Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes

[Watching as a suspect approaches the conference room.]
Eames: Ready?
Goren: Yeah. Let's play.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Charlotte: I want to know how you got my pager number.
Eames: It's just one of those things we get to do when we're investigating a murder.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[After Charlotte makes a statement.]
Goren: I believe you.
[Charlotte looks at Eames. Eames shrugs apologetically.]
Eames: I come from a family of cops.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Charlotte realizes that Goren and Eames tricked her into telling them about her boyfriend.]
Charlotte: You played me. Good cop, bad cop.
[Goren and Eames glance at each other. Charlotte prepares to leave.]
Charlotte: I shoulda remembered. All cops are bad cops.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: [To Goren] My witnesses did better than yours.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: Serial killer groupies. And I thought I was pathetic with my ABBA fan club card.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren goes through a suspect's family photo album while Eames rummages in the suspect's closet.]
Goren: What did I tell you about the negligent dad?
Eames: I don't know. I forgot to write it down.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: She wasn't driven to kill out of rage, she chose to kill out of love.
Carver: Love?
Goren: It's a many-splendoured thing.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[The decapitated head of the daughter of a Russian mafia boss is sent to her publisher's office, but what starts out looking like a mob hit turns into something very different.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Strick is a straight guy who can only get excited wearing women's clothing. That usually goes hand-in-hand with masochism.
[Deakins eyes Goren. Eames looks at him.]
Eames: I learn something new every day.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[In regards to two prostitutes from Canada.]
Eames: The girls say Strick paid them five grand each. And here I thought hockey players and maple syrup were Canada's biggest exports.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[After hearing a witness's explanation of why his alleged poverty]
Eames: Gee. I need a hanky.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Speaking to Goren about a suspect]
Eames: Terry Randall's a woman. Funny how that detail escaped your powers of observation.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Discussing a leak of information from inside of One PP, Eames brings up the Chief of Detectives' office.]
Goren: I can vouch for his assistant.
Eames: Denise? You dog.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Just an innocent question.
Randall: There's nothing innocent about that baby face.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Randall: If something's important, you find a way. We're frugal.
Goren: My partner's a miser. I'm frugal.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Detective: Lucy Hotpants there, thinks the guy died of spontaneous combustion.
Goren: Right after he was spontaneously hit in the head.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: "To Erica, for giving me a reason to go on."
Sales clerk: So romantic, don't you think?
Eames: You don't want to know what I think.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[After Goren asks an apparent 14-year old Lou Gehrig's patient on the phone about the disease's impact on her menstrual cycle]
Deakins: If I hadn't heard it with my own ears--

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: Cantler -- the geneticist with the bestseller?
Goren: Two bestsellers and four wives. Apparently the professor likes the ladies--
[Goren looks pointedly at Eames, who grins.]
Goren: --and vice-a versa.
Eames: You know us. We like men who play with the building blocks of life.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Barb: What's wrong with you that makes you want to destroy someone good like Erica?
[Goren chuckles.]
Goren: I'm just a natural born skeptic.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: That would make it two coincidences.
Goren: One more and it's a conspiracy.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
CFO: The Tuxedo Hill Group is a special purpose partnership capitalized by third-party equity to hedge certain Mattawin assets.
[Goren and Eames look at each other.]
Eames: We have no idea what you just said.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren picks up a witness's lap dog.]
Goren: That's a cute dog.
[Goren shows it to Eames.]
Goren: Isn't it cute? What's his name?
Karyn: Ebit.
Goren: Ebit. Is that because he's such a itty-bitty little doggy?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: Diamonds and dogs. All the best friends a girl needs.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Crowley resists arrest and strike a deal.]
Crowley: No! No, look! You're going to need me!
Goren: And what can you offer to make up for the misery you prepared to wreak on thousands of people who trusted you? What fanatics do to us with guns and bombs, you tried to do with an accounting trick.! Don't you think for a minute that you deserve anything better than they do.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[The ritualistic murder of a mortuary worker leads Goren and Eames to a gruesome body dump and an organized hit man who has planned ahead.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren squeezes the sores on a corpse and produces pus. Eames winces.]
Eames: You must have been so much fun in biology class.
[Goren rolls the pus between his fingers and sniffs it.]
Goren: Actually my biology teacher, Mr. Dixon, didn't think I was much fun at all.
[Eames nods and fails to look surprised.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[On the subject of drugs]
Teen: I don't know about that, man.
Eames: You don't know about fry sticks, clickums, wet daddies?
[Teen looks impressed.]
Teen: Damn.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Deakins watches a pothead witness leave the conference room.]
Deakins: So that's what a brain looks like on embalming fluid.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent