Corner Gas Quotes
Lacey: Phobias are irrational, they don't have to make sense. Don't you guys have any?
Brent: Fears? Not really. I mean, just the standard stuff, you know. Pirates, vampires, sasquatch, intimacy, commitment.
Lacey: What about you?
Wanda: None come to mind. Being intimate with a sasquatch.
Brent: Fears? Not really. I mean, just the standard stuff, you know. Pirates, vampires, sasquatch, intimacy, commitment.
Lacey: What about you?
Wanda: None come to mind. Being intimate with a sasquatch.
TV Show: Corner Gas
[Karen has lost her footbag.]
Karen: I'm looking for my footbag.
Oscar: It's called a sock, Einstein!
Karen: I'm looking for my footbag.
Oscar: It's called a sock, Einstein!
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Karen: look at my footbag! I could do this forever!
Davis: I don't like that footbag. Lenny on Law & Order, he wouldn't hacky-sack.
Karen: ...All in the knee...
Davis: That other guy on Law & Order...he might hackey-sack...
Davis: I don't like that footbag. Lenny on Law & Order, he wouldn't hacky-sack.
Karen: ...All in the knee...
Davis: That other guy on Law & Order...he might hackey-sack...
TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: The hunter has become the hunted! The fox has become... the fox... that has caught... itself?
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Brent: This is the Dog River Howler after all, the info is sketchy at best. Remember last year when those coyotes were comin' into town, eatin' people's cats.
Dog River Howler: Cattle killed by Werewolfs!
Hank: Plus, the plural of werewolf is werewolves... with a "v".
Brent: Also a good point.
Dog River Howler: Cattle killed by Werewolfs!
Hank: Plus, the plural of werewolf is werewolves... with a "v".
Brent: Also a good point.
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Mayor Fitzgerald: It's time that Dog River joined the 20th century.
Karen: Now we'll only be one century behind.
Karen: Now we'll only be one century behind.
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Brent: Wanda, can I show you something?
Wanda: I've already seen your belly doing the hula.
Wanda: I've already seen your belly doing the hula.
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Emma: Why don't you call? You have such a beautiful voice.
Wanda: At Karaoke Night, you threw a shoe at me.
Emma: My feet were tired.
Wanda: At Karaoke Night, you threw a shoe at me.
Emma: My feet were tired.
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Davis: Get her!
Karen: Yeah! Get her!
Lacey: Oh, have a heart!
Brent: That's "hurry hard".
Karen: Yeah! Get her!
Lacey: Oh, have a heart!
Brent: That's "hurry hard".
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Hank: You can't just leave me here! It's like 10 miles to town!
Davis: It's your house, you'll live.
Hank: All I have to eat here are pickles and Pop Rocks!
Davis: You'll probably live.
Davis: It's your house, you'll live.
Hank: All I have to eat here are pickles and Pop Rocks!
Davis: You'll probably live.
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[Davis holds up a piece of wood and shows Wes.]
Davis: I'll give you this if you get rid of the ATM.
Wes: You're bribing me with a piece of wood?
Davis: It's not just a piece of wood, I've got a whole pile of wood. It's yours.
Davis: I'll give you this if you get rid of the ATM.
Wes: You're bribing me with a piece of wood?
Davis: It's not just a piece of wood, I've got a whole pile of wood. It's yours.
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Fitzy: My plan to promote Dog River is working. An American tourist came here accidentally.
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Oscar: You gotta stop living in the past.
Emma: Does that mean we can finally get a digital clock?
Oscar: Sure, if you want to blow 800 bucks.
Emma: Idiot.
Emma: Does that mean we can finally get a digital clock?
Oscar: Sure, if you want to blow 800 bucks.
Emma: Idiot.
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Davis: A rooster lays an egg on a roof; which side does it roll down?
Hank: The Alberta side! No wait, trick question, the roof is flat.
Davis: Nope. It's a slanted roof.
Hank: He he.... the egg is square!
[Karen and Davis look at each other stunned.]
Hank: No?
Hank: The Alberta side! No wait, trick question, the roof is flat.
Davis: Nope. It's a slanted roof.
Hank: He he.... the egg is square!
[Karen and Davis look at each other stunned.]
Hank: No?
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Karen: Okay. A plane crashes on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the survivors?
Hank: Hmmm. Well, I guess you gotta figure out which province has more of the plane.
Karen: The plane is equally divided between the two provinces.
Hank: Oh.
Karen: [Repeats herself] A plane crashes directly on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the survivors?
Hank: Ohhhhh! The survivors... one on each side.
Hank: Hmmm. Well, I guess you gotta figure out which province has more of the plane.
Karen: The plane is equally divided between the two provinces.
Hank: Oh.
Karen: [Repeats herself] A plane crashes directly on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the survivors?
Hank: Ohhhhh! The survivors... one on each side.
TV Show: Corner Gas
Brent: ...the committee to convince a young doctor to live in Dog River or C.T.C.A.Y.D.T.L.I.D.R. or ctcaydtlidr.
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Dr. Chris Garner: Please. You guys think I don't know what's going on? It's obvious the whole town has conspired to convince me not to live here. The weird sexcapades of Brent and his friends.
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Dr Chris Garner: People tossing their kids out. And the constant smothering by this woman who dresses all slutty.
Lacey: (fake laugh) Flirty...!
Lacey: (fake laugh) Flirty...!
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Oscar: What's all the racket? I can hear you clear across town!
Brent: You can hear us two blocks away?
Brent: You can hear us two blocks away?
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Oscar: Back in the 70s, I wrote a tune called Mona the Monkey. Next thing you know, I turn on the radio and there's Earl the Squirrel.
Karen: That's not exactly what we in the police business call "hard evidence".
Davis: It's not even soft evidence.
Oscar: Mona the Monkey? Earl the Squirrel?
Lacey: Casper the Ghost. Dennis the Menace.
Karen: Tony the Tiger.
Davis: Winnie the Pooh.
Lacey: Soup of the Day.
Oscar: You're all smart. Maybe Tony the Pooh doesn't know when he's being ripped off, ever think about that?
Lacey: Maybe just a half cup for you today.
Karen: That's not exactly what we in the police business call "hard evidence".
Davis: It's not even soft evidence.
Oscar: Mona the Monkey? Earl the Squirrel?
Lacey: Casper the Ghost. Dennis the Menace.
Karen: Tony the Tiger.
Davis: Winnie the Pooh.
Lacey: Soup of the Day.
Oscar: You're all smart. Maybe Tony the Pooh doesn't know when he's being ripped off, ever think about that?
Lacey: Maybe just a half cup for you today.
TV Show: Corner Gas
Brent: Let me guess, you're broke.
Hank: What makes you say that?
Wanda: Because you're staring at the cash the way Hank stares at cash. [pause] Oh my God, you've become your own metaphor.
Hank: What makes you say that?
Wanda: Because you're staring at the cash the way Hank stares at cash. [pause] Oh my God, you've become your own metaphor.
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Hank: Hey, I take good care of this truck!
Brent: Is that why there's smoke billowing out of the hood?
Brent: Is that why there's smoke billowing out of the hood?
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Brent: That's right, Wes is nuts. This coming from a guy who once punched a skunk.
Oscar: He had it comin'.
Oscar: He had it comin'.
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