The Shield Quotes

Myles Falworth: [Sir James instructs Myles to ride a horse among a series of pells - upright supports - with his hands over his head. When he fails, he complains to Sir James that he cannot control the horse] How is the horse supposed to know, unless he has more sense than I?
Sir James: A possibility not so remote as you might imagine.

TV Show: The Shield
Shane Vendrell: Can I get your autograph, man?
Vic Mackey: Yeah, like on a confession?

TV Show: The Shield
Taylor: Are you gonna hold this third strike over me for the rest of my life?
Vic Mackey: I could lie to you. But I have far too much respect for you as a person. Yes I am!

TV Show: The Shield
Trish: You like Chinese?
Vic Mackey: Sometimes.

TV Show: The Shield
Vic Mackey: [about Shane's baby, Jackson] Cute kid.
Shane Vendrell: Thanks. He's got his mother's looks.
Vic Mackey: Thank God!

TV Show: The Shield
[repeated line]
Holland Wagenbach: Oh, you've gotta be ****tin' me.

TV Show: The Shield
Rawling: If you can't withstand scrutiny about anything--I need you to step aside.
Vic: I don't step aside. I step up.

TV Show: The Shield
Lem: [bumping his head on a cross] Jesus Christ. [Looking at Jesus's face on cross] God damnit! I didn't mean that.

TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: [about a dead body] Christ, you don't see a rack like that everyday
Claudette: You wanna give them a squeeze?

TV Show: The Shield
Vic: That's funny. I don't recall having signed up for an ethics lesson from a scumbag defense lawyer.

TV Show: The Shield
Lonnie Reeborg: I killed her. I killed my sweet Nancy! What did I do that for?
Dutch: 'Cause you like crack?

TV Show: The Shield
Claudette: Right now Vic Mackey may look like a mighty big catch to you. Do the smart thing, son. Cut bait.
David: It doesn't bother you, the things that he does?
Claudette: I don't judge other cops.
David: Mackey's not a cop. He's Al Capone with a badge.
Claudette: Al Capone made money by giving people what they wanted. What people want these days is to make it to their cars without getting mugged. Come home from work and see their stereo is still there. Hear about some murder in the barrio, find out the next day the police caught the guy. If having all those things means some cop roughed up some nigger or some spic in the ghetto...well, as far as most people are concerned it's don't ask, don't tell.

TV Show: The Shield
Dr. Grady: What's in the bag?
[From a brown paper bag, Mackey pulls a bottle of booze, a phone book, keys, a lighter and box cutter. He then lays them on the table in front of Grady.]
Dr. Grady: What's that stuff for?
Vic: It's what I'm gonna use to get you to tell me where Jenny Reeborg is.
Dr. Grady: Your turn to play bad cop?
Vic: Nah, good cop and bad cop left for the day, I'm a different kinda cop.
Dr. Grady: [To the surveillance camera] I'm ready to see my lawyer now.

TV Show: The Shield
Vic: [to Dutch] Go get a sandwich, Dutchboy.

TV Show: The Shield
[Watching a kid get beat to join a gang.]
Gangbanger: Bienvenido a La Vida!
Julien: What's he saying?
Danny: Welcome to the life.

TV Show: The Shield
Danny: Where the hell were you last night?
Julien: What do you mean?
Danny: Detective Crowley got shot. I left you a message.
Julien: Yeah, I got it.
Danny: So?
Julien: didn't say anything about me having to come down.
Danny: I shouldn't have to. A fellow officer was dying in that hospital.
Julien: I said a prayer for him.
Danny: A prayer?
Julien: Yeah.
[Danny stares at him]
Julien: What? I've been on the job three weeks, I didn't even know that guy.
Danny: Rule number one, he was a cop. That means you knew him.

TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: What do you do for fun with all that free time?
Richard: I have some hobbies.
Dutch: I know, nice sperm collection.

TV Show: The Shield
Lem: That is the hottest chick there ever was, man!
Tripp: Her? That's a par. Got me another in Detroit, goddamn BIRDIE.
Shane: Big deal, she's probably spread her legs for half the league.
Tripp: Too bad you can't make a jump shot.

TV Show: The Shield
Vic: They stitch you up okay?
Connie: Between this and my cesarean, I'm a god damned road map.

TV Show: The Shield
Vic: [on the phone] Come on Captain, you know how those rich pricks are, he probably has his face snorkel deep in some broad's snatch. In a few hours he'll come up for air.
Aceveda: [to the lawyer] You know how those celebrities are, he's probably with a female admirer. Give it a few hours. He'll turn up.

TV Show: The Shield
Shane: We killed a cop.
Vic: Get over it, don't bring it up again.

TV Show: The Shield
[Dutch is ogling a stripper's bare behind, where she has sustained a minor bullet wound]
Vic: Dutch, how many times I gotta tell you--you can't feel up the women.
Dutch: She took one in the ass, but it's--
Vic: --not the first time. Right. That's a good one.

TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: [After failing to catch Eduardo] HEY! San Salvador's that way!!!

TV Show: The Shield
Vic: [Listening to the Armenians] Huh... the Armenians... speak Armenian.

TV Show: The Shield
[Ronnie sneezes]
Vic: Is there anything you're not allergic to?
Ronnie: Sheet metal.

TV Show: The Shield
[While observing Vic and Danny kissing from his car]
Dutch: Oh, you've gotta be shittin' me.

TV Show: The Shield
[After Shane gets his vehicle containing drugs stolen because he stopped by his girlfriend's house to get laid]
Lem: We're all gonna crash and burn because of you! I mean...Christ, dude, Amy's not even that hot!

TV Show: The Shield
Vic: You stopped to get laid? What the hell were you thinking?
Shane: About getting laid.

TV Show: The Shield
Connie: He was acting strange!
Vic: So you shot him!?!

TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: This investigation runs through me. You find anything, report it immediately!
Vic: If I bring the guy in, you'll be the first to know, Dutchboy!

TV Show: The Shield