The Mentalist Quotes
Lisbon: [To Patrick] Your people are carnie folk, it's finally making sense to me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: [To Lisbon] Why do we get so hung up on every little law everyone breaks?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Rigsby: All I'm saying, you can't say there's no such thing as a psychic just because you've never met one.
Cho: You're right. I've never seen a zebra, doesn't mean they don't exist.
Rigsby: Never seen a zebra?
Cho: Nah.
Rigsby: Never been to a zoo?
Cho: Yeah I don't get zoos. You pay money to look at animals, why?
Cho: You're right. I've never seen a zebra, doesn't mean they don't exist.
Rigsby: Never seen a zebra?
Cho: Nah.
Rigsby: Never been to a zoo?
Cho: Yeah I don't get zoos. You pay money to look at animals, why?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Play nice, Van Pelt's entitled to her opinion.
Jane: Not if it's wrong. This is like believing in the Easter Bunny.
Rigsby: Who said there's no Easter Bunny?
Jane: Not if it's wrong. This is like believing in the Easter Bunny.
Rigsby: Who said there's no Easter Bunny?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Calling? Is that what this is?
Kristina Frye: Yeah. Calling. Gift if you like, there's no doubt you have it. Why'd you give it up?
Jane: It was the suits. Chaffing. Horrible.
Kristina Frye: Yeah. Calling. Gift if you like, there's no doubt you have it. Why'd you give it up?
Jane: It was the suits. Chaffing. Horrible.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Nice cradling.
Travis: Play lacrosse?
Jane: No. Fast moving sticks scare me.
Travis: Play lacrosse?
Jane: No. Fast moving sticks scare me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Kristina: I talked to your wife...[Patrick begins to stop her] ah, ah... [Kristina pauses] Ever since your wife and daughter were killed, there's a question about that night's events that's been tormenting you, yes? Yes?
Jane: Yes.
Kristina: Your wife wants me to tell you that your daughter never woke up. She didn't know what happened. She wasn't scared, not even for a second.
Jane: Are you done channeling? That's it?
Kristina: That's it.
[Jane looks away]
Jane: [Curtly] Thanks.
Kristina: Goodbye, Mr. Jane.
Jane: Yes.
Kristina: Your wife wants me to tell you that your daughter never woke up. She didn't know what happened. She wasn't scared, not even for a second.
Jane: Are you done channeling? That's it?
Kristina: That's it.
[Jane looks away]
Jane: [Curtly] Thanks.
Kristina: Goodbye, Mr. Jane.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: I don't like it.
Rigsby: Me neither. What's the alternative?
Grace: It's immoral.
Rigsby: I don't know about that. Say your brain gets cooked if you use 'em a lot. Make you infertile, too.
Grace: What are you talking about?
Rigsby: Microwaves. What are you talking about?
Grace: The séance this evening!
Rigsby: We were looking at the microwave!
Rigsby: Me neither. What's the alternative?
Grace: It's immoral.
Rigsby: I don't know about that. Say your brain gets cooked if you use 'em a lot. Make you infertile, too.
Grace: What are you talking about?
Rigsby: Microwaves. What are you talking about?
Grace: The séance this evening!
Rigsby: We were looking at the microwave!
TV Show: The Mentalist
[As the Psychic is discussing a séance and Jane demanding Rosemary's presence]
Kristina: She's a departed soul, not a wedding singer. You can't book her in advance.
Kristina: She's a departed soul, not a wedding singer. You can't book her in advance.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: They think you killed their mother.
Jeremy: Well, they don't know anything about me. I loved her.
Lisbon: Of course you did. That's why you gave Rosemary's necklace to your hot new girlfriend.
Jeremy: Well, it's no good to Rosemary, is it? So shoot me, I'm a pragmatist.
Lisbon: That's a good word.
Jeremy: Well, they don't know anything about me. I loved her.
Lisbon: Of course you did. That's why you gave Rosemary's necklace to your hot new girlfriend.
Jeremy: Well, it's no good to Rosemary, is it? So shoot me, I'm a pragmatist.
Lisbon: That's a good word.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: [Talking about Kristina] Excuse me, but you might consider the possibility that she's actually honestly in touch with something beyond your understanding.
Jane: That would be golf and musical theater of the 30s and 40s.
Jane: That would be golf and musical theater of the 30s and 40s.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: So you have done some research on me.
Kristina: I have now. Red John murdered your family. I'm very sorry for your loss. Is that why you gave up your calling?
Jane: Calling? Is that what this is?
Kristina: Yeah. Calling, gift, as you like. There's no doubt that you have it. Why did you give it up?
Jane: It's the suits. Chafing. Horrible.
Kristina: I have now. Red John murdered your family. I'm very sorry for your loss. Is that why you gave up your calling?
Jane: Calling? Is that what this is?
Kristina: Yeah. Calling, gift, as you like. There's no doubt that you have it. Why did you give it up?
Jane: It's the suits. Chafing. Horrible.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane has stated that he can always tell when Lisbon is lying]
Jane: Where're we going?
Lisbon: To the zoo. They have new tiger cubs.
Jane: Oh. Liar.
Lisbon: Oh, very good.
Jane: Where're we going?
Lisbon: To the zoo. They have new tiger cubs.
Jane: Oh. Liar.
Lisbon: Oh, very good.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Cho: Let's do this right. Go in too quickly, someone will get hurt.
Presiado: This is real police work, sonny, people get hurt. Go push some paper.
Presiado: This is real police work, sonny, people get hurt. Go push some paper.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Nice to be nice. But if you wanna get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.
Van Pelt: Gee, thanks.
Van Pelt: Gee, thanks.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Dale Blakely punches Jane in the face]
Lisbon: You okay?
Jane: Assault, assault!
Lisbon: I would rethink this new technique of yours.
Jane: [Holding his nose] Yeah. Yeah, I can't disagree.
Lisbon: You okay?
Jane: Assault, assault!
Lisbon: I would rethink this new technique of yours.
Jane: [Holding his nose] Yeah. Yeah, I can't disagree.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: It's funny what bad liars cops are. I guess they're not used to concealing themselves under questioning.
Lisbon: I'm a cop and I lie to you all the time, you never catch it.
Jane: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're translucent, my dear. I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad.
Lisbon: Name one time.
Jane: Last thanksgiving you said you were going back East to your brother's house, but I knew you actually planned to have three days at home alone to watch old movies and eat ice cream.
Lisbon: Okay, so that's one time.
Lisbon: I'm a cop and I lie to you all the time, you never catch it.
Jane: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're translucent, my dear. I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad.
Lisbon: Name one time.
Jane: Last thanksgiving you said you were going back East to your brother's house, but I knew you actually planned to have three days at home alone to watch old movies and eat ice cream.
Lisbon: Okay, so that's one time.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Dale Blakely]
Jane: He's not gonna talk. Poor soul.
Lisbon: He made his bed. He can lie in it.
Jane: You know, I never understood that one. Just because someone makes their bed, why do they have to lie in it? What's to stop them from lying in another bed? Or on the floor for that matter.
Jane: He's not gonna talk. Poor soul.
Lisbon: He made his bed. He can lie in it.
Jane: You know, I never understood that one. Just because someone makes their bed, why do they have to lie in it? What's to stop them from lying in another bed? Or on the floor for that matter.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: When are you gonna learn to cool it without being told?
Jane: Oh, come on. They pissed you off, too, the sexist pigs.
Lisbon: They were.
Jane: I just said they were.
Lisbon: You were saying it ironically.
Jane: Oh, come on. They pissed you off, too, the sexist pigs.
Lisbon: They were.
Jane: I just said they were.
Lisbon: You were saying it ironically.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Presiado: [to Rigsby] Are you guys gonna help or are you gonna stand there and pick your nose?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Is this the only .38 in your possession?
[Jane grabs Presiado's wrist]
Presiado: Yes it is. [To Jane] And if you try to hold my hand again I'm gonna tear your arm off and beat you unconscious with it. Get me?
Jane: Got you.
[Jane grabs Presiado's wrist]
Presiado: Yes it is. [To Jane] And if you try to hold my hand again I'm gonna tear your arm off and beat you unconscious with it. Get me?
Jane: Got you.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: It's all about the balance, Grace. Yin - Yang, nice - bitch. A little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: We've never discussed this because I thought it went without saying, but when I catch Red John, I'm gonna cut him open and watch him die slowly like he did with my wife and child. [Lisbon just stares at him quietly] If you have a problem with that, we should talk.
Lisbon: Then let's talk. Because when we catch Red John, we are gonna take him into custody and he's gonna be tried in a court of law.
Jane: Not if I'm still breathing.
Lisbon: If you try and do violence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.
Jane: I understand.
Lisbon: I hope so.
Jane: Well, I'm glad we talked. I had no idea you were so bourgeois and conventional on the issue.
Lisbon: Then let's talk. Because when we catch Red John, we are gonna take him into custody and he's gonna be tried in a court of law.
Jane: Not if I'm still breathing.
Lisbon: If you try and do violence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.
Jane: I understand.
Lisbon: I hope so.
Jane: Well, I'm glad we talked. I had no idea you were so bourgeois and conventional on the issue.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: What do you think?
Jane: Oh, he's lying. They had an argument. You go out to celebrate with the man that financed your movie and only pay half the dinner bill?
Jane: Oh, he's lying. They had an argument. You go out to celebrate with the man that financed your movie and only pay half the dinner bill?
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Do you own a gun, Gabriel?
Gabriel Fanning: No. I like guns, but I'm afraid of blowing my own head off.
Gabriel Fanning: No. I like guns, but I'm afraid of blowing my own head off.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about releasing Ben Machado from custody]
Jane: If he's here, how is the killer gonna get to him?
Lisbon: He could be the killer. Even if he's not, we don't want the killer to get him.
Jane: Yes, we do. Machado is our bait. He's our tethered goat.
Lisbon: And too bad if the bait gets killed?
Jane: Well, yes. That's why you use goats and not babies or virgins for that matter.
Lisbon: Machado's not a goat.
Jane: You're right, he's not actually a goat. He's goatish. He deserves to suffer.
Lisbon: Nobody deserves murder.
Jane: Machado helped burn Dave Martin alive out of greed.
Lisbon: Jane, we're officers of the law.
Jane: You are. I don't care about the law. I care about justice, and justice says Machado deserves to suffer.
Lisbon: That's not justice, it's vengeance.
Jane: What's the difference?
Jane: If he's here, how is the killer gonna get to him?
Lisbon: He could be the killer. Even if he's not, we don't want the killer to get him.
Jane: Yes, we do. Machado is our bait. He's our tethered goat.
Lisbon: And too bad if the bait gets killed?
Jane: Well, yes. That's why you use goats and not babies or virgins for that matter.
Lisbon: Machado's not a goat.
Jane: You're right, he's not actually a goat. He's goatish. He deserves to suffer.
Lisbon: Nobody deserves murder.
Jane: Machado helped burn Dave Martin alive out of greed.
Lisbon: Jane, we're officers of the law.
Jane: You are. I don't care about the law. I care about justice, and justice says Machado deserves to suffer.
Lisbon: That's not justice, it's vengeance.
Jane: What's the difference?
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane barely gets out of a burning barn]
Jane: That was close. Where were you guys?
Rigsby: We called in to check out a lead.
Cho: Yeah, Lisbon didn't know you were about to pull an idiotic stunt, sorry.
Jane: No hard feelings.
Jane: That was close. Where were you guys?
Rigsby: We called in to check out a lead.
Cho: Yeah, Lisbon didn't know you were about to pull an idiotic stunt, sorry.
Jane: No hard feelings.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Seems like this whole thing has changed your mind about vengeance.
Jane: Has it?
Lisbon: "Revenge is for fools and madmen"?
Jane: Yeah, that was rather good, I thought. Total nonsense, but quite good nonetheless.
Jane: Has it?
Lisbon: "Revenge is for fools and madmen"?
Jane: Yeah, that was rather good, I thought. Total nonsense, but quite good nonetheless.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: Where do you get off giving orders in the first place? I say who goes and who stays, not you.
Jane: Well, that's, uh, fiery but calm. Very good. Why don't you try it with a more forceful hand gesture, like... [he demonstrates...] I say who goes and who stays, not you.
Lisbon: I'm serious.
Jane: Well, that's, uh, fiery but calm. Very good. Why don't you try it with a more forceful hand gesture, like... [he demonstrates...] I say who goes and who stays, not you.
Lisbon: I'm serious.
TV Show: The Mentalist