Hey, taste that.
Colleen: Yes, chef.
[Ramsay spits out the risotto in disgust]
Gordon: That's the risotto! That, quite frankly, is the worst risotto I've ever tasted in my entire cooking career. Why's it so sweet? Who put sugar in there?
Colleen: (holding up a pot of sugar) Oh, I grabbed this. I thought it was salt.
LA: (interview) Are you (bleep) kidding me?
Gordon: That... (throws the risotto in the trash) is (bleep, bleep)! Oh my god!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Gordon: Come here, you. Hey, Coi, come here! Carol, Lacey, come here. (to Colleen) Away now, two Wellington, yes, one salmon and one John Dory. Where's the John Dory?
Colleen: (brief pause) I don't have the John Dory.
Gordon: You don't have it. Hey, look, come here, look at that. (holds up the salmon) Look, look, hey don't run away. IT'S BLACK! On top of that, there's an added bonus. It's (bleep) raw in the middle.
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (bleep) useless, (bleep, bleep). You're not a cookery school teacher, are you? You're joking, aren't you?
Colleen: No, I'm not joking, chef.
Gordon: Tell me, tell me you're pumping yourself up to make yourself look good. You don't really have a cooking school?
Colleen: No, chef, I own a cooking school. I have a business just like you do.
Gordon: Your (bleep) business is not like my business, hey madam, let's get that (bleep) right.
Colleen: You're right.
Gordon: YOU'RE ROBBING PEOPLE! YOU'RE A THIEF! I'M CONCERNED FOR THE POOR BASTARDS THAT YOU'VE TAKEN MONEY OFF OF! (spots another piece of salmon burning) Hey, madam, lift that lid off, it looks black.
Colleen: It IS black! Both of them!
Gordon: Oh my god! (bleep)! (bleep)!! IT'S BLACK!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: OH MY GOD!
Carol: These are burning.
Colleen: I know.
Gordon: Hey, madam. GET OUT! Get on the raw bar. Lacey! Lacey, get on the fish.
Lacey: Yes, chef!
Colleen: (interview) Chef Ramsay's definitely not gonna break me. He can ask me to leave, he can kick me out of the kitchen, he can do all those things, but he's not gonna break me.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Narrator: It's thirty minutes into dinner service, and Ben is trying to impress Chef Ramsay with his speed.
Ben: [walking to the pass with some chocolate brownie desserts] Coming down with desserts. Coming down with desserts...
Narrator: Unfortunately, having dessert ready before the appetizers is not exactly what Chef Ramsay had in mind.
Gordon: (bleep)head, put them down. Hey, all of you, come here. Ben's now bringing me a chocolate (bleep) brownie. WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Seth: (interview) I didn't know what was going on, but he was bringing up dessert four minutes in. I mean, I've done some stupid (bleep), but that's embarrassing.
Gordon: So, let's do it this way, then. [puts the desserts on the pass] Ben wants to serve a chocolate brownie before we serve any appetizers.
Ben: No, chef.
Gordon: What are you dreaming on?! Are you stupid?!
Ben: No, chef, no.
Gordon: You've got cheesecake made as well!
Ben: Yes, chef.
Gordon: We've trashed six desserts before we've sent out (bleep) appetizers!
Ben: It was my fault, chef.
Ben: (interview) It was my mistake for not exactly knowing Chef Ramsay's terminologies, but (bleep) me if the words "pick" and "up" don't mean "give you the desserts!"
Gordon: Have you been drinking or sniffing?
Ben: No, chef, no.
Gordon: Look at me: Go upstairs for a lie-down.
Ben: No, no, chef!
Gordon: Go upstairs for a lie-down! [leads Ben out of the kitchen, then walks away] Useless. Absolutely useless. [a couple of seconds pass, then Ben rushes back into the kitchen.]

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
[after Seth's attempt at butchering the filet mignon, Ramsay has discovered a huge amount of wasted meat]
Gordon: Hey, all of you, come here! There's the filet, yes? Look at the (bleep) waste! [Empties the waste onto the counter; the amount of waste is nearly as big as the remaining filet. Seth looks confused, while the other team members look horrified] That's what he took off, and there's the filet!
Giovanni: (interview) He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for less. It looked like he went at it with a jackhammer.
Narrator: With only fifteen minutes of dinner service left, Seth has butchered the filet.
Gordon: Look at the filet! We've (bleep) wasted the most expensive part! [hurls the offcuts at Seth] What are you going to do, get daddy to buy you a new one?
Narrator: And possibly the Blue Team's hope of winning dinner service.
Gordon: How can you do that?
Seth: Well, I never butchered a filet before.
Gordon: Congratulations, you just have.
Seth: (smiles) Thank you, yes...
Gordon: Hey, smart arse, not in the right way you (bleep) bozo!
Seth: (interview) I don't think I did that bad, butchering that filet, but now I'll know for next time.

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Colleen: How could we lose with cheerleaders on our side? Yeah! V-C-I-T-O-R-Y! (a caption reading "Vcitory???" appears)

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen
Danny: I'm not a hero, I never said I was.
Giovanni: You said that earlier.
J: Yeah, you said you were the best cook.
Danny: I am obviously the best cook on the team.
Ben: You wanna hear something, dude? I will cook circles around you! I will circle you like a (bleep) moon!
Danny: Where have you been?
Ben: Are you joking me? You couldn't cook my (bleep)!

TV Show: Hell's Kitchen