Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
Narrator: Back home, my dad's mojo recipes were layin' eggs.
Julius: Honey, I've done everything I can and things just keep gettin' worse. They've had over four glasses of the remedy, and their temperature just keeps goin' up.
Narrator: Maybe that's because Clay-Dough is not the stuffy-nose, runny-eyes, scratchy-throat and knock-you-out-so-you-can-sleep medicine.
Julius: Honey, I've done everything I can and things just keep gettin' worse. They've had over four glasses of the remedy, and their temperature just keeps goin' up.
Narrator: Maybe that's because Clay-Dough is not the stuffy-nose, runny-eyes, scratchy-throat and knock-you-out-so-you-can-sleep medicine.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: The week before finals was the most pressure-packed time of the year. Kids reacted to the pressure in lotsa different ways. Some kids took it out on themselves, and some kids took it out on others.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: In the '80s, makin' a bomb threat was nowhere near as easy as it is now.
Cop: Sir, unless the bomb is committing a crime, there's nothing we can do.
Fireman: Unless the bomb is up a tree and can't get down, there's nothing we can do.
Narrator: I thought I'd finally got the right people on the phone, but I still couldn't figure out why the school wasn't bein' evacuated.
Cop: Sir, unless the bomb is committing a crime, there's nothing we can do.
Fireman: Unless the bomb is up a tree and can't get down, there's nothing we can do.
Narrator: I thought I'd finally got the right people on the phone, but I still couldn't figure out why the school wasn't bein' evacuated.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: Don't we have a copy machine?
Librarian: We did, but it turned out to be a fake. It was a copy of a copy machine. The Xerox police confiscated it. If your hand starts to cramp up, use the other one.
Narrator: I was quite familiar with that principle.
Librarian: We did, but it turned out to be a fake. It was a copy of a copy machine. The Xerox police confiscated it. If your hand starts to cramp up, use the other one.
Narrator: I was quite familiar with that principle.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: You know Miss Tallulah?
Vanessa: Yeah. What about her?
Rochelle: Well, she was unhappy with her hair color, so she seemed pretty upset, so I just gave her a refund.
Vanessa: REFUND?! What'd you do that for? I have a strict no-refund policy. You know that.
Rochelle: Well, Vanessa, she put a hex on me. A mojo!
Vanessa: A mojo? You let that woman come in and scam you for $40 because she threatened you with a mojo? She's been doin' that ever since she came in, 'Chelle. She's crazy! She's the reason I put the sign up there.
Vanessa: Yeah. What about her?
Rochelle: Well, she was unhappy with her hair color, so she seemed pretty upset, so I just gave her a refund.
Vanessa: REFUND?! What'd you do that for? I have a strict no-refund policy. You know that.
Rochelle: Well, Vanessa, she put a hex on me. A mojo!
Vanessa: A mojo? You let that woman come in and scam you for $40 because she threatened you with a mojo? She's been doin' that ever since she came in, 'Chelle. She's crazy! She's the reason I put the sign up there.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Mr. Thurman: [to Chris] You got a way with words, which would be a good thing if this was... you-got-a-way-with-word-ology!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Ms. Morello: Just for the record, Chris, you can't afford to be late again. The clocks in this school are set to Eastern Standard Time, not CP Time.
Chris: What difference does it make if I'm late? We took all our tests. We only got, like, one more week to go.
Ms. Morello: Counting today, you have been late 29 times this year, and 30 is the limit. If you're late again, you will not be promoted. You will have to repeat the 10th grade.
Chris: Say what?!
Ms. Morello: Say word.
Narrator: Oh, there's a word I wanna say, all right!
Chris: What difference does it make if I'm late? We took all our tests. We only got, like, one more week to go.
Ms. Morello: Counting today, you have been late 29 times this year, and 30 is the limit. If you're late again, you will not be promoted. You will have to repeat the 10th grade.
Chris: Say what?!
Ms. Morello: Say word.
Narrator: Oh, there's a word I wanna say, all right!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Just about everything I went through at school was hard. The work was tough.
Chris: "Q?" What's a "Q?"
Narrator: The people were mean.
Chris: [to Greg] Go ahead. [Greg runs off]
Chris: Are we havin' a fight or a dance-off? [Caruso punches him]
Caruso: You know I can't dance.
Narrator: But the one thing about school that was harder than anything else...
Rochelle: Chris, wake up.
Narrator: ...was gettin' there.
Rochelle: It's time to go to school. You can't learn nothin' in bed.
Narrator: Tell that to Kim Kardashian.
Chris: "Q?" What's a "Q?"
Narrator: The people were mean.
Chris: [to Greg] Go ahead. [Greg runs off]
Chris: Are we havin' a fight or a dance-off? [Caruso punches him]
Caruso: You know I can't dance.
Narrator: But the one thing about school that was harder than anything else...
Rochelle: Chris, wake up.
Narrator: ...was gettin' there.
Rochelle: It's time to go to school. You can't learn nothin' in bed.
Narrator: Tell that to Kim Kardashian.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Julius: How many times does a girl graduate from sixth grade?
Narrator: In Bed-Stuy, five.
Narrator: In Bed-Stuy, five.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: Mr. Thurman, I can't be late!
Mr. Thurman: Then consider yourself early for next year.
Mr. Thurman: Then consider yourself early for next year.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Meanwhile, I was goin' down like O.J. in the Vegas trial.
Rochelle: Chris, this is your own fault. If you woulda told me you were havin' problems, then I coulda done somethin'.
Julius: It's not the end of the world. Most people don't get to finish the 10th grade once. You get to do it twice. It's kinda like workin' a double shift.
Chris: Do you know how embarrassing that's gonna be?
Rochelle: As embarrassing as bein' 40 and still livin' with your mother 'cause you were too stupid to listen to her and repeat the 10th grade and get your diploma.
Rochelle: Chris, this is your own fault. If you woulda told me you were havin' problems, then I coulda done somethin'.
Julius: It's not the end of the world. Most people don't get to finish the 10th grade once. You get to do it twice. It's kinda like workin' a double shift.
Chris: Do you know how embarrassing that's gonna be?
Rochelle: As embarrassing as bein' 40 and still livin' with your mother 'cause you were too stupid to listen to her and repeat the 10th grade and get your diploma.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: After all my parents did for me, I tried to do somethin' for myself.
Julius: G.E.D.?
Chris: Yeah, it's just like graduatin' from high school.
Rochelle: No it's not. Do you get a G.E.D. cap and gown? Can people sign your G.E.D. yearbook? Do they have a G.E.D. reunion?
Narrator: Yes. It's called "Flavor of Love."
Julius: G.E.D.?
Chris: Yeah, it's just like graduatin' from high school.
Rochelle: No it's not. Do you get a G.E.D. cap and gown? Can people sign your G.E.D. yearbook? Do they have a G.E.D. reunion?
Narrator: Yes. It's called "Flavor of Love."
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Rochelle: If you wanna sulk, go sulk. It's not gonna change anything.
Narrator: Ask Hillary Clinton.
Narrator: Ask Hillary Clinton.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: [as Chris enters a diner] Next to a pregnancy scare, waitin' for the results from my G.E.D. was one of the scariest moments of my life.
Waitress: Who gets that fried crust?
[Chris inserts a quarter into the jukebox on the table, then "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi plays]
Rochelle: [showing up] Hi, baby.
Chris: Hey. Where's Drew and Tonya?
Rochelle: They're walkin' over from Doc's.
Chris: [singing] Tommy used to work on the docks. Union's been on strike; he's down on his luck. It's tough.
Rochelle: [as Drew and Tonya show up] Hey!
Tonya: Hi Mom.
Drew: Oh, I love fried crusts!
Rochelle: Don't fill up on it.
Tonya: Where's Daddy?
Drew: In his skin. When he jumps out, you can jump in.
Rochelle: [singing] Hold on...
Chris: [singing] ...if we make it or not. We'll give it a shot.
Chris, Drew, Tonya and Rochelle: [singing] Oh, we're halfway there! Oh, oh! Livin' on a prayer! Take my hand; we'll make it, I swear! Oh, oh! Livin' on a prayer!
Chris: Hey Ma, I heard they were hirin' at Red Lobster.
Tonya: They're not hirin' you.
Drew: I wonder how hungry people have to be to eat a lobster? Like, who looks at that and says, "Man, that looks good?"
Rochelle: Have you thought about what you're gonna do if you don't pass the G.E.D.?
Julius: [showing up with Chris' G.E.D. results] Hey everybody.
Tonya: Hey Daddy.
Rochelle: Hi. What's that?
Julius: Chris' G.E.D. results.
Drew: Did you pass?
Tonya: Open it.
Julius: Is that fried crust?
Drew: Yeah. And it's good.
Chris: [last line on the show]
Waitress: Who gets that fried crust?
[Chris inserts a quarter into the jukebox on the table, then "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi plays]
Rochelle: [showing up] Hi, baby.
Chris: Hey. Where's Drew and Tonya?
Rochelle: They're walkin' over from Doc's.
Chris: [singing] Tommy used to work on the docks. Union's been on strike; he's down on his luck. It's tough.
Rochelle: [as Drew and Tonya show up] Hey!
Tonya: Hi Mom.
Drew: Oh, I love fried crusts!
Rochelle: Don't fill up on it.
Tonya: Where's Daddy?
Drew: In his skin. When he jumps out, you can jump in.
Rochelle: [singing] Hold on...
Chris: [singing] ...if we make it or not. We'll give it a shot.
Chris, Drew, Tonya and Rochelle: [singing] Oh, we're halfway there! Oh, oh! Livin' on a prayer! Take my hand; we'll make it, I swear! Oh, oh! Livin' on a prayer!
Chris: Hey Ma, I heard they were hirin' at Red Lobster.
Tonya: They're not hirin' you.
Drew: I wonder how hungry people have to be to eat a lobster? Like, who looks at that and says, "Man, that looks good?"
Rochelle: Have you thought about what you're gonna do if you don't pass the G.E.D.?
Julius: [showing up with Chris' G.E.D. results] Hey everybody.
Tonya: Hey Daddy.
Rochelle: Hi. What's that?
Julius: Chris' G.E.D. results.
Drew: Did you pass?
Tonya: Open it.
Julius: Is that fried crust?
Drew: Yeah. And it's good.
Chris: [last line on the show]
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris