Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
Greg: Free at last, free at last! Thank God almighty we are free at last!
Chris: Greg, it's spring break, not the end of racism.
Chris: Greg, it's spring break, not the end of racism.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: [after Chris accidentally runs over Greg] White man down! White man down!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: Dude! You hit me with a car.
Narrator: Sounds like the title of an Ashton Kutcher movie.
Narrator: Sounds like the title of an Ashton Kutcher movie.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: So, where were we? Oh, that's right. You were trying to explain how you didn't run me over.
Chris: No, I didn't.
Greg: So that wasn't you behind the steering wheel when my face was smashed up against the windshield?
Chris: No, because if I had hit you, that meant I was driving someone's car, and that someone would go to jail for a really, really, really long time if we snitched. So, not only would you be hurt, he would be hurt also, and don't you think enough people have been hurt already?
Greg: OK, I get it. You didn't hit me.
Narrator: Spoken just like Tina Turner.
Chris: No, I didn't.
Greg: So that wasn't you behind the steering wheel when my face was smashed up against the windshield?
Chris: No, because if I had hit you, that meant I was driving someone's car, and that someone would go to jail for a really, really, really long time if we snitched. So, not only would you be hurt, he would be hurt also, and don't you think enough people have been hurt already?
Greg: OK, I get it. You didn't hit me.
Narrator: Spoken just like Tina Turner.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: Man, it's messed up!
Greg: That's OK. We've survived worse things. Remember the time we survived those Cuban drug runners?
[Cuban drug runners are threatening Greg with guns and a chainsaw]
Cuban Drug Runner: Where's the drugs?!
Chris: We don't have any coke, but there's a Pepsi machine upstairs.
[we see a tear running down Greg's face as the Cuban drug runner speaks some Spanish]
Greg: Yeah, and remember the time we were captured by those Vietnamese guys?
[a Vietnamese guy spins a gun during a game of Russian roulette, which then points at Greg; he then punches him]
Chris: C'mon! Go ahead, Greg. Go ahead! [the Vietnamese guy punches him] It's gonna be OK. It's gonna be all right. [the Vietnamese guy punches Greg] GO AHEAD!
Greg: Go fish.
[the Vietnamese guy punches Chris and Greg]
Chris: Remember the time we took out that mobster? [to Greg] Leave the gun. Take the Pop-Tarts.
Greg: Yeah, we've had some crazy times.
Greg: That's OK. We've survived worse things. Remember the time we survived those Cuban drug runners?
[Cuban drug runners are threatening Greg with guns and a chainsaw]
Cuban Drug Runner: Where's the drugs?!
Chris: We don't have any coke, but there's a Pepsi machine upstairs.
[we see a tear running down Greg's face as the Cuban drug runner speaks some Spanish]
Greg: Yeah, and remember the time we were captured by those Vietnamese guys?
[a Vietnamese guy spins a gun during a game of Russian roulette, which then points at Greg; he then punches him]
Chris: C'mon! Go ahead, Greg. Go ahead! [the Vietnamese guy punches him] It's gonna be OK. It's gonna be all right. [the Vietnamese guy punches Greg] GO AHEAD!
Greg: Go fish.
[the Vietnamese guy punches Chris and Greg]
Chris: Remember the time we took out that mobster? [to Greg] Leave the gun. Take the Pop-Tarts.
Greg: Yeah, we've had some crazy times.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Not only was it rainin' at the beach, back at home, it was rainin' on my parade.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: Chris, is that your wrestlin' coach?
Narrator: I guess that answers who they got arrested.
Narrator: I guess that answers who they got arrested.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: Kristoff St. John didn't hit me.
Chris: Yeah, he's right. That's not him.
Rochelle: Well, I thought you said you didn't see anything.
Narrator: Yeah, dummy!
Chris: Oh. Now that I think about it, it's kinda all coming back. As I came around the corner, I think I might have caught a glimpse of the driver.
Cop: Well, let's get you with the sketch artist.
Narrator: Jesse from All My Children, you're next.
Chris: Yeah, he's right. That's not him.
Rochelle: Well, I thought you said you didn't see anything.
Narrator: Yeah, dummy!
Chris: Oh. Now that I think about it, it's kinda all coming back. As I came around the corner, I think I might have caught a glimpse of the driver.
Cop: Well, let's get you with the sketch artist.
Narrator: Jesse from All My Children, you're next.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: While I was dodgin' another bullet, raindrops kept fallin' on my dad's head.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: My father's spring break was bein' rained out, and my mother enjoyed bein' stretched out.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: Dude, you hit me with a car, broke my leg, and then made me lie to the cops. I think the least you can do is give me some OJ.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: After all was said and done, Greg had something to say about what we did.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: Hittin' someone with a car is not illegal. Lyin' to the police is.
Chris: Ma, I know you're mad, but it's over. It all worked out. It's not a big deal.
Rochelle: You broke your friend's leg, you both lied to the police, we were in the middle of a police shoot-out with a serial choker, and you don't think it's a big deal?
Narrator: Not in Bed-Stuy.
Chris: Ma, I know you're mad, but it's over. It all worked out. It's not a big deal.
Rochelle: You broke your friend's leg, you both lied to the police, we were in the middle of a police shoot-out with a serial choker, and you don't think it's a big deal?
Narrator: Not in Bed-Stuy.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: In all the years of school, there was nothing I loved better than summer vacation, and the next best thing was spring break.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: Once I get up to Lake Winnipesaukee with my mom and dad, it's not gonna be good.
Chris: I thought your parents split up?
Greg: They did, but neither one will give up the timeshare, so I'm taking the bus to meet them for a weekend of fishing and drinking... and fighting.
Narrator: Don't forget cryin'!
Chris: I thought your parents split up?
Greg: They did, but neither one will give up the timeshare, so I'm taking the bus to meet them for a weekend of fishing and drinking... and fighting.
Narrator: Don't forget cryin'!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Drew: I hate the sand. I don't know where it comes from, and it gets into places you can't get it out of.
Narrator: Like broke cousins.
Narrator: Like broke cousins.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: While I was makin' it clear that I didn't hit Greg, my family was gettin' ready to hit the road.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: When I was 16, I crossed a major milestone for teenagers: I finally got my driver's license.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: Boy, this is not a library.
Narrator: If it was, you'd be quiet.
Narrator: If it was, you'd be quiet.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Drew: What are you doing?
Julius: Nothing.
Narrator: Nothing he wants you to know about.
Julius: Nothing.
Narrator: Nothing he wants you to know about.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: Do you have a pen?
Tonya: For what?
Rochelle: For me not to smack the smart outta you.
Tonya: For what?
Rochelle: For me not to smack the smart outta you.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: Dude, where's our car?
Narrator: That sounds like the title of a movie.
Narrator: That sounds like the title of a movie.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: Cigarettes?
Narrator: Careful! They might complicate your pregnancy.
Narrator: Careful! They might complicate your pregnancy.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: Why is everybody lookin' at me?
Julius: Because you smokin' a carrot.
Julius: Because you smokin' a carrot.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: We can go to the shore to get girls. We can drive to Manhattan to get girls. We can go to Coney Island to get girls.
Chris: Do you realize that it's still gonna be us in the car?
Greg: It doesn't matter. Cars equal girls.
Chris: Do you realize that it's still gonna be us in the car?
Greg: It doesn't matter. Cars equal girls.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Julius: [to Rochelle] Are you OK?
Narrator: No, she's mad she can't slap soup.
Narrator: No, she's mad she can't slap soup.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Tonya: It looks like Clay-Dough and grits.
Drew: Ugh, it tastes like Clay-Dough and grits.
Julius: It is Clay-Dough and grits.
Drew: Ugh, it tastes like Clay-Dough and grits.
Julius: It is Clay-Dough and grits.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: After three days of studyin', I was a lot like William Henry Harrison: dead.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris