Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes

Goren: It never occurred to you that something illegal was afoot?
Weems: I'm an actor. I'm constantly broke. It was a couple of nights at the St. Francis. It sounded like fun.
Goren: Fantastic.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: This has to be some kind of situation you have on your hands.
Gaston: Why do you say that?
Goren: Well, you've loosened your tie, you got a drink on your desk, you got three phone lines blinking, and you're chewing the inside of your cheeks like some kind of frantic chipmunk.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: We are discreet with innocent victims. If they behave like innocent victims.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren climbs on top of a pharmacy counter.]
Pharmacist: Excuse me, but...
Eames: Don't worry. he does this all the time.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Rodgers: Of those, I identified 14 cancer patients who statistically should be alive if they received the right dosage of chemotherapy. 9 families gave me permission to exhume the bodies.
Goren: Only 9. You must have some bedside manner.
Rodgers: There's a reason I work with dead people.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Mills: I can't help noticing, Detective, the way you pull together all these different elements. Good stuff.
[Goren chuckles and looks at Eames.]
Goren: It's good stuff.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Mills: Detective, shame is a very underrated emotion. in the big city, it's very easy to go unnoticed by others, so your conscience becomes your only witness. And for most of us, that's not enough.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: I can't imagine what he went through, waiting for her to die.
Goren: That must've been the worst hour of his life.
Eames: Hour? He said two days.
Goren: Well, I'm pretty sure I heard him say an hour.
Eames: Maybe I need a prescription for my hearing.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[The brutal murder of a rich man's children and their friend is a mystery until detectives start to focus on the strange fantasy life of the family's nanny.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deakins: The evil stepmother had the kids whacked. By who? The big bad wolf?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[When Goren and Eames try to get Carver to get a juvenile file unsealed based on the fact they found peas lined up in a row next to the body and one of the nannies lines corn kernels up in a row.]:
Carver: All you have is peas and corn kernels. You're a few lima beans short of succotash, Detectives.
Goren: [Goren looks puzzled.] Uh, Succotash?
Carver: Your evidence is anecdotal. I line up my shoes at night.
Eames: Why am I not surprised?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Who's the worst pro bono lawyer you know?
Carver: The worst? That's easy. Stan Shatenstein.
Goren: Um, You know, hypothetically, how would we get Stan Shatenstein assigned to two defendents. What would we do?
Carver: What would you do? Hypothetically?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[From the deleted scenes]
Carver: Your professional opinion is the best evidence we have so far.
Skoda: That wasn't an opinion. That was me playing air guitar.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Botox works by paralyzing the--the nerves around the facial muscles, doesn't it?
Eames: Does it look like I'd know?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[to Goren, re: Wally Stevens]
Eames: I didn't know you had an older, geekier brother.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Milton Winters: It's these cops! They're trying to kill me! They're after me!
Goren: For once you're right -- we are after you. Milton Winters, you're under arrest!

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren tries to test Nicole Wallace for anthrax as part of a ruse to arrest her]
Goren: Give me your hand.
Nicole Wallace: If you just wanted to hold my hand, Bobby, you didn't have to go through such measures. Is it everything you imagined?
Goren: Don't flatter yourself. I see in you what your other conquests don't.
Nicole Wallace: Ah, yes, the famous Goren vision. A little short-sighted these days, with one glaring blind spot.
Goren: We all have our off days.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Going through the wallet of the victim.]
Eames: Library card. Man after your own heart.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[After telling the Captain that she will be a surrogate mother for her sister.]
Eames: He said when the time comes, he'll hook you up with a temporary partner.
Goren: Oh, no. I didn't even think of that. Well, what did you say?
Eames: I pity the fool.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Laurette: Whether you like it or not, my work has entered your subconscious.
Eames: Mm. And I thought it was last night's potstickers.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: Well, if he wanted to get inside Laurette's head, he needed more blondes in his life.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Well, buildings may crumble, but infamy's forever.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: This is nice. Charles Darwin as a serial killer.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Our shooter didn't write that letter.
Eames: Great, another nut in the mix.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[When the detectives suspect a copycat murder was performed by an imprisoned man's brother to apparently exonerate him.]
Goren: The twisted tango of brotherly love.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[When Carver confronts executives about concealing the existence of a second murderer.]
Executive: The effect to our company would have been devastating. We had to think of our employees.
Carver: Yes, I'm sure they were foremost in your thoughts.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Trying to convince Carver to cut a deal with a paranoid schizophrenic.]
Goren: [To Carver] Y-- You know, I find paranoid schizophrenics make excellent witnesses.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[When Spencer's brother tells the police that Spencer knew where the murder weapon was.]
Spencer: None of this is true. You said so himself. He's crazy.
Goren: Yeah, he may be crazy, but you're evil.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Both brothers are led away by police. Eames looks after them.]
Eames: The tango just goes on.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: Maybe one day we'll get lucky and robbery will be the motive.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent