The Addams Family Quotes

Lurch: You rang?

TV Show: The Addams Family
Dr. Pinderschloss: Have you tried hard enough? Ask him sweetheart!
Tully Alfford: No, no, no, Sweetheart. Don't ask!

TV Show: The Addams Family
Gomez Addams: Follow me, Fester! I know just who to talk to about your new invention!
Morticia Addams: Au revoir, darling!
Gomez Addams: [excited] CARA MIA! You spoke French! [picks up both of Morticia's hands]
Gomez Addams: This one... no, no! No, no! This one!... no, no! No, no! This one!
Morticia Addams: What's wrong, darling?
Gomez Addams: I can't make up my mind! Both arms are so beautiful!

TV Show: The Addams Family
Gomez Addams: [narrating amidst tropical scenery] Tired of your regular vacations? Tired of the same old peaceful rift year after year? Then kiss the mundane goodbye! Call Uncle Goner's Travel Agency today for that vacation with a twist! [a van is seen chugging along]
Gomez Addams: Marvel at the majestic beauty of the Grand Canyon! [the van drives off a cliff]
Gomez Addams: Behold the titanic wonder of Niagara Falls! [the van goes over the falls]
Gomez Addams: Relive the elegance of the Orient Express! [the van goes into a tunnel and comes out impaled on a train engine]
Gomez Addams: Or, if, you dare, discover the behind-the-scenes reality that made Gary Indiana famous! [the van is pulled into the train]
Gomez Addams: Uncle Goner's Travel Agency! Call now!
Mr. Normanmeyer: [watching the advertisement] Oh, that's rich!

TV Show: The Addams Family
Morticia Frump Addams: Gomez, darling, what would we do if a Martian did land right here?
Gomez Addams: We'd do what any red-blooded American would do. Run!
Morticia Frump Addams: True.

TV Show: The Addams Family
Ophelia Addams: I found him! I found him! He was hiding.
Pancho Addams: I was not hiding, I was meditating.
Ophelia Addams: In the dumbwaiter?

TV Show: The Addams Family
[Itt jabbers]
Gomez Addams: So, we're off to Spain, eh?
Morticia Addams: On our first espionage mission!
Gomez Addams: [excited] TISH! That's SPY TALK!
Morticia Addams: Now, now, dear, spy talk now, interrogation later!

TV Show: The Addams Family
[Gomez and Morticia have just recently met]
Gomez: Has anyone ever told you, you have the softest brown eyes?
Morticia: No. Besides, my eyes are blue.
Gomez: No wonder nobody's ever told you!

TV Show: The Addams Family
[repeated line]
Uncle Fester: Shoot 'em in the back!

TV Show: The Addams Family
[repeated line]
Gomez: TISH. That's French.

TV Show: The Addams Family
[repeated line]
Lurch: [gong] You rang?

TV Show: The Addams Family
[repeated line]
Lurch: UH-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-UH!

TV Show: The Addams Family
[repeated line]
Morticia: [siren] Mail's in.

TV Show: The Addams Family
[repeated line]
Morticia: Why, thank you, Thing!

TV Show: The Addams Family
[the dance instructress faints at the sight of Puglsey's toad]
Gomez: Pugsley, take your toad out of here. Things like this upset him.

TV Show: The Addams Family
[Trying to convince Lurch to attend the Butlers' Ball]
Wednesday: It'll be fun.
Lurch: I like being miserable.
Wednesday: You might find a nice girl to be miserable with.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Gomez: [into a telephone] What's the good word? [inaudible response]
Gomez: Surely you can think of a better word than that...

TV Show: The Addams Family

Gomez: [while speaking to a political candidate] I love a man with integrity - I wish I knew one.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Gomez: I'm quite proud of Mrs. Addams' hothouse. She's raised these plants from tiny weeds.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Gomez: Now, if you'll observe, my dear, croquet is a combination of TWO things: balance, timing, peripheral vision, superb coordination, and a killer's instinct!

TV Show: The Addams Family

Gomez: Somebody... down there... likes me!

TV Show: The Addams Family

Gomez: The L stands for Lucifer.
Morticia: Very appropriate for a politician.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Grandmama Addams: [Brandishing a battleaxe] I haven't used this baby since the taxman was here!

TV Show: The Addams Family

Grandmama Addams: Fester, You're not cheating!
Uncle Fester: Sorry.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Lurch: [on why he won't go to the Butlers' Ball] I'm a wallflower.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Morticia: [to Gomez] I've been yours since that first day you carved my initials in your leg.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Morticia: Look at Mr. Addams. He's always developing outside interests.
Gomez: Right now I have the most enviable collection of coroner's reports in the neighborhood.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Morticia: Mr. Addams' treatment for Grandmama's back had the whole medical world agog.
Gomez: Agog? Aghast.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Morticia: Think of Romeo and Juliet.
Gomez: They died!
Morticia: Oh, but what fun they had those last three days.

TV Show: The Addams Family

Wednesday: Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.

TV Show: The Addams Family