CSI - Miami Quotes

[Calleigh and Speed are trying to find a counterfeiter's hideout.]
Calleigh: Didn't you use to date a girl at the Department of Water and Power?
Speed: I did, a long time ago, she hates me, why?
Calleigh: Well, it's just that it takes an awful lot of juice to run an offset printer, and the electrical bill of our counterfeit house would be...spiking...It's not that tough to ask...even if she hates you.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Suspect: Hey! So what happens to me?
Horatio: 20 years to life.
Suspect: 20 years for stealing counterfeit cash? The money isn't even real.
Horatio: Killing somebody was.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: This is all he left behind. [Points to a machine gun.]
Horatio: Because his hands were filled with 3.2 million dollars.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: So why would a guy who just robbed an armored truck be parked like a sitting duck?
Horatio: Maybe because I put two in his gas tank.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Suzie: Horatio...I told you, just because I slept with your brother, does not make us your problem.
Horatio: No, but it makes you my family.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: Paul, in my business, I don't have that luxury of believing anyone.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Yelina: It’s funny what people will do and think we’ll never figure it out.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Alexx: His name is Avi Golan, Israeli citizen and look what's listed under occupation.
Horatio: "Import/Export," how organized crime.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: I'm going to get some love from the Feds, they owe me a favor.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Alexx: Brutal murder, broad daylight, in the middle of the Grove, thought I'd seen it all.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: Doesn't make sense if we're dealing with an amateur... [Stands and puts on sunglasses.] But we are looking for a pro.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Wally Shmagin: Be careful with that!
Officer Everhart: Is that really Lizzy Borden's axe?
Wally Shmagin: That's right. Cost me fifteen grand.
Speed: Well, you should get your money back, because the real axe doesn't have a handle on it. It's on display in Fall River, Massachusetts.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Carrie Delgado: Tim! Tell me you're kidding. Fifty blood stains?
Speed: Sorry. The next time, I'll ask the victim to die in one spot.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: I mean, that's like having brush guards on your SUV.
Officer Everhart: I have brush guards on my SUV.
Speed: And how many times have you gone off-road? Exactly. It's for appearance.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: Speed.
Speed: These mints were curiously strong, they have the same chemical makeup as the residues from the baggies at the scene... opioid analgesic.
Horatio: Painkillers? What about a brand?
Speed: Oxycodin, it's hillbilly heroin.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: Revelations on Mike Griffith, Alexx.
Alexx: Yeah, the human body wasn't made to withstand bullets.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: You know, Josh, the truth...has this funny, mysterious way of finding daylight... Book him!

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: You know, Alexx, there is nothing and then there is nothing! I'm gonna get this to trace!

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: [To Stetler.] You're ahead of the curve. That's sexy.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
[Horatio inquires about a prostitute witness.]
Horatio: What's her name?
Gary: Like they give you the real one.
Speed: We'll take a fake one and a location.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: Somebody left DNA?
Valera: 3 "Somebodies."
Speed: You're kidding me.
Valera: First donor was female: saliva, she's a gum chewer.
Speed: Are there any CODIS hits?
Valera: Nada!
Speed: Right, how about the other two "somebodies"?
Valera: Not saliva, not female.
Speed: I guess we weren't the only one who got lucky.
Valera: You shouldn't say that, male sample got trapped inside the gum, I'm guessing she chewed it... mmm after.
Speed: Right, she's living dangerously.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: Wow!
Yelina: Me and Stetler huh?
Horatio: When did that happen?
Yelina: He asked me out, I said yes, that's usually how it works.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Calleigh: Do you know her friend's name?
Fred Rutter: Uhh, Maria, Maria something, they're always jabbering in Spanish.
Calleigh: A woman named Maria in Miami... That narrows it down!

TV Show: CSI - Miami
[A police officer is gunned down.]
Horatio: Let's call in all shifts. If they hit one of us, they hit us all.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: You need some help?
Alexx: Nah. I could undress a dead man in my sleep.
Speed: Leaving that one alone.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: He took your idea, and then you took his life.
Heddy: You can't prove that.
Horatio: A word to the wise: this is where you deny the accusation.
Heddy: Am I under arrest?
Horatio: Mmm... not yet.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
[Eric is going over a "peeping Tom's" videos.]
Calleigh: Reality TV, can I watch?
Eric: Yeah, have a seat.
Calleigh: Tell me when I have to look away.
Eric: That's the thing, you never have to.
Calleigh: What are you telling me?
Eric: That Jeff Lathan should probably see a doctor about the little blue pill.
Calleigh: Oh! That explains why he didn't want us to watch the tape.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: Do you realize that you blew up your own cell phone, by putting explosives in it?
Aaron: Yeah, in the battery compartment.
Speed: So what are you, crazy?
Aaron: Hey look some guys like to keep alcohol in their cars, video games... I like to go to the Everglades, blow things up... it's a sport.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
[Alexx survived a booby trap bomb.]
Speed: Figured you'd take a sick day.
Alexx: A little excitement doesn't mean life stops... or death.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Eric: Looks like the autopilot was engaged.
NTSB Tech: Plane flies itself until it's told otherwise.
Calleigh: Why did it stop flying?
NTSB Tech: Could have flown into a rain cloud, wings could have iced up.
Eric: Ice changes the shape of the wing, disrupts the airflow.
Calleigh: That's ironic: who could've guessed that ice could kill you in Miami.
NTSB Tech: A good pilot could've regained control before it hit the beach.
Eric: Yeah, not a dead one.

TV Show: CSI - Miami