Corner Gas Quotes

Oscar: I rub my left elbow, bunt; I rub my right elbow, bursitis. Bunt, bursitis. Bursitis, bunt.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: Aw, man... I can taste Wes eating those nachos now.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Brent: I can't eat your jelly salad this year, Mom. Lacey has me on some South ParkAtkins Diet.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Brent: Hold my monkey.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Brent: [referring to fake money on money tree] "Well why can't you get it yourself, did some fictional hooligan steal your make believe ladder?

TV Show: Corner Gas
Oscar: You just bought ten thousand dollars worth of stocks in twenty seconds; Congratulations, you are the stupidest man in the world!
Hank: Oh yeah? Let's see you do it faster!

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: I had a dream about your mom.
Brent: ..You have five seconds to make my skin stop crawling.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Oscar: Canada has more Ukranians than one other country, can you guess which one?
Emma: The Ukraine?
Oscar: Yeah, it's the Ukraine!

TV Show: Corner Gas
Brent: Quitting coffee is hard; quittin' knittin' is easy...and fun to say. Quittin' knittin', quittin' knittin', quittin' knittin'...

TV Show: Corner Gas
Wanda: Hey, Lacey! I need your boards; I'm up to my armpits in bulletins!
Brent: That's almost two feet of bulletins.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Oscar: The dog hears voices!?

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: Is Aruba near Cuba?
Lacey: They don't arrange countries phonetically.
Hank: It would be cool if they did, though. Then Canada would be next to...Granada.
Lacey: It's Grenada.
Hank: Yeah right! And we live in Ca-Nay-Da. So did he tell you where he was going next?
Lacey: Yeah! Yeah, he just landed in Madrid, which is right next to, uh...Fadrid.
Hank: Oh! Lucky skunk.
Lacey: Hank, he's not lucky. He's delusional.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Wanda: Dear Brent, I know you're on vacation, but if you get the chance; maybe in between your pedicure and your mud bath, you can fix the debit machine like you said you would. All the best, Wanda.
Brent: Dear Wanda: you can do it. Sincerely, Brent.
Wanda: Dear Brent, I don't have the pass codes to fix the machine, now do I? P.S.: Your shirt's ugly.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: Where's Incommunicado?
Wanda: You're familiar with the island of Ignoramus?

TV Show: Corner Gas
Oscar: Not now, I'm downloading a google.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Oscar: That's probably because you hooked your hard drive in to the protocol, and using bits to spamming up the Internet
Wanda: How are we ever going to tell when you actually do lose your mind?

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: To defeat a child, you gotta think like a child!
Brent: You are uniquely qualified.
Brent: (running from kids) I've had it with your stupid plans, Now it's time for my stupid plans.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: With your knowledge of city stuff, and my knowledge of non-city stuff, we know all stuff!
Lacey: We know all stuff. Wow, that does sound tempting, but I'm not really drawn to a night of drinking beer and watching TV.
Hank: Well, there are prizes.
Lacey: What kind of prizes?
Hank: Beer and a TV.
Lacey: I feel like we don't connect...

TV Show: Corner Gas
Karen: So how did Florence die, anyway?
Wanda: Oh, uh, she died of a rare condition called, uh, almost 100.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Lacey: Mistletoe.
Brent: Hey, is that fake or real? Cause if that's real, it's probably my mom's.
Lacey: I better take it down.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Brent: Here, I'll get that.
Lacey: Are you sure?
Lacey: Brent, be careful.
Brent: I got it.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Emma: Same damn thing every year.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Lacey: Hank was right, my newspaper was late this morning.
Brent: Yeah, well, you can thank my dad. He's your eager 12-year-old.
Lacey: Really? Ha! That is so sweet. Sweet and a little bit sad. Mostly sad.
Brent: Yeah, we're all very proud.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Lacey: Why should I pay you? These tips are for my service.
Man: Can I get a coffee?
Lacey: In a sec!
Wanda: Come on! Betty or Veronica? Anyone can think of that.
Lacey: This is what I'm saying.
Hank: Yeah? Well, I don't need this! I quit!
Lacey: You're quitting a job you never had.
Hank: It's finally sinking in, isn't it? No more questions from me.
Lacey: [to Wanda] Thanks for sticking up for me.
Wanda: I got your back, sister! [they high-five]

TV Show: Corner Gas
Wanda: I'm full of wit.
Lacey: Rhymes with wit.

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Hank: All great artists overcome adversity.
Brent: Actually most of 'em go nuts, lop off an ear or two.
Hank: Lop off my ear!? Some help you are!

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Davis: Award of Excellence? They don't have that in the Olympics.
Oscar: Oh believe me, I tried.

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[Davis is bugging Oscar about the hole in his muffler.]
Oscar: A porcupine died for that hole, buddy boy!
Davis: Don't make this about the porcupine!

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Davis: When have you ever cut my hair?
Karen: You take a lot of naps.

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Lacey: Seriously, Wanda. I need your complete, impartial opinion.
Wanda: Alright. I'll be completely impartial. I'll listen to you and Dingledork (referring to Hank)
Hank: Hey!

TV Show: Corner Gas