Robot Chicken Quotes
[Mario & Luigi have driven their go-kart into an auto-repair garage and come out with a customized car.]
Mario: Mamma Mia! Luigi, we got-a pimped-out-a ride!
Mario: Mamma Mia! Luigi, we got-a pimped-out-a ride!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[after evading the police, Mario & Luigi drive up to a prostitute.]
Mario: Look, Luigi! It's the princess! [to prostitute] Princess, you must-a come with us!
Prostitute: I'll suck your cock for fifty bucks!
Mario: Princess!
Luigi: Do you accept-a coins?
Mario: Look, Luigi! It's the princess! [to prostitute] Princess, you must-a come with us!
Prostitute: I'll suck your cock for fifty bucks!
Mario: Princess!
Luigi: Do you accept-a coins?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mushroom Seller: [giving Mario one] This is some really good shit, man.
[Mario eats it and gets high to heal his wounded shoulder.]
Mario: Ah-ha-hi! Oo-hoo! Wow! I feel-a really good! Look at the pretty colors. Ha-hi! Hoo-hoo! Hee-hee!
[Police sirens. The Mushroom Seller and Prostitute flee from the scene.]
Luigi: Oh, Jesus! It's-a the fuzz!
Mario: [thinks he see coins on the road] Ah-ha-ha! I-a feel so funny! Look, There's-a coins everywhere! Ha-ha! I'm-a rich!
Luigi: Mario, no!
[the coins are actually pedestrians as Mario hits them with the car.]
Luigi: I think I should-a drive!
[they crash and fly out of the car.]
Officer 1: Freeze! Put your hands in the air!
Officer 2: Hey, he's [Luigi] got a wrench!
Officer 1: Take him down!
[Officers shoot Luigi.]
Mario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! He's-a marinating in his own Ragù! You killed-a my brother! You sons of-a bitches! [grabs a machine gun and shoots everything in his way.]
[The army and SWAT show up.]
Mario: You'll never take me alive, you mother f--[everyone shoots him.]
[Mario eats it and gets high to heal his wounded shoulder.]
Mario: Ah-ha-hi! Oo-hoo! Wow! I feel-a really good! Look at the pretty colors. Ha-hi! Hoo-hoo! Hee-hee!
[Police sirens. The Mushroom Seller and Prostitute flee from the scene.]
Luigi: Oh, Jesus! It's-a the fuzz!
Mario: [thinks he see coins on the road] Ah-ha-ha! I-a feel so funny! Look, There's-a coins everywhere! Ha-ha! I'm-a rich!
Luigi: Mario, no!
[the coins are actually pedestrians as Mario hits them with the car.]
Luigi: I think I should-a drive!
[they crash and fly out of the car.]
Officer 1: Freeze! Put your hands in the air!
Officer 2: Hey, he's [Luigi] got a wrench!
Officer 1: Take him down!
[Officers shoot Luigi.]
Mario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! He's-a marinating in his own Ragù! You killed-a my brother! You sons of-a bitches! [grabs a machine gun and shoots everything in his way.]
[The army and SWAT show up.]
Mario: You'll never take me alive, you mother f--[everyone shoots him.]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Yoshi: [on go-kart; looks at the two roads and goes right; sign says "Raccoon City] Hmmm...Raccoon City sounds lovely! [in the city; looks like a warzone; zombies appear and eat Yoshi]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Recording Producer: Okay, lets take it from the top.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: [singing in comically deep "terrible" voices] Christmas, Christmas time is hereTime for nuts and time for beer
David Seville: [Still hearing their "terrible" voices] Aw, they're just so terrible! They've eaten me out of house and home! They've got to go!
[David throws a canister of deadly helium into the recording booth, which causes the Chipmunks' voices to become extremely high and much better.]
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Christmas, Christmas, poop-de-poopDon't buy me a hula hoop
David: They're fantastic!
Recording Producer: This could sell thousands of albums.
David: [noticing that the Chipmunks have collapsed from inhaling too much helium] Oh right... the deadly helium.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: [singing in comically deep "terrible" voices] Christmas, Christmas time is hereTime for nuts and time for beer
David Seville: [Still hearing their "terrible" voices] Aw, they're just so terrible! They've eaten me out of house and home! They've got to go!
[David throws a canister of deadly helium into the recording booth, which causes the Chipmunks' voices to become extremely high and much better.]
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Christmas, Christmas, poop-de-poopDon't buy me a hula hoop
David: They're fantastic!
Recording Producer: This could sell thousands of albums.
David: [noticing that the Chipmunks have collapsed from inhaling too much helium] Oh right... the deadly helium.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Man: She'll have the chef salad and I'll have... I'll have the steak.
Lobster: Yeah, yeah you better order the steak punk, don't want none o' this bitch, take these rubberbands off an' I'ma go clack-clack all up in your face mother--
Lobster: Yeah, yeah you better order the steak punk, don't want none o' this bitch, take these rubberbands off an' I'ma go clack-clack all up in your face mother--
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Big Bird: Uugh! I feel like I'm gonna blow up the chunks on bird seed. [vomits, then falls down.]
Elmo: Oh no, Big Bird has the bird flu!
Grover: The Word of the Day is Quarantine! Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E, Quarantine!
Elmo: Oh no, Big Bird has the bird flu!
Grover: The Word of the Day is Quarantine! Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E, Quarantine!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Big Bird; Snuffelupagus... is that you?
Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating.
Snuffy: Hi, Bird, I'm so sorry you're sick.
Big Bird: I'm scared, Snuffy, thank God you can't get it, since you're not real. [Big Bird then dies]
Snuffy: Yeah, thank G-- [disappears]
Count von Count: [Handing out vaccines to Bert and crew of Sesame Street] One vaccine, a-hah-hah, Two vaccines, a-hah-hah!
Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating.
Snuffy: Hi, Bird, I'm so sorry you're sick.
Big Bird: I'm scared, Snuffy, thank God you can't get it, since you're not real. [Big Bird then dies]
Snuffy: Yeah, thank G-- [disappears]
Count von Count: [Handing out vaccines to Bert and crew of Sesame Street] One vaccine, a-hah-hah, Two vaccines, a-hah-hah!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Three Kids: One of these kids is not like the other, one of these kids is dead!
Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letters C.D.C.
Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letters C.D.C.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Bee: Hey, boys and girls, remember to bee yourself. [pauses] And don't fuck with us or we'll sting you all at once and kill you.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Sock Puppet #1: Boy, being a sock puppet really sucks, huh?
Sock Puppet #2: Yeah, especially when your puppet master is a 14-year old boy who whacks off in your face every night.[The puppet master chuckles]
Sock Puppet #2: Yeah, especially when your puppet master is a 14-year old boy who whacks off in your face every night.[The puppet master chuckles]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Police Snail: [extremely slowly] You are going too fast! Pull over immediately!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Professor: [Laughing] Ah Projaq, you're a gift of former mad scientists everywhere; with your help I'll use my inventions for good, right boys?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Robot: Aw, being alive holds such amazing wonders!
Police Men: Freeze, uh hands a-above your head sir!
Robot: I love you all!
Police Men: Freeze, uh hands a-above your head sir!
Robot: I love you all!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Robot: I haven't seen anything so adorable in all my twenty minutes of life; come here you!
Professor: Well boys I hope you...oh my god!
Professor: Well boys I hope you...oh my god!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Police Men: Freeze copkiller!
Professor: What, no!
Police Men: There'd better be a reason!
Professor: What, no!
Police Men: There'd better be a reason!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Professor: [Struggling to stay up in gunfire] Aah no!
Announcer: Vanax, get your smile back; but without the desire to build giant robots
Announcer: Vanax, get your smile back; but without the desire to build giant robots
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mike Lazzo: Ratings are through the roof, bitches. We're fixin' to renew, y'all.
Matthew: That's what the fuck I'm talking about!
Keith Crofford: But at what cost?
Mike: You say something Keith?
Keith: No, no I didn't say anything. [Seth, as a zombie, smashes through window and starts to eat Keith's brains] Arrrgghh!!!!!!
Mike: Gravy cornbread!
Matthew: Holy fucking ass-crackers!
[Mike and Matthew run towards the elevator]
Mike: Oh, fuck!
Matthew: (repeately pushing the elevator button) Come on, come on, coommee oonnn...
[Seth, writers and characters break through walls and ceiling, after Matthew and Mike]
Mike: Dang it! What do we do now?
Matthew: I've got an idea! [pushes Mike into the zombies]
Mike: Aw, you rattlesnake!! [eaten by zombies]
Matthew: [jumps in elevator] Yes! [Matthew exit the elevator, approaches a locked door; tried to open but still locked] No!
[the zombies wait patiently and quietly in the elevator]
Matthew: Noo!!! [Seth and other zombies exit the elveator; Matthew picks up his cell phone, reading the message WOW] Wow! Oh, wait. Oh, it's just Mom.
[the zombies dance to the ringtone, resembling the dance from Michael Jackson's Thriller. Suddenly the ringtone stops.]
Matthew: No!!!! [the zombies stop dancing and are going to eat Matthew's brain] Look at the new contract! We get health benefits! Oh God, please don't eat my brains!
[Seth grabs the contract and discussing with the other zombies about health benefits. Cut to the writers lounge]
Mike Fasolo: [sighs] Smells like wet garbage in here.
Matthew: Yo, what do you guys want for lunch today?
Seth (zombie): Brains!
Doug (zombie): Brains!
Mike: Subway.
Tom (
Matthew: That's what the fuck I'm talking about!
Keith Crofford: But at what cost?
Mike: You say something Keith?
Keith: No, no I didn't say anything. [Seth, as a zombie, smashes through window and starts to eat Keith's brains] Arrrgghh!!!!!!
Mike: Gravy cornbread!
Matthew: Holy fucking ass-crackers!
[Mike and Matthew run towards the elevator]
Mike: Oh, fuck!
Matthew: (repeately pushing the elevator button) Come on, come on, coommee oonnn...
[Seth, writers and characters break through walls and ceiling, after Matthew and Mike]
Mike: Dang it! What do we do now?
Matthew: I've got an idea! [pushes Mike into the zombies]
Mike: Aw, you rattlesnake!! [eaten by zombies]
Matthew: [jumps in elevator] Yes! [Matthew exit the elevator, approaches a locked door; tried to open but still locked] No!
[the zombies wait patiently and quietly in the elevator]
Matthew: Noo!!! [Seth and other zombies exit the elveator; Matthew picks up his cell phone, reading the message WOW] Wow! Oh, wait. Oh, it's just Mom.
[the zombies dance to the ringtone, resembling the dance from Michael Jackson's Thriller. Suddenly the ringtone stops.]
Matthew: No!!!! [the zombies stop dancing and are going to eat Matthew's brain] Look at the new contract! We get health benefits! Oh God, please don't eat my brains!
[Seth grabs the contract and discussing with the other zombies about health benefits. Cut to the writers lounge]
Mike Fasolo: [sighs] Smells like wet garbage in here.
Matthew: Yo, what do you guys want for lunch today?
Seth (zombie): Brains!
Doug (zombie): Brains!
Mike: Subway.
Tom (
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Isaac Newton: Motherfucking, piece of shit! Take that! [roars as he plucks the tree and then throws it out]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Monster: Are you Timmy? [The little boy shakes his head no.] Dammit! I'll find him. [dissapears back in the toliet.]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Doc: Well, my dog is always barking at that hole. So I figured there must be something down there.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Exterminator: Rats, snakes. Could be any number of reasons to overbill you, but I've got something that'll fix the problem.
TV Show: Robot Chicken