SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward. We all came as soon as we were sure you were dead.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Mr. Krabs suggests that Pearl take SpongeBob to the prom]
Pearl: Aah! The fry cook! Do you know what that would do to my complexion? People will mistake me for a planetarium!
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?
Pearl: I...don't...know! But I can't take him, Daddy. They'll kick me out of the Most-Frequently-Pictured-in-the-Yearbook Committee.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, they would.
Pearl: Aah! The fry cook! Do you know what that would do to my complexion? People will mistake me for a planetarium!
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?
Pearl: I...don't...know! But I can't take him, Daddy. They'll kick me out of the Most-Frequently-Pictured-in-the-Yearbook Committee.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, they would.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what's wrong with Pearl?
Mr. Krabs: Her scurvy prom date stood her up, boy, and now she can't seem to find another.
Pearl: That's because there's only one fish in the sea as long, tan, and handsome as he is, and that's him!
Mr. Krabs: Her scurvy prom date stood her up, boy, and now she can't seem to find another.
Pearl: That's because there's only one fish in the sea as long, tan, and handsome as he is, and that's him!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Oh, Gary, I'm a prom failure. I couldn't even get a date for my own junior prom.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: No, that was Patrick who brought his Mom.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: No, that was Patrick who brought his Mom.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Pearl and SpongeBob get kicked out of the gym where the prom is being held after they make a total mess of everything]
Teenage Fish: Go wreck someone else's prom, will ya?
Teenage Fish: Go wreck someone else's prom, will ya?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Spongebob and Pearl are standing together outside Pearl's house, when suddenly Mr. Krabs bursts through the front door with a giant rake]
Mr. Krabs: A-HA! Keep away from me precious little flower! [approaching a sea flower in his garden] You almost stepped on it.
Mr. Krabs: A-HA! Keep away from me precious little flower! [approaching a sea flower in his garden] You almost stepped on it.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [after the Flying Dutchman runs away in fear, SpongeBob is shown entirely shaved, exposing his brain] Hey! What do you know? I scared him! [laughs]
[Everyone else runs out of the Krusty Krab, screaming]
SpongeBob: [walking outside with Patrick] It worked Patrick, I scared everybody!
Patrick: Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
SpongeBob: Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat, that's my brain.
Patrick: Oh... [runs away screaming too]
SpongeBob: Don't worry, it grows back!
[Everyone else runs out of the Krusty Krab, screaming]
SpongeBob: [walking outside with Patrick] It worked Patrick, I scared everybody!
Patrick: Yeah, I guess it was your pink hat.
SpongeBob: Pink hat? Oh, that's not a hat, that's my brain.
Patrick: Oh... [runs away screaming too]
SpongeBob: Don't worry, it grows back!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: [rushed] I was in the future and then I was in the past, and then I was nowhere, and... You don't know how happy I am to see you guys!
SpongeBob: Does this mean you wanna go...jellyfishing?
Squidward: NO! Sheesh, who was the barnaclehead that invented that game anyway?
SpongeBob & Patrick: You are, Squidward! [laughs]
Squidward: ...I'm going back.
SpongeBob: Does this mean you wanna go...jellyfishing?
Squidward: NO! Sheesh, who was the barnaclehead that invented that game anyway?
SpongeBob & Patrick: You are, Squidward! [laughs]
Squidward: ...I'm going back.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Narrator: Squidward is about to practice his clarinet, so get your earplugs ready.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: Are the other letters of the alphabet involved here?
SpongeTron: Yep. All 486 of them.
Squidward: [lies down on the floor and starts spasming] FU-TURE! FU-TURE! FU-TURE!
SpongeTron: Yep. All 486 of them.
Squidward: [lies down on the floor and starts spasming] FU-TURE! FU-TURE! FU-TURE!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Hot Sauce Drop: By the powers of naughtiness, I command this particular drop of hot sauce to be really, really hot!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: SpongeBob, did you get the bathrooms mopped yet?
SpongeBob: Yes ma'am. I mean sir. I mean boss. I mean Poobah!
Squidward: GOOOOOOOOO!
SpongeBob: Yes ma'am. I mean sir. I mean boss. I mean Poobah!
Squidward: GOOOOOOOOO!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?
SpongeBob: No, sir. Just practicing my karate, sir. Or kare-ah-tay, as some like to call it.
Mr. Krabs: Kare-ah-tay? You should be making me money-ay! With your spatu-lay! Now get back to work!
SpongeBob: Aye-aye, Capi-tay!
SpongeBob: No, sir. Just practicing my karate, sir. Or kare-ah-tay, as some like to call it.
Mr. Krabs: Kare-ah-tay? You should be making me money-ay! With your spatu-lay! Now get back to work!
SpongeBob: Aye-aye, Capi-tay!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: I love karate!
SpongeBob: I love Kare-ah-tay!
Mr. Krabs: I love money-ay!
Squidward: I hate all of you.
SpongeBob: I love Kare-ah-tay!
Mr. Krabs: I love money-ay!
Squidward: I hate all of you.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Thought you could sneak up on me at work, did you? Well, you can't! Because I'm fast, I'm mean, and I can do this! [swivels hands around, hisses, and walks away] Took care of her, yes I did. [runs into Mr. Krabs] Uh, ahoy, sir!
Mr. Krabs: What was that?
SpongeBob: But sir, she snuck up on me. In my own dojo!
Mr. Krabs: What was that?
SpongeBob: But sir, she snuck up on me. In my own dojo!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: I know! We can pretend to be plants! [lies down on his back and pretents to be a plant] Photosynthesis, photosynthesis, photosynthesis...
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: ...pile of cans? Mmm-mmm, Sandy, that is your worst disguise yet.
Sandy: No it's not, SpongeBob. [shows a squirrel mask] This is!
Sandy: No it's not, SpongeBob. [shows a squirrel mask] This is!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Hey Sandy, have you heard the one about the squirrel and the tin cans?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
The King: [in Squidward's dream] I came here to hear beautiful music! If I don't get my wish, it'll be your head!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Gee, Gary, you sure are smart.
Gary: Did you think my shell was full of hot air?
Gary: Did you think my shell was full of hot air?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Gary: [in his dream] "Let me not mar that perfect dream by an auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again." Emily Dickinson wrote that.
SpongeBob: Who?
SpongeBob: Who?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Gary: [to SpongeBob as he is heading out of his dream] Beware of your wandering eye, you little poriferan!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
The King: [to SpongeBob in Squidward's dream] Oh, do tell me the one about the man from Peru again!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[The entire audience listens to SpongeBob's horrible singing with tears in their eyes]
Spectator: [dabbing at his moist eyes with a hanky] This music touches me ever so, that I fear my tears might stain my petticoat.
Spectator: [dabbing at his moist eyes with a hanky] This music touches me ever so, that I fear my tears might stain my petticoat.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!
SpongeBob: [offscreen] Yipee! I'm rich Patrick, look, eight gold doubloons!
Mr. Krabs: Waaait! I saw it fiiirrrst! [leaps through the air] Yaah! [lands on the table where SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a game] Mine! Mine! Mine! [realizing] Huh?
SpongeBob: Boy Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.
SpongeBob: [offscreen] Yipee! I'm rich Patrick, look, eight gold doubloons!
Mr. Krabs: Waaait! I saw it fiiirrrst! [leaps through the air] Yaah! [lands on the table where SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a game] Mine! Mine! Mine! [realizing] Huh?
SpongeBob: Boy Mr. Krabs, you sure are sweaty.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [reading a game board card] Someone's been a bad pirate. Send them to the brig. Hmmmm... It's off to jail for you, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fired.
Patrick: But I don't even work here!
Mr. Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? [puts a Krusty Krab hat on Patrick's head]
Patrick: Boy, would I!
Mr. Krabs: You're fired. [takes hat away]
Mr. Krabs: Patrick, you're fired.
Patrick: But I don't even work here!
Mr. Krabs: Would you like a job, starting now? [puts a Krusty Krab hat on Patrick's head]
Patrick: Boy, would I!
Mr. Krabs: You're fired. [takes hat away]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants