Animaniacs Quotes

Arch Bishop: King Yakko, your throne.
Wakko Warner: The throne? How do you lift the lid?
Dot: Since when do *you* lift the lid?

TV Show: Animaniacs
Colin: OK, so, one time Randy Beaman's cat ate this fish from the fish tank but the fish was a piranha, it lived inside the cat forever, and the cat became Piranha Cat. 'Kay, bye.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Roses are red, violets are blue / That's what they say, but it just isn't true / Roses are red, and apples are, too / But violets are violet, violets aren't blue / An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green / A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean? / To call something blue when it's not, we defile it / But what the heck, it's hard to rhyme violet.

TV Show: Animaniacs
The Godfather: [to henchmen] Show these kids the door!
Yakko: That's OK, we can see it from here. Ooh, nice door.
Wakko: Faboo!
Dot: Great hinges.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Wakko: I think we deserve a spanking, right on our fanny.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: So what'll it be Dad Doo? The pasta, or the noodles?
The Godfather: The pasta *is* noodles.
Yakko: Would you like marinara, or red sauce?
The Godfather: Marinara *is* red sauce.
Yakko: Well, would you like calamari or the squid?
The Godfather: Calamari *is* squid.
Yakko: Zucchini or squash? Ham or prosciutto? Drink or beverage?
The Godfather: THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!
Yakko: [to Dot] Do you realize this eliminates more than half of our menu?

TV Show: Animaniacs
[The Origin of the Warners]
Narrator: Newsreel of the Stars! Dateline: Hollywood, 1930, the Warner Bros. Studio, home to the biggest stars in Tinsel Town. Here at the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars, ultimately creating three new characters -- the Warner Brothers and their sister Dot.
Yakko, Wakko & Dot: Helllooooo, Nurse!
Narrator: Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control, and sent the animators running to the hills.
Yakko, Wakko & Dot: [waving] Bye! [bouncing down the stairs] Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy!
Narrator: The trio ran amok throughout the studio, creating utter chaos. Finally, they were captured. The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, were locked away in the studio vault, never to be released. As for the Warners themselves, who made even less sense, they were locked away in the studio water-tower, also never to be released. Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge of the Warners' existence, to this very day -- when the Warners escaped!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: It's that time again.
Wakko: To remember the Alamo?
Dot: To do another one of our cute little skits?
Yakko: No. It's time to learn the day's lesson. And to find out what it is, we turn to...the Wheel of Morality! [spins it] Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. [it stops] Moral number three. And the moral of today's story is... [reads from printout] ..."Elvis lives on in our hearts, in his music, and in a trailer park outside Milwaukee."
Dot: I'm speechless.
Wakko: [taps his chest] Sorta gets you right here, doesn't it? [belches] Pardon. [whistle blows]
Yakko, Wakko, Dot: YIPE!
[they run off, staying just ahead of Ralph the Guard]

TV Show: Animaniacs
Pablo Picasso: Oui oui!
Yakko: Pardon?
Picasso: Oui oui!
Yakko: Boy. The stuff they're getting away with on kid shows these days.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Ms. Flamiel: Yakko, can you conjugate?
Yakko: Who, me? I never even kissed a girl.
Ms. Flamiel: No no no! It's easy. I'll conjugate with you.
Yakko: Goodnight, everybody!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Count Dracula: I am Count Dracula!
Yakko: Didn't you used to teach math on Sesame Street?

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Or are you the kind of guy who never calls a girl? You cad! I'm leaving you! I'm going home to mother! Nyeeeh! And I'm keeping the ring!!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dr. Scratchansniff: Do you know who I am?
Yakko: Dr. Otto Scratchansniff, world famous psychoanalyst to the stars?
Dr. Scratchansniff: Correct.
Yakko: I won! I won! What did I win?
Dr. Scratchansniff: Nothing.
Yakko: Say, what kind of game show is this?
Dr. Scratchansniff: This isn't a game show!
Yakko: Well I'll say it isn't. Nobody wins anything. You'll be lucky to be on the air for one week.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Ernest Hemingway: [in a woman's voice] Who is it?
Dot: Pushpen Office Supply delivery for... Mr. Ernest Hemingway.
Hemingway: Mr. Hemingway isn't here right now. This is, uh, Alice B. Toklas.
Warners: No you're not.
Hemingway: Yes I am.
Warners: [now inside the house] No you're not.
Hemingway: [normal voice] Aah!
Yakko: You can't fool us. Alice B. Toklas doesn't live here anymore!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Yakko: I'm Yakko!
Wakko: I'm Wakko!
Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Balana-- Oh, shoot!
Yakko & Wakko: [laughing]
Director: Cut!!
Dot: Take two.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: Citizens of Anvilania, I stand before you, because if I was behind you, you couldn't see me.
[Wakko performs a rimshot.]

TV Show: Animaniacs
Umlatt: No, no! This is the uniform of a great man!
Yakko: Does he know you're wearing it?
Umlatt: I am Umlatt of Donlikus, and I am here to demand you surrender Anvilania to me! I give you 24 hours to vacate!
Yakko: Vacation already? This is only my first day on the job!
Umlatt: I demand your surrender!
Yakko: I will not surrender! You surrender!
Umlatt: Me, surrender?
Yakko: Okay, I accept. Hand over the keys to your castle.
Umlatt: Don't be ridiculous! I'll go to war before I surrender!
Yakko: Well go ahead, and don't you come back until you've learned some manners, young man!
Umlatt: Very well, you silly child! [throwing his hands into the air] This means war!
Yakko: I thought that meant touchdown?

TV Show: Animaniacs
Arch Bishop: King Yakko, your throne.
Wakko: The throne? How do you lift the lid?
Dot: Since when do you lift the lid?

TV Show: Animaniacs
Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Yakko: I'm Yakko!
Wakko: I'm Wakko!
Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fone-- Aaaaagh!
Director: Cut!
Yakko: Ladies and gentleman, Miss Banana Falana!
Wakko: [laughing] Banana Falana!
Dot: Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P-Pop-Into-the-Mike!
Wakko: Oh, pooh! I never pop my P's!
Director: Uh, Wakko, we got a big P-pop on "pooh". Could we have that again?
Dot: HAH!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Ms. Flamiel: We'll move on to science. Dot, what can you tell me about the great scientists of the eighteenth century?
Dot: They're all dead.
Ms. Flamiel: No, no, no!
Dot: All right. They're all living.
Ms. Flamiel: No, no, no!
Yakko: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Ms. Flamiel: Stop that! STOP THAT! SIT AT YOUR DESKS THIS INSTANT! [The Warners jump into their seats & sit quietly. Ms. Flamiel pulls a red marker pen out of her cleavage]
Yakko: Ooh, what else ya got in there?
Ms. Flamiel: Why, you little...! F!!! [Writes an F on Yakko's forehead]
Dot: Hey, you can't do that to him. [Ms. Flamiel writes an F on her forehead]
Ms. Flamiel: F!!![Dot cries her eyes out. Wakko buries his head in his arms, laughing. Ms. Flamiel glares at him, then writes an F on his hat with a black marker]F!!![Wakko stops laughing then stares at the F. Then, he gets very angry & starts to shake his head]
Yakko: Uh, oh. Now you've gone and hurt his feelings.
Dot: I'd apologize if I were you.
Ms. Flamiel: I will NOT! You're horrid, naughty children! [Growling, Wakko grabs his desk and shakes, steam shooting out of his nose. Ms. Flamiel starts to look worried. Finally, the top of Wakko's hat blows up like a volcano. Ms. Flamiel covers her eyes as Wakko's head explodes offscreen]

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dot: Do you think this plan will work?
Yakko: It better - we don't have any more commercial breaks.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!
Yakko: I'm Yakko!
Wakko: I'm Wakko!
Dot: And I'm Pincess-- DAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Yakko & Wakko: Helloooo, Pincess! [laughing]
Wakko: [laughing] Pincess!
Yakko: [laughing] I love it!
Dot: Yeah, you try saying it sometime!
Yakko: "Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bobesca the Third". [wags eyebrows]
Dot: Oh, thank you, Mr. United-States-Canada-Mexico-Panama. Big whoop. [to the camera] LET'S DO IT!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: I gotta tell you, that is the worst Peter Lorre impression I have ever heard.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: There they are, sibs — the Florida Keys... right between the Florida Pocket Lint and the Florida Spare Change.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: So, sister--who's really not my sister but I'm just calling sister--you were about to describe a caper.
Hello Nurse: Well, it's a little green pickle thing sometimes found in salads.
Yakko: That's absolutely correct! Tell her what she's won!
Wakko: A date with me!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: We were taken in the show when somebody tried to slip a mickey in my drink. Nice try, bub, but I work for Warner's!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Narrator: [sounding tired] And now... the stars of our show... the Warners.
Yakko: I'm still Yakko.
Wakko: I'm still Wakko.
Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Fo Foo --- STOP! WHYCANIGTITBYGDDITRBBITWHYGOTTOSTOPITAAUUUUUGH!!! [censor beeps heard throughout this]
Yakko: That's my cute little sister who said that! Goodnight, everybody!

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dr. Scratchansniff: Ah... I know vhat you kids vant, ja! You want to talk to Mr. Puppethead! [pulls out a hand puppet resembling him]Hello kids, I'm Mr. Puppethead! Tell me why you always make the jokes.
Warners: [look at the puppet awkwardly]
Dr. Scratchansniff: Why aren't you talking with Mr. Puppethead? No no, it iz very easy; watch me, watch me. [clears throat] Hello, Mr. Puppethead, how are you? I am fine, Dr. Scratchansniff. How are you? I am fine, Mr. Puppethead. Did you have a yummy breakfast? Oh yes, yes! Very yummy, thank you. How was your breakfast? My breakfast was yummy as vell. [to the Warner siblings] Now you see? Isn't that easy?
Yakko: Uhmm... are you sure you don't want to see a p-sychiatrist?
Dr. Scratchansniff: I am a p-sychi-- I mean psychiatrist! [tearing at his hair with the puppet] I AM! I AM! I AM! I AM!
Yakko: Mr. Puppethead's hungry.

TV Show: Animaniacs
Dr. Scratchansniff: [showing Dot an inkblot] What do you say to zis?
Dot: I'd say you're not a very good artist.
Dr. Scratchansniff: I didn't draw that.
Dot: Well, whoever did needs to go back to school.
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, it's an inkblot.
Dot: I'll say.
Dr. Scratchansniff: No, no, no. It's not supposed to look like anything!
Dot: Then you did a very good job.
Dr. Scratchansniff: I DIDN'T DRAW IT! Doesn't it looks like a little kitty cat or a butterfly or something?
Dot: No. [takes off the inkblot and changes it into a butterfly]That's a butterfly.

TV Show: Animaniacs