Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes

Witness: We work together. Any relationship we have is strictly business.
Goren: We got these photos from a private investigator. This thing you're doing to the doctor with your tongue. What business is that, strictly?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Dr. Kelmer: You stupid idiots.
Eames: Sticks and stones.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: "Trust me." Hell of a closing argument.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: I make my living putting trust in juries. Now is not the time to stop.
Goren: I'll take them any way they come.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren picks up a piece of lint from the floor and asks for a plastic bag.]
Eames: Suspicious dust balls?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[On the subject of abortion.]
Eames: What do you really think?
Goren: I'll tell you what I think when I get pregnant.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[To Goren]
Eames: Promise me a margarita when this is all over.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Lawyer: He's invoking his right to be silent.
Eames: Well, he doesn't have the right to be deaf, so he's going to have to listen to what we have to say.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deakins: This guy has a death wish and he's going to take someone down with him.
Eames: We can always hope he gets the order mixed up and shoots himself first.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[A prominent doctor is killed during his son's bar mitzvah, and all signs point to a distinguished psychologist who is on retainer with the DA's office.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: A divorce judge. The gift that keeps on giving.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Doctor: These are very bad people.
Doctor's companion: Yeah, they're very bad people. They're New York City police detectives.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: I love everything about this job but that. Buddy-boy system.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: Your client's not insane. He's in love. Maybe it's hard to tell the two apart, but the law can.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[The father of a celebrity is killed, and the detectives uncover an FBI sting operation targeting the mob.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: The club is connected, Captain.
Deakins: The magic gut speaks.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Since when does a 20-year old debutante use the word "dagger?"
Deakins: Maybe she read it in a fashion magazine.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: You heard him. The man wants compelling evidence.
Eames: Right. And I want a foot massage from Derek Jeter.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: She was weak, and you used her. And that really pisses me off.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: It's lonely at the bottom.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[An amateur hit man kills the mistress of a judge up for nomination to appellate court, and detectives are try to understand why.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Carver watches Goren peer closely at a dead body.]
Carver: Is his investigative style so ... sociable?
Eames: Yeah, sure.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren goes through a law article written by the victim.]
Goren: "Fair Speech and the Fair Use Doctrine: The First Amendment and Encryption Software."
Eames: Stop it. You're making me hot.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: First you call him a plagiarist, then you call him a murderer, now you change your mind. This is no way to treat a justice of the New York Court.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: History of violence. Sounds like a distinguishing feature of the semi-professional hit-man. [To Goren] I only look like I'm not paying attention to you.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: He's paranoid! Pathological!
Carver: Is that police code for "hot-blooded?"
Goren: Well, don't put words in my mouth, or some kind of attitude!
Carver: If he's involved, why on earth would he sign a search warrant for Mr. Cox?
Goren: Because he knew we wouldn't find anything!
Carver: That's paranoid.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: You want to arrest [Judge] Blakemore?
Goren: Arrest would be an understatement.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[A paroled bank robber is killed two days after he gets out of Sing Sing, and the trail puts Goren and Eames on the trail of a nonexistent man.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: One thing this line of work teaches us is that guys will do anything for love.
Eames: Or money.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: The only money I got from my family was the 50 bucks my dad gave me for my prom dress.
Goren: Is that the same year you were selling apples outside city hall?
Eames: It was matchsticks, and it was snowing.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent