The Suite Life of Zack and Cody Quotes

Zack: [to Cody] Why is she still here?
Carey: To remind you not to see anything inappropriate, like Bullet Sandwich or Zombie Mom.
Cody: Fine, but when you pick us up, no hugging and no calling us "my little men."
Carey: Why don't you just rip my heart out?
Zack: I think that's how Zombie Mom ends.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cody: Even though I found the plotline was thin and the blood-drinking scene quite gratuitous, it scared the snot out of Janice. And she held on to me the whole time.
Zack: Yeah, great flick.
Cody: I could tell you liked it by your screaming.
Zack: I wasn't screaming. I was cheering. [Cody moves to turn the light off.] Don't you turn off that light!
Cody: Or what, you'll "cheer" again?

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cody: We haven't even had our first meeting yet, and you're already breaking the rules?
Zack: Look, I didn't join up just to follow a bunch of dopey rules. I joined so I could tie knots, climb things and start campfires.
Moseby: Basically, all the stuff you do in my lobby.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Warren: This is no picnic, ma'am.
Bob: It is a tough, macho journey into the deep dark unknown.
Zack: TAXI!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Zack: [after the mother hawk flies away] Who is going to hatch the egg?
Cody: I will.
Zack: Okay, but you'd better squat real low.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Moseby: I talked to the zoo, and they're willing to take the baby hawk as an honored guest.
Patrick: Oh, brilliant solution. Everyone's happy.
Maddie: I know Cody, and he'll never put his baby in a cage.
Moseby: Oh, well, maybe the zoo will also take the twins. Oh, happy day!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Dr. Chip: So, who's the patient?
Carey: That would be me, the woman lying in bed, sneezing her guts out.
Dr. Chip: Actually, you can't really sneeze your guts out. I wrote a paper on it.
Cody: What grade did you get?
Dr. Chip: That's not important!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Zack: For Cody, two hundred single-ply napkins.
Cody: I wanted two-ply.
Zack: [throwing box in Cody's direction] Glue them together. [the box hits Cody's head.]
Cody: Ow...
Zack: Here's an ice pack. [prepares to throw it]
Cody: Never mind!
Carey: Honey, why don't you just walk the stuff to him?
Zack: It's not my fault all he can catch is a cold.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Maddie: Hey, guys. So, how'd the summer job hunt go?
Cody: I tell ya, it's tough to secure employment in an economic climate where interest rates are climbing and large cap stocks are fluctuating wildly.
Zack: Plus, we got turned down by Taco Schmaco.
Maddie: Well, Señor Schmaco does like employees to see over the counter.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cody: Zack, you told me you booked two dancers who looked like they were from the '60s, not two dancers in their sixties!
Zack: They looked hot here in this picture.
Cody: Didn't you notice the brontosaurus in the background?

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cody: [talking like Elvis] Don't cry, little lady. You're getting tears on my blue suede shoes.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
London: Whatcha doing?
Maddie: [typing angrily] I'm composing an irate letter to Mr. Moseby in an attempt to express my inner angst and achieve emotional catharsis.
London: Whatcha doing?
Maddie: Typing.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
History Teacher: You seem a little batty!
Mosbey's Grandmother: Oh, I'm batty; this bat is batty! [pulls a bat out of a bag and chases Zack's teacher]

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Maddie: London, someone's at the drive-thru. Use this script to take their order.
London: [presses button] Hello. Can I take your order? [Gibberish is heard through the speaker.] Huh?
Maddie: They said they want a Cluck Muncher Meal. Press that button. Use the script!
London: [presses button and reads from script] Would you like anything else? Suggest whatever's getting cold... Oh.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Zack: I got beaten by a girl! It's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me!
Cody: More embarrassing than the time in gym class when your shorts fell down?
Zack: That was you.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Carey: Zack, I can't believe you're being that shallow.
Cody: Face it, Mom. He's as shallow as a kiddie pool.
Zack: At least I'm not scared to swim in one.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cody [to Zack]: I just hope you don't act like a jerk again around Ella.
Zack: No, no, I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. And we're going back to Putt Putt Party and I'm gonna politely pummel her to a pulp.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Tiffany: Who cares? That would be like my brother dating Chelsea.
Chelsea: Oh, just because my family's yacht is smaller than yours, you think you're better than me?
Tiffany: Well... yeah!
Chelsea: And, by the way, I did date your brother. He's an idiot.
Maddie: Yikes.
London: Girls, girls, please. It's okay for rich people to hang out with other people who have less money than they do. I mean, I hang out with you guys.
Maddie: Double yikes!
Tiffany: (to London) Well, at least my daddy's not an inn keeper!
London: (gasps) How dare you! (spills her drink on Tiffany's dress) Oops.
Tiffany: Did you just purposely throw tea on my new dress?!
London: Honey, what does it matter? It's probably a knockoff anyway.
Maddie: Uh, ladies, shouldn't we get back to the book?
(Tiffany puts a pie on London's head)
Tiffany: Oops.
London: I'll have you know, I'm too much of a lady to engage in your low-class behavior. Oh, who am I kidding? (hits Tiffany in the back of the head with another pie)
Chelsea: Girls, girls. It doesn't matter what you have in the bank. All that matters is what you have on your face. (hits Tiffany in the face with a pie)
Tiffany: That better be low-fat!
Chelsea: Well, let's ask London. (hits London in the face with a pie)
(Both London & Tiffany hit Chelsea in the face with another pie)
London & Tiffany: Oops.
Maddie: All right, I'll just be going, then!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Mr. Moseby [to Maddie]: Thought your shift was over, Madeline?
Maddie: It is. But I thought I'd stay and, uh, do a little inventory.
Mr. Moseby: Couldn't resist listening in on London's book club, could you?
Maddie: I can't help it! It's just too bizarre!
Chelsea: (to the other girls in the book club) Okay, everyone, let's get the discussion started.
London: It's about time. (opens up the book) Can we talk about Paris? (closes the book) Did you guys see that hideous pink dress she wore to the Gala last night? It looked like she threw up a flamingo!
Maddie: (to Mr. Moseby) They're not even discussing the book!
Mr. Moseby: And you're surprised because?

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Barbara: Cody, this looks really complicated.
Cody: Not really. All you have to do is look at it as if it were an isosoles triangle. The giraffe on the line intersecting it diagonally.
Barbara: And if you calculate the angle trigectory, you should be able to find the coordinates of the optimal target zone.
Cody: I should have bought my protractor.
Barbara: Oh, I have one! (reaches to her back pocket and takes it out.)
Cody: The Angle Jam 2000?
Barbara: I got it for Chanukah.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Zack: Cody, I have a date with Ella this Saturday and I need you to go with us.
Cody: Oh no! I know what you're doing and I'm not going out with her creepy sister...
Zack: But you...
Cody: ...or brother...
Zack: C'mon you-
Cody: ...or dog.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Zack [to Cody]: Would you relax? You can go with whoever you want.
Cody: Why do I need to go with you at all?
Zack: Because...I really wanna impress Ella and no matter what we end up doing, you just make me look better.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Carey (after finishing her push-ups): TEN! (reaches to grab the donut)
Zack: (takes the donut before Carey)
Carey: Honey, that was my reward!
Zack: Wasn't being a mother reward enough?

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Zack [to Ella]: Your hair looks really pretty under the glow of the tiki torches.
Ella: Thanks. Wait until you see it blowing under the windmill.
Cloris: You should see my hair under the windmill.
Zack: (to Ella privately) Yeah, how do you think it got that way?
Cloris: I heard that!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cloris: (screams) Next!
Barbara: (scared) I don't want to be next! (hides behind Cody)

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Ella [to Zack]: By the way, I let you win.
Zack: Did not... did you?
Ella: Maybe I did... maybe I didn't.
Zack: Oh, so that's how you want it? Fine. Best 2 out of 3.
Ella: You're on.
Zack: Oh, and if you win, it's best 5 out of 9.

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
London: Girls, let's turn to real issues...what do you think of my hair?
Maddie: I'm horrified!
Mr. Moseby: I think her hair looks nice. It's shiny.
Maddie: Did any of you even read the book?
Tiffany: Well, my butler was reading it to me, but my cell phone rang. It was Bradley Wiggins!
Chelsea: Oooh, he's cute!
Tiffany: I know! And he said he's thinking of dumping Allison... for me!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
London: (gets a papercut from reading a book) Reading is dangerous!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Cody: What's wrong, Chef Paolo?
Chef Paolo: It's the results of my blood test.
Zack: It can't be that bad.
Chef Paolo: They found bacon bits!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Chef Paolo: [reading a note from Cody] Chef Paolo, here's your midnight snack: one chocolate chip. If you learn to enjoy things in moderation, you can live healthier. [takes a small bite from the chocolate chip] I will save the rest for later... It's later!

TV Show: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody