The Mentalist Quotes
Rigsby: Oh, I've been hypnotized, have I? You gonna make me do embarrassing things? Pretend I'm Tina Turner or something?
Jane: You wanna be like Tina Turner?
Jane: You wanna be like Tina Turner?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Carl is still our prime suspect in this. We can't use him a bait.
Jane: Well, as long as we don't lose him or break him, then what's the problem?
Jane: Well, as long as we don't lose him or break him, then what's the problem?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: This case is closed. You're just seeing suggestion everywhere, Jane. You're too suggestible.
Jane: Hmm.
Lisbon: Oh, right. Too much of a control freak for that?
Rigsby: Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot. [Lisbon gives him a look]
Jane: Hmm.
Lisbon: Oh, right. Too much of a control freak for that?
Rigsby: Pot, meet kettle. Kettle, pot. [Lisbon gives him a look]
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane is trying to convince everyone else that Rigsby is hypnotized]
Jane: Deeply hypnotized subjects are very suggestible and have very little inhibition. Rigsby, do me a favor. Close your eyes. Please. [Rigsby closes his eyes] Now, relax. Don't tell me, but think about it. Think about what you most wanna be doing right now. You can do anything you like in the whole world. What are you gonna do? I want you to open your eyes and do it.
[Rigsby opens his eyes, gets up and kisses Grace]
Jane: Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
Cho: Huh.
Lisbon: Okay, he's hypnotized.
Jane: Deeply hypnotized subjects are very suggestible and have very little inhibition. Rigsby, do me a favor. Close your eyes. Please. [Rigsby closes his eyes] Now, relax. Don't tell me, but think about it. Think about what you most wanna be doing right now. You can do anything you like in the whole world. What are you gonna do? I want you to open your eyes and do it.
[Rigsby opens his eyes, gets up and kisses Grace]
Jane: Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.
Cho: Huh.
Lisbon: Okay, he's hypnotized.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Hypnosis is just a way to connect to the imagination rather than the conscious mind. The mind will accept whatever the imagination creates, however bizarre.
Lisbon: Hypnotism is what you use against my explicit orders to get witnesses to tell the truth. It's a little different than convincing somebody that a dead girl is a sack of vegetables.
Jane: Different in scale.
Lisbon: Hypnotism is what you use against my explicit orders to get witnesses to tell the truth. It's a little different than convincing somebody that a dead girl is a sack of vegetables.
Jane: Different in scale.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Carl Resnik who's been hypnotized]
Jane: He's all soft and squishy and malleable.
Lisbon: Well, can you fix him? Lift the trance, make him remember what happened?
Jane: I could try but without knowing the trigger it would be like you and me playing Marco Polo in the Atlantic. Take forever and you get all pruny. Easier just to find the hypnotist and ask him.
Jane: He's all soft and squishy and malleable.
Lisbon: Well, can you fix him? Lift the trance, make him remember what happened?
Jane: I could try but without knowing the trigger it would be like you and me playing Marco Polo in the Atlantic. Take forever and you get all pruny. Easier just to find the hypnotist and ask him.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: What's NLP?
Lindsay Hendricks: Neurolinguistic programming.
Jane: Well, sneaky ways to influence people doesn't sound quite as catchy.
Lindsay Hendricks: Neurolinguistic programming.
Jane: Well, sneaky ways to influence people doesn't sound quite as catchy.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Rigsby pretends that he doesn't remember kissing Grace when he was hypnotized]
Jane: Coward.
Rigsby: What?
Jane: You honestly don't remember it?
Rigsby: Don't remember what?
Cho: He remembers.
Lisbon: He so remembers.
Rigsby: What?
Jane: It'll come to you.
Jane: Coward.
Rigsby: What?
Jane: You honestly don't remember it?
Rigsby: Don't remember what?
Cho: He remembers.
Lisbon: He so remembers.
Rigsby: What?
Jane: It'll come to you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Dr. Daniel: You're ambitious, more than you let anyone see. A girl from nowheresville, desperate to make it big, but you're worried that you'll always be smalltown, smalltime, you haven't got what it takes, and that's why you're so shut down to everything but this job.
Grace: Dr. Daniel, no offense, but I've been working with Patrick Jane for nine months now. You wanna get under my skin, you're gonna have to up your game.
Grace: Dr. Daniel, no offense, but I've been working with Patrick Jane for nine months now. You wanna get under my skin, you're gonna have to up your game.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Felicia Scott: I hope that she finds happiness. Because happiness is so hard to find. Once you find it, you've gotta hang on tight, or you will lose it.
Jane: That's true.
Jane: That's true.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You know what I predict?
Lisbon: Nope.
Jane: Guess.
Lisbon: Just tell me.
Jane: No, I think you should guess, it's good for you. (Lisbon gives him a look.) I predict that Brandon Fulton will pay a visit to the Hanson residence this evening.
Lisbon: You think? Wouldn't be too clever.
Jane: Love is not blind, but it's often pretty stupid.
Lisbon: Nope.
Jane: Guess.
Lisbon: Just tell me.
Jane: No, I think you should guess, it's good for you. (Lisbon gives him a look.) I predict that Brandon Fulton will pay a visit to the Hanson residence this evening.
Lisbon: You think? Wouldn't be too clever.
Jane: Love is not blind, but it's often pretty stupid.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Felicia Scott]
Jane: Whoo. She was some woman. Make the mighty agent Lisbon blush like a school girl.
Lisbon: Please, I did not.
Jane: Whoo. She was some woman. Make the mighty agent Lisbon blush like a school girl.
Lisbon: Please, I did not.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Oh, Mitch, I thought we'd worked through your doormat issues. [To Lisbon] Tell Cho to squeeze him a little, he knows things.
Mitch: No, I don't.
Jane: Sure you do, Mitch.
Lisbon: You're not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.
Mitch: No, I don't.
Jane: Sure you do, Mitch.
Lisbon: You're not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: What is it that first attracted you to your husband? Not his looks.
Felicia Scott: Oh, really?
Jane: Yeah, really. He's not your type.
Felicia Scott: And what is my type?
Jane: Oh, ah, sporty bad boys with a hidden masochistic streak.
Felicia Scott: Aha.
Jane: Not too bright.
Felicia Scott: Not even close.
Jane: No, that was a bull's eye.
Felicia Scott: Oh, really?
Jane: Yeah, really. He's not your type.
Felicia Scott: And what is my type?
Jane: Oh, ah, sporty bad boys with a hidden masochistic streak.
Felicia Scott: Aha.
Jane: Not too bright.
Felicia Scott: Not even close.
Jane: No, that was a bull's eye.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[After Jane lets go of two street performers without Cho's authorizatio])
Cho: Nice. I could arrest you for that.
Jane: You'll never take me alive, copper.
Cho: Seriously.
Jane: Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?
Cho: Nice. I could arrest you for that.
Jane: You'll never take me alive, copper.
Cho: Seriously.
Jane: Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Yeah, you guys go find out. I'll find the couch. [Stands up and turns around] Oh, there it is.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: I'm not saying you knew about the affair, I'm just saying that if you did, you'd be our prime suspect. Funny when your best defense is your apparent lack of the most basic detective skills.
Marshal Exley: You little son of a bitch.
Cho: Easy.
Jane: I'm sorry. I'm just thinking aloud. No offense.
Marshal Exley: Yeah, right. No offense.
Jane: None taken.
Marshal Exley: You little son of a bitch.
Cho: Easy.
Jane: I'm sorry. I'm just thinking aloud. No offense.
Marshal Exley: Yeah, right. No offense.
Jane: None taken.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about the whereabouts of a mafioso Sonny Battaglia]
Jane: Palm Desert right here in California?
Lisbon: No.
Jane: Palm Desert's not in California?
Lisbon: No, you can't sneak off and talk to Sonny Battaglia.
Jane: Oh, I thought you meant Palm Desert wasn't in California. It is in California, right?
Jane: Palm Desert right here in California?
Lisbon: No.
Jane: Palm Desert's not in California?
Lisbon: No, you can't sneak off and talk to Sonny Battaglia.
Jane: Oh, I thought you meant Palm Desert wasn't in California. It is in California, right?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Thanks for your time, Mr. Battaglia. See you later.
Sonny Battaglia: Hey, wait a minute. I'm not finished talking with you yet.
Jane: I'm finished talking with you.
Sonny Battaglia: What are you, Al Pacino all of a sudden? People don't act that way with me.
Jane: I do when there's witnesses around.
Sonny Battaglia: What are we gonna do with this guy? He's got a screw loose.
Jane: You think you have a certain charm about you, and you do, but you live by oppression. In reality you're just a greedy, twisted little sadist.
Sonny Battaglia: Hey, screw you blondie. You're lucky you helped me beat Arnold Palmer here or I'd plug you right now. To hell with the witnesses.
[Jane just waves at him]
Sonny Battaglia: Hey, wait a minute. I'm not finished talking with you yet.
Jane: I'm finished talking with you.
Sonny Battaglia: What are you, Al Pacino all of a sudden? People don't act that way with me.
Jane: I do when there's witnesses around.
Sonny Battaglia: What are we gonna do with this guy? He's got a screw loose.
Jane: You think you have a certain charm about you, and you do, but you live by oppression. In reality you're just a greedy, twisted little sadist.
Sonny Battaglia: Hey, screw you blondie. You're lucky you helped me beat Arnold Palmer here or I'd plug you right now. To hell with the witnesses.
[Jane just waves at him]
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: What did you learn?
Jane: She's scared. She's of Italian descent. She bites her nails. She doesn't like pets or pineapple.
Lisbon: Useful stuff.
Jane: She's scared. She's of Italian descent. She bites her nails. She doesn't like pets or pineapple.
Lisbon: Useful stuff.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Kid: Yeah, screw the cops.
Jane: Even for a midget villain like yourself, that's an untenable position. Every modern society has some kind of police force. It's like saying, screw the public transport system.
Jane: Even for a midget villain like yourself, that's an untenable position. Every modern society has some kind of police force. It's like saying, screw the public transport system.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: Teenagers. I hate questioning teenagers. It's like talking to mud.
Jane: You need some love in your heart.
Rigsby: Oh, is that my problem.
Jane: Yeah, it is.
Jane: You need some love in your heart.
Rigsby: Oh, is that my problem.
Jane: Yeah, it is.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Any money go missing lately?
Playland owner: Nope. And I keep tabs, trust me.
Jane: And why should we trust you?
Playland owner: It's just a phrase, like "you know".
Jane: What do I know?
Playland owner: No. You don't know anything I'm saying it's just a thing to say.
Jane: Oh, it's a figure of speech.
Playland owner: Right.
Jane: So we shouldn't trust you, really.
Playland owner: Yeah. No, you should.
Playland owner: Nope. And I keep tabs, trust me.
Jane: And why should we trust you?
Playland owner: It's just a phrase, like "you know".
Jane: What do I know?
Playland owner: No. You don't know anything I'm saying it's just a thing to say.
Jane: Oh, it's a figure of speech.
Playland owner: Right.
Jane: So we shouldn't trust you, really.
Playland owner: Yeah. No, you should.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane has guessed what Rigsby and Van Pelt got Lisbon for her birthday]
Cho: Okay, two for two. How about mine?
Jane: Cho. [Cho hands Lisbon a present and Jane covers his eyes]
Lisbon: That's sweet, thank you.
Jane: I got it.
Lisbon: Okay. [Opens the present] Okay, what is it?
Jane: It's a mid- to high- end bottle of... wine-- aah, no, no, no. Champagne.
Lisbon: Yes.
Jane: Yup, there I go. [whispering to Cho] Re-gift?
Cho: It's a really good bottle. I don't drink it.
Cho: Okay, two for two. How about mine?
Jane: Cho. [Cho hands Lisbon a present and Jane covers his eyes]
Lisbon: That's sweet, thank you.
Jane: I got it.
Lisbon: Okay. [Opens the present] Okay, what is it?
Jane: It's a mid- to high- end bottle of... wine-- aah, no, no, no. Champagne.
Lisbon: Yes.
Jane: Yup, there I go. [whispering to Cho] Re-gift?
Cho: It's a really good bottle. I don't drink it.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Do I detect a slight residue of grumpiness in you demeanor?
Lisbon: No.
Jane: I swear to you, Lisbon, your gift is on its way.
Lisbon: I am not grumpy and I don't give a damn about your supposed gift.
Jane: [To Rigsby] She's still grumpy with me, isn't she?
Rigsby: Not touching that.
Lisbon: No.
Jane: I swear to you, Lisbon, your gift is on its way.
Lisbon: I am not grumpy and I don't give a damn about your supposed gift.
Jane: [To Rigsby] She's still grumpy with me, isn't she?
Rigsby: Not touching that.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[It's Lisbon's birthday and everyone else has given her a gift except Jane]
Grace: Where's your gift?
Jane: Oh, it's on its way. [Rigsby laughs]
Lisbon: Typical.
Jane: You really think that I would forget your birthday present? [Lisbon nods] It's on its way.
Lisbon: Yeah, right.
Jane: Little grumpy because daddy didn't buy you a pony?
Grace: Where's your gift?
Jane: Oh, it's on its way. [Rigsby laughs]
Lisbon: Typical.
Jane: You really think that I would forget your birthday present? [Lisbon nods] It's on its way.
Lisbon: Yeah, right.
Jane: Little grumpy because daddy didn't buy you a pony?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Look at it this way. We've closed yet another case.
Lisbon: Toying with mafia bosses is no way to close cases, it's stupid.
Jane: Meh. You just trying to find fault. And I know why.
Lisbon: Oh, really?
Jane: You're still a little grumpy about the birthday present thing.
Lisbon: Will you leave that alone?
Jane: Unbelievable. You've got no reason to be grumpy anymore. [He puts a red bow on Lisbon's office door. She opens the door and finds a pony standing in her office. Lisbon smiles and is lost for words]
Lisbon: Toying with mafia bosses is no way to close cases, it's stupid.
Jane: Meh. You just trying to find fault. And I know why.
Lisbon: Oh, really?
Jane: You're still a little grumpy about the birthday present thing.
Lisbon: Will you leave that alone?
Jane: Unbelievable. You've got no reason to be grumpy anymore. [He puts a red bow on Lisbon's office door. She opens the door and finds a pony standing in her office. Lisbon smiles and is lost for words]
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Oh, and thank you.
Lisbon: For what?
Jane: For just letting us play it out like this.
Lisbon: Nah. We would have had to let her go on the murder charge anyway. Nothing to keep her on until we get proof. Besides, this is a simple plan. It's when you start getting costumes and props that I get nervous.
Lisbon: For what?
Jane: For just letting us play it out like this.
Lisbon: Nah. We would have had to let her go on the murder charge anyway. Nothing to keep her on until we get proof. Besides, this is a simple plan. It's when you start getting costumes and props that I get nervous.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane and Cho are arresting Brooke Harper]
Jane: My friend Cho here will now take you by the wrist so as not to let you escape us again.
Cho: [Grasps her wrist, gently] Hi.
Brooke Harper: Warm hands.
Jane: I bet you say that to all your arresting officers.
Jane: My friend Cho here will now take you by the wrist so as not to let you escape us again.
Cho: [Grasps her wrist, gently] Hi.
Brooke Harper: Warm hands.
Jane: I bet you say that to all your arresting officers.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Brooke Harper is trying to open a locker when Jane and Cho come up from behind her]
Jane: Hello, gorgeous.
Brooke Harper: Beat it, creep.
Jane: I'd call you by your real name, but I don't know what it is.
Brooke Harper: [Turns around and sees Jane] Hello, Mr. Jane.
Jane: Hi.
Brooke Harper: I'm impressed.
Jane: Oh, for finding you? Wasn't that difficult.
Brooke Harper: Would you have a cigar?
Jane: Thank you, no. I hear they're not so good for your health.
Brooke Harper: Well, who wants to live forever?
Jane: It'd be horrible, wouldn't it? Immortality. Imagine the boredom.
Jane: Hello, gorgeous.
Brooke Harper: Beat it, creep.
Jane: I'd call you by your real name, but I don't know what it is.
Brooke Harper: [Turns around and sees Jane] Hello, Mr. Jane.
Jane: Hi.
Brooke Harper: I'm impressed.
Jane: Oh, for finding you? Wasn't that difficult.
Brooke Harper: Would you have a cigar?
Jane: Thank you, no. I hear they're not so good for your health.
Brooke Harper: Well, who wants to live forever?
Jane: It'd be horrible, wouldn't it? Immortality. Imagine the boredom.
TV Show: The Mentalist