Drawn Together Quotes

Captain Hero: [in the confessional] I tell ya, ever since that kid set foot in the house, all he's said is, "I'm on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend!"
Xandir: [in various flashbacks] Where are the paper towels? / Oh, no! I think my watch is broken. / Ha ha! Grapes are fun! (repeated in Xandir & Tim, Sitting in a tree.
Captain Hero: (realizes, as he stands up and leaves) Dicks.

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Clara: Why should I apologize? It's not like I made her black.

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Toot: If I can't be the sex symbol, then I can definitely be the BITCH!!!

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Ling Ling: I use your skull for sex, and a decorative bird house.

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Wooldoor: What a cute dog! Want a bone, fella?
Ling-Ling: Ling-Ling no dog! Ling-Ling here to destroy all, and to give children seizures!

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Ling Ling: Say "Ling Ling" three times to accept challenge!

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Ling Ling: [to Toot, before killing her] That'll do, pig. That'll do.

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Ling Ling: Say my name, bitch!

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Xandir: Could the studly hero be right? Was she only just controlling me?

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Xandir: I'm on a...
Toot [interrupting]: Never-ending quest to save your girlfriend, we know.

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Spanky: [In the Confessional] To be honest, I was totally looking forward to voting that hot, black chick out. Oh, wait a minute, not... not voting, I mean "eating".

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Clara: Foxxy, I want to apologize.
Foxxy: Oh, you can apologize... by shut the fuck up!

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Wooldoor: [after the fart bubble he's in pops] I'm free! Ha ha! I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! Wait, my immune system! I'm not strong enough to live outside the bubble! [starts to crumble and screams]

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Captain Hero: Toot made us all realize that we may not have a lot of time left. So, I decided to write down my innermost thoughts in a journal. Here's an excerpt: "I don't know how much longer I can last. Papa says that when I get out, I can have a new dress. When will I have my first dance, my first kiss?"
Spanky: What are you doing?
Captain Hero: These are my dreams! Mine!

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Ling-Ling: I'm not your maid, clean your own dirty dishes.

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Ling-Ling: [can't stand dirty dishes] Ho morages kaba sekarawa... Po kora we theko!

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Toot: What happens in fairy tales after the princess has her first kiss? Hmm?
Clara: She runs away with a sexy one-eyed pirate who loves as fiercely as he lives.
Toot: Not that fairy tale, food-for-brains! The other one!
Clara: Let's see. They live happily ever after in a castle with a couple of... kids! Oh my God, I'm pregnant!
Ling-Ling: [in Japanese gibberish] Oh my God, the sink's full of dirty dishes again.

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Prince Charming: [after firing off a gun] I just wanted to see if this thing worked, before I blew my charming brains out!

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Spanky: I, for one, am not just going to wait around to be swallowed by a giant vagina! [thinks for a minute] Huh? Oh... wait, no, no, no.

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Prince Charming: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!! This was not part of the deal! Look at my PENIS! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GODDAMN PENIS?! I cannot live like this! This is not charming!

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Ling-Ling: Know what you can do? DO YOUR OWN DISHES, ASSHOLE!!
Captain Hero: Ling-Ling's right! We must kill the beast.
Captain Hero, Toot, & Xandir: KILL THE BEAST!
Spanky: Misinterpret Ling-Ling!

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Toot: Damn it! Clara's pissing me off like fat-free sour cream! That little whore won't shut up about that stupid kiss! Who cares, right?

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Captain Hero: Ahoho, we fell for the old 'neck-sprain well-lit pie' diversion.
Xandir: Brava, Foxxy. Brava.

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Clara: You guys can't tell anybody about my secret, and I'm afraid I'll need you to keep your silence with a pinky swear.
Foxxy: I pinky swear.
[they look at Toot]
Toot: Ugh! Fine, I swear too.
Octopussoir: I pinky swear.
Captain Hero: [knocks on door] Clara, Toot told us that you have a monster for a vagina and we want to have a house-meeting about it.
Clara: How is that even possible? [stares at Toot]
Toot: Oopsey-Tootsey. I couldn't help myself.

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Captain Hero: Now, I normally don't listen to women, or my doctor, but Clara's story gave me a special feeling deep down in my lumpy, lumpy testicle.

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Clara: They all hate me, Foxxy. It's like I've turned into some kind of freak.
Foxxy: Oh, come on, now. These things usually have a way of working themselves out, just like the time everyone found out you had a monster vagina between your legs.
Spanky: Clara, this isn't easy to say, especially to a friend, but we've come to kill your vagina.

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Wooldoor: This vagina could use a woman's touch.

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Foxxy: When you was a little girl, your evil stepfather placed a curse on your vagina?
Clara: What?! Weren't you paying attention? My evil stepmother... Mother! ...placed a curse on me!
Toot: (to Foxxy) Uh-DUUUUUUUHHHHHH!!!

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Spanky: It's like my grandfather always said: It's not what's on the outside of a vagina that counts, it's what's on the inside.

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Ling-Ling: It creaning dishes!

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