Desperate Housewives Quotes
Susan: "How could we have all forgotten about this?"
Lynette: "We didn't exactly forget, it's just usually when the hostess dies that party is off."
Bree: "Lynette!"
Lynette: "I'm not being flip, I'm just pointing out a reality."
Lynette: "We didn't exactly forget, it's just usually when the hostess dies that party is off."
Bree: "Lynette!"
Lynette: "I'm not being flip, I'm just pointing out a reality."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Carl: "The heart wants what it wants."
Susan: "Well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I can control myself!"
Susan: "Well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I can control myself!"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Gabrielle: (to Ashley, about kissing) "And some people kiss their friends, it's like a high-five on the lips!"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Martha: "I was just thinking of that expression, ‘I’ll make mincemeat out of you.’ Mincemeat used to be made up of little bits of meat chopped up, so the expression was like saying, ‘I’ll chop you up into little pieces!’"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie(to Mrs. Huber): "I hate Susan Mayer. Everytime I see those big doe eyes of hers, I swear to God I just want to go out and shoot a deer."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Bree: "I love to try out new recipes before the holidays. That way if the cookbook has it wrong, I can fix it."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Bree: "He could've been a sexual predator."
Rex: "And he ended up at Mrs. Frome's? That's a lose-lose situation."
Rex: "And he ended up at Mrs. Frome's? That's a lose-lose situation."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Lynette: "You can tell them how beautifully behaved the twins are."
Bree: "So you want me to lie?"
Lynette: "I thought that was understood."
Bree: "So you want me to lie?"
Lynette: "I thought that was understood."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Rex: "Oh come on, I'm staying at a motel, I haven't had a decent meal in weeks."
Bree: "Honey, the marriage counseling may not work out, you need to get used to bad cooking."
Bree: "Honey, the marriage counseling may not work out, you need to get used to bad cooking."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Bree: "Rex. The truth is, with the kids gone, I'll be all by myself in this house for the first time in seventeen years."
Rex: "Honey, I know it's hard to hear, but the marriage counseling might not work out. You need to get used to being alone."
Bree: "You're right. That was hard to hear."
Rex: "Honey, I know it's hard to hear, but the marriage counseling might not work out. You need to get used to being alone."
Bree: "You're right. That was hard to hear."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Lynette: "Did you bat your eyes? You know, it doesn't work if you don't bat your eyes."
Susan: "Honey, I batted everything that wasn't nailed down."
Susan: "Honey, I batted everything that wasn't nailed down."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: "I hate to bother you while you're um...working, but do you have change for a 5? Preferably in quarters.
Prostitute: "If I got paid in quarters I must be doing something wrong!"
Prostitute: "If I got paid in quarters I must be doing something wrong!"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Gabrielle: "Yeah, I’ve seen who you’ve been busy with."
John: "Danielle? Come on, I mean, she’s just a friend."
Gabrielle: "Well, before you get any friendlier, let me remind you, I can do things to you she can’t even pronounce"
John: "Danielle? Come on, I mean, she’s just a friend."
Gabrielle: "Well, before you get any friendlier, let me remind you, I can do things to you she can’t even pronounce"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Bree: "Is that how you see me? As some sort of prude who just lays there like a cold fish? I love sex."
Dr. Goldfine: "All right."
Bree: "I love everything about it. The sensations, the smells. I especially love the feel of a man. All that muscle and sinew pressed against my body. And then, when you add friction. Mmm ... The tactile sensation of running my tongue over a man’s nipple ever so gently. And then there’s the act itself - two bodies becoming one in that final eruption of pleasure. To be honest, the only thing I don’t like about sex is the scrotum. I mean, obviously it has its practical applications, but I’m just not a fan."
Dr. Goldfine: "All right."
Bree: "I love everything about it. The sensations, the smells. I especially love the feel of a man. All that muscle and sinew pressed against my body. And then, when you add friction. Mmm ... The tactile sensation of running my tongue over a man’s nipple ever so gently. And then there’s the act itself - two bodies becoming one in that final eruption of pleasure. To be honest, the only thing I don’t like about sex is the scrotum. I mean, obviously it has its practical applications, but I’m just not a fan."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Julie: "How am I supposed to blend in with a bunch of messed up teenagers?"
Susan: "I dunno, pretend you're bulimic, gag a little."
Susan: "I dunno, pretend you're bulimic, gag a little."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Bree: "I'm repairing a chipped mug."
Rex: "Why don't you just buy a new one?"
Bree: "Because I think it's better to fix what you already have."
Rex: "Why don't you just buy a new one?"
Bree: "Because I think it's better to fix what you already have."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan(about borrowing the car) : "It's no big deal. It's only for a couple of hours. I let you borrow my eggs for a whole year!"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Bree: "How much longer is your mid-life crisis going to last because it's really starting to tick me off!"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Lynette: "Next Spring, we're going to do 'Bambi' and his mother is going to take a slug to the heart....and you're gonna like it!"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Mary Alice(voiceover): "Competition, it means different things to different people. But whether it’s a friendly rivalry...or a fight to the death...the end result is the same. There will be winners...and there will be losers. Of course, the trick is to know which battles to fight. You see, no victory comes without a price."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: "Hey Edie!"
Edie: "Wow, get a load of you. You look so pretty. I hardly recognize you."
Edie: "Wow, get a load of you. You look so pretty. I hardly recognize you."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
[Susan is embarassed after having been hit in the face by a mechanical bull]
Susan: "Everybody's staring at me, aren't they?"
Mike: "Just the slapstick fans."
Susan: "Everybody's staring at me, aren't they?"
Mike: "Just the slapstick fans."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Edie: "I am not going to apologize for having a healthy sex life!"
Martha: "Healthy? I'm going to have to burn every sheet you've touched."
Martha: "Healthy? I'm going to have to burn every sheet you've touched."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Bree: "This is the most impoverished neighborhood in the city. Trust me, someone will steal the car."
Rex: "How can you be so sure?"
Bree: "Because I have faith in the poor."
Rex: "How can you be so sure?"
Bree: "Because I have faith in the poor."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Father Crowley: "Don't you want to be a good person?"
Gabrielle: "What I want is to be happy."
Father Crowley: "That's the answer of a selfish child."
Gabrielle: "I know."
Gabrielle: "What I want is to be happy."
Father Crowley: "That's the answer of a selfish child."
Gabrielle: "I know."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
(Doorbell rings)
Lynette: "Go to hell. (doorbell rings 3 times) Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell."
Lynette: "Go to hell. (doorbell rings 3 times) Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell."
TV Show: Desperate Housewives
Susan: (to Bongo, Mike's dog) "If you came in here to judge me, you can just leave. (Bongo turns around) No! Wait! Don't go!"
TV Show: Desperate Housewives