Saved by the Bell Quotes

"Señorita Rita: But my General, the fat one does not look like a spy. He looks very innocent.
Curly: Oh, I don't know, I've been around!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Maybe we could sell Screech to Exxon.
Slater: Nah, they'd never buy a geek that doesn't squeak.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
[AlexX chickens out on getting a tattoo]
Alex: I couldn't do it. You're not mad, are you?
Slater: Of course I'm mad! I got this dumb, idiotic tattoo for YOU.
Alex: I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you. What do you want me to do?
Slater: I'll tell you what I want you to do. You and I are gonna go to the Sylvester Stallone Film Festival next weekend. We're gonna see every movie he ever made.
Alex: Even "Rocky"?
Slater: Yup, 1 through 5.
Alex: I'll go get the tattoo.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: The moral of the story, gang. Well, it's simple; (Zack shows a credit card with the name Lisa on it) The Lisa Card, don't leave home WITH it.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Screech even sold his body to science.
Jessie: Yeah, they gave him twenty dollars to take it back.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Kid: Miss, this isn't what I ordered. You were supposed to toast my buns!
Lisa: You want toasted buns? Go sit on a microwave!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: I'm sorry, Max.
Max: That's okay. It's only the third tray you've dropped. Don't worry about it.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: How's she doing? Let me put it another way. If Lisa were a car, she'd be recalled.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Danny: Jessie, would you like to be my dance partner in the contest?
Jessie: (Standing up) I'd love to...(Seeing how short Danny is) but I don't believe in dance contests.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Screech: (To the doll he was dancing with after being turned down by Lisa) It's all your fault, I told you to let me should lead!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Casey Kasem: C'mon everybody, let's do the... the.. the Sprain.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Kelly: What happened to you?
Lisa: I kicked the TV and sprained my ankle.
Jessie: Why?
Lisa: I was watching the new Revlon commercial and they discontinued my nail polish.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: This looks like a job for, Zack-man.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: You think I went overboard?
Zack: Like the crew of the Titanic.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Come on Jessie, there's lots of guys taller than you.
Jessie: Name one.
Zack: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Jessie, I'm in big trouble.
Jessie: What did you do, sell your parents' house again?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: We only made $53 selling Lisa's clothes. So, she had to do the most humiliating, insulting, degrading thing possible for her - get a job.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: I'm confused, sir. You know, maybe I'm just trying too hard to get girls to like me.
Mr. Belding: Hey, now I can identify with that. This may come as a surprise to you, but when I was your age, I wasn't... well, you know... the hunk I am now!
Slater: I can't believe this, sir! No, I thought you were Stud City!
Mr. Belding: Everybody thinks that!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: ... Kelly got B's, and her parents got her ice cream... (looks at report card) I haven't figure out WHAT to buy my parents yet!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: Does this look like a good dress sir?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Well I guess so, is it for your Girlfriend?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: No Sir, it's for me. I wanted to wear it to school tomorrow.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Come in to my office young lady--Slater!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Screech: Zack, I got an A.
Zack: Hey, Screech, how'd you do that?
Screech: Well, I was seeing so many pictures, I just stayed up all night and went over everything.
Zack: Ohh, you cheated! You studied!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: Lisa, what is that funny looking letter next to my name?
Lisa: It's a Q, Jessie.
Jessie: No, really, really, I can take it. Whatever I got, I deserved. For the first time in my life, I took the easy way out. I'm prepared to face the consequences.
Lisa: It's a B, Jessie.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: But what kind of devious creature would make two fake phone calls? (Zack's cell phone rings and Belding picks it up) Zack can't come to the phone right now. He's on his way to pick up his season tickets to detention. If you'd like to leave a message, please wait for the beep.
Zack: Beep.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Screech, your mother called and told me about lightning hitting you. Now, I just want to make sure you're doing alright. Tell me -
Screech: 8: 30 last night.
Mr. Belding: ...when exactly were you struck by lightning? 8: 30?
Screech: Yeah.
Mr. Belding: Are there any -
Screech: One.
Mr. Belding: ...side effects? Did you say one?
Screech: Yeah, but it's a secret. I'm not supposed to tell anyone that I can see the future.
Mr. Belding: See the future? Screech, that's -
Screech: Preposterous?
Mr. Belding: Right.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Now, where was I?
Screech: You were about to say no one has the power to see the future.
Mr. Belding: Right, Screech, no one has the power to see the future!
Screech: Oops, I'll pick them up!
Mr. Belding: Pick what up? (knocks over pencil holder) Uh... Screech, I'm just curious. My mother-in-law is staying with us indefinitely. By any chance, can you tell me -
Screech: She'll be gone by Tuesday.
Mr. Belding: ALRIGHT!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: You know, you guys, I just remembered, there was one time that I did not get an A. I was in the fourth grade, Mr. Simmons had a nervous breakdown and gave the entire class L's and Q's.
Kelly: Why is getting an A so important to you?
Jessie: It's not important. Alright, it is, I know it shouldn't be, but I just can't help myself. It's my whole identity.
Kelly: What are you talking about?
Jessie: Will you stop hollering at me? Everyone's gotta be something, right? She's the fashionable one, you're the popular one and, who am I?
Kelly: The wacko one.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Kelly: So many boys, so little time.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell