Criminal Minds Quotes

"Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: What was the password?
Garcia: Cullun. Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Ah, of course. Thanks Garcia.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Who's Cullun? Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: The family from the Twilight books.
Dr. Spencer Reid: What's Twilight?

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Derek Morgan: You're not enjoying this, are you?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I like a good paper-trail. I find it meditative.
Derek Morgan: Is it really that hard for you to be normal just one time?

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Derek Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at the physics mistakes.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek. Especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Derek Morgan: Right.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm with the FBI.
Trailer Park Manager: FBI? You're not serious. You look like a pipe-cleaner with eyes. I could snap you like a twig.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Dr. Spencer Reid: Dr. Norman said I could sleep on the couch in your room tonight if you want.
Diana Reid: [to Dr. Norman] If you try to keep him here any longer than that, I'll scratch your eyes out!
Dr. Norman: [to Spencer] One night; no more. [Dr. Norman walks away]
Diana Reid: It helps if they think you're crazy. They don't argue.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Michael Russo: Look, I don't speak smartass.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: Joseph Conrad said, "The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotchner: This is Special Agent Spencer Reid.
Gideon: Doctor Reid.
Hotchner: Dr. Reid, our expert on...well, everything.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
[dog barks and Reid jumps]
Hotchner: It's ok, it's what we call the Reid effect; it happens with children, too.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotchner: This is Dr. Reid
Heather’s Brother: Doctor? You seem too young to have gotten into medical school...
Reid: They're PhD's, three of them.
Heather’s Brother: Are you a genius or something?
Reid: I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. [gets a weird look] Yes, I’m a genius.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Morgan: Reid, are you good with this? We’ve got a woman who’s only got a few hours left to live, an incomplete profile and a Unit Chief on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Gideon: [enters the room] They don’t call them nervous breakdowns anymore.
Reid: It's called a major depressive episode.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: Emerson said, "All is riddle, and the key to a riddle is another riddle."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
Reid: Samuel Beckett.
Morgan: "Try not. Do, or do not."
Reid: Yoda.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Reid: [referring to Gideon] Do you know why he always introduces me as Dr. Reid?
Hotchner: Because he knows people see you as a kid and he wants to make sure they respect you.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: Winston Churchill said, "The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you will see."
[Accurate for show quote, inaccurate according to Winston Churchill page]

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Hotch: [to Morgan] ...guess what Gideon means?
Reid: [Walking past] Mighty Warrior. Appropriate.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: Nietzsche once said, "When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: Einstein once said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited; imagination encircles the world."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Elle: Chemical accelerant could mean chemistry student.
Reid: It could also mean chemistry professor.
Elle: I say student. You need self-confidence to lecture in front of a classroom full of 30 college kids. Arsonists are socially incompetent. This guy doesn’t go on dates, doesn’t go to parties, doesn’t feel comfortable in front of groups. [Reid looks at Elle] And of course he’s a total psychopath.
Reid: Of course.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Morgan: Why the Tommy Killer?
Hotchner: You know the rock opera? Well, this unsub glues his victim's eyes wide open.
Reid: He wants them to see him.
Gideon: And feel him.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
The Poem between Death and the Lady
'Fair Lady, throw those costly robes aside,
No longer may you glory in your pride;
Take leave of all your carnal vain delight,
I'm come to summon you away this night.'

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: No badges. I don’t want to satisfy the unsub’s need for attention by letting him know the FBI is here. Try not to look official. [looks at the team] Try to look less official.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Garcia: Okay, you know how on Star Trek when Captain Kirk asked McCoy to do something totally impossible and McCoy says, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!"?
Morgan: Hey, what are you telling me? Not to expect a miracle?
Garcia: No, I'm saying I'm not a doctor.
Morgan: That's my girl.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Morgan: You know there’s got to be a faster way to do this. How about we just change the first question to "have you recently dated a homicidal pyromaniac?"

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Elle: Well, what is the most sinful place on campus?
Morgan: Come on Elle, when I was in college it was everywhere.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: You rely too much on precedent, you never allow for the unexpected.

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: James Reese once said, "There are certain clues at a crime scene which, by their very nature, do not lend themselves to being collected or examined. How's one collect love, rage, hatred, fear...? These are things that we're trained to look for."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: Faulkner once said, "Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Gideon: Samuel Johnson wrote, "Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those who we cannot resemble."

TV Show: Criminal Minds
Elle: I may have something. Barbara Keller was having some trouble insuring some coins she bought. The insurance company thought they might be fake.
Hotchner: So the insurance company is blowing up annoying clients?

TV Show: Criminal Minds