Batman Quotes

Batman: [to Black Widow] I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?

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Robin: [After the Black Widow has hypnotized Batman] Batman, I need you to sing a song! That way I can free you from the Black Widow's evil thrall!
Batman: Very well, Robin. I think a little Gilbert & Sullivan... [Picks up flower] I'm called Little... Buttercup... Poor Little... Buttercup... Though I could... never tell... why...

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Commissioner Gordon: [to ChiefO'Hara] I'll call Batman on the red phone, you get Mr. Wayne on the other.

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Penguin: I don't know whether to call him "daddy" or just Commissioner.
[Batman and Robin arrive]
Batman: If I were you, Penguin, I'd call help right now!
Robin: When we get through with you, Penguin, you'll be hollering "uncle" instead of "daddy"!

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Bruce Wayne: [As Dick prepares to take his first drive after obtaining his license] Remember, this is not the Batmobile.

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Batgirl: What's up your sleeve this time?
Riddler: Up my sleeve, Batgirl? Riddle me once: what's most alluring when it's highest or lowest; when it's in the air or in a hole; when it's served you, yet you can't touch it? An enchanting ace!

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Joker: Get Penguin's clothes for him! Hurry!
Penguin: Get my clothes for me? I've got them on!
Joker: Oh, so you do! For a minute, I thought those were prison issue!
Penguin: Prison issue?! This sartorial triumph, a prison issue?!
Joker: Well, sometime I'll give you the name of my tailor!
Penguin: Sometime I'll give you a piece of my mind! Like right now!!

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Batman: Catwoman, I find you to be odious, abhorrent and insegrevious.
Catwoman: A dealing with you is expanding my vocabulary... erm... a whole lot.

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Catwoman: Robin, get the money.
Batman: [entering from behind a curtain] Don't do it Robin! She's got you under the influence of some sort of drug, Robin.
Robin: Who's the character in the ridiculous costume?
Catwoman: [laughs] That's Batman.
Batman: You don't recognize me, Robin? What a dastardly turn of events this is.

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Catwoman: Robin?
Robin: Yeah?
Catwoman: Slay the blue dragon.
Robin: Groovy.
Batman: Oh, no.
Robin: Oh, yes.

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Batman: Chief O'Hara, may I have the keys to your patrol car?
Chief O'Hara: ...are you insured?
Commissioner Gordon: Give him the keys, O'Hara!
Chief O'Hara: Yes, sir.

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Moth: Oh, Batman. Moth has learned her lesson, really she has. Crime doesn't pay!
Batman: Unfortunately you've learned your lesson too late, Moth. A moth who flies around candles is liable to get burned.

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Bruce: Most Americans don't realize what we owe to the ancient Incas. Very few appreciate they gave us the white potato and many varieties of Indian corn.
Dick: Now whenever I eat mashed potatoes, I for one will think of the Incas.

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[Batman and Robin are on a golf course in the Batmobile.]
Robin: Let's get going and make an emergency bat-turn!
Batman: Not this time, old chum. Have to think of the golfers. The retro-rockets would burn up the course for a hundred yards.

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King Tut: [to Nefertiti] How many times must I tell you?! Queens consume nectar and ambrosia, not hot dogs!

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Dick [after seeing Commissioner Gordon apparently shot to death on TV]: Holy homicide! Tell me I'm having a nightmare!
Bruce: Steady, Dick. It happened all right.
Dick: Commissioner Gordon - killed!
Bruce: This is one time we don't wait for the Batphone!

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Robin: [about Lydia Limpet] Gosh, Batman, those look like honest eyes.
Batman: Never trust the old chestnut, "Crooks have beady little eyes". It's false.

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Batman: Don't interrupt! I'm trying to fathom the sub-conscience of a deadly criminal!

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Robin: Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth!
Batman: True. You owe your life to dental hygiene.

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Commissioner Gordon: I don't know who he is beneath that mask of his, but I know when we need him, and we need him now!

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Robin: Gosh, if I could just figure out that riddle. Why can't I get it?
Batman: Maybe your mind's on that cute little teenager who waved to you on the way across town, eh?
Robin: Awww, come on, Batman.

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Riddler: Did you hear about Greta Garbo? She dreamed one night she sprinkled 6 boxes of grass seed in her hair, and woke up moaning: "I vant to be a lawn!"

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Batman: The joke's on you, Riddler!
Robin: When is a donkey spelled with 1 letter?! When it's "U"!

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Bruce: "Language is the key to world peace. If we all spoke each others tongues perhaps the scourge of war would be ended forever."

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The Joker: [laughing] And now people of Gotham City, the moment you have all been waiting for. [Continuously Laughing] The grand finale!; The climax of my performance! The zenith of my career! The unmasking of Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder!

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Joker: As the Clown Prince of Crime I decline.

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Batman: Mr. Freeze, give yourself up. We can get help for you... medical help!
Mr. Freeze: In prison? This I do not believe. No, you must PAY for what you did to me, for forcing me to live like this: never again to know the warmth of a summer breeze, never to feel the heat of burning logs in vintertime! Revenge. That is what I need! Revenge! I will have revenge!

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Batman: Poor devil...forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to 50 degrees below zero! No wonder his mind is warped.

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Robin: (to Zelda The Great)We've got you bank bandit!
[She disappears using a mirror trick.]
Robin: Holy Hole in a Doughnut. What happened?

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Mousey: Gee, I've never met royalty before! It's pretty thrilling!
Riddler: Royalty? You've never met royalty? And just whom do you think stands before you, my cherub? I am The Prince Of Puzzlers, The Count Of Conundrums, The King Of Crime! I hold court here, no one else!!!

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