Xena - Warrior Princess Quotes

Xena: Feeling any better?
Gabrielle: No, but I´ve gotten used to being miserable.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: Xena-- oh Xena.
Cecrops: Are you out of your mind?!
Xena: Gabrielle, are you all right?
Gabrielle: Yeah, I’m fine. I’m-- seasick. I’m cursed. Actually, I’m really seasick.
Cecrops: Excuse me. Do you know who I am?
Xena: You’re Cecrops. I wasn’t gonna let you take off with my best friend.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: What's wrong with you?
Xena: Nothing that a good workout won't cure.
Joxer: Hey ... uh ... try the lake. A cold swim usually helps ... so I've been told.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: What are you doing?
Xena: Hard to believe, but Joxer's advice about a cold swim, I'm taking it.
Gabrielle: That's not hard to believe. No no, Joxer's full of good ideas.
Xena: No, I said Joxer.
Gabrielle: I know, he's teaching me that wonderful song of his.
Xena: Gabrielle, what's going on? You barely tolerate Joxer.
Gabrielle: That was before.
Xena: Before what?
Gabrielle: Before I realized ... I love him.
Xena: What?!
Gabrielle: I know, it shocked me too, to see how blind I'd been. But, maybe that's what love is, it's blind. I should write that down.
Xena: No, Gabrielle, this is crazy. You can't be in love with Joxer. He's ... well, he's Joxer.
Gabrielle: Are you talking about my man? Like Draco is such a prize? Xena, I would rather be in love with Joxer than a blood thirsty warlord like Draco.
Xena: Draco's not like that.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: This love stuff is a real pain.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: (to and unconscious Draco) I'm sorry, sweetie, that hurt me a lot more than it hurt you. Sweetie? Did I say ‘sweetie'? I've never used that word in my life before ... oh, but he's so cute.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Draco: Give me the girls and Gabrielle. Or I will burn the place and everyone inside it.
Xena: You would kill the woman you love?
Draco: The question is: would you?

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: It's about time you clipped his (Baby Bliss) wings.
Cupid: Yeah, well, I was a little tied up.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
(Cupid touches Xena on the forehead to remove the love spell)
Xena: That's it?
Cupid: Yeah, easy come, easy go.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Ares: No. Life isn't worth living. It's to be taken, and beaten. And wrestled, and formed in your image. That's where the meaning lies. In what you can twist life into. For those who just endure life, yeah it is a very nasty joke. But for those who form it with their will, the joke is on those who get in the way.
Xena: I must be crazy. You're beginning to make sense.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Gabrielle couldn't save a cat in a sack without me.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Mother, I am a lunatic with lethal combat skills.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Joxer: Rise and shine everyone, rise and shine.
Gabrielle: I'll rise, but I refuse to shine.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: It's not the Fates, it's not Ares, it's not something I ate, no, I have no poison dart marks, I have no Bacchae bites!
Joxer: Is that a hickey?

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena: Gabrielle, did you know that Joxer simply adores you?
Joxer: Could I speak to you privately?
Xena: He would crawl 50 miles on broken glass just to sweat in your shadow.
Joxer: Ixnay on the ovelay alktay!

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Innkeeper : OK.
Gabrielle: Hey-- can I have some cherries too, please?
Innkeeper: Yeah, yeah.
Gabrielle: And some beef jerky.
Innkeeper: Uh-huh.
Gabrielle: Mmmm-- pork liver.
Innkeeper: Right.
Gabrielle: I mean, if you've got it. Oh, and don't overcook it, 'cause I like it really bloody."
Innkeeper: Yeah.
Gabrielle: You know-- if you melt some cheese over the top, that would be perfect.
Innkeeper: Sure.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Messenger: The Green Dragon has become too large and must be made small again.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: ...kill them all.
Xena: Yeah, that's what I said.
Gabrielle: That was obviously your answer to everything in those days Xena.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Lao Ma: Nothing is as soft as water. Yet, who can withstand the raging flood?

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Xena (Quoting Lao Ma): Fill yourself with desire and see only illusion. Empty yourself of desire and understand the great mystery of things.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: You owe someone so much you would just throw away these last few years?
Xena: Yes.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Lao Ma: To conquer others is to have power. To conquer yourself is to know the way.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Lao Ma: The entire world is driven by a will, blind and ruthless. In order to transcend the limitations of that world, you need to stop willing, stop desiring, stop hating.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Lao Ma: Heaven endures and the Earth lasts a long time because they do not live for themselves. Therefore she who would live a long time should live for others, serve others.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Autolycus: (regarding Joxer)Why is he here?
Gabrielle: He knows Jet.
Autolycus: No, I mean on a grander scale, why is he here?

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Autolycus: I'm not as dumb as he looks!

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: Autolycus, an innocent person is going to die.
Autolycus: No he isn't, because he is leaving.
Gabrielle: It's a chance to do something really good.
Autolycus: Ha.
Gabrielle: And get a really big reward.
Autolycus: Oh, she had to say the 'R' word.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Joxer: I've seen evil! I've changed my ways!
Jet: Brother, if you saw evil, you'd have to change your pants.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Leah: Heathens to the left of me, infidels to the right! Tremendous! Next thing is you will be telling me you're not virgins! (Xena and Gabrielle look sheepishly at her)
(Leah gasps in astonishment)
Gabrielle: I was married at the time.
Leah: We all have our little excuses, hmm?
Gabrielle: (to a smirking Xena) Were you?

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess
Gabrielle: You don't have to be a virgin to be virtuous.
Leah: You keep telling yourself that dear.

TV Show: Xena - Warrior Princess