The Mentalist Quotes
Lisbon: Who's Miles Thorsen?
Jane: No one in particular.
Lisbon: This is what I'm talking about.
Jane: Oh. No, me too. You want no fuss, no mess, right? I am casting a wide, invisible net, the killer won't even know he's in it until it's too late.
Lisbon: Miles Thorsen is an invisible net?
Jane: Yes, he is.
Jane: No one in particular.
Lisbon: This is what I'm talking about.
Jane: Oh. No, me too. You want no fuss, no mess, right? I am casting a wide, invisible net, the killer won't even know he's in it until it's too late.
Lisbon: Miles Thorsen is an invisible net?
Jane: Yes, he is.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: No secrets, Jane. No lies, no tricks, no surprises. The truth.
Jane: Since when is that the rule?
Lisbon: Since I said so.
Jane: Or else what?
Lisbon: You're off the unit.
Jane: That's not leverage. This is my last case, remember. The only reason I'm still here is because I'm worried about how you guys would cope without me.
Lisbon: Oh, really? So we're lost without you, are we?
Jane: Well, yeah. Let's be honest here.
[Lisbon slams the car door shut right in front of Jane and gets in with Rigsby and Grace]
Lisbon: Let's go!
Jane: Since when is that the rule?
Lisbon: Since I said so.
Jane: Or else what?
Lisbon: You're off the unit.
Jane: That's not leverage. This is my last case, remember. The only reason I'm still here is because I'm worried about how you guys would cope without me.
Lisbon: Oh, really? So we're lost without you, are we?
Jane: Well, yeah. Let's be honest here.
[Lisbon slams the car door shut right in front of Jane and gets in with Rigsby and Grace]
Lisbon: Let's go!
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: You're leaving?
Jane: Well, frankly if I can't use this job to seek some kind of personal revenge then, uh, there's not a whole lot here for me. I don't make anything better. I can't bring dead people back to life. What good do we do? We drive around California visiting unhappy people.
Grace: We're fighting evil and injustice.
Jane: And how's that going? Any progress lately?
Cho: We put bad guys away where they can't hurt people. That's good enough.
Jane: Nah. I was doing more good as a psychic. I was giving people hope at least. False hope, but hope anyway.
Lisbon: You're right. Best you leave. That way you can go back to being a full-time fraud and we can continue our useless jobs in peace.
Jane: Well, frankly if I can't use this job to seek some kind of personal revenge then, uh, there's not a whole lot here for me. I don't make anything better. I can't bring dead people back to life. What good do we do? We drive around California visiting unhappy people.
Grace: We're fighting evil and injustice.
Jane: And how's that going? Any progress lately?
Cho: We put bad guys away where they can't hurt people. That's good enough.
Jane: Nah. I was doing more good as a psychic. I was giving people hope at least. False hope, but hope anyway.
Lisbon: You're right. Best you leave. That way you can go back to being a full-time fraud and we can continue our useless jobs in peace.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Can I please continue working with you?
Lisbon: I thought you were quitting.
Jane: You know I didn't mean that.
Lisbon: So the job is worthwhile, is it?
Jane: Uh, it's not that. I mean, it' not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do.
Lisbon: No jokes. From now, there have to be boundaries.
Jane: Agreed.
Lisbon: I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up.
Jane: No mess, I swear.
Lisbon: On that basis, you can remain with the unit.
Jane: Thank you. [He hugs her]
Lisbon: I thought you were quitting.
Jane: You know I didn't mean that.
Lisbon: So the job is worthwhile, is it?
Jane: Uh, it's not that. I mean, it' not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do.
Lisbon: No jokes. From now, there have to be boundaries.
Jane: Agreed.
Lisbon: I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up.
Jane: No mess, I swear.
Lisbon: On that basis, you can remain with the unit.
Jane: Thank you. [He hugs her]
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: How did it go with Bosco?
Jane: Good. It was, uh, it was very good. We had a frank exchange of views.
Lisbon: So he's gonna keep us in the loop?
Jane: No.
Lisbon: No?
Jane: Wouldn't direct me to the bathroom if my ass was on fire.
Jane: Good. It was, uh, it was very good. We had a frank exchange of views.
Lisbon: So he's gonna keep us in the loop?
Jane: No.
Lisbon: No?
Jane: Wouldn't direct me to the bathroom if my ass was on fire.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[After Minelli has reprimanded the team]
Jane: Well, I thought that went pretty well.
Lisbon: Great, yeah.
Jane: Highlight for me was definitely your speech. Passionate, articulate, strong.
Lisbon: Whatever
Jane: Well, I thought that went pretty well.
Lisbon: Great, yeah.
Jane: Highlight for me was definitely your speech. Passionate, articulate, strong.
Lisbon: Whatever
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Sir, Crew and Batson manipulated us into arresting the wrong person. They bugged our offices and subverted our case. I don't think we did anything wrong. I think we should be commended.
Minelli: [nods to Jane] Congratulations. You finally got her to drink the kool-aid.
Minelli: [nods to Jane] Congratulations. You finally got her to drink the kool-aid.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Lisbon is in therapy]
Dr. Carmen: Do you know why counselling is mandatory for CBI agents who've been involved in a shooting?
Lisbon: Because nobody would come if it was voluntary?
Dr. Carmen: Do you know why counselling is mandatory for CBI agents who've been involved in a shooting?
Lisbon: Because nobody would come if it was voluntary?
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane and the others have used a corpse to get a confession]
Jane: We got a confession.
Minelli: Suppose you didn't. Suppose you'd been wrong. Have you any idea of the vastness of the the crap storm that would follow? It would blot out the sun.
Jane: We got a confession.
Minelli: Suppose you didn't. Suppose you'd been wrong. Have you any idea of the vastness of the the crap storm that would follow? It would blot out the sun.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: [Points to Dr. Steiner with a stick] And I can see what you're thinking right now.
Dr. Steiner: Uh, I was thinking that you, sir, are a bumptious fool, and I was wondering exactly what training in forensic pathology you have.
Jane: Ah, but right before that, you were wondering whether you would choose Lisbon or Van Pelt as your concubine in that little fantasy kingdom you like to go to sometimes.
Dr. Steiner: I...I do not.
Dr. Steiner: Uh, I was thinking that you, sir, are a bumptious fool, and I was wondering exactly what training in forensic pathology you have.
Jane: Ah, but right before that, you were wondering whether you would choose Lisbon or Van Pelt as your concubine in that little fantasy kingdom you like to go to sometimes.
Dr. Steiner: I...I do not.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Shall I recap the case, sleepyhead?
Jane: Kristin Marley, Lady Senator's aide, rumored romance with the senator's husband.
Lisbon: Very good.
Jane: Oh, I trained myself to hear and take in information while asleep.
Lisbon: The others told you?
Jane: Yes, they did.
Jane: Kristin Marley, Lady Senator's aide, rumored romance with the senator's husband.
Lisbon: Very good.
Jane: Oh, I trained myself to hear and take in information while asleep.
Lisbon: The others told you?
Jane: Yes, they did.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: [Lying on the couch] Wow. There's a stain on the ceiling that looks like Elvis, but today it looks more like a basset hound.
Cho: [Dry] Someone call the media, it's a miracle.
Cho: [Dry] Someone call the media, it's a miracle.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: You are taking over the McAdoo interview.
Grace: I'm totally ready for that. I can get him to confess to this.
Lisbon: Yeah. Maybe. Main thing is you keep him there long enough for us to search his car. Be friendly. He thinks he is a player. He'll live it up.
Grace: What do you mean, "be friendly"?
Lisbon: Need a map?
Grace: I'm totally ready for that. I can get him to confess to this.
Lisbon: Yeah. Maybe. Main thing is you keep him there long enough for us to search his car. Be friendly. He thinks he is a player. He'll live it up.
Grace: What do you mean, "be friendly"?
Lisbon: Need a map?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: How did the Batson interview go?
Jane: Oh, that was very exciting.
Minelli: [To Lisbon] What did he do?
Lisbon: Nothing that can't be repaired.
Jane: Oh, that was very exciting.
Minelli: [To Lisbon] What did he do?
Lisbon: Nothing that can't be repaired.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: You have any plans for tonight?
Grace: Home. TV.
Rigsby: Well...have fun.
Grace: You too. [Leaves the room]
Cho: [to Rigsby] You're gonna die alone.
Grace: Home. TV.
Rigsby: Well...have fun.
Grace: You too. [Leaves the room]
Cho: [to Rigsby] You're gonna die alone.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: You abused a corpse to get a confession.
Jane: Used. Used a corpse. There's no "ab".
Jane: Used. Used a corpse. There's no "ab".
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: I didn’t see it. Of course.
Lisbon: What?
Jane: He’s in love with you.
Lisbon: Don’t be silly.
Jane: I know, hard to fathom, but... uh, there’s no accounting for taste, is there?
Lisbon: [throws a bags of donuts at Jane] Hush.
Lisbon: What?
Jane: He’s in love with you.
Lisbon: Don’t be silly.
Jane: I know, hard to fathom, but... uh, there’s no accounting for taste, is there?
Lisbon: [throws a bags of donuts at Jane] Hush.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: Your finger print is on the magazine of the murder weapon. Tell me why I souldn't be throwing up in the bathroom right now?
Lisbon: It's a lab error. It must be. They're overworked and underfunded. This happened last year with the L.A.P.D. Just have them retest it. Come on! You don't think I did this?
Minelli: What I think is, I'm up to my asterisk in political quicksand.
Lisbon: It's a lab error. It must be. They're overworked and underfunded. This happened last year with the L.A.P.D. Just have them retest it. Come on! You don't think I did this?
Minelli: What I think is, I'm up to my asterisk in political quicksand.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Bosco: You know, for a cop, you made a very convincing lunatic. Jane must be proud.
Lisbon: Maybe it's not good police work, but I have to confess, I enjoyed it. Letting loose for once.
Bosco: Look, I'm glad you got cleared.
Lisbon: I'm sorry that we couldn't let you in on the plan.
Bosco: You could have, but you didn't.
Lisbon: Maybe it's not good police work, but I have to confess, I enjoyed it. Letting loose for once.
Bosco: Look, I'm glad you got cleared.
Lisbon: I'm sorry that we couldn't let you in on the plan.
Bosco: You could have, but you didn't.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Lisbon is in therapy]
Lisbon: I didn't even pull the trigger on Tanner, Jane did. You signed off on him after one session.
Dr. Carmen: He has good mental health.
Lisbon: Now I want to see your license to practice.
Lisbon: I didn't even pull the trigger on Tanner, Jane did. You signed off on him after one session.
Dr. Carmen: He has good mental health.
Lisbon: Now I want to see your license to practice.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Why can't I remember?
Jane: It's interesting isn't it?
Lisbon: Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting.
Jane: Hmm.
Lisbon: [Voice starting to break] Well, you know, th- thanks for trying. You probably have, uh, somewhere you need to go, right?
Jane: Well, I'm not gonna give up that easily.
Lisbon: [Crying] I can count on you not to tell anybody about this, right? On the team?
Jane: Oh, Lisbon, hey.
Lisbon: Jane, I just need you to leave, okay? Could you please go.
Jane: All right. It's...it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine, all right? I promise.
Jane: It's interesting isn't it?
Lisbon: Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting.
Jane: Hmm.
Lisbon: [Voice starting to break] Well, you know, th- thanks for trying. You probably have, uh, somewhere you need to go, right?
Jane: Well, I'm not gonna give up that easily.
Lisbon: [Crying] I can count on you not to tell anybody about this, right? On the team?
Jane: Oh, Lisbon, hey.
Lisbon: Jane, I just need you to leave, okay? Could you please go.
Jane: All right. It's...it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine, all right? I promise.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: I've got six open cases. I'm testifying in two more. I don't have time...
Dr.Carmen: [interrupting] It's not as if you have anything to talk about. (Starts reading her file) Mom dead when you were 12. Three younger brothers. Abusive, alcoholic dad. Now dead also.
Lisbon: It doesn't say abusive.
Dr.Carmen: [looks at her for a few seconds] But he was. Yes.
Lisbon: This coffee tastes like crap. Seriously.
Dr.Carmen: [interrupting] It's not as if you have anything to talk about. (Starts reading her file) Mom dead when you were 12. Three younger brothers. Abusive, alcoholic dad. Now dead also.
Lisbon: It doesn't say abusive.
Dr.Carmen: [looks at her for a few seconds] But he was. Yes.
Lisbon: This coffee tastes like crap. Seriously.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: What if something bad happened and you're blocking it out?
Lisbon: I didn't kill McTeer.
Jane: Well, let me hypnotize you so we can be sure.
Lisbon: No.
Jane: Why not?
Lisbon: Because I don't want you inside my head.
Lisbon: I didn't kill McTeer.
Jane: Well, let me hypnotize you so we can be sure.
Lisbon: No.
Jane: Why not?
Lisbon: Because I don't want you inside my head.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane has hypnotised Lisbon]
Jane: So you're going down the steps, relaxing with each step, and now you reach the bottom, the very last step, the ultimate place of calm. How are you feeling?
Lisbon: Good.
Jane: Good. You're going to remain in this relaxed trance state while we think about Tuesday night. But first, sometimes you dance to that Spice girls CD, don't you?
Lisbon: Yeah. [She smiles with her eyes closed and does a little jiggle in her chair, as if she's playing the music in her head]
Jane: I thought so. [He grins] Now, Tuesday. You can watch whole day like it's a movie. Every detail is in focus. You can zoom into any moment you want. You can fast forward, rewind. You are in total control. Okay?
Lisbon: Okay.
Jane: Good. What do you see?
Lisbon: I'm finishing up the Form 41s on the Milbank case. I feel... hungry, 'cause I skipped lunch. The new guy in the mail room is hot.
Jane: Is he?
Lisbon: Yeah.
Jane: [looks a bit put out] Let's fast forward a little. Later in the day, you're about to leave CBI.
Lisbon: Van Pelt's working late. She's a hard worker. She might do well, if she manages not to sleep with Rigsby.
Jane: So you're going down the steps, relaxing with each step, and now you reach the bottom, the very last step, the ultimate place of calm. How are you feeling?
Lisbon: Good.
Jane: Good. You're going to remain in this relaxed trance state while we think about Tuesday night. But first, sometimes you dance to that Spice girls CD, don't you?
Lisbon: Yeah. [She smiles with her eyes closed and does a little jiggle in her chair, as if she's playing the music in her head]
Jane: I thought so. [He grins] Now, Tuesday. You can watch whole day like it's a movie. Every detail is in focus. You can zoom into any moment you want. You can fast forward, rewind. You are in total control. Okay?
Lisbon: Okay.
Jane: Good. What do you see?
Lisbon: I'm finishing up the Form 41s on the Milbank case. I feel... hungry, 'cause I skipped lunch. The new guy in the mail room is hot.
Jane: Is he?
Lisbon: Yeah.
Jane: [looks a bit put out] Let's fast forward a little. Later in the day, you're about to leave CBI.
Lisbon: Van Pelt's working late. She's a hard worker. She might do well, if she manages not to sleep with Rigsby.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: [talking about Lisbon] You're worried about her. You think she might do something stupid?
Jane: Suicide? No. If she did, she wouldn't blame the bureau.
Minelli: That's not my concern at all!
Jane: Suicide? No. If she did, she wouldn't blame the bureau.
Minelli: That's not my concern at all!
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: So how about you give us a statement; maybe help yourself.
Howard: How 'bout you kiss me. (He leans across the table) You're pretty.
Grace: So are you, [pause, with no change in her facial expression] compared to most state prison inmates.
Howard: How 'bout you kiss me. (He leans across the table) You're pretty.
Grace: So are you, [pause, with no change in her facial expression] compared to most state prison inmates.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Dr. Carmen: What do you do for fun?
Lisbon: Fun?!
Dr. Carmen: That thing when you're not working.
Lisbon: Fun?!
Dr. Carmen: That thing when you're not working.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: [about Nina Hodge] If she followed her husband before, she could have tailed him again and killed him.
Jane: No, she didn't do it. She loved him.
Lisbon: She was a prisoner of her husbands life. She gets rid of him, gets a fresh start.
Jane: People trapped in miserable lives, always talk about escaping. Few actually do it. It's easier just to close your eyes and pretend the misery doesn't exist.
Jane: No, she didn't do it. She loved him.
Lisbon: She was a prisoner of her husbands life. She gets rid of him, gets a fresh start.
Jane: People trapped in miserable lives, always talk about escaping. Few actually do it. It's easier just to close your eyes and pretend the misery doesn't exist.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You know, you're a very good liar. Most people subconsciously signal dishonesty, but you? There's nothing. No inner conflict. Usually, that's the mark of what shrinks like to call a sociopath.
Von McBride: Well, if by "sociopath" you mean that if you cross me, I would enjoy watching you suffer pain before I kill you... then, yeah, I'm a sociopath.
Von McBride: Well, if by "sociopath" you mean that if you cross me, I would enjoy watching you suffer pain before I kill you... then, yeah, I'm a sociopath.
TV Show: The Mentalist