CSI - Miami Quotes

Speed: Sir, can you read the yellow tape there? It says 'Crime Scene.'
Ted: Hey, I got a permit to be here.
Speed: Ohhhhh, you've got a permit!
Ted: Yeah, that's right. From Parks and Rec.
Speed: [Getting out cellphone] Well, I'm going to let you tell that to the parents of the girl who got murdered here last night.
Ted: Woah, wait a minute--
Speed: I'm going to let you tell them that we can't process this crime scene because you have a permit for a party.
Ted: You misunderstood me.
Speed: Then I'm going to arrest your cheap, tequila-pushing ass, and have you spend the night in lockup, with all the drunk-and-disorderlies, and you can smell the vomit of the fraternity boys.
Ted: You know what, man, maybe I should just ah, wait, until you're finished.
Speed: That's a capital idea, Ted.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Eric: Cute girls.
Calleigh: Yeah, they thought you were cute, too.
Eric: Yeah, What did they say?
Calleigh: They wanted to know if you had a younger brother.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: Jon, this guy stinks.
Dr. Jon Grizel: Well, maybe, Horatio - but the courts only care how the evidence smells.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Quentin Haid: The club was grandfathered in--built pre-code.
Horatio Caine: Yeah, I bet you those chained exit doors were grandfathered in, too, huh?
Quentin Haid: What'd you expect me to do? People were sneaking in.
Horatio Caine: And dying to get out.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Eric: Two disposable cameras. More pictures…
Speed: More porn!
Eric: I won't be taking this to one-hour photo!

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Calleigh: Aren't you supposed to be off this case?
Alexx: Joan's got the report. Can't help it if I can read upside-down.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Alexx: You're not even going to ask me why she slipped Dennis eye drops?
Calleigh: I'm a lawyer's daughter. I don't ask a question I have the answer to.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: [To the tweakers.] Everybody take their left hand and stick it out, please. Left hand.
Tripp: [To one of the tweakers.] Your other left hand, Scruffy.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Hank Kerner: This ain't over, bitch. I'll be seeing you.
Calleigh: Well, you know what the thing is, Hank, it doesn't really matter if you do, because even if you get rid of me, someone will step in my place, and if you silence me, the evidence has its own voice and it keeps saying over and over, "you." You and your bullets. You know what, and by the way, where you're going, I think you're going to be the bitch.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Hagen: You know Hank Kerner, our fugitive.
Calleigh: Yeah. We've been through two hung juries together, it's not like we're picking out china.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Calleigh: [As she holds a gun to Hank Kerner's head, just like he's done to all his victims] How does it feel?

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Hagen: Will you stay with Speedle tonight? Or Delko?
Calleigh: Actually, I'm gonna stay here.
Hagen: Then I'm gonna stay with you.
Calleigh: OK. So long as we're clear you're doing it for you and not for me.
Hagen: Crystal-clear.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Stewart Otis: I will get out. It's my nature.
Horatio: And I'll be waiting. That's my nature.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: One man's family album is another man's porn.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: Where were you? I called you three times.
Eric: Had my phone on vibrate, I was, uh...a little busy.
Speed: Yeah?
Eric: Didn't want to be interrupted.
Speed: Busy with the left hand?
Eric: Funny.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: One minute, you're running the world, and the next, you're in a six-by-six.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Eric(To Speed, holding a dead rat): Hey! Check this out. How did that get from your apartment to there is what I want to know...
Speed: Yeah, that's funny.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Clavo Cruz: You're not gonna catch me floating around in international waters, Caine!
Horatio: But you know what? I'm gonna catch you doing something...
Clavo Cruz: You're threatening me, Caine?
Horatio: That's not a threat. That's a guarantee!

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: Are you a religious man?
Horatio: After a fashion.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Eric: The Emergency Room is not the Medical Examiner!
Speed: You got Tourette's or something, man?

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Calleigh: And the dead girl wasn't dead

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Horatio: I'm the fiber king, so what are you going to do?.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
[Calleigh and Speed are watching a "hot" video tape, strictly for business purposes.]
Speed: Well, that's different.
Calleigh: Someone's been doing yoga.
Co-worker: You guys have a stapler?
Calleigh: No, but you are the third one to ask in the last 10 minutes. Do you want us to burn you a copy?

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Jake Grant, a journalist: It's a list of names...
Horatio: Yes. In the last 12 months, Jake, 7 Hispanic girls and 5 black girls disappeared right here in Miami and not one of them made it to the front page.
Jake Grant: What's your point?
Horatio: What's my point? Make it your next story!

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Calleigh: So I guess the kidnapper was driving a red sports car. It's not exactly subtle...
Speed: Neither is murder.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Eric: If you want any real attention in this world, you've got to have blond hair and blue eyes... no offense.
Calleigh: None taken, my eyes are green.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
[Horatio walks out on Calleigh, without saying anything, after coming to a conclusion.]
Calleigh: Okay! Bye! Keep me posted!

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Speed: Club where people come when the door guy turns you down everywhere else.
Eric: So this is your hangout, Speed.
Speed: You know, did you ever think about taking up stand-up comedy or something like that? Because you're really very funny.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Calleigh: Angelo's got nice taste in cars.
Speed: Hard to go wrong when you spend 80 grand.

TV Show: CSI - Miami
Eric: According to the vic, this cowboy came through the front door, guns blazing.
Speed: I wonder if he tied up his horse.

TV Show: CSI - Miami