Batman Quotes

Robin: Holy ______ Batman!

TV Show: Batman
Batman: Commissioner Gordon?
Dr. Chase Meridian: He's at home. I sent the signal.
Batman: What's wrong?
Dr. Chase Meridian: Last night, at the bank, I noticed something about Two-Face. His coin. It's his Achilles' heel. It can be exploited.
Batman: I know. You called me here for this? The Batsignal is not a beeper.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Well I wish I could say that my interest in you was... purely professional.
Batman: You trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Dr. Chase Meridian: A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
Batman: It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.
Dr. Chase Meridian: What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school it was guys with earrings. College, motorcycles, leather jackets. Now, *oh*, black rubber.
Batman: Try firemen, less to take off.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind the mask.
Batman: We all wear masks.
Dr. Chase Meridian: My life's an open book. You read?
Batman: I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine, you bring your scarred psyche.
Batman: Direct aren't you?
Dr. Chase Meridian: You like strong women. I've done my homework. Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?
Batman: I haven't had that much luck with women.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Maybe you just haven't met the right woman.

TV Show: Batman
Bruce Wayne: [Edward extends his had to shake Bruce's] Mister...?
Edward Nygma: Ohhhhh... Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne: No, that's uh, my name. And you are?
Edward Nygma: Oh! Nygma. Edward... Edward Nygma. You hired me personally. We've never actually met, but you signed the employment form yourself. I have it.
Bruce Wayne: I'm gonna need that hand back, Ed.
Edward Nygma: Oh! Yes, of course! I'm sorry. It's just that... you're my idol.
Fred Stickley: [reaches for Nygma's arm] Back to work Edward.
Edward Nygma: [yanks arm away] And *some* people have been trying to keep us apart.
Fred Stickley: Back to work Edward!
Bruce Wayne: It's okay. So, Mr. Nygma, what's on your mind?
Edward Nygma: Precisely! What's on all our minds? Brainwaves. [giggles]
Edward Nygma: The future of Wayne Enterprises is brainwaves. [runs into his cubicle]
Fred Stickley: You'll have to forgive this Mr. Wayne. I personally terminated this project this morning!
Bruce Wayne: It's okay.
Edward Nygma: [pops out with a high-tech contraption] I have it! Voila! Huh? My invention beams any TV signal directly into the human brain. By stimulating the neurons, manipulating brainwaves if you will, this device makes the viewer feel like they're actually inside the show! Why be brutalized by an uncaring world?
Bruce Wayne: Did you say manipulating brainwaves?
Edward Nygma: Well... uh... yes.
Bruce Wayne: Hmmm.
Edward Nygma: Not that someone like you would need th

TV Show: Batman
[Batman has been lured into a trap by Catwoman]
Batman: Four against one...
Robin: Four against two Batman!
Batman: Robin!
Robin: I couldn't resist. You were taken in by her, but I'm too young for that sort of thing.

TV Show: Batman
[crouched atop a dazed Batman]
Catwoman: You're catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for. You're the second man who killed me this week, but I've got seven lives left.
Batman: I tried to save you.
Catwoman: Seems like every woman you try to save winds up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe it's time for you to retire.

TV Show: Batman
[Batman confronts Ra's, flanked by two of his ninjas]
Batman: It ends here.
Ra's al Ghul: For you and the police, maybe. My fight, however, lies with the rest of Gotham. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a city to destroy.
Batman: I can't beat two of your pawns?
Ra's al Ghul: As you wish. [two more ninjas drop down from above]

TV Show: Batman
[from the teaser]
Batman: Emergency! Batman speaking... warning all of you to brace yourselves for big news!
Robin: The biggest!
Batman: Tell them, Robin.
Robin: Holy Superlatives, Batman! It's *really* exciting! Soon, very soon, Batman and I will be Batapulting right out of your TV sets and onto your theater screens!
Batman: That's right, Robin. Our first full-length feature motion picture opens a *whole* new world of thrills! The Big Screen gives us mores space on land, sea, and in the air, to challenge the most Bataclysmic collection of supercriminals that ever plotted to take over the world!

TV Show: Batman
Riddler [holding up Van Jones]: Mr. Van Jones, why are you like a clock at midnight? Answer: because both your hands are goin' straight up right now!

TV Show: Batman
Miss Kitka: When I close my eyes, I imagine a world at peace.
Bruce: That's strange... when I close my eyes, I imagine something quite astonishingly different.

TV Show: Batman
Robin: A giant cake of foam rubber! What are the chances?
Batman: I'd say the odds against it would make even the most reckless gambler cringe!

TV Show: Batman
Batman: He's from Philadelphia.
Dick Clark: How did you know?
Batman: You dipped your diphthong. People from Philidelphia are known for that.

TV Show: Batman
Catwoman: I'm not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!

TV Show: Batman
Jack O'Shea: Let's can the gab-a-thon and throw this rascal out!
Robin: I might've known you were involved! A person like you could give a bad name to gossip columnists!

TV Show: Batman
Ramjet[to Batman and Robin, who are in Puzzler's hot-air balloon trap]: Hey, you guys want some gum?
Puzzler: Really, Ramjet!
Ramjet: That's what they give you in the airlines before you take off.

TV Show: Batman
Sandman: It's naptime for both of you!

TV Show: Batman
The Mad Hatter: This phase of my career will never be over, until I have The Caped Crusader's cowl safely in my custody!

TV Show: Batman
Venus: What's inside, Joker? $2000 is a lot of money!
Joker: Ah, this merchandise is worth $2000!
Penguin: It's worth $200,000, you cheapskate! At least you could have sent me a plane ticket!

TV Show: Batman
Batman: They're going to flood the Gotham City Reservoir.
Penguin: We're going to flood the Gotham City Reservoir.

TV Show: Batman
Down: [after successfully robbing a flooded band and escaping the dynamic duo] Worked like a charm, Riddler!
Riddler: Why not? There's a difference between a batman and a frogman!! One quick stop and then lets go dry our money!!!

TV Show: Batman
Batman: Only The Riddler and his ilk would have such a flagrant disregard for private property! This door will have to be repaired.

TV Show: Batman
Batman: I always imagined it would end differently, but yet less ignominiously. To drown in my own anniversary cake!

TV Show: Batman
Riddler: How can you LAMEBRAINS play CARDS at a time like this?!!!

TV Show: Batman
Catwoman: I could give you more happiness than anyone in the world.
Batman: How do you propose to do that?
Catwoman: By being your partner in life, I mean it's me and you against the world.
Batman: What about Robin?
Catwoman: Hmmm. . . I know. We'll kill him.

TV Show: Batman
Robin: [After Catwoman has just tried, unsuccessfully, to lure Batman with her feminine charms] Good job. That love stuff doesn't work on me - I'm way too young for that sort of thing!

TV Show: Batman
Kato: Kung fu is kung fu- it's not child's play.

TV Show: Batman
Britt Reid: [aka the Green Hornet, referring to Batman] I wouldn't be caught dead in that crazy cowl of his.

TV Show: Batman
Kato: I'm glad those guys are on our side even though they don't know it.

TV Show: Batman
King Tut: If the Caped Crumb is here, the cowled creep can't be far behind.

TV Show: Batman
[After being knocked out during the fight, King Tut wakes up, again having reverted to his original persona of Professor McElroy]
King Tut: Did I do it again?

TV Show: Batman
Lisa: Would you like to come in for a glass of milk and cookies?
Bruce: I'm afraid it's rather late. Why, it's 10: 30!

TV Show: Batman