The Venture Bros. Quotes
Dean Venture: Hank and I just woke up on the floor. We were playing Ouija and a guy hypnotized us.
Dr. Venture: Dean?
Dean Venture: With his magical Dracula powers.
Dr. Venture: Dean I'm going to turn around now and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames and the only person who can put you out is me! Because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
Dr. Venture: Dean?
Dean Venture: With his magical Dracula powers.
Dr. Venture: Dean I'm going to turn around now and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames and the only person who can put you out is me! Because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Byron Orpheus: Okay, Curse. Now was it Curse or Chris?
Curse: Curse! We can use magic, right? That's... kind of my bag.
Dr. Byron Orpheus: [all talking at once] Of course!
The Alchemist: Absolutely! Magic is a plus.
Jefferson Twilight: Oh, yeah, Curse, bring it on.
Jefferson Twilight: On three, we give him the old Rochambeau!
The Alchemist: Rock-paper-scissors?
Dr. Byron Orpheus: What does a general from the American Revolution have to do with this?
Jefferson Twilight: American revolution? Rochambeau sound... sounds French to me.
Dr. Byron Orpheus: Well yes, the Franco-American forces.
Jefferson Twilight: They fought with Spaghetti-o's and meatballs?
The Alchemist: Why would a company called Franco-American make Italian food?
Curse: Curse! We can use magic, right? That's... kind of my bag.
Dr. Byron Orpheus: [all talking at once] Of course!
The Alchemist: Absolutely! Magic is a plus.
Jefferson Twilight: Oh, yeah, Curse, bring it on.
Jefferson Twilight: On three, we give him the old Rochambeau!
The Alchemist: Rock-paper-scissors?
Dr. Byron Orpheus: What does a general from the American Revolution have to do with this?
Jefferson Twilight: American revolution? Rochambeau sound... sounds French to me.
Dr. Byron Orpheus: Well yes, the Franco-American forces.
Jefferson Twilight: They fought with Spaghetti-o's and meatballs?
The Alchemist: Why would a company called Franco-American make Italian food?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: What the hell are you doing here? You were supposed to be our "backup" crew in case something happens to us!
Dr. Jonas Venture Jr.: What do you want from me? I mean, look at you. You had "super kill guy" with you and you still got caught.
Dr. Jonas Venture Jr.: What do you want from me? I mean, look at you. You had "super kill guy" with you and you still got caught.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank Venture: I am the Bat!
Dr. Venture: Yes, yes. You're THE BAT! And THE BAT is the reason why we didn't take Best Group Costume... again! Last year, it was Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and THE BAT! Oh, and how about the time we were the hard-rocking quartet of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and THE BAT?
Hank Venture: The night is mine.
Dr. Venture: Yes, yes. You're THE BAT! And THE BAT is the reason why we didn't take Best Group Costume... again! Last year, it was Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and THE BAT! Oh, and how about the time we were the hard-rocking quartet of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and THE BAT?
Hank Venture: The night is mine.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank Venture: Dude! She totally digs you!
Dean Venture: You think?
Hank Venture: No.
Dean Venture: You think?
Hank Venture: No.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Monarch: I don't think I'm the one in danger here... considering the sad fact that right below you flows the MIGHTY AMAZON - teeming with the most GRUESOME fish to ever...
Hank Venture: [interrupting] The piranha!
The Monarch: No.
Hank Venture: The shark?
The Monarch: No!
Hank Venture: ...The piranha!
The Monarch: NO! And shut up! This isn't a quiz.
Hank Venture: [interrupting] The piranha!
The Monarch: No.
Hank Venture: The shark?
The Monarch: No!
Hank Venture: ...The piranha!
The Monarch: NO! And shut up! This isn't a quiz.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Baron Ünderbheit: Catclops? So you survived? Wait a minute, the cat hairs in my water! (lunges at Catclops) OF COURSE!!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Baron Ünderbheit: Is that what you think? Oh that is rich, I will have to tell Manservant that one. And he will have to laugh.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brock: [He eyes a glass of raw eggs that Hank has given him] Did you spit in this?
Hank: Don't eyeball me, Samson! Drink it!
Hank: Don't eyeball me, Samson! Drink it!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: Come on Brock, you need strong cardio-vascular agility training!
Brock: [pause] No.
Brock: [pause] No.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Monarch: Tell him you're going out with the girls tonight or something, I don't care!
Dr. Girlfriend: He's not buying it.
The Monarch: Ooo, I know! Tell him you think it's moving too fast.
Dr. Girlfriend: He's not buying it.
The Monarch: Ooo, I know! Tell him you think it's moving too fast.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: (outside the bathroom with robe and towel) Dean, what the hell are you doing in there? I need to take a shower!
Dean: I'm practicing being a boyfriend, Pop!
Dr. Venture: (sidling away, horrified) Uh, never mind, Dean.
Dean: I'm practicing being a boyfriend, Pop!
Dr. Venture: (sidling away, horrified) Uh, never mind, Dean.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(a stripper performs for Brock and Dr. Venture)
Dr. Venture: She's looking at me, what do I do?
Brock: Give her five bucks.
(Venture clumsily puts the bill into the stripper's thong but fumbles for change)
Dr. Venture: She's looking at me, what do I do?
Brock: Give her five bucks.
(Venture clumsily puts the bill into the stripper's thong but fumbles for change)
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Monarch: Dr. Venture's legendary scientific curiosity will naturally get the better of him. And when he immediately drills open the cosmic mystery, he'll get a face full of men! My men!! Loyal footsoldiers of my war on everything and deadly! Just like the monarch butterfly of my namesake.
Henchman: What? Butterflies aren't deadly.
Henchman: What? Butterflies aren't deadly.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Dr. Venture and the boys run into the hanger. Brock is wrestling with a mummy.)
Brock: Stay back! Another one of those mummies got stuck in our landing gear.
Mummy: Who dares to desecrate the sacred tomb of- oof!
(Brock kicks the mummy in the groin and then proceeds to beat him as the mummy protests.)
Mummy: Ow! Hey, hey! Wait a minute. (Brock breaks the mummys arm.) There's no reason to - aarghhh! (Brock delivers a karate chop to the throat.) Oof! Ow, oh, hey!
Hank: Holy toledo, he ripped on him!
Dean: Way to give him a little chin music Brock!
Dr. Venture: Well that ought to take care of tha-
Dean: Look, Brock still ain't done with him!
(Brock unzips his pants and preceeds to urinate on the mummy.)
Hank: That's showing him who's boss, Brock-O!
Dr. Venture: Was that really necessary?
Brock: You have to defile a mummy completely or they'll come back to life. You know that.
Brock: Stay back! Another one of those mummies got stuck in our landing gear.
Mummy: Who dares to desecrate the sacred tomb of- oof!
(Brock kicks the mummy in the groin and then proceeds to beat him as the mummy protests.)
Mummy: Ow! Hey, hey! Wait a minute. (Brock breaks the mummys arm.) There's no reason to - aarghhh! (Brock delivers a karate chop to the throat.) Oof! Ow, oh, hey!
Hank: Holy toledo, he ripped on him!
Dean: Way to give him a little chin music Brock!
Dr. Venture: Well that ought to take care of tha-
Dean: Look, Brock still ain't done with him!
(Brock unzips his pants and preceeds to urinate on the mummy.)
Hank: That's showing him who's boss, Brock-O!
Dr. Venture: Was that really necessary?
Brock: You have to defile a mummy completely or they'll come back to life. You know that.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: Ma Venture didn't raise no fools!
Dean: W-we don't have a mom, Hank.
(long, awkward pause)
Dean: Last one to the hanger's a rotten banana!
Hank: You're a rotten banana!
Dean: W-we don't have a mom, Hank.
(long, awkward pause)
Dean: Last one to the hanger's a rotten banana!
Hank: You're a rotten banana!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Monarch: You see, just like the flawless monarch butterfly from which I take my name, The Monarch has many ways to sting.
Cabbie: (weakly) Monarchs... don't sting...
Cabbie: (weakly) Monarchs... don't sting...
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Senzuri has just been discovered next to the Ooh ray)
General: He wasn't trying to steal it, he was masturbating like a teenager with a fast internet connection.
Hank: (puzzled) Mastur... what?
Dean: (equally puzzled) Like an evil master plan?
General: He wasn't trying to steal it, he was masturbating like a teenager with a fast internet connection.
Hank: (puzzled) Mastur... what?
Dean: (equally puzzled) Like an evil master plan?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Prostitute: Okay big fella, you first. I charge you ten bucks for the gilded lily, twenty for the Roman holiday, fifty for the old Walrus 'n' Carpenter,and for seventy-five you can sleigh ride down Kilimanjaro.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
UN Guard: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to turn in your weapon.
Dr. Venture: It's all right, soldier. Mr. Samson is my bodyguard.
UN Guard: Just the same, doctor. I'm going to have to confiscate it from you.
Brock: (growls furiously) Go ahead. (gives a horrible grin) Take it from me.
(Guard looks back to another guard, who shakes his head in absolute fear.)
Dr. Venture: It's all right, soldier. Mr. Samson is my bodyguard.
UN Guard: Just the same, doctor. I'm going to have to confiscate it from you.
Brock: (growls furiously) Go ahead. (gives a horrible grin) Take it from me.
(Guard looks back to another guard, who shakes his head in absolute fear.)
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Mexican University Administrator: ...your check, Dr. Venture. Muchas gracias.
Dr. Venture: Super good! Very generous of y-oh, pesos. Great. These zeros are all meaningless.
Dr. Venture: Super good! Very generous of y-oh, pesos. Great. These zeros are all meaningless.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Guevara: I am sorry, Señor Venture.
Dr. Venture: Doctor.
Dr. Guevara: Sí?
Dr. Venture: No, ‘Doctor Venture'. What's Mexican for ‘doctor'?
Dr. Guevara: Doctor.
Dr. Venture: Doctor.
Dr. Guevara: Sí?
Dr. Venture: No, ‘Doctor Venture'. What's Mexican for ‘doctor'?
Dr. Guevara: Doctor.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Guevara: I realize I am a Tijuana doctor, but even we have scruples. I could lose my license to practice…Mexican medicine.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank and Dean: Dad!
Dean: We knew you wouldn't let us down.
Hank: And just in the nick of time too - Monarch was gettin' all 'creepy uncle' on us.
Dean: We knew you wouldn't let us down.
Hank: And just in the nick of time too - Monarch was gettin' all 'creepy uncle' on us.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: (trying to pick a lock) Double dammit!
Dean: Hank, you said the double-d word!
Dean: Hank, you said the double-d word!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: (after being attacked by a frightening green creature) What the hell was that?
Brock: Chupacabra. They're all over Mexico.
Brock: Chupacabra. They're all over Mexico.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brock: How long can you live if you're not hooked up to him?
Dr. Venture: Oh, I dunno...a couple of hours? But they'd be awfully uncomf-- (Brock yanks out the tubes connecting Doc to H.E.L.P.eR.) GAH!
Dr. Venture: Oh, I dunno...a couple of hours? But they'd be awfully uncomf-- (Brock yanks out the tubes connecting Doc to H.E.L.P.eR.) GAH!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.