The Mentalist Quotes
[Lisbon and Rigsby are looking for a suspect at a nightclub]
Club Doorman: You, little miss fierce, can come in. Lose the backup dancer. He's too, too butch.
[Lisbon shows him her badge]
Lisbon: Get lost, fluffy.
Club Doorman: You, little miss fierce, can come in. Lose the backup dancer. He's too, too butch.
[Lisbon shows him her badge]
Lisbon: Get lost, fluffy.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: How long will his vision be affected?
Dr. Fuller: It's hard to say, really. The body's healing powers are unpredictable. But 48 to 72 hours is the norm. We must wait and see, so to speak.
Jane: Ha, humor. Great. Everybody loves a witty doctor in times of trouble.
Dr. Fuller: It's hard to say, really. The body's healing powers are unpredictable. But 48 to 72 hours is the norm. We must wait and see, so to speak.
Jane: Ha, humor. Great. Everybody loves a witty doctor in times of trouble.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Minelli: Another bomb threat. Third this year.
Jane: Not on my phone it isn't.
Minelli: Well, granted they don't usually come through the CBI, but that's what the drills are for.
Jane: The text read, "Are you smart enough to find it?" I think this was directed at me.
Lisbon: Of course you think this is about you.
Jane: Not on my phone it isn't.
Minelli: Well, granted they don't usually come through the CBI, but that's what the drills are for.
Jane: The text read, "Are you smart enough to find it?" I think this was directed at me.
Lisbon: Of course you think this is about you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Grace]
Rigsby: Who kissed her?
Jane: Didn't catch his name.
Rigsby: It's probably that knucklehead from payroll. He's been stalking her like a chicken. What did this man look like?
[Jane get a text on his phone and he leaves in a hurry]
Cho: How do you stalk a chicken?
Rigsby: You know what I'm talking about.
Rigsby: Who kissed her?
Jane: Didn't catch his name.
Rigsby: It's probably that knucklehead from payroll. He's been stalking her like a chicken. What did this man look like?
[Jane get a text on his phone and he leaves in a hurry]
Cho: How do you stalk a chicken?
Rigsby: You know what I'm talking about.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: Hey. Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?
Jane: No.
Grace: Yes, you are.
Jane: They've had enough of me. Officer Powell here was kind enough to give me a ride back.
Grace: Well. Thank you...I guess.
Jane: No.
Grace: Yes, you are.
Jane: They've had enough of me. Officer Powell here was kind enough to give me a ride back.
Grace: Well. Thank you...I guess.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: Jane, I need to ask you a favor. I need you to, uh...I need you to find out from Van Pelt about this guy she's dating. You know, what's the score?
Jane: The score?
Rigsby: Is it serious? Are they, uh, you know?
Jane: Ask her yourself.
Rigsby: Yeah, right. No. Come on. You know the situation. It's against the rules, relationships between coworkers.
Jane: What are you, a man or a mouse?
Rigsby: A man, obviously.
Jane: Could've fooled me.
Rigsby: If it's that guy from payroll, I will kill him.
Jane: Well, that would be a strong, romantic statement. Women like a man that would kill for them. Hey, Van Pelt!
Rigsby: Don't!
Jane: The score?
Rigsby: Is it serious? Are they, uh, you know?
Jane: Ask her yourself.
Rigsby: Yeah, right. No. Come on. You know the situation. It's against the rules, relationships between coworkers.
Jane: What are you, a man or a mouse?
Rigsby: A man, obviously.
Jane: Could've fooled me.
Rigsby: If it's that guy from payroll, I will kill him.
Jane: Well, that would be a strong, romantic statement. Women like a man that would kill for them. Hey, Van Pelt!
Rigsby: Don't!
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Grace, personal question. Rigsby and I were wondering, uh...who is this man you were kissing by the coffee cart?
Grace: That's...that's none of your business.
Jane: Not from payroll?
Grace: Payroll? No, he doesn't even work here. It's none of your business.
Jane: Well, thank heavens for that, at least. No killing needed.
Rigsby: Don't be so sure.
Jane: You'll see. Honesty's best.
Rigsby: Yeah, honestly, I'd like to kick your butt right now.
Grace: That's...that's none of your business.
Jane: Not from payroll?
Grace: Payroll? No, he doesn't even work here. It's none of your business.
Jane: Well, thank heavens for that, at least. No killing needed.
Rigsby: Don't be so sure.
Jane: You'll see. Honesty's best.
Rigsby: Yeah, honestly, I'd like to kick your butt right now.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: What the hell?
Jane: Oh, doctor's orders. She said it was the best thing for me to do, get back to work.
Lisbon: She did not. She said you insulted the entire ward and were a complete pain in the ass.
Jane: Nah. So?
Lisbon: So, you can't do that.
Jane: What was I supposed to do, just sit there and listen to television? Besides, the food was terrible.
Lisbon: You need the rest.
Jane: I need to work.
Lisbon: You're blind.
Jane: It's no problem, honestly. My other senses are heightened. They're super heightened. I'm like Daredevil. Now, if you'll excuse me.
Lisbon: Okay.
[Jane walks off and almost hits a column]
Jane: Ah, heightened.
Jane: Oh, doctor's orders. She said it was the best thing for me to do, get back to work.
Lisbon: She did not. She said you insulted the entire ward and were a complete pain in the ass.
Jane: Nah. So?
Lisbon: So, you can't do that.
Jane: What was I supposed to do, just sit there and listen to television? Besides, the food was terrible.
Lisbon: You need the rest.
Jane: I need to work.
Lisbon: You're blind.
Jane: It's no problem, honestly. My other senses are heightened. They're super heightened. I'm like Daredevil. Now, if you'll excuse me.
Lisbon: Okay.
[Jane walks off and almost hits a column]
Jane: Ah, heightened.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Oh, please don't look at each other like that.
Lisbon: Like what? You can't see.
Jane: I can feel. I can feel your pity.
Lisbon: Like what? You can't see.
Jane: I can feel. I can feel your pity.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: How is he?
Lisbon: Guess what, he's a bad patient.
Cho: Who would've thought.
Jane: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.
Lisbon: Guess what, he's a bad patient.
Cho: Who would've thought.
Jane: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You're very confident of his innocence. How can you be so sure?
Jessie Skelling: Because I asked him if he did it and he said no, he didn't do it.
Jane: You suspected he might indeed have done it. But he denied it. You believe him.
Jessie Skelling: Lee don't lie to me. He'll cause me trouble a hundred which ways, but he don't lie to me.
Jane: Wives often say that about their husbands. Easy to fool yourself that the people you love are honest.
Jessie Skelling: Because I asked him if he did it and he said no, he didn't do it.
Jane: You suspected he might indeed have done it. But he denied it. You believe him.
Jessie Skelling: Lee don't lie to me. He'll cause me trouble a hundred which ways, but he don't lie to me.
Jane: Wives often say that about their husbands. Easy to fool yourself that the people you love are honest.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: I know. I can read your mind.
Jane: Oh, you can?
Lisbon: You're thinking Mr. Skelling is innocent and we should release him. [Calls out to Cho] Cho.
Jane: That's amazing. That's exactly what I was thinking. How do you do that? Let me try. You're thinking, Jane is right, the man is innocent, we should let him go.
Lisbon: No. I think you want him to be innocent because his guilt would be too simple. He has a motive, opportunity and no alibi.
Jane: Yeah.
Jane: Oh, you can?
Lisbon: You're thinking Mr. Skelling is innocent and we should release him. [Calls out to Cho] Cho.
Jane: That's amazing. That's exactly what I was thinking. How do you do that? Let me try. You're thinking, Jane is right, the man is innocent, we should let him go.
Lisbon: No. I think you want him to be innocent because his guilt would be too simple. He has a motive, opportunity and no alibi.
Jane: Yeah.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Any word on Skelling?
Rigsby: Couple potential sightings in the Mount Whitney area. Locals and park services are all over it. We'll get him
Jane: I doubt it. Skelling's in his element up there. His survivalist fantasy come true. He's gone aground like a grizzly bear.
Rigsby: Couple potential sightings in the Mount Whitney area. Locals and park services are all over it. We'll get him
Jane: I doubt it. Skelling's in his element up there. His survivalist fantasy come true. He's gone aground like a grizzly bear.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: There is an explosive device of some kind under your bed.
Mr. Faulk: Oh my god. [He starts to get up from his bed]
Lisbon: Wait.
Mr. Faulk: Wait?
Lisbon: Just let me get a better look. [Looks under the bed] No, I don't think there's a pressure trigger. You can get up now.
Mr. Faulk: You don't think?
Lisbon: I'm sure it doesn't. Timer's set to go off in 10 minutes, so we have plenty of time. If you'll just get out of the bed slowly. We don't wanna jar the device in anyway.
Jane: Boom!
[Both Lisbon and Faulk look at him startled]
Lisbon: For God's sakes!
Jane: Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Mr. Faulk: Oh my god. [He starts to get up from his bed]
Lisbon: Wait.
Mr. Faulk: Wait?
Lisbon: Just let me get a better look. [Looks under the bed] No, I don't think there's a pressure trigger. You can get up now.
Mr. Faulk: You don't think?
Lisbon: I'm sure it doesn't. Timer's set to go off in 10 minutes, so we have plenty of time. If you'll just get out of the bed slowly. We don't wanna jar the device in anyway.
Jane: Boom!
[Both Lisbon and Faulk look at him startled]
Lisbon: For God's sakes!
Jane: Sorry, I couldn't resist.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Mr. Faulk: You have no legal proof whatsoever.
Jane: Meh. Legal proof will be found, no doubt, but personally I don't need it. I just like to know that I'm right.
Jane: Meh. Legal proof will be found, no doubt, but personally I don't need it. I just like to know that I'm right.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[It's dark outside, Jane is driving and Lisbon is sitting next to him with her eyes closed]
Jane: Talk to me.
Lisbon: Do I have to?
Jane: No, I can just fall asleep and we can drift into oncoming traffic. Your call.
Lisbon: [She opens her eyes and sighs] Have you seen any good movies lately?
Jane: No. You?
Lisbon: No.
Jane: Interesting.
Jane: Talk to me.
Lisbon: Do I have to?
Jane: No, I can just fall asleep and we can drift into oncoming traffic. Your call.
Lisbon: [She opens her eyes and sighs] Have you seen any good movies lately?
Jane: No. You?
Lisbon: No.
Jane: Interesting.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: You threw a cat, all right. What valuable insight did you glean as a result?
Jane: Nothing. It's a little disappointing.
Lisbon: Well, maybe, just maybe, this case is exactly what it looks like. Bitter unsubs with a grudge against the fat cats.
Jane: Nice drive though.
Lisbon: Nice three hour drive.
Jane: Nothing. It's a little disappointing.
Lisbon: Well, maybe, just maybe, this case is exactly what it looks like. Bitter unsubs with a grudge against the fat cats.
Jane: Nice drive though.
Lisbon: Nice three hour drive.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: We should talk to the Carnelian executives again. Throw a cat among the pigeons.
Lisbon: You think? Why?
Jane: What if this is not what it looks like it's about. What if it's something else entirely.
Lisbon: Like?
Jane: I don't know.
Lisbon: So you're suggesting we throw a blind cat among the pigeons?
Jane: Yeah.
Lisbon: No.
[Jane laughs and leaves her office]
Lisbon: You think? Why?
Jane: What if this is not what it looks like it's about. What if it's something else entirely.
Lisbon: Like?
Jane: I don't know.
Lisbon: So you're suggesting we throw a blind cat among the pigeons?
Jane: Yeah.
Lisbon: No.
[Jane laughs and leaves her office]
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jessie Skelling: I can't even look at you people, you make me so mad. Lee's done nothing. Nothing.
Jane: Jessie, if your husband is innocent then we're your best friends. We'll prove he's innocent. Will you help us?
Jane: Jessie, if your husband is innocent then we're your best friends. We'll prove he's innocent. Will you help us?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Jessie Skelling?
Jessie Skelling: No, I'm Cindy Crawford. Jessie's on vacation in Mexico.
Jessie Skelling: No, I'm Cindy Crawford. Jessie's on vacation in Mexico.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Mr. Faulk: David would want us to continue.
Mr. Breamer: Yes, he would. Yes, he would. David would never back down.
Jane: David wouldn't want you to respectfully acknowledge his tragic and untimely death? Oh, well, okay. He wouldn't want it to interfere with your kayaking schedule.
Mr. Breamer: Yes, he would. Yes, he would. David would never back down.
Jane: David wouldn't want you to respectfully acknowledge his tragic and untimely death? Oh, well, okay. He wouldn't want it to interfere with your kayaking schedule.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Wait. I think we should wait.
Lisbon: What for? What could possibly happen?
Jane: I have no idea, but it's a pleasant spot, and I have sandwiches.
Lisbon: What for? What could possibly happen?
Jane: I have no idea, but it's a pleasant spot, and I have sandwiches.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Where is it?
Lisbon: Mojave Desert. Middle of nowhere. Quarter of a mile from the highway.
Jane: Interesting.
Lisbon: Boring. Three hours away.
Jane: Desert's beautiful this time of year. Let's all go. We can bring a picnic lunch.
Lisbon: Someone has to stay and answer the phones.
[Grace sits down at her desk, disappointed as everyone else leaves the room]
Lisbon: Mojave Desert. Middle of nowhere. Quarter of a mile from the highway.
Jane: Interesting.
Lisbon: Boring. Three hours away.
Jane: Desert's beautiful this time of year. Let's all go. We can bring a picnic lunch.
Lisbon: Someone has to stay and answer the phones.
[Grace sits down at her desk, disappointed as everyone else leaves the room]
TV Show: The Mentalist
[A guy is walking around the CBI office with a paper in his hand]
Cho: He's from the A.G's office. We're catching a hot one.
Jane: Hooray. I was about to go mad with boredom.
Grace: Don't say hooray. Someone's died.
Jane: Well, if they have, my happiness makes no difference to them.
Grace: Nor does catching their killer for that matter.
Jane: True, but it makes a difference to the killer.
Cho: He's from the A.G's office. We're catching a hot one.
Jane: Hooray. I was about to go mad with boredom.
Grace: Don't say hooray. Someone's died.
Jane: Well, if they have, my happiness makes no difference to them.
Grace: Nor does catching their killer for that matter.
Jane: True, but it makes a difference to the killer.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[In the Mojave Desert]
Jane: Look what I found.
Lisbon: What is it?
Jane: It's a worm, fossilized worm.
Lisbon: I'm happy for you.
Cho: Alright, this is it. This is the spot.
Rigsby: 11: 04 and change. Right on time.
Lisbon: For what?
Cho: There's still 15 seconds to go.
Jane: You know, when this worm was alive, this whole desert was the floor of a great sea. There were dinosaurs swimming above us.
Rigsby: That is kind of awesome.
Jane: Yeah.
[Jane throws the worm to Cho]
Jane: Sharks the size of buses, brilliantly colored sea monsters. Those mountains, they would have been volcanoes.
[Cho examines the worm]
Cho: This is a goat turd about six months old.
Jane: Look what I found.
Lisbon: What is it?
Jane: It's a worm, fossilized worm.
Lisbon: I'm happy for you.
Cho: Alright, this is it. This is the spot.
Rigsby: 11: 04 and change. Right on time.
Lisbon: For what?
Cho: There's still 15 seconds to go.
Jane: You know, when this worm was alive, this whole desert was the floor of a great sea. There were dinosaurs swimming above us.
Rigsby: That is kind of awesome.
Jane: Yeah.
[Jane throws the worm to Cho]
Jane: Sharks the size of buses, brilliantly colored sea monsters. Those mountains, they would have been volcanoes.
[Cho examines the worm]
Cho: This is a goat turd about six months old.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Really, you don't trust me?
Lisbon: Of course not. How many times have you lied to me, misled me, tricked me? Is that trust? No.
Jane: Well, we have to remedy this. Let's do a trust fall.
Lisbon: A trust fall?
Jane: Yeah. I'm sure you did one on your CBI retreat. It's when you turn around and fall backward, and I catch you.
Lisbon: Oh, yes, we did do that.
Jane: Mm-hmmm.
Lisbon: No.
Jane: You won't?
Lisbon: We have a long drive still.
Jane: Ah. Here we have two co-workers recognizing the boundaries of their professional relationship. See, you want to trust me, but there's something holding you back.
Lisbon: Yes. You're untrustworthy. It's my job not to trust you.
Jane: Lisbon, I want you to know that you can trust me. No matter what happens, I will be there for you. I will. I need you to know that.
Lisbon: Of course not. How many times have you lied to me, misled me, tricked me? Is that trust? No.
Jane: Well, we have to remedy this. Let's do a trust fall.
Lisbon: A trust fall?
Jane: Yeah. I'm sure you did one on your CBI retreat. It's when you turn around and fall backward, and I catch you.
Lisbon: Oh, yes, we did do that.
Jane: Mm-hmmm.
Lisbon: No.
Jane: You won't?
Lisbon: We have a long drive still.
Jane: Ah. Here we have two co-workers recognizing the boundaries of their professional relationship. See, you want to trust me, but there's something holding you back.
Lisbon: Yes. You're untrustworthy. It's my job not to trust you.
Jane: Lisbon, I want you to know that you can trust me. No matter what happens, I will be there for you. I will. I need you to know that.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: What's in the bag?
Jane: Oh. A picnic lunch.
Lisbon: What's in the bag?
Jane: A bomb.
Lisbon: Ha ha ha. What's in the bag? Seriously.
Jane: Seriously. A bomb.
Jane: Oh. A picnic lunch.
Lisbon: What's in the bag?
Jane: A bomb.
Lisbon: Ha ha ha. What's in the bag? Seriously.
Jane: Seriously. A bomb.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: He's lying.
Jane: Is he?
Rigsby: Given that the girl he dragged in is not actually a bag of spuds like he says, then yeah.
Jane: It's not lying if he believes it.
Rigsby: True.
Jane: Is he?
Rigsby: Given that the girl he dragged in is not actually a bag of spuds like he says, then yeah.
Jane: It's not lying if he believes it.
Rigsby: True.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: Yeah, you took down a 100-pound woman. Put in that context, you did good.
Rigsby: What do you mean, in that context?
Lisbon: In the context of someone letting himself get hypnotized, nearly throwing his colleague off a building and then finally being able to overpower a small, crazy woman to retrieve the situation, you did good.
Rigsby: What do you mean, in that context?
Lisbon: In the context of someone letting himself get hypnotized, nearly throwing his colleague off a building and then finally being able to overpower a small, crazy woman to retrieve the situation, you did good.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: We better go pick up Daniel.
Jane: If we walk, you can burn some case-closed pizza calories.
Lisbon: Ha, ha. Cute.
Jane: If we walk, you can burn some case-closed pizza calories.
Lisbon: Ha, ha. Cute.
TV Show: The Mentalist