CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes

Nick: McKeen's had this hotel room for four days, Pritchard's probably been holed up in here ever since he killed Gedda.
Brass: Pritchard's his problem solver. McKeen's protecting him.
Nick: Not anymore, he killed Warrick and now he needs a fall guy.
Greg: Which makes Pritchard a dead man.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Pritchard: What happens when we get to the state line? Every cop in Nevada has got a picture of my mug.
McKeen: Don't worry about it. I got a radio on, anything happens, I'll hear about. I'm the undersheriff, remember? Nobody's gonna search my car. In 12 hours you'll sitting on a beach in Mexico sippin' margaritas. (Pritchard points a gun at him, McKeen chuckles)
Pritchard: What's so freakin' funny?
McKeen: What you gonna shoot me goin' 80mph? ... What you think I'd let you get into this car with a loaded gun? (laughs) Just sit back and enjoy the ride

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
McKeen (after Nick finds him): Thank god you're here. I was tryin' to bring Pritchard in.
Nick: Shut up.
McKeen: He got the drop on me, he grabbed my gun, I lost control...
Nick (points his gun at McKeen): I said shut up!
McKeen: Okay, you wanna know why I did it? Warrick had a big mouth. You know, I just shot him. I'd try to warn him, but he was just too stupid to listen. You know, when I shot him, he had a big smile on his face. I told him that he could keep his job, I didn't have the heart to fire him. (laughs)
Nick: Shut up.
McKeen: You were his friend. What kinda friend are you? ... Shoot me, you son of a bitch! (Nick is shaking, screen shows Brass running though the woods, Brass hears a shot and runs over to Nick, who is stand over McKeen)
Brass: Nick...
Nick: McKeen has a gunshot wound to the stomach, he's lost a lot of blood, we should get the Med-Evac helicopter here ASAP.
Brass: What was that shot?
Nick: A miss.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom [at Warrick's funeral]: As crime scene investigators, we meet people on the worst day of their lives. They've just lost a family member, somebody they loved, often in a horrible way. A piece of their heart is gone, and will never be replaced. The phrase we're trained to offer them, "I'm sorry for your loss", as we know now, doesn't offer much. Warrick Brown was a young boy when his parents passed away. Much too young to learn that life can be so tragically short. But I think that it taught him how precious life is, and so he lived his life to the fullest, each day as if it was his last day. I was with Warrick on his last day. All the qualities that defined him, his tenaciousness, his deep sense of loyalty, his courage to risk his life for what he knew was right, all those traits were with him on that last day. Just before he died, we were all having breakfast together. Our team. His friends. His family. And Warrick was... he was ... (sobs) I'm going to miss him so much.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: It's not my spider dude.
Greg: Seriously?
Nick: Seriously.
Greg: Little Stevie ? He's been missing for years. Gotta let Sara know, so she can tell? her...
Nick: ... husband.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine (as Greg is carrying a container of goo): Mr. and Mrs. Decomp?
Greg: 'Til death do they centrifuge.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Looks like we have an eyewitness. That should add to the circus.
Ray: Doen't really matter what he has to say, everything we need to know is right here in front of us.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine (after Doc Robbins takes a picture of Olivia and adds it to his scrapbook): That's quite the ghoulish hobby you got there, Doc.
Doc Robbins: I'm quite the ghoul.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Busy morning. We got a possible 420 at a weekly on Boulder Highway. Greg, you take it.
Greg: Are you serious? You're sending me on a trash run at a fleabag motel?
Catherine: What's the problem?
Greg: I mean, why me? There are people here with less seniority.
Ray: Present an accounted for.
Catherine: Ray, it's alright.
Ray: I'd be happy to do it.
Nick: No, no, that's not the point, Ray. When a supervisor assigns you a case, you take it; he knows that.
Greg: Who asked you?
Catherine: Nick, I need you over here.
Nick: You know better than that.
Catherine: Nick! Greg, why don't you go over on the other side of the vehicle.
Greg: Fine!

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: According to the SMD's, Wilkes traveled 3.2 miles from the time of his last engine stop. Now, how do you travel that far, that wasted and sti l stay on the road?
Nick: Individual tolerances vary, just ask Keith Richards.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ecklie: I heard from some uniforms that you guys had a little dust up at the scene.
Catherine: It was just a spirited debate amoung colleagues. My team's very passionate about their work.
Ecklie: Yeah, they're also understaffed and have been for a while, which is why I'm adding another CSI to your shift.
Catherine: Ugh, Conrad. I don't have time to train anybody new.
Ecklie: Don't worry. This one's been around the block. You're gonna get along just fine.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ecklie: Alright, look guys, I got a press conference in an hour and I'd rather not say something that I'll have to backtrack on later. Did Wilkes intentionally kill Olivia Hamilton?
Nick (same time as Ray): I'd say so.
Ray: I doubt it.
Catherine: Maybe you should cancel the press conference.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick [to Ray]: Shooting review board?
Ray: Yeah. (reads the letter) They cleared me.
Nick: Good. Kill or be killed, Ray. It's a terrible situation to be in, man, don't let it bother 'ya.
Ray: It hasn't been bothering me. And that's what's been bothering me.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray (looking at photos of seatbelt bruises on Wilkes): Wilkes was in the passenger seat, he wasn't driving the car. The real driver crashes into Olivia Hamilton, killing her. I don't think the crash broke Wilkes neck, I think the killer moved a drugged out Wilkes into the passanger seat, the killer leaves the scene. The headline reads "Stalker Kills Actress."
Catherine: Which suggests that the killer knew Wilkes was a stalker.
Nick: Well, he certainly picked the right nut job. Even though Wilkes survived, he still confessed to the crime.
Catherine: Can Wilkes corrobarate any of this?
Ray: Oh, he won't. He's too happy being the new Mark David Chapman.
Ecklie: I really hope you're referring to Richard Wilkes. (slaps a magazine down on the table)
Ray: I wasn't.
Catherine (looks at the front page that reads "Vegas Crime lab confirmed: Stalker confessed"): Where'd they get this from?
Ecklie: You tell me.
Catherine: Well, I don't know.
Ecklie: It's your job to know, Catherine. Nobody in this lab should be talking to the media about an open investigation, let alone one of this profile.
Nick: Hey, take it easy, Ecklie. I'm sure she's not the leak.
Catherine: I can defend myself.
Ecklie: This is a discipline problem, Catherine. Just get a grip on your people. I'm beginning to think Riley was right about you.
Catherine: What is that supposed to mean?
Ecklie: You didn't read her exit interview. I put it on her desk. Just read it. (walks off, pissed)
Sara (walks in): Uh... Hi, guys. This a bad time? (smiles)

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: Sara! (they hug) What are you doing here? You tired of being happy and married?
Sara: No, Grissom is guest lecturing at the Sorbonne, while we're waiting to get our research grant to get founded, and Ecklie; called and said the team was down a man and he wondered if I could recommend anyone. And you know, as much as I love Paris and my French is actually pretty good right now, I realized I missed you guys.
Greg: Well, we miss you, too.
Sara: So, uh, how's the world been treating you?
Greg: Oh, you know, still being treated as the lab tech with the crazy hair.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges (putting an apple on her desk): It has ten percent of the FDA's requirements for vitamin C. If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.
Catherine: Hodges, who did you blab to?
Hodges: Nobody in the media, but I did mention something to Tom O'Neill. But only in passing and implicitly in confidence. I would point out that I had not been explicitly forbidden from discussing the case with law enforcement community. Uh, memo from my supervisor to that effect would have been helpful, not that I'm blaming you.
Catherine (throws the apple back at him): Don't ever do anything like that again.
Hodges: Thanks.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray (about O'Neill): He's guilty, Catherine.
Catherine: Okay, how are we gonna prove it?
Ray: I don't know, but we will. (walks off)
Sara (walks up): I like his attitude.
Catherine: Reminds you of you? (Sara laughs)

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Funny thing is, the father's death was probably an accident.
Ray (about O'Neill murdering Olivia): And Olivia's was premeditated. It irrtates me that we weren't able to get him for that.
Sara: But you know what? We know what he did and so does he and he can spend the next 20 years of his life dreaming about his perfect crime. Think of it like busting Al Capone for tax evasion.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Sara, I know that you walked into some fireworks in the breakroom.
Sara: What? Ecklie? Please.
Catherine: No, I just read Riley's exit interview. She had some harsh things to say about my leadership, that the team's fractured, that it lacks cohesion because of me because of my managerial style. I don't know. I-I admit it, I admit that things are different since Grissom left.
Sara: Well... it's like when a great baseball team loses its clean-up hitter; suddenly everybody's swinging for the fences and nobody's playin' small ball.
Catherine (smirks): You're using a baseball analogy.
Sara: Ah, apparently part of being married is attempting to share in your spouse's interests.
Catherine (chuckles): Okay. That's a weird side of you.
Sara (smiles): I know. ... Look, you still have a lot of great players and some new talent. Maybe you just need to reshuffle your lineup.
Catherine: English, please?
Sara: You are a great CSI Catherine, and you know how to manage your team. The only thing Grissom had that you don't... is you. (Catherine smiles)

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: A man who wears a tuxedo every day doesn't forget his bow tie.
Catherine: So what, someone took it?
Ray: His bow tie's missing, his intestines are tied into a bow. That can't be a conscidence. I think Dr. Jekyll took it as a souvenir.
Catherine: A souvenir? That's what serial killers do. JoJo died of natual causes.
Ray: I have a bad feeling that this isn't the last time we're going to see Dr. Jekyll and I think next time he's not going to be content starting with a dead body.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Craig, if we made you feel like you were paying for your father's crimes, then I'm sorry.
Craig: You know, I never even met Mr. Millander, yet I'm more like a Millander than a Mason. You probably wonder how that happened.
Sara: It has crossed my mind.
Craig: My father, Doug Mason used to take me to the Halloween warehouse once a month. He told me that the owner, Mr. Millander was his friend, and he'd play with me with me just like every father would play with his son. Millander's costumes were like toys to me, and I'd tell my father every time that we went to tell this Mr. Millander that he was a genius. And then one day it all stopped, I lost both my father and my idol. And making masks and rubber hands is just my way of keeping the connection alive.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ray: See, Craig, you and I have something in common: We both have father's who killed people.
Craig: Your father was a serial killer?
Ray: No, he was a soldier in the Korean War. He even got a Bronze Star for his work.
Craig: That's different.
Ray: No it's not. See, even after the war was over, my father continued to fight, every once in a while he'd go out to a bar, not so much to drink, but to pick fights. I remember one day, he came home one day and was very excited. He had a black eye and a fat lip, and was bragging about how he had knocked somebody out. Said he hit the man so hard the paramedics had to peel him off the floor, said it was the most fun he had ever had.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: DNA came up empty. There is no sign of either victim on Craig Mason's clothes or shoes. I did notice some scars on his arm, I think he was using the straight razor to cut himself.
Nick: Hodges analyzed the trace that was found on the outside of the webcam house, and it was a match to Craig's corpse make-up.
Catherine: So we can put him at the house, but not in the house.
Greg: And we have nothing so far that puts him at the drug dealer's house.
Catherine: Keep looking. His mother hasn't bailed him out yet.
Sara: I don't think she's going to. She had that look in her eye, that maybe he did it. It is classic escalation from peeper to murderer.
Ray: He was a teenager, there were attractive women coming in and out of that house all the time. It doesn't seem that sinister to me, besides he didn't murder the person he was peeping.
Nick: Maybe he saw Ryan Lester as competition. Lester was intimate with Marnie, Craig could only watch her from a distance.
Ray: Alright, say that's true. What about the second victim, Cliff Kilo?
Catherine: Extensive criminal record. Mostly drug related.
Ray: Why would Mason murder a drug dealer? Did he have drugs in his system?
Greg: No. Tox panel came back clean. And it wasn't about money, I mean, there was cash all over the house.
Ray: If Craig wasn't a ghoul, and his father hadn't come after Grissom, would you be considering him at all? (they all look at each other, saying 'No')

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: Porn house, drug house, Millander house in between, they must throw one hell of a block party.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: I have seen this mask before. Is it from a horror movie or something?
Nick: This job is a horror movie. I don't even watch those anymore.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick (after turning off the water in the tub the victim is laying in): Killer forgot that we're in a drought.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
David (to Nick): Sorry, I'm late. The freezer is still on the fritz from when those ROC dudes tore up the place. Not like we can hang a closed sign on the door or anything.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick (wondering to himself): I wonder if the bedroom across the hall has a webcam, too?
David: Uh, I'm pretty sure it does.
Nick: How would you know somethin' like that?
David: Nick, can I tell you somethin' personal?
Nick: Maybe.
David: Mrs. Phillips and I... occasionally enjoy a little... live stimulation to get us into the mood. (Nick smirks) What I'm saying, is that uh... I am intimately familiar with this bedroom. I subscribe to the website.
Nick: Well, try and maintain your objectivity.
David: Dude, of course. (they walk over towards the body and Sara)
Nick: After you.
Sara: Hey, David, I missed your face.
David: Aww, it's good to see you.
Sara: How's your wife?
David: Why? What have you heard? (Sara looks confused and looks towards Nick who shrugs)

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins [to Ray]: You're in a room with no doors and windows. How do you get out?
Ray: The same way you got in. (they laugh) Mm. I heard it this way: You're in a room with no doors and windows, there's a chainsaw and a table in the room. How do you get out?
Doc Robbins: I give up.
Ray: You cut the table in half. Two halves make a...
Doc Robbins: A whole.
Ray: And out you go. (they chuckle again)

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara [to Craig]: Las Vegas Police. We need you to step outside.
Craig (scoffs): You aren't the police.
Nick: That's alright, we brought one with us. Get your ass up.

TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation