The Mentalist Quotes

Lisbon: Just follow procedure. Have fun!
Jane: Where is the fun in that?

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You and Miss Duane came up here to have sex in the boss's office.
Frank: That is absurd. Why would I do such a stupid thing?
Jane: Because it's forbidden and thus very sexy, of course, especially if you have father issues. And who doesn't? It's furtive but powerful challenge to the paternal authority.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: What's your normal procedure?
Fricke: After lovemaking? Depends on the type of woman.
Lisbon: So you've got it down to a science?
Fricke: I'm good at what I do.
Lisbon: Okay, Mr. Fricke, and what is it that you do?
Fricke: I'm a pickup artist. A woman whisperer, if you will.
Lisbon: A pickup artist? That's your profession?
Fricke: You sound like my mom. Um, it's more of a total lifestyle kind of thing, you know. I practice my art, of course. That's my passion. But I teach and I blog, also. Conduct seminars, workshops, that sort of thing.

TV Show: The Mentalist
[Lisbon nudges Jane, who is lying on the CBI couch, hard]
Jane: What?
Lisbon: You know damn well what. You assaulted a man.
Jane: I just tweaked him on the nose.
Lisbon: Technically, that's assault.
Jane: Technically, he's an ass. He deserved it.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: [observing Cho] Kid's a natural. Look at him. The Cho. No business like Cho business.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Can't sleep alone, huh?
Fricke: Some people use cocoa and a good book. I use beautiful women.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: When did you first meet Paul Fricke?
Woman: At a wine tasting event a friend was throwing.
Cho: And how long were you and he romantically involved?
Woman: Um, three, maybe four hours.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: [about Mr. Wolcutt] He's also the type that would hire other people to do his dirty work.
Cho: Yes, he is. Hitmen aren't cheap and they don't take credit cards.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: You didn't steal jewelery from her?
Natalie: Please. She dresses like a Mormon call girl. I wouldn't wear her jewelery if you paid me.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: There's something on this side of the room you don't want us to find. What is that?
Natalie: Nothing. There's nothing.
Jane: Look me in the eye and say that.
Natalie: Whatever. Search all you want.
Jane: Nah. Too much stuff. Not very tidy. Good in bed, I expect, yeah? Messy women make good lovers.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: What was she thinking? She was so beautiful and he's so creepy.
Rigsby: Yeah, Dr. Rubenstein was hot, too. How does he do it?
Jane: All you need is a basic understanding of the evolutionary psychology of women. Rigorously and fearlessly applied. You get to know what buttons to press.
Lisbon: Like we're toasters?
Grace: Like men don't have buttons, too?
Jane: Men are like toasters. Women...little more like accordions.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: I say we bring him in anyway for creepiness.
Lisbon: Which should be a criminal offense but it isn't.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Do you keep a list of your pick-ups?
Fricke: Yeah, of course. I have it here. Names, numbers and a one to 10 grading system.
Lisbon: Nice. Something to show your grandkids.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Jill Rubenstein, what's your connection with her?
Fricke: The doctor lady? I met her in the parking lot and asked her for help.
Lisbon: A complete stranger takes you to her room, treats your wound and then has sexual intercourse with you?
Fricke: What can I say? The Hippocratic oath is a beautiful thing.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Mr. Wolcutt: I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: [decidedly unimpressed] That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: [He looks Fricke straight in the eyes] Do you know who killed Claire?
Fricke: [Emphatically] No.
Jane: Interesting. He is either a habitual liar telling the truth, or he's an honest man lying.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Victor: I wanna thank you and your team. Although, I must admit that whole scene in front of the house--
Oscar: It was make-believe, dad.
Victor: Sorry. The make-believe was a bit unorthodox and unpleasant, but I'm sure you all know what you're doing.
Lisbon: Most of the time.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: I do hate when people say thank you.
Rigsby: Why?
Lisbon: He likes to play the Lone Ranger. Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him.
Jane: Exactly.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: You think about older women?
Cho: Where's this coming from? I don't think about older women. My mother's an older woman.
Rigsby: Not old, old. Just older, you know, older than you.
Cho: Why are you asking? You're not trying to set me up with somebody, are you?

TV Show: The Mentalist
[Rigsby is looking at a lipstick which is part of the evidence]
Cho: If you're thinking of trying that on, don't. Not your shade.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: Poison and a message in lipstick says this murder was done by a woman. Women have no secrets from other women.
Jane: Well, unless it was a cunning man posing as a woman.
Rigsby: What you think?
Jane: No.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: Judge's clerk says we won't get a search warrant for Scarlett's safe until tomorrow morning, then we'll go in and tear the place apart. [Rigsby gives him a look to remind him that Asra is present] Oh, sorry.
Rigsby: You didn't hear that, it's confidential.
Mandy: Confidential? Oh, of course.
Rigsby: Now seriously, don't tell anyone. Okay?
Mandy: I understand. May I leave now?
Rigsby: Yeah, 'course.
[Asra leaves]
Rigsby: [walks over to Cho] Not bad. Delivery's a little wooden.
Cho: Wooden? Me? Yeah, and you're Marlon Brando.

TV Show: The Mentalist
[After receiving paninis from a suspect]
Cho: What's in the sandwiches?
Rigsby: It's a panini, if you don't mind. It's, er, ham and cheese.
Cho: [as Rigsby takes a bite] And who knows what else?

TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: Boss?
Lisbon: Hmm?
Grace: I've been here nearly six months now, half a year.
Lisbon: What do you want? Half a cake?
Grace: I want to take the lead on this interview.
Lisbon: [she pauses] Okay.
Grace: Okay?
Lisbon: Yeah, sure.
Grace: Thanks, boss.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: This blind thing really works. Without my vision, I can tune into my other senses much more clearly.
Lisbon: That's great. Let me go make you a superhero costume. What do you want to be called?
[Jane puts his hand on her shoulder, and feels up the side of her neck]
Lisbon: What are you doing?
Jane: I wanna know what your face feels like when you’re smiling.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: I’m still convinced there’s a connection between Medina and me, so before you make me that superhero costume I’m looking forward to, could you take me to visit with his widow?
Lisbon: Maybe.
Jane: Thank you. And incidentally, you’re smelling particularly good today. [Lisbon rolls her eyes and walks away] Is that cinnamon in the mix there somewhere? Lisbon? [He reaches out to see if she’s still there]

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: But first, could someone please make me a cup of tea?
[Lisbon, Cho and Van Pelt all get up and walk away]
Jane: Is that a yes? [Sniffs a few times] Rigsby.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Dan Hollenbeck: I didn't know you were from Iowa. Famous potatoes, right?
Grace: That's Idaho you ignorant jerk.
Dan Hollenbeck: Oh, yeah? What's Iowa famous for?
Jane: Gullible women.
Grace: That's not fair.

TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Jane]
Lisbon: He needs to go to a hospital. He has to go if you order him to.
Minelli: I could, but someone did try to kill him, remember? We can protect him better here. At less expense.
Jane: Thanks, Virgil.
Minelli: Okay. But this is a favor. If you die in this department, I'm responsible. I do all the paperwork. In fact if he does die for whatever reason, move him to a public area, would you? I'd be very grateful.
Jane: I hope he's smiling.

TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Holding something of James' would help me pick up a feel for him. Get a sense of his being.
Mrs. Medina: Okay. Excuse me. [She leaves the room]
Jane: Thank you.
Lisbon: "Sense of his being"? What are you playing at?
Jane: Just go with it. I have to practice this touchy-feely stuff. It's been a while.
Lisbon: You're not gonna be blind forever.
Jane: No, right. Because bad stuff like this doesn't happen nearly as often as people think it does.

TV Show: The Mentalist