Metalocalypse Quotes
Pickles: IT'S US, DETHKLOK, STRANDED OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
Murderface: Oh, I hope they brought some fuckin' food!
Nathan: I feel like eating cheese. Like, really fancy cheese, what's the name of that cheese, Renoir?
Pickles: Yeah, I could do that. Maybe a little Kool-Aid of, you know... of the, you know, the grape, persuasion...
Nathan: That's what I'm talkin' about!
Murderface: Oh, I hope they brought some fuckin' food!
Nathan: I feel like eating cheese. Like, really fancy cheese, what's the name of that cheese, Renoir?
Pickles: Yeah, I could do that. Maybe a little Kool-Aid of, you know... of the, you know, the grape, persuasion...
Nathan: That's what I'm talkin' about!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Oh look, firecrackers!
Nathan: Oh, let's steal them!
Murderface: I remember when I was a child -
Nathan: Oh, let's steal them!
Murderface: I remember when I was a child -
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: I'm just sayings I can hears you guitars ringing out in my monitor mix, yous are half-assing!
Toki: [offended] How dare you! I'm sellin' it - You - I'm kicking ass! You just stand there! [makes a noise] Just boring! I'm rocking it every -
Skwisgaar: Yeah, well that's the expense of sloppys playing. You see Toki -
Toki: [offended] How dare you! I'm sellin' it - You - I'm kicking ass! You just stand there! [makes a noise] Just boring! I'm rocking it every -
Skwisgaar: Yeah, well that's the expense of sloppys playing. You see Toki -
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Assassin: [aiming handguns at Toki and Skwisgaar] It's time to die!
Skwisgaar: I will seesk you in Valhalska.
Toki: ... I've always hated you, Skwisgaar...
Skwisgaar: I knows, Toki... I knows.
Skwisgaar: I will seesk you in Valhalska.
Toki: ... I've always hated you, Skwisgaar...
Skwisgaar: I knows, Toki... I knows.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
General Crozier: It's time.
Cardinal Ravenwood: No! We must-a pray first! Or it will be devastating!
General Crozier: Do it. Now.
Cardinal Ravenwood: Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur -
Cardinal Ravenwood: No! We must-a pray first! Or it will be devastating!
General Crozier: Do it. Now.
Cardinal Ravenwood: Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur -
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Mr. Selatcia: [to the unconscious Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface] We will meet again.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
The President: It pains me that I do not have the ability to bring Dethklok back to the public. Therefore, I give you this. [pulls out a shotgun and shoots himself in the mouth, and begins gurgling.]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: Gentlemen, I have the recording schedules right here, you'll see that we need to get started on the new record pretty soon, so- [Dethklok is not paying any attention to him, the only sound is William's knife on a plate] uh... nothin'?
Pickles: Can you just at least ask us how we're doing, or something? you know, before you start with all this...robotic crap? I mean am I wrong?-
William: Yeah you're all like, "Here's the schedule and now get to work you ugly humps!" Ugly humps?
Pickles: You're like a robot. You're like an...emotionless robot.
Nathan: Yeah. He is a robot.
Skwisgaar: Robot.
Nathan: You're a robot.
William: Robots are not to be trusted.
Ofdensen: Okay, fine, uh. How are...all of you?
Skwisgaar: Hows ares wes? WES IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVINGS A FUCKING DINNERS MEAL! DATS HOWS WE AM!
Pickles: Can you just at least ask us how we're doing, or something? you know, before you start with all this...robotic crap? I mean am I wrong?-
William: Yeah you're all like, "Here's the schedule and now get to work you ugly humps!" Ugly humps?
Pickles: You're like a robot. You're like an...emotionless robot.
Nathan: Yeah. He is a robot.
Skwisgaar: Robot.
Nathan: You're a robot.
William: Robots are not to be trusted.
Ofdensen: Okay, fine, uh. How are...all of you?
Skwisgaar: Hows ares wes? WES IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVINGS A FUCKING DINNERS MEAL! DATS HOWS WE AM!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: Toki you may clear the table, when you feel that it's time.
Toki: Any of you guys mind if I mace this stupid turkey?
Pickles: Awww, go ahead. I don't want no more.
Toki: OH YEAH! [maces the turkey with a device attached to his crotch] Take that you stupid turkey! Right in you face!
Ofdensen: Uhhh...I'm sorry, what is that?
Toki: Oh this a Pelvic Thrust Mace Belt.
Toki: Any of you guys mind if I mace this stupid turkey?
Pickles: Awww, go ahead. I don't want no more.
Toki: OH YEAH! [maces the turkey with a device attached to his crotch] Take that you stupid turkey! Right in you face!
Ofdensen: Uhhh...I'm sorry, what is that?
Toki: Oh this a Pelvic Thrust Mace Belt.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: Don't you take away my ability to have tantrums! Alright? That you cannot have! Alright?! YOU ROBOT!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: I... must say I have never seen you this reclusive and moody before. But, there must be something we can do to get you guys back out there playing shows.
Toki: Well what of the fans out there who wanna kill us?
Ofdensen: Well there won't be. I have a proposal, I think you'll be interested in since your concern with security has increased. A number of criminals are to be executed soon, and the prison system has asked you to perform at this execution because-
Nathan: Nooooo. Pass.
Ofdensen: And they want you to pick how they're executed.
Toki: Well what of the fans out there who wanna kill us?
Ofdensen: Well there won't be. I have a proposal, I think you'll be interested in since your concern with security has increased. A number of criminals are to be executed soon, and the prison system has asked you to perform at this execution because-
Nathan: Nooooo. Pass.
Ofdensen: And they want you to pick how they're executed.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: AWWWWWWWW, AWWWWWWWWWW! DARN, THAT'S AWESOME! THAT'S REALLY AWESOME!
Ofdensen: Is this, uh, something you would, uh, consider, doing?
Nathan: [throws his bottle] URRRRR!!!!!!! YEAH! BUT IT'S GOTTA BE REALLY FUCKING BRUTAL!
Ofdensen: Is this, uh, something you would, uh, consider, doing?
Nathan: [throws his bottle] URRRRR!!!!!!! YEAH! BUT IT'S GOTTA BE REALLY FUCKING BRUTAL!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Charles: You wanted to, talk to me ?
Murderface: Oh yeah. Sit down.
Charles: No, thank you. I'll stand.
Nathan: Oh, We, We we wanted to say we're sorry. There. [chuckles] There you go. Get outta here.
Charles: You're sorry for... releasing dangerous criminals back into the streets ?
Nathan: No... about calling you a robot.
Toki: You're not a robot.
Nathan: No, you're not a robot.
Toki: Not a robot.
Murderface: No you are not... and we know that must have made you feel bad.
Charles: Mm hmm.
Skwisgaar: Ands listens you's the bests butler we's ever had so we no wants yous to quit.
Charles: I'm uh, not a butler... Nevermind. That's all then?
Pickles: That's it. I mean, uh, we're glad you forced us out there again. Y'know, it felt good. Y-y-y'know, couple of things I would have done differently though, y'know, whatever ...
Charles: You mean like, not blind the stage driver and crash it into a prison of dangerous criminals?
Pickles: Heheh - no, that was a happy accident. Eeehh.
Murderface: Oh yeah. Sit down.
Charles: No, thank you. I'll stand.
Nathan: Oh, We, We we wanted to say we're sorry. There. [chuckles] There you go. Get outta here.
Charles: You're sorry for... releasing dangerous criminals back into the streets ?
Nathan: No... about calling you a robot.
Toki: You're not a robot.
Nathan: No, you're not a robot.
Toki: Not a robot.
Murderface: No you are not... and we know that must have made you feel bad.
Charles: Mm hmm.
Skwisgaar: Ands listens you's the bests butler we's ever had so we no wants yous to quit.
Charles: I'm uh, not a butler... Nevermind. That's all then?
Pickles: That's it. I mean, uh, we're glad you forced us out there again. Y'know, it felt good. Y-y-y'know, couple of things I would have done differently though, y'know, whatever ...
Charles: You mean like, not blind the stage driver and crash it into a prison of dangerous criminals?
Pickles: Heheh - no, that was a happy accident. Eeehh.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: Oh, and remember, start thinking about that new record.
Murderface: ROBOT!
Murderface: ROBOT!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Hey! Whats the hells you doings right now?
Toki: Why its gots to be about you? Whats about my guitar playings?
Skwisgaar: Heh, Whats about it, you know?
Toki: I’m the guitarist too, Skwisgaar! Sometimes you forget. I wants to play the scales and the notes and everything likes you! But you don’ts lets me, YOU DON’TS LETS ME!!
Skwisgaar: You're totallys attacking me right now!
Toki: HE’S HOLDING ME BACKS EVERYBODY!! I’M A GUITARIST TOO!!! [throws down his guitar, and walks off.] You know it!
Toki: Why its gots to be about you? Whats about my guitar playings?
Skwisgaar: Heh, Whats about it, you know?
Toki: I’m the guitarist too, Skwisgaar! Sometimes you forget. I wants to play the scales and the notes and everything likes you! But you don’ts lets me, YOU DON’TS LETS ME!!
Skwisgaar: You're totallys attacking me right now!
Toki: HE’S HOLDING ME BACKS EVERYBODY!! I’M A GUITARIST TOO!!! [throws down his guitar, and walks off.] You know it!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: It should be clear at this point that Toki is concerned about his role in the band.
Nathan: What do you mean? He's, he's the rhythm guitar player, am I right?
Ofdensen: Yes, he, is, but he's been complaining that he doesn't get enough spotlight. And it's become apparent, uh, in the media. Take a look at that. [throws magazine down that reads "Will Toki go to War for More Notes?"]
Pickles: What does he care? He don't even practice or nothin'. He doesn't write. He just shows up. That guy doesn't do anything!
Nathan: HEY! He makes sandwiches alright?
William: I make sandwiches.
Nathan: WHOA! THAT GUY DOESN'T DO ANYTHING!
Ofdensen: Well, uh, he is a band member, so try to, be nice to him.
William: [contemptuously] HEY HEY! Why don't you just uhhh, why don't you just get out of here and let the big boys deal with this one. Or maybe just write it down in that stupid little book, you know, you file away with all receipts for your lollipops and your pretzels, idiot.
Ofdensen: [offended] Uhh... excuse me?
William: I'm just messing with you, man! [snickers]
Ofdensen: You uh, sure about that?
William: [ingenuinely]] Yeah, just pallin' around. Just being a little dick, you know.
Ofdensen: Fine then, good day. [leaves]
Pickles: Wow you are a DICK!
Nathan: Yeah you've got it down to a science!
William: You notice how I'm not mad. He gets mad. That's being a dick.
Nathan: It's amazing just to be able to manipulate like that. Wow! What a gift!
Pickles: How do you just turn it on like that?
William: Well, it, it takes years boys. I mean- Pickles, you got somethin
Nathan: What do you mean? He's, he's the rhythm guitar player, am I right?
Ofdensen: Yes, he, is, but he's been complaining that he doesn't get enough spotlight. And it's become apparent, uh, in the media. Take a look at that. [throws magazine down that reads "Will Toki go to War for More Notes?"]
Pickles: What does he care? He don't even practice or nothin'. He doesn't write. He just shows up. That guy doesn't do anything!
Nathan: HEY! He makes sandwiches alright?
William: I make sandwiches.
Nathan: WHOA! THAT GUY DOESN'T DO ANYTHING!
Ofdensen: Well, uh, he is a band member, so try to, be nice to him.
William: [contemptuously] HEY HEY! Why don't you just uhhh, why don't you just get out of here and let the big boys deal with this one. Or maybe just write it down in that stupid little book, you know, you file away with all receipts for your lollipops and your pretzels, idiot.
Ofdensen: [offended] Uhh... excuse me?
William: I'm just messing with you, man! [snickers]
Ofdensen: You uh, sure about that?
William: [ingenuinely]] Yeah, just pallin' around. Just being a little dick, you know.
Ofdensen: Fine then, good day. [leaves]
Pickles: Wow you are a DICK!
Nathan: Yeah you've got it down to a science!
William: You notice how I'm not mad. He gets mad. That's being a dick.
Nathan: It's amazing just to be able to manipulate like that. Wow! What a gift!
Pickles: How do you just turn it on like that?
William: Well, it, it takes years boys. I mean- Pickles, you got somethin
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Oh Toki, its adorables, you really wants to takes more solos, but I am the lead guitarist, you know, why? because I ams, hows do you says, way more gooders than you.
Toki: Dat's why I needs me a piano teacher!
Skwisgaar: You mean guitar teacher.
Toki: Dat's why I needs me a piano teacher!
Skwisgaar: You mean guitar teacher.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Looks looks, I give you guitar lesson huh? Takes you under my flippers, huh?
Toki: Wes not goes downs that dusty roads again!
Skwisgaar: What do you mean?
Toki: Wes not goes downs that dusty roads again!
Skwisgaar: What do you mean?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Okay Toki, plays mes a harmonic minor scales in the key of uh, D.
Toki: Oh, like this. [plays a single note]
Skwisgaar: [suddenly]WROOOOOOOOOOOOOONG![pulls a chord that sends a bucket of blood on Toki's head and they fight.]
Toki: Oh, like this. [plays a single note]
Skwisgaar: [suddenly]WROOOOOOOOOOOOOONG![pulls a chord that sends a bucket of blood on Toki's head and they fight.]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Stupid, Dumb, Dildo, Jack-off, Jerk, Tits, Ass! [stops] What's this? *Gasps* [sees a flyer that reads: Guitar Lessons from Guitar Master! All styles!- Contact: Dimneld Selftcark. Toki rips a piece of paper from the flyer. He reads the name aloud.] Dim..neld..Selft..cark...
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: *Gasps* Yous, amazings!
Guitar Teacher: Yeah, I guess I am, huh?
Toki: Gots to have lessons from you!
Guitar Teacher: Show me what you can do.
Toki: Oh yeah! [Looks around.] Oh no.
Guitar Teacher: Where’s your guitar, boy?
Toki: Thinks I lefts it at the Urban Outfitters.
Guitar Teacher: Hmm…Can I be honest with you? I don’t think you got it kid. I don’t think you got the discipline. To be great, it takes lots of practice, and you either got that fire in your belly, or you don’t.
Toki: But I dos! I dos! Looks, I needs my own guitar identitys. You gots to help me, Mr. Selftcark!
Guitar Teacher: Only, if you promise me you’ll go all the way. No short-cuts. No bull. All, or nothin’!
Toki: You gots the deal!
Guitar Teacher: Yeah, I guess I am, huh?
Toki: Gots to have lessons from you!
Guitar Teacher: Show me what you can do.
Toki: Oh yeah! [Looks around.] Oh no.
Guitar Teacher: Where’s your guitar, boy?
Toki: Thinks I lefts it at the Urban Outfitters.
Guitar Teacher: Hmm…Can I be honest with you? I don’t think you got it kid. I don’t think you got the discipline. To be great, it takes lots of practice, and you either got that fire in your belly, or you don’t.
Toki: But I dos! I dos! Looks, I needs my own guitar identitys. You gots to help me, Mr. Selftcark!
Guitar Teacher: Only, if you promise me you’ll go all the way. No short-cuts. No bull. All, or nothin’!
Toki: You gots the deal!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Senator Stampingston: It appears as if certain members of Dethklok are taking music lessons. Allow me to officially introduce Vater Orlaag, political and spiritual specialist.
Vater: Having two guitarists in the same band is potentially destructive by itself but when one attempts to take away the other's status, HA HA God help us. The clashing of these egos is like two warrior titans, it's like Clash of the Titans! [no response] Clash...of the Titans.
Vater: Having two guitarists in the same band is potentially destructive by itself but when one attempts to take away the other's status, HA HA God help us. The clashing of these egos is like two warrior titans, it's like Clash of the Titans! [no response] Clash...of the Titans.
TV Show: Metalocalypse