Metalocalypse Quotes
Nathan: I just don't want some guy with no reason to live fuck with my mouth, you know what I mean?
Toki: Why can'ts it be a ladies boobs whats cleans your teeth?
[pause, then Murderface and Nathan start chuckling]
Murderface: You know, usually...
Nathan: Usually you have really bad ideas, but that-
Murderface: That's a billion-dollar idea.
Nathan: Cleaning your teeth with tits!
Toki: Why can'ts it be a ladies boobs whats cleans your teeth?
[pause, then Murderface and Nathan start chuckling]
Murderface: You know, usually...
Nathan: Usually you have really bad ideas, but that-
Murderface: That's a billion-dollar idea.
Nathan: Cleaning your teeth with tits!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: Dudes, we party too hard, so our bodies are in terrible shape. We gotta trick the doctor by making it seem like we're in really good shape. And there's only one way to do that. Bleach. [holds up a jug of bleach] Here, drink this Murderface. [hands it to Murderface]
Skwisgaar: Uhh, maybe this ams a stupid question, buts, why don'ts we just pours bleach into our cups of...urines?
Pickles: [looking angry at the suggestion] No! Drink the bleach!
Nathan: Bleach is healthy. It's mostly water. And we are mostly water. Therefore, we are bleach.
Skwisgaar: Uhh, maybe this ams a stupid question, buts, why don'ts we just pours bleach into our cups of...urines?
Pickles: [looking angry at the suggestion] No! Drink the bleach!
Nathan: Bleach is healthy. It's mostly water. And we are mostly water. Therefore, we are bleach.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface Guys, I gotta direct this all back to me for a second, Okay?. Look... A doctor jacked me off in his face, and the more I think about it, the less okay I am with it. You know what i'm saying?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Charles: All right guys, uh, we just got some test results back from the lab and, uh, Pickles you're not dying.
Pickles: [drunk and high] Oohh, I'm nat dyiiing?
Charles: There's something wrong with your urine, what happened?
Pickles: Ohh! I switched my pee with Murderface!
Murderface: That's not my pee, I switched with Skwisgaar.
Skwisgaar: Well it's not me, I switched mines with Nathan's.
Nathan: Well it's not me, I switched mine with Toki.
Toki: I switched my pee with my cat's pee and he's right- [the cat is dead] OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, HE'S DEAD! OH NOOOO! That cat was the bestest friends I ever hads! [faints]
Pickles: [drunk and high] Oohh, I'm nat dyiiing?
Charles: There's something wrong with your urine, what happened?
Pickles: Ohh! I switched my pee with Murderface!
Murderface: That's not my pee, I switched with Skwisgaar.
Skwisgaar: Well it's not me, I switched mines with Nathan's.
Nathan: Well it's not me, I switched mine with Toki.
Toki: I switched my pee with my cat's pee and he's right- [the cat is dead] OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, HE'S DEAD! OH NOOOO! That cat was the bestest friends I ever hads! [faints]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan Explosion: Hey man I gotta tell ya. One of the coolest hunting trips I've ever been on.
Dentist: I'm really glad we've become pals, Mr. Explosion. Check this out. [sticks his rifle in his mouth and kills himself]
Dentist: I'm really glad we've become pals, Mr. Explosion. Check this out. [sticks his rifle in his mouth and kills himself]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: WHAT YOU MEAN WE CAN'TS DO SECRETS SANTAS?!
Nathan: Toki, how many times do we have to go over this?
Skwisgaar: We don'ts thinks it ams Metal to bes nice to each others.
Toki: AND I FUCKING DO!
Pickles: Toki, why don't you drop it? You're just driving us fucking crazy.
Toki: I ain'ts listens to yous no more! I'm going shoppings. Yes! Shoppings! To buys each and every ones of yous a gifts. And I wants to see the looks on all your fat fucking faces, when I gets you great presents! Ha ha! Fucks you! [leaves]
Nathan: I don't believe I've ever been spoken to like that before.
Nathan: Toki, how many times do we have to go over this?
Skwisgaar: We don'ts thinks it ams Metal to bes nice to each others.
Toki: AND I FUCKING DO!
Pickles: Toki, why don't you drop it? You're just driving us fucking crazy.
Toki: I ain'ts listens to yous no more! I'm going shoppings. Yes! Shoppings! To buys each and every ones of yous a gifts. And I wants to see the looks on all your fat fucking faces, when I gets you great presents! Ha ha! Fucks you! [leaves]
Nathan: I don't believe I've ever been spoken to like that before.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Fuck Tokis. Christmas trees. This amn't brutal.
Nathan: Well, you know what? It's growing on me. It's like having a rotting corpse in your house, but the corpse of a tree, you know? It's kind of baddass. It stands and then you humiliate it even further by hanging ornaments all over it, like "Fuck you."
Pickles: Y'know, when you say it like that it makes sense, but still... it-it still sucks, y'know?
Klokateer: Shall I burn it, my lords?
Nathan: No, leave it. Just throw some rotting meat on it and pour some pig's blood on it or whatever, you know. It'll be bearable, I guess.
Nathan: Well, you know what? It's growing on me. It's like having a rotting corpse in your house, but the corpse of a tree, you know? It's kind of baddass. It stands and then you humiliate it even further by hanging ornaments all over it, like "Fuck you."
Pickles: Y'know, when you say it like that it makes sense, but still... it-it still sucks, y'know?
Klokateer: Shall I burn it, my lords?
Nathan: No, leave it. Just throw some rotting meat on it and pour some pig's blood on it or whatever, you know. It'll be bearable, I guess.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
(Dethklok's mothers are busy decorating the Mordhaus Rec Room. Sveltana Skwigelf is bent over, wrapping a present, as Murderface leers at her buttocks lecherously. Skwisgaar is drinking a bottle of vodka, looking rather irritated)
Nathan: Hey Skwisgaar, Murderface is eyeing up your mom like a fucking piece of meat.
Skwisgaar: (sourly) Yes. I am noticings this. Thats is whys I am drinking.
Nathan: Hey Skwisgaar, Murderface is eyeing up your mom like a fucking piece of meat.
Skwisgaar: (sourly) Yes. I am noticings this. Thats is whys I am drinking.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: [enters meeting room] Whats I miss?
Murderface: TOKI! Why do you smell like piss and cocaine?
Toki: Oh that's not me.
Dr. Rockso: Oh k-k-k-k-k-k-k-Hanukkah! A-k-k-k-k-hello!
Murderface: TOKI! Why do you smell like piss and cocaine?
Toki: Oh that's not me.
Dr. Rockso: Oh k-k-k-k-k-k-k-Hanukkah! A-k-k-k-k-hello!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Dr. Rockso?
Dr. Rockso: [sitting by a full bathtub, going through withdrawals] Oh, Dr. Rockso not feelin' so good... Oh, give me some Christmas spirit in here!
Toki: [kneels by Rockso] For the records, Dr. Rockso I can'ts gets you drugs, thats would be enables you... But I loves you, even though you ams powerless.
Dr. Rockso: [hugs Toki] R-R-Rockso l-loves you too, baby. [shoves Toki's head under the water] NOW YOU GET ME THOSE FUCKING DRUGS!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!! YOU HEAR ME?! I'll fuckin- [faints]
Dr. Rockso: [sitting by a full bathtub, going through withdrawals] Oh, Dr. Rockso not feelin' so good... Oh, give me some Christmas spirit in here!
Toki: [kneels by Rockso] For the records, Dr. Rockso I can'ts gets you drugs, thats would be enables you... But I loves you, even though you ams powerless.
Dr. Rockso: [hugs Toki] R-R-Rockso l-loves you too, baby. [shoves Toki's head under the water] NOW YOU GET ME THOSE FUCKING DRUGS!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!! YOU HEAR ME?! I'll fuckin- [faints]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Molly: You just missed another spot.
Rose: How many times are you going to pass that spot?!
Nathan: [driving] Where? Which one?
Rose: Back there! For God's sake! [Nathan backs up]
Nathan: I can't see with all these people in here! [another car takes the spot referred to]
Stella: Too late! You blew it!
Molly: Fantastic! [Nathan drives some more around the parking lot]
Murderface: Ahh, Grandma, he's just trying to drive! Leave him alone and back off!
Molly: We don't speak to our grandmothers that way! Take this! [slaps Murderface]
Murderface: OWWW!
Pickles: Mom! Don't smack Murderface! [gets slapped] Ow!
Rose: Quick! TUrn!
Rose: How many times are you going to pass that spot?!
Nathan: [driving] Where? Which one?
Rose: Back there! For God's sake! [Nathan backs up]
Nathan: I can't see with all these people in here! [another car takes the spot referred to]
Stella: Too late! You blew it!
Molly: Fantastic! [Nathan drives some more around the parking lot]
Murderface: Ahh, Grandma, he's just trying to drive! Leave him alone and back off!
Molly: We don't speak to our grandmothers that way! Take this! [slaps Murderface]
Murderface: OWWW!
Pickles: Mom! Don't smack Murderface! [gets slapped] Ow!
Rose: Quick! TUrn!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
[Occupant of Other Car] What the hell? You hit my car!
Nathan: Hey! I have four mothers telling me how to drive! What's your excuse, asshole?!
Stella: Tell him you're sorry.
Nathan: I'm sorry!
Nathan: Hey! I have four mothers telling me how to drive! What's your excuse, asshole?!
Stella: Tell him you're sorry.
Nathan: I'm sorry!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Dr. Rockso: [to a drug dealer] COme one man, hurry up. I got something to do. Guess what? Cocaine!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Dr. Rockso: [walking with joy] Yoo-hoo! You know what I do, baby! And I'm doing it! Snorting cocaine! [to a Hot Dog stand salesman] Hey, Johnny hot dog! Guess what I do! COCAINE! He didn't even answer. [to a shoe-shining man] Hey, shoe-shine boy! [takes out his bag of cocaine] Wanna check me out with some of this here, cocaine![to a large rodent] Hey Mr. zoo animal! Check this out! [holds up his bag of cocaine] Cocaine! [to a little boy holding a red balloon] Hey little boy with the b-b-b-b-balloon! Check this out! [whispers] Cocaine! Don't tell nobody! [to a Police Officer near the boy] Hey Mr. Police- Uh-oh!! [hides the cocaine bag behind his back]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Knubbler: I bring some wonderful frankincense.
Murderface: Great. That's what I got him!
Knubbler: How do you like that? We both got him the same thing.
Murderface: Ohhh Lord!
Knubbler: Hey! That's blasphemy!
Murderface: Great. That's what I got him!
Knubbler: How do you like that? We both got him the same thing.
Murderface: Ohhh Lord!
Knubbler: Hey! That's blasphemy!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: No, I mean 'Oh, Lord! Right there!' A miracle has been bestowed upon us this day!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Maybe he can stop blessing us, something's starting to smell bad.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
[Murderface and Knubbler are sitting on the couch in a skit]
Knubbler: Looks like another wonderful, but lonely Christmas Eve with just you and me, right old pal?
Murderface: Yup. Looks like the two of us, again.
[doorbell rings]
Knubbler: Oh I guess you know what that sound means...
Murderface: Oh, the Christmas goose is finished getting microwaved?
[studio laughter]
knubbler: Noooo. It means we have some guests!
[door opens and Dethklok's mothers enter the scene very drunk d espite Dethklok locking all the booze away.]
Stella: Well hellooooo....
Knubbler: It's Dethklok's mothers!
Murderface: [aggravated] And they've been drinking! Yeah, uh take your time staggering in. Like this ain't live TV or anything.
Knubbler: Yes, who would have thought that Dethklok would have mothers? Ha ha...yes...
[doorbell rings]
Murderface: I'll get it! Wouldn't it be great if it was more friendly guests?
opens the door to see Nathan Explosion, who punches Murderface in his face]
Nathan: Why didn't you tell me that this thing was being sponsored by religion? That's not fucking cool dude. [enters]
[Murderface laughs nervously]
Knubbler: Hey watch the F-bombs all right? This...was written, this was written...
[doorbell rings; Dr. Rockso enters]
Dr. Rockso: Oh-k-k-k-k-k-Rockso! Made his way onto the lot with the Christmas party baby!
Toki: [enraged] Oh Rockso, you fucking piece of shits! You stole the Christmas presents! I FUCKING KILLS YOU ROCKSO!!!
Stella: Out of my way, here it comes! [crashes her Rascal into a big wooden cross, crushing both her and Toki]
Toki: <
Knubbler: Looks like another wonderful, but lonely Christmas Eve with just you and me, right old pal?
Murderface: Yup. Looks like the two of us, again.
[doorbell rings]
Knubbler: Oh I guess you know what that sound means...
Murderface: Oh, the Christmas goose is finished getting microwaved?
[studio laughter]
knubbler: Noooo. It means we have some guests!
[door opens and Dethklok's mothers enter the scene very drunk d espite Dethklok locking all the booze away.]
Stella: Well hellooooo....
Knubbler: It's Dethklok's mothers!
Murderface: [aggravated] And they've been drinking! Yeah, uh take your time staggering in. Like this ain't live TV or anything.
Knubbler: Yes, who would have thought that Dethklok would have mothers? Ha ha...yes...
[doorbell rings]
Murderface: I'll get it! Wouldn't it be great if it was more friendly guests?
opens the door to see Nathan Explosion, who punches Murderface in his face]
Nathan: Why didn't you tell me that this thing was being sponsored by religion? That's not fucking cool dude. [enters]
[Murderface laughs nervously]
Knubbler: Hey watch the F-bombs all right? This...was written, this was written...
[doorbell rings; Dr. Rockso enters]
Dr. Rockso: Oh-k-k-k-k-k-Rockso! Made his way onto the lot with the Christmas party baby!
Toki: [enraged] Oh Rockso, you fucking piece of shits! You stole the Christmas presents! I FUCKING KILLS YOU ROCKSO!!!
Stella: Out of my way, here it comes! [crashes her Rascal into a big wooden cross, crushing both her and Toki]
Toki: <
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Dr. Rockso: Hey, Swisgaar, check it out! I'm getting a handj-j-job from your m-m-m-mom!
Skwisgaar: Moms, nooo! [plays his guitar quickly as a way to cope]
Dr. Rockso: Oh, she's got that Swedish grip, too! Just like you play that guitar. Ohhh, fiddly widdly widdly oooh...
Skwisgaar: Moms, nooo! [plays his guitar quickly as a way to cope]
Dr. Rockso: Oh, she's got that Swedish grip, too! Just like you play that guitar. Ohhh, fiddly widdly widdly oooh...
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Charles: So, uh, I think we should,uh, be a little sensitive towards Skwisgaar, he's going through a lot, you know, uh... He's started searching for his biological father so... maybe we should show a little bit of affection towards him.
Toki: Ha ha! That's-that's gays...
Nathan: Oh man, don't say "showing affection" and expect us to fucking react.
Charles: Okay, well guys listen, I mean think about it. Skwisgaar never had a father, alright?
Toki: So? My dads just died!
[flashback to the traumatic death of Toki's father under the ice]
[present]
Toki: .... [smiles] And I'm totally cools with it!
Charles: Guys, I'm saying he never even had-
Muderface: My father's dead and I'm totally fine!
[flashback to baby Murderface witnessing his father's murder/suicide]
[present]
Murderface: .... I love that my dad's dead.
Pickles: Look, I got no relationship with my dad, other than I hate him, y'know?
[flashback to teenage Pickles ready to run away, his father looking at him hatefully]
Calvert: Get out of here, you belong in a garbage can!
[Pickles glares and looks ready to cry]
[present]
Pickles: Y'know I realized the other day that I don't even know his first name. And I'm proud, I'm proud to know that I don't know that.
Charles: All right, I get it, fine, you're all without fathers, all right-
Nathan: I'm not... [smiles] I fucking love my dad.
[Flashback to Nathan and his father going fishing, racing go-carts, and playing Scrabble, enjoying each others company.]
Nathan: My dad's fucking awesome.
Toki: Ha ha! That's-that's gays...
Nathan: Oh man, don't say "showing affection" and expect us to fucking react.
Charles: Okay, well guys listen, I mean think about it. Skwisgaar never had a father, alright?
Toki: So? My dads just died!
[flashback to the traumatic death of Toki's father under the ice]
[present]
Toki: .... [smiles] And I'm totally cools with it!
Charles: Guys, I'm saying he never even had-
Muderface: My father's dead and I'm totally fine!
[flashback to baby Murderface witnessing his father's murder/suicide]
[present]
Murderface: .... I love that my dad's dead.
Pickles: Look, I got no relationship with my dad, other than I hate him, y'know?
[flashback to teenage Pickles ready to run away, his father looking at him hatefully]
Calvert: Get out of here, you belong in a garbage can!
[Pickles glares and looks ready to cry]
[present]
Pickles: Y'know I realized the other day that I don't even know his first name. And I'm proud, I'm proud to know that I don't know that.
Charles: All right, I get it, fine, you're all without fathers, all right-
Nathan: I'm not... [smiles] I fucking love my dad.
[Flashback to Nathan and his father going fishing, racing go-carts, and playing Scrabble, enjoying each others company.]
Nathan: My dad's fucking awesome.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: I don't wants to sounds insensitives, but I means, if Skwisgaar doesn't gets his craps togethers I may really has a shots at beings the leads guitarist! Mes, Tokis! Finallys ams no mores in the shadows! What do you thinks about that, Pickle?
Pickles: Toki, don't you think it's a little early to start jumping to conclusions?
Toki: .... [angrily] Jumps to conclusions?! Whats the fucks is thats supposed to means, huh?!
Pickles: Nothing, nothing-
[Toki grabs Pickles by the shirt and shakes him]
Toki: You listens to me, when I's becomes lead guitarists things whats has gots to change arounds here!
Pickles: Fine, fine! Just let go of me, you're squeezing my nipples off!
Toki: I'm sorry!
Pickles: Don't get physical with people!
Pickles: Toki, don't you think it's a little early to start jumping to conclusions?
Toki: .... [angrily] Jumps to conclusions?! Whats the fucks is thats supposed to means, huh?!
Pickles: Nothing, nothing-
[Toki grabs Pickles by the shirt and shakes him]
Toki: You listens to me, when I's becomes lead guitarists things whats has gots to change arounds here!
Pickles: Fine, fine! Just let go of me, you're squeezing my nipples off!
Toki: I'm sorry!
Pickles: Don't get physical with people!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
[Skwisgaar is in his bed with two young and one old lady. A Klokateer enters]
Skwisgaar: Any news on my fathers?
Klokateer: I'm sorry my lord, but none of the DNA tests match.
Skwisgaar: Ugh...
Klokateer: All those thousands of men managed to ejaculate into your mother without being your father. He must still be out there, but he hasn't come forward. All those men... All that ejaculate-
Skwisgaar: [grossed out] Yes, thank you, I understands! Just... please leaves me be.
Old Lady: Hey, what about us? When will we be satisfied?
Skwisgaar: I never thought I would say this, but... I'm nots in the mood.
Skwisgaar: Any news on my fathers?
Klokateer: I'm sorry my lord, but none of the DNA tests match.
Skwisgaar: Ugh...
Klokateer: All those thousands of men managed to ejaculate into your mother without being your father. He must still be out there, but he hasn't come forward. All those men... All that ejaculate-
Skwisgaar: [grossed out] Yes, thank you, I understands! Just... please leaves me be.
Old Lady: Hey, what about us? When will we be satisfied?
Skwisgaar: I never thought I would say this, but... I'm nots in the mood.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Comedian: And William Murderface! What's it like spending a day with actual musicians? [Murderface says nothing, while everyone around him laughs] All those years and nothing's rubbed off?
Nathan: [laughing hard] Yeah!
Comedian: Seriously folks, what do you throw a drowning bass player? His amp!
Nathan: [laughing hard] Yeah!
Comedian: Seriously folks, what do you throw a drowning bass player? His amp!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Comedian: And Skwisgaar Skwigelf! You fuck more woman than breast cancer! [more laughs] I'm kidding of course, but back to Murderface. After selling krillions of records, its refreshing to see, that women still won't fuck you! [more laughs, William just looks on] Skinky crack whores who need the money are like, "no thanks."
Murderface: [softly] That's not true.
Murderface: [softly] That's not true.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Guys I'm nervous. I don'ts even knows how to go abouts this findings a lady business.
Nathan: Oh Toki, that is cute. That's precious.
Pickles: You need some datin' advice from your pals.
Toki: Oh thats would be very helpful Pickle.
Pickles: Okay, well, heres what you do to meet a lady, alright? You get your tour manager to find you some chick and when he brings her backstage you pull out your dick!
Skwisgaar: Ja, you pulls out your dicks!
Toki: Pulls out your-? Guys, I'm talkings abouts real dates here.
Pickles: How is that not a real date?
Nathan: Yeah, how is that not a real date Toki?
Toki: A date's wheres you actually talks to a girl, and she says stuffs, and you asks her questions, and she talks back-
Skwisgaar: Questions, waits a minute, questions?! You means like whens we're in courts questions?
Nathan: Oh Toki, that is cute. That's precious.
Pickles: You need some datin' advice from your pals.
Toki: Oh thats would be very helpful Pickle.
Pickles: Okay, well, heres what you do to meet a lady, alright? You get your tour manager to find you some chick and when he brings her backstage you pull out your dick!
Skwisgaar: Ja, you pulls out your dicks!
Toki: Pulls out your-? Guys, I'm talkings abouts real dates here.
Pickles: How is that not a real date?
Nathan: Yeah, how is that not a real date Toki?
Toki: A date's wheres you actually talks to a girl, and she says stuffs, and you asks her questions, and she talks back-
Skwisgaar: Questions, waits a minute, questions?! You means like whens we're in courts questions?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
eLadyMates Consultant: Mr. Wartooth, our company is very serious about finding their clients a life-ladymate partner.
Toki: Life-ladymates partner.
Consultant: Yes. We're confident that our matching system is so solid that we give a 100% guarantee.
Toki: Well, that ams some impressive numbers, buts I'm lookings not onlys for a friends but also a companions and the mothers to my childrens.
Consultant: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem.
Toki: ....That's it?
Consultant: Yes, sir.
Toki: Huh.
Consultant: We can pinpoint your future ladymate partner's fertility to the second.
Murderface: Not to brag, but I can pinpoint my fertility, too. All I need is some lotion and a little DSL-quality internet and some napkins. [Toki looks mortified and the consultant shocked] I'm kidding, of course! Keep going.
Toki: I tolds you you could comes in if you didn'ts ruins my meeting.
Murderface: I think I'm enhancing the meeting. [Toki covers his eyes with his hand in embarrassment] Look, sir, I just want to meet like a hundred girls and fuck the bajeesus out of them. So, uh, can we set up an account here or something?
Consultant: We don't do that here. This is for lifemates.
Murderface: Damn! This is not gonna be easy.
Toki: Just waits in the fucking lobby!
Murderface: Sorry! Gaaaah! [to consultant] You better find this guy some pussy because he is really-
Toki: WILL YOU FUCKINGS GETS OUT OF HERE?!?!
Toki: Life-ladymates partner.
Consultant: Yes. We're confident that our matching system is so solid that we give a 100% guarantee.
Toki: Well, that ams some impressive numbers, buts I'm lookings not onlys for a friends but also a companions and the mothers to my childrens.
Consultant: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem.
Toki: ....That's it?
Consultant: Yes, sir.
Toki: Huh.
Consultant: We can pinpoint your future ladymate partner's fertility to the second.
Murderface: Not to brag, but I can pinpoint my fertility, too. All I need is some lotion and a little DSL-quality internet and some napkins. [Toki looks mortified and the consultant shocked] I'm kidding, of course! Keep going.
Toki: I tolds you you could comes in if you didn'ts ruins my meeting.
Murderface: I think I'm enhancing the meeting. [Toki covers his eyes with his hand in embarrassment] Look, sir, I just want to meet like a hundred girls and fuck the bajeesus out of them. So, uh, can we set up an account here or something?
Consultant: We don't do that here. This is for lifemates.
Murderface: Damn! This is not gonna be easy.
Toki: Just waits in the fucking lobby!
Murderface: Sorry! Gaaaah! [to consultant] You better find this guy some pussy because he is really-
Toki: WILL YOU FUCKINGS GETS OUT OF HERE?!?!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Caroline: Great date. Oh, here's my fertility chart.
Toki: Oh, it's a-... Really?
Caroline: The 15th. You'll have to keep it open.
Toki: The 15ths?
Caroline: Oh, that's when we'll have intercourse.
Toki: Inst-instecourse? I means we just barelys mets.
Caroline: I like the name Wilthmore or Donnington.
Toki: For whats?
Caroline: For our baby. I've gotta go. Looking forward to our long, long future together lifemate.
Toki: ...Oh...
Caroline: Don't forget to keep the 15th open so you can deposit your sperm into my vagina with your penis.
Toki: ....... Okay.....
Toki: Oh, it's a-... Really?
Caroline: The 15th. You'll have to keep it open.
Toki: The 15ths?
Caroline: Oh, that's when we'll have intercourse.
Toki: Inst-instecourse? I means we just barelys mets.
Caroline: I like the name Wilthmore or Donnington.
Toki: For whats?
Caroline: For our baby. I've gotta go. Looking forward to our long, long future together lifemate.
Toki: ...Oh...
Caroline: Don't forget to keep the 15th open so you can deposit your sperm into my vagina with your penis.
Toki: ....... Okay.....
TV Show: Metalocalypse