Corner Gas Quotes

Oscar: Ungrateful ungrates!
Hank: Ingrates. I think that's ingrates.
Oscar: Ingrateful ingrates!

TV Show: Corner Gas
Oscar: It's like Africa in here. It's like a sauna. It's like a Sauna in Africa!
Emma: Oh, It's imperceptible.
Oscar: Well I percept it!

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: Blink twice if you're in danger.
(Shortly thereafter)
Hank: You blinked like 13 times; I don't know what that means.

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Karen: Prison. You know, the jughouse?

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Wanda: What's four times five?
Brent and Karen: 19.
Oscar: 21.
Brent and Karen: 19.
Oscar: 21.
Brent and Karen: 19.
Fitzy: What's going on?
Wanda: I asked them what four times five is.
Fitzy: Isn't that 20?
Man: Yeah, Fitzy's right.
Oscar: 21.
Brent and Karen: 19.
Man and Fitzy: 20.

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Karen: I need an excuse of some sort.
Wanda: But I did all this work!
Karen: That's the excuse... you did all the work!

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Oscar: No, that's it; I'm not doing it.
Emma: You're being cruel; I never ask you to do anything.
Oscar: What are you talking about. You ask me to do stuff all the time.
[In a Flashback]Emma: Oscar, can you pass me the milk?
Oscar: And I got a lot more examples.

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Karen: Hey, Davis. I figured you'd be in tax prison by now.

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Karen: You make it sound like Christmas.
Wanda: Tax time beats the crap out of Christmas.

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Lacey: Why do people who like to do things make people who don't like to do things do things?

TV Show: Corner Gas
Hank: Hello, question mark. Is there anybody out there, question mark. Nobody's reading this blog are they... question mark. I'm gettin' a sandwich.

TV Show: Corner Gas
Emma: this will be fun! Food, people, the smell of the grill.
Lacey: That's my job. I do this all day.
Emma: But this is outside!
Lacey (sarcastically): Oh great. My job plus bugs.

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Wanda: I think I've got Hot Cross Buns Down, let's try Three Blind Mice.
Emma: They're the same tune.
Wanda: ...You just blew my mind.
Emma: Glad to have helped.

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Oscar: Who's punching your horses now?

TV Show: Corner Gas
Wanda (to Hank): If you are not injured from this accident, you will be when I'm done with you!
Hank: I think I broke my wrist.
Wanda: Damn!
Hank: I know!

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Hank: You don't know how it goes down! You don't even know when it goes down! It just went down and you didn't even know!
Oscar: You don't know me, where I'm from, what my sass factor is!

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Brent: I so don't believe you. My disbelief is like an iron fortress of disbelief... patrolled by Superman... and he doesn't believe you either.

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Oscar: [Seeing pregnant women] Headcount! One... and a half. Let's go.

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Fitzy: 3 and a half people! That's all you counted? You're both fired.
Oscar: You don't know how it goes down on the street. You sit here behind your desk.
Fitzy: I don't have a desk! It's a door on two filing cabinets!
Oscar: Oh, well you should have one, you're the mayor.

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Hank: You beat Brent! You're Queen of the Knobs!
Karen: Please don't call me that.

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Davis: How come you never let me use the siren?

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Oscar: Something's different about these mashed potatoes.
Emma: That's because it's RICE.
Oscar: Needs sour cream.

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Wanda: (talking about the bowl to Emma) I paid fifty bucks for it on Ebay!
Emma: Fifty bucks, is that all?
Mayor Fitzy: Yeah, I mean for an enchanted bowl that's a bargain!

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Fitzy: Your meatloaf's good, but I wanted a cheeseburger. Actually, I heard there was sashimi but it's not on the menu.
Karen: I can do sashimi.

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Lacey: Can I get you anything else?
Fitzy: Do you have sashimi?
Lacey: Eat your meatloaf.

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Fitzy: I guess my strategy of no one running against me, is working.

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Fitzy: You know, of all the ideas I've heard; your is the first. Let's do it.

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Guy in Suit: Meet the new manager of the Dog River Pump 'N' Go.
Oscar: Have a nice day, jackass.

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Emma: So whaddya think?
Oscar: I dunno. Where's the gotcha? Where's the water cooler? Maybe if you had an ostrich. You don't talk about it, it's just there. Ostrich. Think about it.

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Hank: Yeah-ah, I got this friend, who egged a cable van.
Peggy: We only take questions about pets.
Hank: [Pause] I have this pet, who egged a cable van...

TV Show: Corner Gas