Undeclared Quotes

Lloyd Haythe: Man, you Americans are such nancies about fighting. Back in the East End, you can't even finish a Yorkshire pudding without some guy - BWAMM! - to the back of the head. [Ron and Marshall look confused]
Lloyd Haythe: All right. Are you two men, or pretty little ladies?
Ron Garner: Pretty lady right here.
Marshall Nesbitt: I'm a pretty lady.

Movie: Undeclared
Lloyd Haythe: What's your favorite film?
Ron Garner: "You've Got Mail." Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, a very likable Greg Kinnear... you think you're better than it, like 'Ooh this movie's going to suck' but then you watch it and it becomes a part of you.

Movie: Undeclared
Rachel Lindquist: Yeah. See, these remedies are natural, from the earth.
Ron Garner: Like that time I ate grass like a dog and puked.

Movie: Undeclared
Rachel Lindquist: [Rachel has just discovered Marshall's new Japanese girlfriend, who doesn't speak English] She's got the boobs of a six-year-old and she's like, dumb.
Lloyd Haythe: I don't think a dumb girl is necessarily wrong for him.
Ron Garner: She's not dumb, she just seems dumb 'cause she's foreign, like you, Lloyd.

Movie: Undeclared
Lucien: I wrote a poem about my job, okay, and I-I really, really think that this will really help you in your situation right now, okay:

TV Show: Undeclared
If you enter my room full of tears
My hope is that you will leave with a smile.
If you enter my room glowing with love
My hope is to share in your warmth.
So when you're feeling low
Just knock on my door and say, "Hello!"

TV Show: Undeclared
Marshall Nesbitt: I love learning! I'm a sponge!

TV Show: Undeclared
[Hillary kisses Lloyd]
Lloyd: You know what, Hillary, I.. we can't do this.
Hillary: Why?
Lloyd: Um... Because I have herpes.
Hillary: So what? I do too! Everybody does!
Lloyd: Yeah, I know, but um... you know what? I-I just... You're an RA, I'm a student, what if someone was to see? I don't...
Hillary: I'll go fast, like a man, just give it!

TV Show: Undeclared
Eric: I was at work today, and I thought of the coolest idea. I'm gonna start my own internet! It's awesome! I'll tell you why. Because first of all, the regular internet is too crowded. And second, my internet will be for people who might not have computers, and we'll mail you your email through your regular mail!

TV Show: Undeclared
Steven: What are you doing?
Lizzie: What?
Steven: Having sex isn't exactly breaking up with him.
Lizzie: I know. But it wasn't like that. It was like we were saying goodbye.
Steven: So you did break up with him?
Lizzie: No. But on a deeper level, it felt like we both knew it was the last time.

TV Show: Undeclared
[Ron and Marshall are eating free cafeteria food.]
Ron: Tell you what, free or not, I can't eat another bite.
Marshall: Hey dude, what's up?
Steven: Well, I have to find a job, or else you guys will be looking for a new roommate. My dad forgot to pay my tuition...
Ron: Okay, I got it. I saw this in a film. You are a student by day, and an illustrious man prostitute by night.
Marshall: Hey! Dude, I could totally hook you up with a job in the cafeteria, man! Boss totally loves me, dude!
Steven: Uh, no thanks, I think I'll pass. I'd rather be a man whore than work there. No offense.
Marshall: No, no, it's cool.
Steven: Oh, is that jello, could I have some of that?
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ron: Thank you. I thought he was fattening me up to eat me or something. Ridiculous.

TV Show: Undeclared
Rachel: These herbal remedies totally work. And they're all natural, from the earth!
Ron: Like one time I, uh, I ate grass until I puked like a dog and then I felt like so much better. Like that, right?

TV Show: Undeclared
Marshall: You're really smart.
Rachel: Thanks.
Marshall: And you're pretty. You're smart and pretty... Like a dolphin.

TV Show: Undeclared
Marshall: Adam Sandler I just, uh, I just want you to know that, um, I'm a really big fan.
Adam Sandler: Thank you.
Marshall: Yeah. Especially Billy Madison.
Adam Sandler: Oh yeah?
Marshall: That was like... that was like punk-rock.
Adam Sandler: [laughing] I guess so.
Marshall: But like everything after that, though, I just -- I just didn't like, you know what I mean.

TV Show: Undeclared
Ron: [Running down the hall yelling] I am the king! I am the king! I am the king! Do you know my name? Do you know it? I don't care, cause Adam Sandler knows it man, he knows it! I'm the chunky guy with glasses! Right here!

TV Show: Undeclared
Lizzie: I don't know. This seems like a bad idea. It's like cheating.
Rachel: It's not like cheating. It is cheating. This is cheating.

TV Show: Undeclared
Lizzie: How did you get so smart?
Dave: Uh, I uh, I read, I read like 8 or 9 books a week.
Rachel: Wow!
Steven: Told ya.
Dave: I also do a lot of speed. All the time.

TV Show: Undeclared
Lloyd: [Crying] I have some bad news, Ron. Steven's dead.
Ron: What? Steven died?
Lloyd: Well... No, but we lost all of our money.

TV Show: Undeclared
Lizzie: It's like my body is awake, and my mind is asleep!

TV Show: Undeclared
Luke: If you want, I could set you up with somebody, man. Yeah, matter fact I, I know somebody you might like.
Steven: Really?
Luke: I'm telling you, he'll fulfill your every need.
Steven: He? He. Thank you, but I'm sorry, uh, I'm not gay.
Luke: That's okay, man, neither is he. See, his name is Jesus.
Steven: Christ.
Luke: Yeah, see you know his name! Say it again, wear it out!

TV Show: Undeclared
Lizzie: [Trying on a shirt] What do you think?
Ron: Is that as big as your, uh, your boobs get?
Lizzie: Oh! I have a shirt for that!

TV Show: Undeclared
Amanda Haythe: When I was a little girl, I had this dream that a bear in the forest took my virginity.
Ron: A bear?
Amanda: A bear of a man.
Ron: Ahh, the man-bear, yeah.

TV Show: Undeclared
Ron: The name Ron will be like their new little secret inside joke for bad sex, you know? "How was your shag?" "Oh, I got Ronned, he Ronned me, it was terrible."

TV Show: Undeclared
Eric: You're not my girlfriend. You're my girl-enemy.

TV Show: Undeclared
Marshall: Yeah, come on guys, don't make fun of Steve... Or his breasts will lactate.

TV Show: Undeclared
Ron: Fraternities are evil. Okay, they brainwash you, they steal your soul, they take your firstborn for God sakes.

TV Show: Undeclared
Lloyd: Oh, hi Momma. Me and Austin were just wrestling. He looks like he's in pain, but he's fine.
Perry: As your mother, I am very disappointed that you want to kill your brother. She sighs and exits with her luggage.
Lloyd: Perry, don't read the stage directions.

TV Show: Undeclared
Lloyd: Faster, boy, faster, don't make me get the hose!
Perry: Actually, Lloyd, this is a school zone, and in this country it's illegal to run over children
Marshall: Get your stick out of your butt and go!

TV Show: Undeclared
Tina: I am not fat! I am voluptuous! I got back.
Rachel: Yeah, well just don't back into me!

TV Show: Undeclared
Marshall: Well at least you can't tell I peed myself back there.

TV Show: Undeclared