Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes

Goren: Of all places to ditch a car, Long Island City would not be my first choice.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: It's amazing what one copper mine can do for a family.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren starts opening a container of cheese that belonged to the victim.]
Eames: And I thought that dog was ripe.
Goren: Yeah, it's very, uh-- uh, assertive.
Eames: Yeah.
Goren: Sheep's milk. It's, uh, "rochetta."
Eames: You can tell that just from the smell?
Goren: Label.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Eames watches Goren fondling the head of a drowned and battered murdered suspect. She grimaces.]
Eames: You keep doing that, I'm going to drop this kid right here.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[When an ex-detective is arrested for murder.]
Deakins: So much for passing out brains with those gold shields.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[The crime scene detective explains the scene, then looks at Goren and Bishop.]
Detective: You two don't take notes?
Goren: Uh, we haven't worked that out yet.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Detective: You might want to make a note? That's probably the murder weapon.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Bishop: $220 at a shot, sometimes $440, sometimes twice a night.
Eames: Are these late night withdrawals?
[Bishop nods.]
Eames: Cash machines at strip bars charge you a 10% premium. A $200 lap dance will cost you $220.
[Goren grins proudly.]
Goren: You see what you miss not working Vice?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[As Goren and Bishop walk away from a luncheon table, after Goren causes a scene with a potential suspect.]
Bishop: So you know, I did not enjoy that.
Goren: No? Eames would have.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Bishop: If you were showing me how to turn a friendly witness into a hostile one, you succeeded.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Carver kicks Goren out of his conference room after Goren torpedoes the case against a suspect.]
Carver: Are you working for the defense now?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren sits down at the computer and starts scrolling down. Bishop clears her throat.]
Goren: If I'm not scrolling fast enough for you, be my guest.
Bishop: I'm sorry, I don't--
Goren: No, really, I don't mind. Eames likes to drive, so she drives. You want to scroll, scroll.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: You sure you don't want to take the car?
Bishop: No, it's only two blocks over.
Goren: Your feet hurt. I notice, your toes are curling in your shoes.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Bishop: After a week of killings, nothing like soft lights and a warm bath.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Speaking of the NYPD.]
Brody: You make the truth sound like a lie.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: The cuts are on the backs of her hands. If she was defending herself--
Bishop: You mean if she was defending herself like a girl. What if she was defending herself like a boxer.
Rodgers: Score one for the new kid.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Bishop: If it's okay, I'd like to come with you.
Eames: Sure. You can carry me up the stairs.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Upon hearing that packets of artificial sweetener were poisoned.]
Deakins: The killer was targeting people on diets?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Eames and Bishop are talking. Goren is listening to a 911 tape, and suddenly slaps the table. Both women look at him. He is oblivious.]
Eames: Want me to stick a dart in him?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[On learning that three 17-year old victims had the same strain of gonorrhea.]
Goren: So they got it from the same girl.
Rodgers: Unless toilet seats and doorknobs are making a comeback.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: You just wait with your little fishing rod, and you just hook whatever damaged goods comes out of the pit.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Conway bitch-slaps Goren. He grabs Conway's hands.]
Goren: Ouch!

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Mrs. Connors: I called him at his job. His partner said he was on his way. And then he arrived. It's no mystery.
Goren: Well, the mystery is that, uh, the reception in the recital hall, it cleared up. Because a moment ago, you said it was like a tomb.
Mrs. Connors: My sons'll be home for lunch soon. It would be so nice if you weren't here.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Forensics Tech: Shirt's chambray, size large.
Eames: Well, that fits Eddie Malloy.
Deakins: Fits me, too.
Eames: Yeah, but you're not dating a widow with $40 million.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Malloy: I don't mess with collectibles. Check my rap sheet. Strictly TVs and toasters.
Bishop: But you knew about the Connors' stamp collection.
Malloy: I know they keep money in banks, but I don't break in and steal it.
Bishop: Well, that's admirable.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: She pooched your alibi.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Dr. Friedman: I don't know anything about her condition.
Goren: Lucky for us, Dr. Friedman, you're a terrible liar.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Solomon threatened to split the child. Maybe this time we should let the child decide.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: From a Romanian orphanage to an American divorce. I hope New York State will prove a better guardian for these children.
Goren: Well, from your lips to God's ear.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Her laptop is missing. Is it in there?
Bishop: [Going through drawers in the victim's bedroom] Only two things in here with batteries. None of them's a computer.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent