Robot Chicken Quotes
Boba Fett: [talking to a carbonite-frozen Han Solo] Heeey! Mr. Solo! Heh-heh, solo on the rocks! You can't beat me, I'm Boba Fett, I'm the greatest bounty hunter ever! [quickly draws a blaster at Solo] Ah-dow-dow-dow-dow-dow! Haha, yeah! What's that, Solo? Oh, blasters aren't fair? Okay, dig it! [sheaths blaster] No blasters. Oh, ho, ah! [quickly whips out blaster and points it at Solo's face] Didn't see that one comin', did ya? Huh? So slow! Ah, you thought I was over there, but guess what, WHAA! Huh, huh, huh! [somersaults to another place off-screen; pops up and sticks blaster in Solo's face] O-hohoho-ver here! Ah-yaw-aww! [throws blaster on the floor] A little rope-a-dope, little rope-a-dope, ha? [punches the air] Haa, left, right, left, right! Ohhh-hohohohooo! Down goes Solo... [bends over and breathes heavily] ...Huh? [breathes] What's that? What, you wanna face-to-face? Well, lemme just take this bad boy off. [grunts; takes helmet off] Ohh, he's even better lookin' without the helmet! Surprise ending. Huh, wha-, you want me to come closer? [whisper] Oh, you don't wanna fight anymore? [touches Solo's hands] Oh, your hands are up there almost like you're beggin'... beggin' for a little piece of Boba... [begins stroking Solo's hand] Yeah, ya like that, don't ya? [strokes Solo's lips] You like it, 'cause you're bad... oh, yeah... you dirty, little smuggler...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Chewbacca: [goes to comb hair in the mirror, but then realizes it looks good just the way it is; happily] Grraawww!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Darth Vader: Turn to the Dark side and join me.
Luke Skywalker: I'll never join you! You killed my father!
Darth Vader: No, Luke. I am your father!
Luke Skywalker: That's not true! That's impossible!
Darth Vader: And Princess Leia is your sister!
Luke Skywalker: That's not true! That's... improbable!
Darth Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!
Luke Skywalker: That's... [scoffs] very unlikely...
Darth Vader: And as a child, I built C-3PO!
Luke Skywalker: Mhm.
[later]
Darth Vader: [with a cup of coffee] And the Force? Well, that's just microscopicbacteria in your bloodstream called midi-chlorian.
Luke Skywalker: [flicks away cigarette] Look, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm out. [walks away]
Luke Skywalker: I'll never join you! You killed my father!
Darth Vader: No, Luke. I am your father!
Luke Skywalker: That's not true! That's impossible!
Darth Vader: And Princess Leia is your sister!
Luke Skywalker: That's not true! That's... improbable!
Darth Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!
Luke Skywalker: That's... [scoffs] very unlikely...
Darth Vader: And as a child, I built C-3PO!
Luke Skywalker: Mhm.
[later]
Darth Vader: [with a cup of coffee] And the Force? Well, that's just microscopicbacteria in your bloodstream called midi-chlorian.
Luke Skywalker: [flicks away cigarette] Look, if you're not gonna take this seriously, I'm out. [walks away]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Emperor Palpatine: [to Luke Skywalker along with Darth Vader] As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have-- [Palpatine is interrupted by a hammering noise; pauses] --your friends have failed! Now-- [hammering and whirring noises interrupt Palpatine again; pauses] --now, witness the firepower of this fully-- [loud whirring and hammering; Palpatine's voice is highly drowned out] --fully armed and operational station-- oh, come on! [Palpatine walks over to a bunch of construction workers continuing to build the Death Star II, and tries to get their attention, his voice being highly drowned out from drill whirring and hammering] Hey, fellas! Excuse me! Excuse me! [Palpatine taps one worker on the shoulder, who completely haults all the other workers into silence] Eh-hey, the Force is strong with this one, eh? Whaddaya, whaddaya got there, a latte? You have the hazelnutmacchiato? Change your life! [all the construction workers cross their arms] ...Aaanywho! Tony, right?
Ray: Ray.
Emperor Palpatine: Ray! Sorry, sorry. I get... I get mixed up. Who's, who's, who's Tony? [silence] Anyway, I, I hate to interrupt, I know you're very busy -- is there anyway you could finish this area... you know, later? I'm, I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Ray: Ugh. Look, Mr. Saltine, I don't tell you how to... threaten your blond kids so, why don't you go back over there to your sit-and-spin and let me do my job?
Emperor Palpatine: Okay, okay, copy that. Good talk. [clicks tongue and walks back over to Luke and Darth Vader] They'll, eh, they'll, they'll just be a little longer. I, I... I told 'em to stop but, you know, ehh... "no-speak-oh mininum-wage-oh". Heh-heh-heh! So, so, so, where was I? Oh, right, right. [angry] Now, witness the firepower-- [construction noises completely mute out the Emperor; Luke and V
Ray: Ray.
Emperor Palpatine: Ray! Sorry, sorry. I get... I get mixed up. Who's, who's, who's Tony? [silence] Anyway, I, I hate to interrupt, I know you're very busy -- is there anyway you could finish this area... you know, later? I'm, I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Ray: Ugh. Look, Mr. Saltine, I don't tell you how to... threaten your blond kids so, why don't you go back over there to your sit-and-spin and let me do my job?
Emperor Palpatine: Okay, okay, copy that. Good talk. [clicks tongue and walks back over to Luke and Darth Vader] They'll, eh, they'll, they'll just be a little longer. I, I... I told 'em to stop but, you know, ehh... "no-speak-oh mininum-wage-oh". Heh-heh-heh! So, so, so, where was I? Oh, right, right. [angry] Now, witness the firepower-- [construction noises completely mute out the Emperor; Luke and V
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[on the planet Cloud City, Lobot dances around its empty corridors to Meco's disco remix of the Star Wars theme, almost as if it were an ice rink]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Hyper Narrator: Jabba the Hutt's hottest singer was blown to smithereens, but his rock 'n roll will never die! Presenting "Max Rebo's Greatest Hits", including: "Why Do I Look Like an Elephant?"
Max Rebo: [mumbles rhythmatically, but incoherently]
[other songs scroll by the screen including, "It's Not Easy Being Blue", "Why Do I Look Like an Elephant?", and "I'm Not Afraid of Mice, Baby"]
Hyper Narrator: "Ohh, I Have an Average Memory"!
Max Rebo: [mumbles rhythmatically again]
[more songs scroll by including, "I Have Fingers, Elephants Don't", "Ooh, I Have an Average Memory", "You Know What They Say About Big Ears", "Definitely Not an Elephant", and "Junk in My Trunk"]
Hyper Narrator: And his Grammy Award-winning single, "I Already Told You I'm Not an Elephant"!
Max Rebo: [mumbles]
[more songs scroll by including, "There is No Elephant in the Room, Because I'm Not an Elephant, Mama", and "I Sleep Lying Down, Girl"]
Hyper Narrator: And his famous duet with *NSYNC's Joey Fatone!
Joey Fatone: [Max Rebo mumbles in the background with Joey; singing] Neither of us is an elephant!
Hyper Narrator: [explosion] "Max Rebo's Greatest Hits", the guy who looks like a blue elephant! Order now!
Max Rebo: [mumbles rhythmatically, but incoherently]
[other songs scroll by the screen including, "It's Not Easy Being Blue", "Why Do I Look Like an Elephant?", and "I'm Not Afraid of Mice, Baby"]
Hyper Narrator: "Ohh, I Have an Average Memory"!
Max Rebo: [mumbles rhythmatically again]
[more songs scroll by including, "I Have Fingers, Elephants Don't", "Ooh, I Have an Average Memory", "You Know What They Say About Big Ears", "Definitely Not an Elephant", and "Junk in My Trunk"]
Hyper Narrator: And his Grammy Award-winning single, "I Already Told You I'm Not an Elephant"!
Max Rebo: [mumbles]
[more songs scroll by including, "There is No Elephant in the Room, Because I'm Not an Elephant, Mama", and "I Sleep Lying Down, Girl"]
Hyper Narrator: And his famous duet with *NSYNC's Joey Fatone!
Joey Fatone: [Max Rebo mumbles in the background with Joey; singing] Neither of us is an elephant!
Hyper Narrator: [explosion] "Max Rebo's Greatest Hits", the guy who looks like a blue elephant! Order now!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[a band plays intro music to "Mid-Nite with Zuckuss"]
Zuckuss: [chops at the air] Hyah, hyah, hyah! Ho-ho-kay everybody! Welcome back to the show! We have a surprise guest tonight, I wasn't really expecting this, Emperor Palpatine is here! [an impersonated Emperor Palpatine appears in Synchro-Vox]
Emperor Palpatine: Silence! Fear me! [crowd laughs]
Zuckuss: So, tell me, your highness. How do you plan on putting down this "Rebellion" everyone's talking about?
Emperor Palpatine: By shooting it with lightning! [crowd laughs] That's how I solve all my problems! And then afterwards, I shall eat pudding. [crowd laughs again]
Zuckuss: [chuckles] Okay, right! But seriously, the Rebels have already caused major disruptions--
Emperor Palpatine: I'll show you a major disruption! [mumbling laughter] A major disruption in my adult undergarments! [crowd laughs]
Zuckuss: Ahhh, chh, okay!
Emperor Palpatine: Now, can we get out of here? Seriously, Francis, it's time for my soap operas.
Zuckuss: It's Zuckuss.
Emperor Palpatine: [retracts off the screen] Peace out, fly-face! Fear meee!
Zuckuss: Okay, ah, that was fun! Haha, it's time to bring out our next guest, the Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader! [a miniature Darth Vader comes hopping out to comical music, swiping his lightsaber around; Zuckuss holds his head to stop him from coming closer] Whoahohoho, easy! You could hurt someone with that! [crowd laughs; Zuckuss takes the lightsaber and tosses it aside] Whoa, easy boy, easy boy! Ah-haha, well, that's our show tonight! Stay tuned for late night talk with Sinbad! [the Death Star floats into view out the studio window behind Zuckuss and briefly charges up a green beam, then shoots Zuckuss at the ba
Zuckuss: [chops at the air] Hyah, hyah, hyah! Ho-ho-kay everybody! Welcome back to the show! We have a surprise guest tonight, I wasn't really expecting this, Emperor Palpatine is here! [an impersonated Emperor Palpatine appears in Synchro-Vox]
Emperor Palpatine: Silence! Fear me! [crowd laughs]
Zuckuss: So, tell me, your highness. How do you plan on putting down this "Rebellion" everyone's talking about?
Emperor Palpatine: By shooting it with lightning! [crowd laughs] That's how I solve all my problems! And then afterwards, I shall eat pudding. [crowd laughs again]
Zuckuss: [chuckles] Okay, right! But seriously, the Rebels have already caused major disruptions--
Emperor Palpatine: I'll show you a major disruption! [mumbling laughter] A major disruption in my adult undergarments! [crowd laughs]
Zuckuss: Ahhh, chh, okay!
Emperor Palpatine: Now, can we get out of here? Seriously, Francis, it's time for my soap operas.
Zuckuss: It's Zuckuss.
Emperor Palpatine: [retracts off the screen] Peace out, fly-face! Fear meee!
Zuckuss: Okay, ah, that was fun! Haha, it's time to bring out our next guest, the Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader! [a miniature Darth Vader comes hopping out to comical music, swiping his lightsaber around; Zuckuss holds his head to stop him from coming closer] Whoahohoho, easy! You could hurt someone with that! [crowd laughs; Zuckuss takes the lightsaber and tosses it aside] Whoa, easy boy, easy boy! Ah-haha, well, that's our show tonight! Stay tuned for late night talk with Sinbad! [the Death Star floats into view out the studio window behind Zuckuss and briefly charges up a green beam, then shoots Zuckuss at the ba
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Empire on Ice!
Luke Skywalker: [while on a Tauntaun]The Empire is chasing us, they simply will not cease!
Han Solo: Aw, man! My nuts are freezing, kid, I'm up out this bitch!
Luke & Solo: Peace! [scene changes to Luke on a Tauntaun with a Wampa]
Wampa: I'm the Wampa! I'm the snowman! And I don't take any lip from no man!
Luke Skywalker: But-- [the Wampa slashes Luke's face and drags him away] AAHH! [janitors skate by and clean up Luke's blood as Han Solo and Princess Leia skate out]
Han Solo: [singing in the tune of Princess Leia's theme] I know you want me bad, Princess! I know you're such a flirter!
Princess Leia: Shut up, you scruffy nerf-herder! [slaps Han and skates away as Solo holds his cheek]
C-3PO: [begins to skate around Han with R2; sings in the tune of the Cantina Band] Luke, he hasn't checked in yet, it might be that he is done! His chances of surviving here are ten billion and five to one!
R2-D2: [spins and beeps][scene changes]
Chewbacca: [skates into view with Han Solo and roars]
Probe: You are so dumb! The Empire's been alerted and here they come! [Han Solo shoots the probe; scene changes to all the previous cast of "Empire on Ice" skating into view, along with robed Stormtroopers and AT-AT Walkers; in the tune of "The Imperial March"]
All: Empire on ice! Empire on ice! Here we are, the Empire on ice! All those Rebels will pay a big price! Vader's - not nice, and the Tauntaun - get's sliced, and Chewbacca - has lice, the Empire on ice! Empire on ice! [the Wampa begins to spin around for a long time on the toe of his skates] Empire on iiiiice! [the Wampa stops and rests on one knee, raising
Luke Skywalker: [while on a Tauntaun]The Empire is chasing us, they simply will not cease!
Han Solo: Aw, man! My nuts are freezing, kid, I'm up out this bitch!
Luke & Solo: Peace! [scene changes to Luke on a Tauntaun with a Wampa]
Wampa: I'm the Wampa! I'm the snowman! And I don't take any lip from no man!
Luke Skywalker: But-- [the Wampa slashes Luke's face and drags him away] AAHH! [janitors skate by and clean up Luke's blood as Han Solo and Princess Leia skate out]
Han Solo: [singing in the tune of Princess Leia's theme] I know you want me bad, Princess! I know you're such a flirter!
Princess Leia: Shut up, you scruffy nerf-herder! [slaps Han and skates away as Solo holds his cheek]
C-3PO: [begins to skate around Han with R2; sings in the tune of the Cantina Band] Luke, he hasn't checked in yet, it might be that he is done! His chances of surviving here are ten billion and five to one!
R2-D2: [spins and beeps][scene changes]
Chewbacca: [skates into view with Han Solo and roars]
Probe: You are so dumb! The Empire's been alerted and here they come! [Han Solo shoots the probe; scene changes to all the previous cast of "Empire on Ice" skating into view, along with robed Stormtroopers and AT-AT Walkers; in the tune of "The Imperial March"]
All: Empire on ice! Empire on ice! Here we are, the Empire on ice! All those Rebels will pay a big price! Vader's - not nice, and the Tauntaun - get's sliced, and Chewbacca - has lice, the Empire on ice! Empire on ice! [the Wampa begins to spin around for a long time on the toe of his skates] Empire on iiiiice! [the Wampa stops and rests on one knee, raising
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Darth Vader: [breathing]
Jar-Jar Binks: [next to Vader, who's sitting up in his bed] Eehhh-yaa-hah-hahhh! [hops and jumps around]Ani, yeeeah! Yeeeeaaah!
Jar-Jar Binks: [next to Vader, who's sitting up in his bed] Eehhh-yaa-hah-hahhh! [hops and jumps around]Ani, yeeeah! Yeeeeaaah!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[a guy dressed up in a Stormtrooper outfit takes out a lunch box and thermos bottle]
Wife: Gary, where is Jessica? Isn't today "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"?
Gary: [sighs] No one actually does that.
Wife: Gary, you promised. [walks away; the camera slowly zooms in on the motionless Gary]
[at a Rebel Alliance ship; a group of Stormtroopers blast down a door and begin a blaster-fight with some guards]
Gary: Keep your head down, Jessica!
Jessica: Okay, daddy! [Gary takes his daughter's hand and runs to cover; Jessica squeals and accidentally drops her teddy bear into the line of fire] Mr. Fuzzybottom!
Gary: [stops Jessica from running into the line of fire, then puts his head down in frustration and sighs calmly; carefully walks into the line of fire to get Mr. Fuzzybottom back, dodging an array of red-toned lasers getting fired in his direction; groans] AHHH! [makes his way back to Jessica on his hands and knees, panting heavily] Here you go, baby.
Darth Vader: Who is this little girl?
Gary: Oh! Vader! Uh... it's "Take Your Daughter to Work Day", and I know, uh... you know, I'm sorry for bringing her, but my wife says I never see her, and... and let's be honest, she's right! Okay? She's right! [silence] ...Do you have kids? 'Cause, I mean, heh, they change your world. ...Oh, I'm probably gonna get fired for this... but [stands proud][bleep] it. [takes his daughter's hand and says sternly] I love my daughter.
Darth Vader: [silence; leans in and thumps his chest with his fist] That really hits me where I live. [grabs a rebel guard by the neck and lifts him up] What have you done with those plans?! Gary here, never sees his daughter because of people like you! [brief pause; bone snaps; realizes wh
Wife: Gary, where is Jessica? Isn't today "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"?
Gary: [sighs] No one actually does that.
Wife: Gary, you promised. [walks away; the camera slowly zooms in on the motionless Gary]
[at a Rebel Alliance ship; a group of Stormtroopers blast down a door and begin a blaster-fight with some guards]
Gary: Keep your head down, Jessica!
Jessica: Okay, daddy! [Gary takes his daughter's hand and runs to cover; Jessica squeals and accidentally drops her teddy bear into the line of fire] Mr. Fuzzybottom!
Gary: [stops Jessica from running into the line of fire, then puts his head down in frustration and sighs calmly; carefully walks into the line of fire to get Mr. Fuzzybottom back, dodging an array of red-toned lasers getting fired in his direction; groans] AHHH! [makes his way back to Jessica on his hands and knees, panting heavily] Here you go, baby.
Darth Vader: Who is this little girl?
Gary: Oh! Vader! Uh... it's "Take Your Daughter to Work Day", and I know, uh... you know, I'm sorry for bringing her, but my wife says I never see her, and... and let's be honest, she's right! Okay? She's right! [silence] ...Do you have kids? 'Cause, I mean, heh, they change your world. ...Oh, I'm probably gonna get fired for this... but [stands proud][bleep] it. [takes his daughter's hand and says sternly] I love my daughter.
Darth Vader: [silence; leans in and thumps his chest with his fist] That really hits me where I live. [grabs a rebel guard by the neck and lifts him up] What have you done with those plans?! Gary here, never sees his daughter because of people like you! [brief pause; bone snaps; realizes wh
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Darth Vader: [kneeling on the floor] What is thy bidding my master?
Emperor Palpatine: My bidding? how about I "bid thee" to stop raming the ship into [bleep]ing asteroid fields?! can you handle that?!
Darth Vader: I'm trying...
Emperor Palpatine: Yeah?, well there is no "try", theirs "Do", and there's [bleep]ing up Royal and you are [bleep]ing up Royal so i'm hiring bounty hunters to do the job. [picks up a phone]
Darth Vader: But..
Emperor Palpatine: No buts, its already ringing. [looks down at Vader] you look so tiny down there, like a little mean...pepper shaker. Sheila, hey, it's Palpatine. Listen, I need you to place an ad for me. "Imperial Emperor seeking Bounty Hunters to...um...to find and locate...yeah, I guess that does mean the same thing, to locate the Millenium Falcon" {pause, he looks back at Vader] she's typing, so all you can see is my head? can you see this? [ Sticks up his middle finger]
Darth Vader: Yes, I...
Emperor Palpatine: [Back on Phone} Nope, I'm here....all right, and be sure to mention some kind of a reward...what?....Oh, I don't know, how much do you think? [Pause] Really?, seems a little high to me....Nope, I see your point, I tell you what, why don't we just say "Substantial Reward" and leave it at that?...Ok, thanks, Sheila...Oh, what?...[Sighs] Sure, what-what's his name?, Dengar?, ok...No, no we'll bring him in first thing in the morning, ok, buh-bye, [hangs up] Sheila's husbands a bounty hunter, I told her we'd give him a look-see, [He crosses his arms ] Bet that knee's starting to hurt.
Emperor Palpatine: My bidding? how about I "bid thee" to stop raming the ship into [bleep]ing asteroid fields?! can you handle that?!
Darth Vader: I'm trying...
Emperor Palpatine: Yeah?, well there is no "try", theirs "Do", and there's [bleep]ing up Royal and you are [bleep]ing up Royal so i'm hiring bounty hunters to do the job. [picks up a phone]
Darth Vader: But..
Emperor Palpatine: No buts, its already ringing. [looks down at Vader] you look so tiny down there, like a little mean...pepper shaker. Sheila, hey, it's Palpatine. Listen, I need you to place an ad for me. "Imperial Emperor seeking Bounty Hunters to...um...to find and locate...yeah, I guess that does mean the same thing, to locate the Millenium Falcon" {pause, he looks back at Vader] she's typing, so all you can see is my head? can you see this? [ Sticks up his middle finger]
Darth Vader: Yes, I...
Emperor Palpatine: [Back on Phone} Nope, I'm here....all right, and be sure to mention some kind of a reward...what?....Oh, I don't know, how much do you think? [Pause] Really?, seems a little high to me....Nope, I see your point, I tell you what, why don't we just say "Substantial Reward" and leave it at that?...Ok, thanks, Sheila...Oh, what?...[Sighs] Sure, what-what's his name?, Dengar?, ok...No, no we'll bring him in first thing in the morning, ok, buh-bye, [hangs up] Sheila's husbands a bounty hunter, I told her we'd give him a look-see, [He crosses his arms ] Bet that knee's starting to hurt.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Darth Vader: Make her tell us the location of the Rebel base.
Dr. Ball: Good God man, I'm a doctor not a savage! This is a flu shot! Good day sir!
Darth Vader: You will make her -
Dr. Ball: I said good day sir!
Dr. Ball: Good God man, I'm a doctor not a savage! This is a flu shot! Good day sir!
Darth Vader: You will make her -
Dr. Ball: I said good day sir!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Dr. Ball: [Padme's death scene in Revenge of the Sith] She's "lost the will to live"? What is your degree in poetry? You sorry bunch of hippies! For God' sake, don't use the billions of dollars of medical equipment around us! Why don't we just get down on our knees and pray!?! We don't have knees, you motherfuckers!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Darth Vader: Welcome my master! The Death Star construction is proceeding...
Emperor Palpatine: [interrupting Vader] Yeah! Great! Fine! Whatever. That flight was a fucking nightmare man. My stupid tray table broke and I ended up with a gallon of coffee in my crotch; it was like dunking my wang in hot lava. Something you have some experience with I guess, huh? Right?
Darth Vader: [shamefully] Yes...
Emperor Palpatine: [interrupting Vader] Yeah! Great! Fine! Whatever. That flight was a fucking nightmare man. My stupid tray table broke and I ended up with a gallon of coffee in my crotch; it was like dunking my wang in hot lava. Something you have some experience with I guess, huh? Right?
Darth Vader: [shamefully] Yes...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Darth Vader: [pointing to a black suitcase with a white stripe that is passing by Vader and Palpatine on a luggage conveyor belt] Is that yours?
Emperor Palpatine: No! For the hundredth time, that's that same stupid black bag. Mine dosen't have a stripe. It's like that stripey bag is mocking me... Fuck you stripey bag.
Emperor Palpatine: Well, my suitcase is gone; sacrificed to the airport guards. Now I'm here for two fucking weeks with one fucking robe. Ohh! Now it's sticking to me like a wet Kleenex
Emperor Palpatine: [as a surfboard is passing by him on the Death Star luggage conveyor belt] Wow, for real?
Emperor Palpatine: No! For the hundredth time, that's that same stupid black bag. Mine dosen't have a stripe. It's like that stripey bag is mocking me... Fuck you stripey bag.
Emperor Palpatine: Well, my suitcase is gone; sacrificed to the airport guards. Now I'm here for two fucking weeks with one fucking robe. Ohh! Now it's sticking to me like a wet Kleenex
Emperor Palpatine: [as a surfboard is passing by him on the Death Star luggage conveyor belt] Wow, for real?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[at Cloud City]
Lando: I've made a deal that will keep the empire out of our affairs forever.
[door opens to reveal Darth Vader sitting at the head of a table; he rises as Chewbacca roars and Han Solo fires multiple times with his blaster; Vader deflects the blasts and pulls Han's blaster away]
Darth Vader: We'd be honored if you could join us.
[Boba Fett stands by Vader and stormtroopers block the entrance; cutaway to everyone sitting at the table; everyone is silent; Han looks in his glass to see it is empty as a stormtrooper serves more food to Lando; Darth Vader tries to drink out of a glass but can't until a stormtrooper puts in a straw]
Han Solo: [nervously quiet] C-could- can I get a little more water?
Darth Vader: WHAT?
Han Solo: Nothing! [clears throat] I just asked for more water. [a stormtrooper refills his glass]
[Han looks over to Boba who is shaking his head at him, Han is confused, Boba makes a cutting noise across the throat which angers Han, Boba continues mocking Han by shooting a finger gun at Han, Han in response pretends to inflate his middle finger, Boba is not shaken and "cranks" up his own middle finger in response, Han annoyed gives up]
Lando: [breaking the silence] Sooo, how we doin'? Liea, how's the soup? You ever had soup this good?
Princess Liea: Yes...[menacingly at Vader] on Alderaan!
Darth Vader: '{chuckling] Hey, princess, let it gooooooo... [gets a muffin using the force and stands up] [doing a mocking reconstruction of the destruction of Alderaan] "Ohh, help me! 'We're a peaceful planet. You may fire when ready!" [throws crumbs in everyone's faces] BOOOOOOOORRRRAAAARRRR!!!!!! Big Laser! BSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Alderaan chunks everywhere! [chuckles] Psssshhhhhhh....[sits down]
Lando: I've made a deal that will keep the empire out of our affairs forever.
[door opens to reveal Darth Vader sitting at the head of a table; he rises as Chewbacca roars and Han Solo fires multiple times with his blaster; Vader deflects the blasts and pulls Han's blaster away]
Darth Vader: We'd be honored if you could join us.
[Boba Fett stands by Vader and stormtroopers block the entrance; cutaway to everyone sitting at the table; everyone is silent; Han looks in his glass to see it is empty as a stormtrooper serves more food to Lando; Darth Vader tries to drink out of a glass but can't until a stormtrooper puts in a straw]
Han Solo: [nervously quiet] C-could- can I get a little more water?
Darth Vader: WHAT?
Han Solo: Nothing! [clears throat] I just asked for more water. [a stormtrooper refills his glass]
[Han looks over to Boba who is shaking his head at him, Han is confused, Boba makes a cutting noise across the throat which angers Han, Boba continues mocking Han by shooting a finger gun at Han, Han in response pretends to inflate his middle finger, Boba is not shaken and "cranks" up his own middle finger in response, Han annoyed gives up]
Lando: [breaking the silence] Sooo, how we doin'? Liea, how's the soup? You ever had soup this good?
Princess Liea: Yes...[menacingly at Vader] on Alderaan!
Darth Vader: '{chuckling] Hey, princess, let it gooooooo... [gets a muffin using the force and stands up] [doing a mocking reconstruction of the destruction of Alderaan] "Ohh, help me! 'We're a peaceful planet. You may fire when ready!" [throws crumbs in everyone's faces] BOOOOOOOORRRRAAAARRRR!!!!!! Big Laser! BSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Alderaan chunks everywhere! [chuckles] Psssshhhhhhh....[sits down]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Emperor Palpatine: [on Boba Fett] Apparently we're contractually obligated to follow that dumb kid's story too. That's what happens when you sell the most action figures. Thank you, fanboys.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Emperor Palpatine: Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth Vader.
Darth Vader: Thank you, my master.
Emperor Palpatine: Hey, before you go...my face is really warm. Is everything okay up here?
Darth Vader: I...don't know. What do you mean?
[Palpatine removes his hood and smoke billows up. He touches his face but pulls away]
Emperor Palpatine: Ow. Ahh. Ow, my face! It's on fire!
Darth Vader: Well, there...is a possibility that you were fighting Mace Windu, he deflected some of your Force lightning back into your face.
Emperor Palpatine: Are you kidding me? How much?
Darth Vader: A lot. I don't think there was one bolt of Force lightning that didn't bounce off Master Windu's lightsaber directly back into your face.
Emperor Palpatine: And you just sat there and watched?
Darth Vader: Turning to the Dark Side was a pretty big decision.
Emperor Palpatine: [looking into a mirror] Oh, my God! I look like I have a scrotum for a face! What am I supposed to call myself? Darth Syphilis?! If you'd made up your mind five seconds earlier, we could've ruled the galaxy and maybe I could've gotten laid one more time before I die!
Darth Vader: [backing away] I can see you're upset. I'm just gonna go slaughter those younglings.
Emperor Palpatine: Yeah, whatever.
Darth Vader: Thank you, my master.
Emperor Palpatine: Hey, before you go...my face is really warm. Is everything okay up here?
Darth Vader: I...don't know. What do you mean?
[Palpatine removes his hood and smoke billows up. He touches his face but pulls away]
Emperor Palpatine: Ow. Ahh. Ow, my face! It's on fire!
Darth Vader: Well, there...is a possibility that you were fighting Mace Windu, he deflected some of your Force lightning back into your face.
Emperor Palpatine: Are you kidding me? How much?
Darth Vader: A lot. I don't think there was one bolt of Force lightning that didn't bounce off Master Windu's lightsaber directly back into your face.
Emperor Palpatine: And you just sat there and watched?
Darth Vader: Turning to the Dark Side was a pretty big decision.
Emperor Palpatine: [looking into a mirror] Oh, my God! I look like I have a scrotum for a face! What am I supposed to call myself? Darth Syphilis?! If you'd made up your mind five seconds earlier, we could've ruled the galaxy and maybe I could've gotten laid one more time before I die!
Darth Vader: [backing away] I can see you're upset. I'm just gonna go slaughter those younglings.
Emperor Palpatine: Yeah, whatever.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Darth Vader: Leather....
Emperor Palpatine: Hear that, my boy gets the finest leather you got.
Darth Vader: Full-body...black leather
Emperor Palpatine: I see what you're going for, kind of an S&M thing
Darth Vader: Oh...and a cape....yeah...a cape would be pretty wizard...and a sweet voice box...and flashing lights...
Emperor Palpatine: Sure
Darth Vader: Built-in helicopter blades.....Remote-control flying fists
Emperor Palpatine: Can we just put this idiot under.
Emperor Palpatine: Hear that, my boy gets the finest leather you got.
Darth Vader: Full-body...black leather
Emperor Palpatine: I see what you're going for, kind of an S&M thing
Darth Vader: Oh...and a cape....yeah...a cape would be pretty wizard...and a sweet voice box...and flashing lights...
Emperor Palpatine: Sure
Darth Vader: Built-in helicopter blades.....Remote-control flying fists
Emperor Palpatine: Can we just put this idiot under.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Velma: The virgin always lives the longest in these horror movies. God, my life sucks!
Don Knotts: You think your life sucks? One of my apartment tenants might be a flaming homo! [audience laughs] And that ain't all - somebody killed me! [falls down with a knife in his back]
Don Knotts: You think your life sucks? One of my apartment tenants might be a flaming homo! [audience laughs] And that ain't all - somebody killed me! [falls down with a knife in his back]
TV Show: Robot Chicken