The Venture Bros. Quotes
Hank: What are you, on the rag?
Dr. Venture: (exasperated) It's impossible for me to be on the rag, I'm a ... I can't believe I'm even arguing about this with you! What men's room did you pick up that kind of trash talk in? (the boys point at Brock, who shrugs)
Dr. Venture: (exasperated) It's impossible for me to be on the rag, I'm a ... I can't believe I'm even arguing about this with you! What men's room did you pick up that kind of trash talk in? (the boys point at Brock, who shrugs)
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brisby: Welcome, Dr. Venture... to the funnest place on Earth! (he turns toward Venture, revealing his partially paralyzed face)
Dr. Venture: (horrified) Holy dammit Christmas!
Brisby: Does my appearance startle you, Dr. Venture?
Dr. Venture: (struggling to regain his composure) No, not at all. I -- as a man of science, I see all... kinds of things.
Dr. Venture: (horrified) Holy dammit Christmas!
Brisby: Does my appearance startle you, Dr. Venture?
Dr. Venture: (struggling to regain his composure) No, not at all. I -- as a man of science, I see all... kinds of things.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brisby: Now that we've exchanged pleasantries and hot panda milk, Dr. Venture, let's talk business. I want you to clone me.
Dr. Venture: (caught off-guard) Cloning? (unconvincingly) I... wouldn't know anything about that, seeing as Congress has banned all cloning research in North America.
Dr. Venture: (caught off-guard) Cloning? (unconvincingly) I... wouldn't know anything about that, seeing as Congress has banned all cloning research in North America.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: I- that's it! The deal is off! I don't care if you are rich, I don't have to take this crap from a gimp!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dean: I spy a... um... (shuffling through cards) huh. I don't have a card for that one.
Hank: If you don't knock it off with the wildlife cards already, you're going to be spying my foot up your wow-hole, Dean. Seriously.
Hank: If you don't knock it off with the wildlife cards already, you're going to be spying my foot up your wow-hole, Dean. Seriously.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Brock? Thank God! His freakin' panda's trained to put me in a bag!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: (resentfully) Your panda broke my glasses.
Brisby: We'll replace them at once. We have many glasses here. We have everything you need.
Dr. Venture: Where the hell is "here?"
Brisby: Your home for the time being. (dramatically) Welcome, Dr. Venture... to the Brisby-dome!
Venture: This is that ridiculous giant beehive next door to your study, isn't it? You knocked me out and put me in a bag to bring me fifty yards?!?
Brisby: We'll replace them at once. We have many glasses here. We have everything you need.
Dr. Venture: Where the hell is "here?"
Brisby: Your home for the time being. (dramatically) Welcome, Dr. Venture... to the Brisby-dome!
Venture: This is that ridiculous giant beehive next door to your study, isn't it? You knocked me out and put me in a bag to bring me fifty yards?!?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Ooohh! Ah ha ha, now I see. You know, it took me a minute, but I just got it.
Brisby: Got it? So you'll come aboard?
Dr. Venture: Oh, no no no. What I just got is that you're like a total jacked up freaky-deaky crazy pants!
Brisby: Got it? So you'll come aboard?
Dr. Venture: Oh, no no no. What I just got is that you're like a total jacked up freaky-deaky crazy pants!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dean: Hank! I had my pubes shaved. I'm gonna put them under my pillow for the tooth fairy!
Hank: Did the doctor see that creepy dog dork of yours?
Dr. Venture: Hank, don't brag to your brother about your circumcision.
Hank: Did the doctor see that creepy dog dork of yours?
Dr. Venture: Hank, don't brag to your brother about your circumcision.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Molotov Cocktease: You KILLED my FATHER!
Brock Samson: After you killed my partner.
Molotov: You took my EYE!
Brock: After you took...my heart.
(They pause, awkwardly, and kiss)
Brock Samson: After you killed my partner.
Molotov: You took my EYE!
Brock: After you took...my heart.
(They pause, awkwardly, and kiss)
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Molotov: NYET! You know I can only go to second base!
Brock: Still?! After all these years??!! Urrrgh! I thought the cold war was OVER!
Molotov: It's always cold in Siberia.
Brock: (Lighting two cigarettes, then smoking both at the same time) You want one of these? (Throws Molotov the pack, she lights one and smokes sexily)
Brock: GARRRRRRR! (Stabs his knife into the mattress and stands up with a giant erection) I gotta go take care of something.
Brock: Still?! After all these years??!! Urrrgh! I thought the cold war was OVER!
Molotov: It's always cold in Siberia.
Brock: (Lighting two cigarettes, then smoking both at the same time) You want one of these? (Throws Molotov the pack, she lights one and smokes sexily)
Brock: GARRRRRRR! (Stabs his knife into the mattress and stands up with a giant erection) I gotta go take care of something.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brock: You don't want to shoot me, boys. You know me. You know what I'll do to you if you do.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: My son has it in his head that you were in our house last night and you... killed our robot.
Dr. Orpheus: The seed of your loins is quite astute. I saved your mechanical man from certain damnation. For his frail, electronic eyes had gazed upon the impenetrable! He was an unwilling beholder to the impossible!
Dr. Orpheus: The seed of your loins is quite astute. I saved your mechanical man from certain damnation. For his frail, electronic eyes had gazed upon the impenetrable! He was an unwilling beholder to the impossible!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Orpheus: By the crimson shame of Lord Valisinta, I command you...OPENNNNNNNNNN!!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Orpheus: It craves... purity... it devours... purity... it seems to be... What the hell is this thing made out of?
Dr. Venture: Nothing.
Dr. Orpheus: Come on...
Dr. Venture: Alright fine, I might have used a few unorthodox parts.
Dr. Orpheus: Just tell me one!
Dr. Venture: An... (mumbles)
Dr. Orpheus: A what?
Dr. Venture: An... orphan.
Dr. Orpheus: Did you say... an orphan!?
Dr. Venture: Yeah... a little.. orphan boy..
Dr. Orpheus: It's powered by a forsaken child!?
Dr. Venture: Might be... kind of... I mean, I didn't use the whole thing!
Dr. Venture: Nothing.
Dr. Orpheus: Come on...
Dr. Venture: Alright fine, I might have used a few unorthodox parts.
Dr. Orpheus: Just tell me one!
Dr. Venture: An... (mumbles)
Dr. Orpheus: A what?
Dr. Venture: An... orphan.
Dr. Orpheus: Did you say... an orphan!?
Dr. Venture: Yeah... a little.. orphan boy..
Dr. Orpheus: It's powered by a forsaken child!?
Dr. Venture: Might be... kind of... I mean, I didn't use the whole thing!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: Dean that's great and I can't wait to hear all about it, only Brock's stuck inside Dad's thing that makes people happy. But it's all evil.
Dean: I dare you to make less sense.
Hank: I was on the floor and I heard everything! And I have a plan!
Dean: I dare you to make less sense.
Hank: I was on the floor and I heard everything! And I have a plan!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Triana Orpheus: So how come I never see you at school?
Dean: (with a hint of fear) I'm kind of home tutored in a box my pop made, (looks down with a more frightened tone) it sometimes gets very hot in the box... my pop made.
Triana: Wow. That's, um... that's screwy. (notices his face, which has gone blank) Crap, did I upset you?
Dean: (blankly) Penguins have a gland above their eyes that converts seawater to freshwater.
Dean: (with a hint of fear) I'm kind of home tutored in a box my pop made, (looks down with a more frightened tone) it sometimes gets very hot in the box... my pop made.
Triana: Wow. That's, um... that's screwy. (notices his face, which has gone blank) Crap, did I upset you?
Dean: (blankly) Penguins have a gland above their eyes that converts seawater to freshwater.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Orpheus: (note to Triana, recorded on answering machine) Greetings, pumpkin, I am at Mr. Venture's lab... to right that which is wrong and to repair the torn curtain OF TIME ITSELF!! There are four puddings in the fridge. You may enjoy the contents of one of them. Dinner at six.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: So what super-cool adventure are we goin' on today? Should I get my SCUBA gear?
Brock: We're not goin' anywhere. Your father's workin' on this...thing.
Hank: SCUBA. SCUBA. SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA. Say SCUBA.
Brock: SCUBA.
Hank: SCUBA. It sounds funny. SCUBA.
Brock: SCUBA. Yeah it does.
Brock: We're not goin' anywhere. Your father's workin' on this...thing.
Hank: SCUBA. SCUBA. SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA SCUBA. Say SCUBA.
Brock: SCUBA.
Hank: SCUBA. It sounds funny. SCUBA.
Brock: SCUBA. Yeah it does.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dean: Hank and I just woke up on the floor. We were playing Ouija, and a guy hypnotized us.
Dr. Venture: Dean...
Dean: With his magical Dracula powers.
Dr. Venture: Dean, I'm going to turn around now, and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames, and the only person who can put you out is me, because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
Dr. Venture: Dean...
Dean: With his magical Dracula powers.
Dr. Venture: Dean, I'm going to turn around now, and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames, and the only person who can put you out is me, because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: What's this one?
Brock: "In Through The Out Door".
Hank: Can I put it on?
Brock: Rather you didn't. Zep sold out on that one. Besides...I've got memories attached to that record. Can we drop this please?
Hank: Is it because you killed a bunch of ninjas while it was playing, and so it reminds you of ninjas?
Brock: No, Hank...
Hank: How about frogmen? Does it remind you of frogmen?
Brock: IT'S A WOMAN!...The only woman I ever loved. Are you happy now?
Hank: (pouty voice) No...because you snapped at me.
Brock: You're alright, Hank. You know that? You're alright.
Brock: "In Through The Out Door".
Hank: Can I put it on?
Brock: Rather you didn't. Zep sold out on that one. Besides...I've got memories attached to that record. Can we drop this please?
Hank: Is it because you killed a bunch of ninjas while it was playing, and so it reminds you of ninjas?
Brock: No, Hank...
Hank: How about frogmen? Does it remind you of frogmen?
Brock: IT'S A WOMAN!...The only woman I ever loved. Are you happy now?
Hank: (pouty voice) No...because you snapped at me.
Brock: You're alright, Hank. You know that? You're alright.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Heeey, if I pull this candle down, will it...?
Dr. Orpheus: ...get wax on my carpet? Yes.
Dr. Orpheus: ...get wax on my carpet? Yes.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dean: Is your name Pumpkin?
Triana: No, it's Triana. Doesn't your dad have a nickname for you?
Dean: Well, I've heard him call me 'Dave' or 'Don' a few times, but I don't think they're nicknames.
Triana: No, it's Triana. Doesn't your dad have a nickname for you?
Dean: Well, I've heard him call me 'Dave' or 'Don' a few times, but I don't think they're nicknames.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Triana: Who's that big guy who's always washing his car in front of your place?
Dean: Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
Triana: (facetiously) Did the guy's head get blown off?
Dean: (proudly) Yes it did.
Dean: Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
Triana: (facetiously) Did the guy's head get blown off?
Dean: (proudly) Yes it did.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Orpheus: (in typically melodramatic tones) Evil has struck the House of Venture! The air reeks of an ill wind! Yea, though I have smelt it, that hath dealt it!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: Morning, Brock. [Brock grabs him by the throat and lifts him off the ground, sees who it is and drops him]
Brock: Hank? You all right?
Hank: [hoarsely] I will be.
Brock: You have to stop sneaking up on me.
Hank: I just wanted to tell you [coughs] H.E.L.P.E.R.'s broken. Uh, Brock?
Brock: Yeah?
Hank: [still holding his throat] Is it okay if I cry?
Brock: Hank? You all right?
Hank: [hoarsely] I will be.
Brock: You have to stop sneaking up on me.
Hank: I just wanted to tell you [coughs] H.E.L.P.E.R.'s broken. Uh, Brock?
Brock: Yeah?
Hank: [still holding his throat] Is it okay if I cry?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brock: Nice rescue, boys. You saved me from the only woman I've ever loved... with a hat that smells like a men's room... and we're still here.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dean: Dad is super serious all of a sudden. Do you really think he's in as much danger as he says he is?
Brock: Oh yeah, he's screwed. I give him about an hour before he panics and begs for us to haul him up.
Dr. Venture: Okay, guys, I can hear all this!
Brock: Oh yeah, he's screwed. I give him about an hour before he panics and begs for us to haul him up.
Dr. Venture: Okay, guys, I can hear all this!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture, Sr.: Ground control to Major Tom, your circuit's dead! There's something wrong! Can you hear me Major Tom? Can you hear me Major Tom? Can you hear me Major Tom?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(as Brock beats up the fake ghost pirate)
Pirate 1: Oh crap, he's getting his ass kicked, let's go save him!
Pirate 2: You crazy? My sword's made of cardboard.
Pirate 1: Oh crap, he's getting his ass kicked, let's go save him!
Pirate 2: You crazy? My sword's made of cardboard.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.