The Venture Bros. Quotes

Dr. Venture: Spirit, tell me, is this my grave?
Brock: (removing his hood) What's it look like, genius?

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Brock and Dr. Venture are discussing gifts for the boys)
Brock: Well, Hank's covered but I'm having trouble with Dean, he's a little--
Dr. Venture: More effeminate?
Brock: (concerned) --tougher to shop for!

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dean: (in Dr. Venture's dream as a Jack-in-the-Box) Why didn't he wish me a merry Christmas? Nobody wants a Dean-in-the-Box!

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: Oops, baby Jesus is out of the manger!
Brock: Wha? (quickly checks his pants zipper)

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Master Billy Quizboy: Hold the phone. Total babe alert, twelve o'clock.
Pete White: Oh yeah, I know her type. Watch and learn, Wilhelmina.
Billy: Okay, one: you're totally gay. Two: she's hot, and you're an albino. And three: you're totally gay.

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Triana Orpheus: Dad, I can take care of myself, you know.
Byron Orpheus: I'm sorry, pumpkin. I trust you to defend your honor. It's just that... MY PUMPKIN'S MAIDENHEAD IS NOT A PRIZE TO BE...
Triana Orpheus: DAD!

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Ooh, Orpheus. I wasn't expecting you to show up. Didn't think necromancers believed in Christmas.
Dr. Orpheus: Well, the whole affair is about as real as Kwanzaa, or uh, the Wookiees' Life Day, but I find it charming.

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank (to Dean): That gay albino is hitting on your not girlfriend.

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Doctor Venture (after the Krampus licks Triana's face): What kind of kinky christmas spirit is that?!
Doctor Orpheus: It is Germanic in origin.

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: That's ridiculous! There's no such thing as Santa Claus!
Dr. Orpheus: Not since he was killed by a jet in 1963, no. Nor has there been a Krampus since the pope cast him into purgatory during Vatican II. But your boys seem to have inadvertently released him from his chains.
Hank: Dean did it! I wanted to read the Grinch!

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[The Krampus is sodomizing Dr. Venture]
Dr. Venture: Brock! Come in Brock!
Brock: Hey, Fancy-Pants...I've been naughty. [tackles the Krampus] Comin' in MY HOUSE, ON CHRISTMAS! YOU WANT SOME OF THIS, YOU CHRISTMAS PIECE OF SHIT?!

TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(after crashing in Bethlehem)
Dr. Venture: So what do we do here, Brock?
Brock: Well, that all depends. If the Israelis get here first then we might have a chance, I know some guys in the Mossad. If the PLO shows up, well, my Arabic's a little shaky.
Dr. Venture: Are you kidding? Did you forget? This baby [the X-1] runs on pure plutonium, they're gonna love us!
Dean: And after all, that's what Christmas is all about!

TV Show: The Venture Bros.