Desperate Housewives Quotes
[Bree has told Dr. Goldfine that she's going to ignore all her problems with Rex and stay with him]
Dr. Goldfine: Bree, how does this reconciliation have a chance if the two of you can't be honest about the innermost parts of your lives?
Bree: We're, um, WASPs, Dr. Goldfine. Not acknowledging the elephant in the room is what we do best.
Dr. Goldfine: You'd settle for that - a life filled with repression and denial?
Bree: And dinner parties. Don't forget the dinner parties.
Dr. Goldfine: Bree, how does this reconciliation have a chance if the two of you can't be honest about the innermost parts of your lives?
Bree: We're, um, WASPs, Dr. Goldfine. Not acknowledging the elephant in the room is what we do best.
Dr. Goldfine: You'd settle for that - a life filled with repression and denial?
Bree: And dinner parties. Don't forget the dinner parties.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
[Rex has asked for a divorce in a family restaurant]
Rex: Are we gonna talk about what I said?
Bree: If you think I'm gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labeled Chicks and Dudes, you are out of your mind.
Rex: Are we gonna talk about what I said?
Bree: If you think I'm gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labeled Chicks and Dudes, you are out of your mind.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
[Rex has just told Bree about his masochism]
Rex: For God's sake, you promised to be supportive.
Bree: What do you want me to say? My husband likes to wear metal clamps around his nipples. Hooray?
Rex: For God's sake, you promised to be supportive.
Bree: What do you want me to say? My husband likes to wear metal clamps around his nipples. Hooray?
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: Are you OK?
Gabrielle: Yeah, I just didn't realise how disgusting meat can be.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: Do you believe in evil, Edie?
Edie: Of course I believe in evil - I work in real estate.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: Every time we went out for pizza you could have said, "Hey, I once killed a man".
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: Hey, Edie!
Edie: Wow, get a load of you. You look so pretty. I hardly recognize you.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: It was an accident, Karl. Edie knows it was an accident, right?
Karl: She knows you could've killed her. As it is, she's got a shattered tibia.
Susan: Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I sent roses. Did she get the roses?
Karl: Yep, she cut herself with the thorns.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: There's a good explanation for this, your father broke up with Edie last night.
Julie: You had sex with him the night he broke up with Edie.
Susan: I said it was a good explanation, not a great one.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: What are you smiling about?
Mike Delfino: I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. They were all just answered.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: [Betty and her son Matthew have just moved into the neighborhood] Well, if you need me to come in at any time then, I'll...
Betty Applewhite: [firmly] Edie, we are fine. Thank you.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: [Susan is modeling at a charity fashion show and walks off the catwalk looking tattered, dress ripped to shreds and humiliated] She never looked better!
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: [Susan walks over to Edie deliberately to show off and looks very stylish and beautiful] Wow, get a load of you. You look so pretty. I hardly recognize you.
Susan: Yeah... I have a date... with Mike. We kissed, FYI... [Susan leaves, leaving Edie with her mouth wide-open]
Edie: [Susan comes back from Mike canceling the date] So, how was the big date?
Susan: Mike had to reschedule.
Edie: Aww... 'cause of the hot girl? With the suitcase? Over there? How devastating for you... FYI!
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: [to Bree] You could have an affair with anyone and you choose the pharmacist? You are such a Republican.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: I don't trust friendly women.
Lynette: That's ok, they don't trust you either.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: Maybe we should take a break, you know, see other people.
Mike Delfino: You're telling me this on a day when I'm put in a man's prison?
Edie: Well I said the timing was bad.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: Well, someone might as well say it... Susan, what the hell have you been smoking?
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Lynette Scavo: My favorite game is counting all the things I'm dying to say to you, but I don't! Like... "pipe down, you annoying nutjob!" I could NEVER say that.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Lynette: Do you know what psychological warfare is? [shakes his head]
Porter Scavo: No?
Lynette: Too bad for you.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Lynette: Hi. My baby-sitter cancelled.
Bree: I've got millions of errands to run so...
Lynette: Please hear me out, this is important. Today I have a chance to join the human race for a few hours - there are actual adults waiting for me with margaritas. Look, I'm in a dress, I have make-up on.
Bree: If it were any other day?
Lynette: Oh, for God's sake, Bree, I'm wearing pantyhose.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
George Williams: Well... I'll see you, Dr. Van De Kamp.
Rex: Please, you're dating my wife. Call me Rex.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
George Williams: Where are you going Bree?
Bree: I'm taking my champagne and ageing eggs and I'm going.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Julie: [mocking Susan] Dear diary, Mike doesn't even know I'm alive.
Susan: Shut up.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Julie: [to Susan] I always assumed I'd have sex for the first time before you had it again.
TV Show: Desperate Housewives