Robot Chicken Quotes
Pikachu: Pikachu!
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff!
Pikachu: [defeats Jigglypuff with a Thunderbolt] Chu chu chu! Pika pika!
Ash: Back in your Poké Ball, Pikachu. [Pikachu goes back inside its Poké Ball]
Misty: I wonder what it's like inside those Poké Balls?
Ash: I wonder when you'll shut up and make my dinner!
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff!
Pikachu: [defeats Jigglypuff with a Thunderbolt] Chu chu chu! Pika pika!
Ash: Back in your Poké Ball, Pikachu. [Pikachu goes back inside its Poké Ball]
Misty: I wonder what it's like inside those Poké Balls?
Ash: I wonder when you'll shut up and make my dinner!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Gary: Would you ready to battle, Ass?
Ash: [growls] My name is Ash! Pikachu, I choose you! [echoes Pikachu, I choose you! You! You! You!]
Ash: [growls] My name is Ash! Pikachu, I choose you! [echoes Pikachu, I choose you! You! You! You!]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[Charizard roars]
Ash: Go get 'em, Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pikachu. (Subtitle) Douche.
Ash: Go get 'em, Pikachu!
Pikachu: Pikachu. (Subtitle) Douche.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Leonardo: Oh, no! I just cowabunga'd in my pants!
Raphael: Barfaroonie! I hope you're wearing adult undergarments!
Leonardo: It depends!
Raphael: Barfaroonie! I hope you're wearing adult undergarments!
Leonardo: It depends!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Michelangelo: Dudes, where's Splinter?
[Splinter is using his cane to lift a nurse's skirt]
Nurse: Um, what are you doing?
Splinter: Looking for Shredder. No, not here. [smiles]
[Splinter is using his cane to lift a nurse's skirt]
Nurse: Um, what are you doing?
Splinter: Looking for Shredder. No, not here. [smiles]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Future Guy: Uh, excuse me, what year is this?
Guy: Uh, 2006.
Future Guy: 2006 haha oh man. Good luck buddy.
Guy: Uh, 2006.
Future Guy: 2006 haha oh man. Good luck buddy.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Elmer Phudd: I'm takin' you to school, call me the professor
You're sexually confused, 'cause you a cross-dresser.
You like to kiss men, that's real funny.
Call up Hugh Hefner, you a gay boy bunny.
Master of the stage. You need a map junkie.
You made a wrong left turn on Albuquerque.
I'm a pimp because my hunting apparel's hot son.
It was wiped by on your ho with my double barrel shotgun. [Really shoots B Rabbit with his double barrel shotgun]
You're sexually confused, 'cause you a cross-dresser.
You like to kiss men, that's real funny.
Call up Hugh Hefner, you a gay boy bunny.
Master of the stage. You need a map junkie.
You made a wrong left turn on Albuquerque.
I'm a pimp because my hunting apparel's hot son.
It was wiped by on your ho with my double barrel shotgun. [Really shoots B Rabbit with his double barrel shotgun]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Daffy Duck: Now hold on a second, man! It's not rabbit hunting season yet! See! [[Pints at the sign that says "Wabbit Season (Not Yet)"] Okay! [Gives the mic to B Rabbit] Your turn, B Rabbit!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
B Rabbit: Yeah, yeah. I know that you call me wascawwy wabbit.
Say your R's like W's that's a really bad habit.
It's room, not woom. Trees, not twees.
You replace so many R's, I thought you was Chinese.
You're so stuck on yourself, I'll call you Elmer's glue.
I got you some coffee, one lump or two?
Say your R's like W's that's a really bad habit.
It's room, not woom. Trees, not twees.
You replace so many R's, I thought you was Chinese.
You're so stuck on yourself, I'll call you Elmer's glue.
I got you some coffee, one lump or two?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
B Rabbit: I only dress like a girl, just to prove that you're gay.
Would you like a kiss handsome?
Would you like a kiss handsome?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
B Rabbit: Elmer packs "fudd". You heard what I said.
He's so bald, I'll put a "hare" on his head. [B Rabbit sits on Phudd's head]
I'll sit down on your head. Just like I was a thinker. Hmm.
[He farts while sitting down on his head] Ain't I a stinker?
He's so bald, I'll put a "hare" on his head. [B Rabbit sits on Phudd's head]
I'll sit down on your head. Just like I was a thinker. Hmm.
[He farts while sitting down on his head] Ain't I a stinker?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Frank: Did you finish that marketing proposal?
Jim: Nope.
Frank: I told you to give it to me today.
Jim: I could've sworn you said Thursday.
Frank: No, I said Wednesday.
Jim: I don't think so, Thursday!
Frank: Wednesday, douchebag!
Jim: Thursday, assface!
Frank: Wednesday, you fucking idiot!!
Boss: What is going on here?!
Frank: We're having a fight about the due date of the marketing proposal.
Boss: Well then there's only one one way to solve it.
[The scene changes to a Mortal Kombat-style fight]
Announcer: FIGHT!!
Jim: [Punches Frank in the face]
Frank: [Throws staplers at Jim] Stapler! Stapler!
Jim: [Throws papers at Frank] Post It! Post It! P-P-P-Post It!
Announcer: Finish him!
Jim: [Performs Fatality by smashing Jim with a cupboard]
Announcer: Level 2!
Nancy: You know that proposal was due on Wednesday, Jim!
Jim: Thursday, Nancy.
Announcer: FIGHT!!
Nancy: [Throws coffee at Jim] Hot coffee! Hot coffee!
Jim: [Stretches arms and touches Nancy's breasts] Sexual harassment!
Nancy: [Shows lawsuit papers to Jim] Lawsuit! Lawsuit!
Jim: [Stabs Nancy in the eye with a knife] Letter opener!
Announcer: Level 3!
Jim: Ryu from Street Fighter? I didn't know you worked here!
Ryu: I don't, but that proposal was definitely due on Wednesday!
Announcer: FIGHT!!
Ryu: Hadouken![Takes 85% off of Jim's life bar.]
Jim: I'll get right on it.
Jim: Nope.
Frank: I told you to give it to me today.
Jim: I could've sworn you said Thursday.
Frank: No, I said Wednesday.
Jim: I don't think so, Thursday!
Frank: Wednesday, douchebag!
Jim: Thursday, assface!
Frank: Wednesday, you fucking idiot!!
Boss: What is going on here?!
Frank: We're having a fight about the due date of the marketing proposal.
Boss: Well then there's only one one way to solve it.
[The scene changes to a Mortal Kombat-style fight]
Announcer: FIGHT!!
Jim: [Punches Frank in the face]
Frank: [Throws staplers at Jim] Stapler! Stapler!
Jim: [Throws papers at Frank] Post It! Post It! P-P-P-Post It!
Announcer: Finish him!
Jim: [Performs Fatality by smashing Jim with a cupboard]
Announcer: Level 2!
Nancy: You know that proposal was due on Wednesday, Jim!
Jim: Thursday, Nancy.
Announcer: FIGHT!!
Nancy: [Throws coffee at Jim] Hot coffee! Hot coffee!
Jim: [Stretches arms and touches Nancy's breasts] Sexual harassment!
Nancy: [Shows lawsuit papers to Jim] Lawsuit! Lawsuit!
Jim: [Stabs Nancy in the eye with a knife] Letter opener!
Announcer: Level 3!
Jim: Ryu from Street Fighter? I didn't know you worked here!
Ryu: I don't, but that proposal was definitely due on Wednesday!
Announcer: FIGHT!!
Ryu: Hadouken![Takes 85% off of Jim's life bar.]
Jim: I'll get right on it.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[Waving goodbye to Elliot.]
E.T.: Be good.
Elliot: Good-goodbye E.T.
E.T.: E.T. home.
Alien #1: Oh my God! Look everyone, that retard we ditched on Earth somehow found his way home!
E.T.: E.T. phoned home.
Alien #2: What the hell are you calling yourself "E.T." for, spaz? Your name is Kleeborp. Kleeborp the retard!
Alien #3: Yeah, Kleeborp the retard with only one glowing finger.
Aliens #1, #2, #3: Ha, Ha! [shows all glowing fingers]
E.T.: [gives them a glowing middle finger]
Alien #1: Oh now you're fucking dead. [Aliens grab E.T.]
E.T.: [Screams like a girl]
Alien #1: And next time, stay lost, loser!!!
E.T.: [Looks at Xenomorph from Alien] Friend.
E.T.: Be good.
Elliot: Good-goodbye E.T.
E.T.: E.T. home.
Alien #1: Oh my God! Look everyone, that retard we ditched on Earth somehow found his way home!
E.T.: E.T. phoned home.
Alien #2: What the hell are you calling yourself "E.T." for, spaz? Your name is Kleeborp. Kleeborp the retard!
Alien #3: Yeah, Kleeborp the retard with only one glowing finger.
Aliens #1, #2, #3: Ha, Ha! [shows all glowing fingers]
E.T.: [gives them a glowing middle finger]
Alien #1: Oh now you're fucking dead. [Aliens grab E.T.]
E.T.: [Screams like a girl]
Alien #1: And next time, stay lost, loser!!!
E.T.: [Looks at Xenomorph from Alien] Friend.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Fast-food Worker: [Practicing to himself at a drive-through window] Would you like fries with that? Would you like fries with that? Would you like fries with that? [Car pulls up] Uh, excuse me! Would you like flies with that? [realizing his mistake] Ahhhh dammit! Dammit!!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Doctor: Mr. President, your vitals seem to be all right, there is however one thing thought, your midi-chloriant count is extremely high.
Bush: Does that mean I'm one of them- whata call 'em- Jedis? [thinks then uses the force to pull down the doctors pants] Heheheheheheh.
[scene change to Bush and his wife in bed]
Laura Bush: Oh not tonight, I'm tired honey.
Bush: [mind trick] You're not tired, you wanna have a threesome.
Laura Bush: [eyes widen] I'm not tired, I want to have a threesome.
Bush: [picks up telephone] Get me Condi! Heheheheh.
[scene change to a parking lot at McDonalds; Bush is about to park when Bill Clinton takes his spot]
Clinton: Awww, sorry W, Big Mac attack! Yeeeeeeeheeeew! [Bush is angry and uses the force to drop Clinton and his car in a nearby lake] Hey, what the dilly?
Bush: Heheheheheheh!
[scene change to George Bush using lightsaber to carve the words "W wuz hear" into the Lincoln Memorial] Heheh, saber beats rock.
[statue lifts up revealing Abraham Lincoln]
Bush: What the hell?
Lincoln: Who dares disturb my slumber?
Bush: Who dares question my...daring...of...his dare?...Jerk!
Lincoln: It is I...I who freed the slaves...I who-
Bush: Boring! Let's fight! [Lincoln draws a lightsaber and they begin the fight, Bush corners Lincoln]
Lincoln: If you strike me down, I shall become-- [Bush raises his saber for the kill] No, wait a minute, lemme finish-- [gets sliced and dies like Obi-Wan Kenobi inA New Hope'] Agghhh!
Bush: That'll teach you, George Washington!
[scene change to Cloud City where Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker he is his father]
Bush: Jenna, get
Bush: Does that mean I'm one of them- whata call 'em- Jedis? [thinks then uses the force to pull down the doctors pants] Heheheheheheh.
[scene change to Bush and his wife in bed]
Laura Bush: Oh not tonight, I'm tired honey.
Bush: [mind trick] You're not tired, you wanna have a threesome.
Laura Bush: [eyes widen] I'm not tired, I want to have a threesome.
Bush: [picks up telephone] Get me Condi! Heheheheh.
[scene change to a parking lot at McDonalds; Bush is about to park when Bill Clinton takes his spot]
Clinton: Awww, sorry W, Big Mac attack! Yeeeeeeeheeeew! [Bush is angry and uses the force to drop Clinton and his car in a nearby lake] Hey, what the dilly?
Bush: Heheheheheheh!
[scene change to George Bush using lightsaber to carve the words "W wuz hear" into the Lincoln Memorial] Heheh, saber beats rock.
[statue lifts up revealing Abraham Lincoln]
Bush: What the hell?
Lincoln: Who dares disturb my slumber?
Bush: Who dares question my...daring...of...his dare?...Jerk!
Lincoln: It is I...I who freed the slaves...I who-
Bush: Boring! Let's fight! [Lincoln draws a lightsaber and they begin the fight, Bush corners Lincoln]
Lincoln: If you strike me down, I shall become-- [Bush raises his saber for the kill] No, wait a minute, lemme finish-- [gets sliced and dies like Obi-Wan Kenobi inA New Hope'] Agghhh!
Bush: That'll teach you, George Washington!
[scene change to Cloud City where Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker he is his father]
Bush: Jenna, get
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Ron: Harry, I'm scared!
Harry: You're always scared, you chicken shit!
Ron: I can’t help it! I’m a scared, pimple-faced, red-headed, chicken shit virgin!
Harry: You're always scared, you chicken shit!
Ron: I can’t help it! I’m a scared, pimple-faced, red-headed, chicken shit virgin!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Harry What are we going to do?
Hermione: Let’s ask Hagrid for help.
Harry: Don’t be ridiculous, Hermione. We need to confront the terrible horror ourselves and potentially end up hospitalized, like always.
Hermione: Let’s ask Hagrid for help.
Harry: Don’t be ridiculous, Hermione. We need to confront the terrible horror ourselves and potentially end up hospitalized, like always.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Hermione: Professor Snape, Harry and Ron were cursed by the monster Pubertus.
Snape: Pubertus eh? Let's discuss this further in my magical jacuzzi. Barry Whitus, Candle Lightus. Girl Excitus!
Snape: So... shall we play "Put the Sorting Hat on the Slytherine?"
Hermione: Pedophilius Repellus!
Snape: Pubertus eh? Let's discuss this further in my magical jacuzzi. Barry Whitus, Candle Lightus. Girl Excitus!
Snape: So... shall we play "Put the Sorting Hat on the Slytherine?"
Hermione: Pedophilius Repellus!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Draco Malfoy: Look Potter, I taught the Sorting Hat a new trick. [he places it onto Harry Potter's head]
Sorting Hat: Virgin.
[Students laugh]
Malfoy: Looks like Potter is "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Laid." Heheh. Guess the monster Pubertus hasn't quite caught up with you yet, huh?
Hermione: Ugh, Pubertus is just a myth, Malfoy!
[Malfoy places the hat on Hermione's Head]
Sorting Hat: Second base!
[Students gasp]
Sorting Hat: Virgin.
[Students laugh]
Malfoy: Looks like Potter is "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Laid." Heheh. Guess the monster Pubertus hasn't quite caught up with you yet, huh?
Hermione: Ugh, Pubertus is just a myth, Malfoy!
[Malfoy places the hat on Hermione's Head]
Sorting Hat: Second base!
[Students gasp]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[Ricky gets run over by a car while playing soccer.]
Ricky's Dad: Ricky, the doctors say the accident left you mute. Do you know what that means? (Ricky shakes his head) It means you can't talk no more. (now cheerful) But just because you can't talk don't mean you can't communicate. Look what I got you! (shows him a big sandwich board saying "Hi, my name is Ricky!") You'll wear this everywhere you go.
[The soccer game continues to play, Ricky is in possession of the soccer ball.]
Red Team Player #1: Kick it over here, "Hi, my name is Ricky"!
[Ricky starts passing the ball but the defense blocks it.]
Blue Team Player #1: Nice job on Defense, "Hi, my name is Ricky"! You suck! You seriously fucking suck, dude!
[The accident sequence continues to go on, Ricky gets run over twice.]
Ricky's Dad: Ricky, the doctors say the accident left you mostly deaf. Do you know what that means? I said, "Do you know what that means?" Well anyways, this is just another challenge, yo champel! I got you those hearing aids. (fits two horns of Ricky's ears)
[The soccer game continues once again. Ricky, as his sandwich board now reads "Hello, I am hearing impaired!" gets the ball.]
Coach: Nice huzzle, "Hello, I am hearing impaired!"
[Another blue player blocks the ball.]
Blue Team Player #2: You kinda suck, "Hello, I am hearing impaired!"
[Ricky gets run over for the last time.]
Ricky's Dad: Ricky, the doctors say the accident affected your brain. We don't know what that means yet, but I got you these googly eye glasses.
[The soccer game continues for a third time, as Ricky, with his googly eye glasses and sandwich board now saying "Howdy, I have brain damage!", stands by the blue team's goal. The ball bounces off Ricky and straight into the goal.]
Ricky's Dad: Ricky, the doctors say the accident left you mute. Do you know what that means? (Ricky shakes his head) It means you can't talk no more. (now cheerful) But just because you can't talk don't mean you can't communicate. Look what I got you! (shows him a big sandwich board saying "Hi, my name is Ricky!") You'll wear this everywhere you go.
[The soccer game continues to play, Ricky is in possession of the soccer ball.]
Red Team Player #1: Kick it over here, "Hi, my name is Ricky"!
[Ricky starts passing the ball but the defense blocks it.]
Blue Team Player #1: Nice job on Defense, "Hi, my name is Ricky"! You suck! You seriously fucking suck, dude!
[The accident sequence continues to go on, Ricky gets run over twice.]
Ricky's Dad: Ricky, the doctors say the accident left you mostly deaf. Do you know what that means? I said, "Do you know what that means?" Well anyways, this is just another challenge, yo champel! I got you those hearing aids. (fits two horns of Ricky's ears)
[The soccer game continues once again. Ricky, as his sandwich board now reads "Hello, I am hearing impaired!" gets the ball.]
Coach: Nice huzzle, "Hello, I am hearing impaired!"
[Another blue player blocks the ball.]
Blue Team Player #2: You kinda suck, "Hello, I am hearing impaired!"
[Ricky gets run over for the last time.]
Ricky's Dad: Ricky, the doctors say the accident affected your brain. We don't know what that means yet, but I got you these googly eye glasses.
[The soccer game continues for a third time, as Ricky, with his googly eye glasses and sandwich board now saying "Howdy, I have brain damage!", stands by the blue team's goal. The ball bounces off Ricky and straight into the goal.]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Cheer Bear: We did it!! We killed all the Care-Bear cousins!
All Care Bears: Hooray for murder!
Cheer Bear: Now let us celebrate our genocide! Get your party on!
Care Bear: Whooo!!! Everyone eat some rainbow!
Another Care Bear: Mmmm...that's good rainbow. [sky darkens and lightning flashes] Jesus fucking Christ! IT'S the great Cloud Keeper in the sky!
Cloud Keeper: Care Bears! I have watched you actions with great displeasure!
Cheer Bear: But, we purified the land of Care-a-Lot!
Cloud Keeper: For your dark and terrible deeds, I shall turn Care-a-Lot into a dark and terrible place. A hell on Earth; I shall turn Care-a-Lot into...[lightning]...New Jersey! [transformation begins and cuts to a mayors desk]
New Jersey Mayor: Hello. I'm New Jersey's Governor John Corzine. I hope you've enjoyed this reenactment of our state's proud history: The Garden State. [eats some rainbow] Come get in on some of this rainbow.
All Care Bears: Hooray for murder!
Cheer Bear: Now let us celebrate our genocide! Get your party on!
Care Bear: Whooo!!! Everyone eat some rainbow!
Another Care Bear: Mmmm...that's good rainbow. [sky darkens and lightning flashes] Jesus fucking Christ! IT'S the great Cloud Keeper in the sky!
Cloud Keeper: Care Bears! I have watched you actions with great displeasure!
Cheer Bear: But, we purified the land of Care-a-Lot!
Cloud Keeper: For your dark and terrible deeds, I shall turn Care-a-Lot into a dark and terrible place. A hell on Earth; I shall turn Care-a-Lot into...[lightning]...New Jersey! [transformation begins and cuts to a mayors desk]
New Jersey Mayor: Hello. I'm New Jersey's Governor John Corzine. I hope you've enjoyed this reenactment of our state's proud history: The Garden State. [eats some rainbow] Come get in on some of this rainbow.
TV Show: Robot Chicken