3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
Sally: I'll give you your promotion if you don't say the word "really" in the next sixty seconds.
Harry: Really?
Sally You lose!
Harry: Really?
Sally You lose!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: So, no matter how obnoxious you are, how much of a burden you become, you can still count on the forgiveness of your family?
Mary: Yeah.
Dick: Even if they touch your radio and refuse to make smoked chub and disobey your orders not to kill?
Mary: Yeah... even then.
Dick: That is so beautiful!
Mary: Yeah.
Dick: Even if they touch your radio and refuse to make smoked chub and disobey your orders not to kill?
Mary: Yeah... even then.
Dick: That is so beautiful!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[opera plays on the car radio]
Harry: Dick, remember how I said I wanted to learn to sing? I've changed my mind.
Harry: Dick, remember how I said I wanted to learn to sing? I've changed my mind.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Nina: I knew you had a thing for her.
Dick: Yes, but I understand I'm not allowed to show it to her without her permission.
Dick: Yes, but I understand I'm not allowed to show it to her without her permission.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Sally: Wait a minute, something about this doesn't wash. She's doing something (gasps) Now I remember! I read about this. She's distorting the truth!
Dick: Dr. Albright would never lie to me.
Sally: Oh wake up and snort the coffee. (pause) Just because you don't lie doesn't mean people here don't.
Dick: We're colleagues! I trust her! I command you to be like her!
Sally: Like what?
Dick: Like a woman.
Sally: Fine! I can woman.
Dick: Dr. Albright would never lie to me.
Sally: Oh wake up and snort the coffee. (pause) Just because you don't lie doesn't mean people here don't.
Dick: We're colleagues! I trust her! I command you to be like her!
Sally: Like what?
Dick: Like a woman.
Sally: Fine! I can woman.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tommy: Commander, permission to speak freely.
Dick: Granted.
Tommy: As the oldest member of this crew, I feel it's my duty to inform you all that this planet both wipes and sucks. In that order.
Dick: Granted.
Tommy: As the oldest member of this crew, I feel it's my duty to inform you all that this planet both wipes and sucks. In that order.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mrs. Dubcek: Poor kid. I remember what it's like to be your age.
Tommy: I remember what it's like to be yours.
Tommy: I remember what it's like to be yours.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Gansmiller: [about Harry] Damn! No past, no experience, no record... the perfect candidate.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Ah, yes, the "big game." God forbid your intellectual development should get in the way of the "big game." The fate of humanity rests on the outcome of the "big game."
Bug: Is he being sarcastic?
Bug: Is he being sarcastic?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]
Harry: Here's a job I could do; "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march over to the police station and tell them that I'm the man they're looking for!
Harry: Here's a job I could do; "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march over to the police station and tell them that I'm the man they're looking for!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: [talking about art] What makes them strive to create this?
Tommy: Naked women.
Dick: These are not naked women, they're nudes. Nudity is the artist's passionate celebration of the human form.
Tommy: [taking an art book] Well, party on!
Tommy: Naked women.
Dick: These are not naked women, they're nudes. Nudity is the artist's passionate celebration of the human form.
Tommy: [taking an art book] Well, party on!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry explains how he's reorganized the movies at Gung-Ho Videos]
Harry: [refers to one rack] Good movies. [refers to another rack] Bad movies. [refers to the rest of the room] Movies I haven't seen.
Harry: [refers to one rack] Good movies. [refers to another rack] Bad movies. [refers to the rest of the room] Movies I haven't seen.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry is working at a video store]
Customer: Excuse me, where can I find Aliens?
Harry: Nowhere! Not here, that's for sure. Nobody here but us humans. [in a nervous sing-song voice] La, la, la... la, la, la. [a beat] Stop looking at me!
Customer: Excuse me, where can I find Aliens?
Harry: Nowhere! Not here, that's for sure. Nobody here but us humans. [in a nervous sing-song voice] La, la, la... la, la, la. [a beat] Stop looking at me!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Patty Muller: I don't envy you having to take care of three men; I only got Frank and he's a full-time job. Just once, I'd like to see that man pick up a sock.
Sally: I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink.
Patty Muller: I'd like to see them do laundry.
Sally: [deadpan] I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels and ground into a fine paste.
Patty Muller: [after a beat] You know, I'd like to see that myself.
Sally: You let me know.
Sally: I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink.
Patty Muller: I'd like to see them do laundry.
Sally: [deadpan] I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels and ground into a fine paste.
Patty Muller: [after a beat] You know, I'd like to see that myself.
Sally: You let me know.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Frank and Dick have had a fight]
Dick: Why are you suddenly so civil?
Frank Muller: Now we know each other's boundaries. You know my limits, I know your limits, so now we can respect each other.
Tommy: Wait, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to gain each other's respect, you had to resort to violent confrontations. Now doesn't that strike you as stupid?
Frank Muller: [after a beat] Kids, huh?
Dick: They don't understand the world.
Dick: Why are you suddenly so civil?
Frank Muller: Now we know each other's boundaries. You know my limits, I know your limits, so now we can respect each other.
Tommy: Wait, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to gain each other's respect, you had to resort to violent confrontations. Now doesn't that strike you as stupid?
Frank Muller: [after a beat] Kids, huh?
Dick: They don't understand the world.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mary: They opened a Hard Rock Café in Vietnam. The world's changed, huh?
Dick: It certainly has. Did you know it used to be entirely covered with ice?
Dick: It certainly has. Did you know it used to be entirely covered with ice?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Reminiscing about the 60's]
Mary: Did you ever drop acid?
Dick: [misunderstanding] Oh, constantly.
Mary: You did a lot of tripping?
Dick: That's how I dropped the acid.
Mary: Did you ever drop acid?
Dick: [misunderstanding] Oh, constantly.
Mary: You did a lot of tripping?
Dick: That's how I dropped the acid.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tommy: Sally, I got a question for you. We've been on the planet a while now and I've just been wondering if we were to tell someone we cared about where we were actually from, do you think it'd be so dangerous?
Sally: No, not at all, Tommy. In fact I've already told Mrs. Dubcek and the mailman, uh, and a nice guy down at the mini-mall, BECAUSE I WANT US ALL TO DIE LIKE LAB RATS AT THE HANDS OF PRIMITIVE SCIENTISTS!!!
Sally: No, not at all, Tommy. In fact I've already told Mrs. Dubcek and the mailman, uh, and a nice guy down at the mini-mall, BECAUSE I WANT US ALL TO DIE LIKE LAB RATS AT THE HANDS OF PRIMITIVE SCIENTISTS!!!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: I want to make the world a better place. I want to give mankind the gift... of electricity.
Tommy: They have electricity.
Harry: Ah, then my work is done!
Tommy: They have electricity.
Harry: Ah, then my work is done!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mr Randell: Well, uh, the truth is that, uh, I think Tommy could do a lot better.
Dick: Be careful sir. You're talking about the creature I've come to think of as my son.
Dick: Be careful sir. You're talking about the creature I've come to think of as my son.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[about Tommy's teacher, Mr Randell]
Sally: He's giving off this vibe? Can't you feel it?
Dick: Yes I think I do. Does it feel like a stabbing pain in your left buttock?
Sally: Uh, no.
[Dick reaches under his chair]
Dick: Then I appear to be sitting on a tack.
[Holds up a tack]
Sally: He's giving off this vibe? Can't you feel it?
Dick: Yes I think I do. Does it feel like a stabbing pain in your left buttock?
Sally: Uh, no.
[Dick reaches under his chair]
Dick: Then I appear to be sitting on a tack.
[Holds up a tack]
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tommy: I've got to be in a regular school; one with metal detectors and pregnant cheerleaders.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: What kind of a place is this where you can't wave handfuls of money around in the middle of the night?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Okay, let's get this straight; I don't care how much it costs, I don't care how difficult it is to accomplish, I want a security system that will guarantee every moment of our lives will be filled with a sense of absolute safety and contentment.
Salesman: That would be the ElectroFort 2000. The alarm connects directly to our command center downtown, where we immediately dispatch trained patrol men to your door.
Sally: I see. I just have one question.
Salesman: Sure.
Sally: Where do I bury my family after the burglars have pumped bullets into their skulls while your guys are strolling over?
Salesman: That would be the ElectroFort 2000. The alarm connects directly to our command center downtown, where we immediately dispatch trained patrol men to your door.
Sally: I see. I just have one question.
Salesman: Sure.
Sally: Where do I bury my family after the burglars have pumped bullets into their skulls while your guys are strolling over?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: You've got a thing in your head.
Harry: A thing?
Dick: Cranial micro receiver chip.
Harry: In my head.
Dick: But it's not in the part you use; it's in your brain.
Harry: A thing?
Dick: Cranial micro receiver chip.
Harry: In my head.
Dick: But it's not in the part you use; it's in your brain.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Tomorrow there will be a pop quiz on the effects of thermodynamics. Remember it's a pop quiz; if you study, I'll know!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: What matters most is life itself. And the greatest thing about life is not having a purpose; it's about finding a purpose.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Sally: I've seen stuff that would make your eyes burst out of your sockets and splatter against the wall... in fact, I've seen that, too.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: A terrible injustice has been done.
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said a great injustice has been done!
Professor Suter: [annoyed] I heard you. What's the big injustice?
Dick: Someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you.
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you!
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said a great injustice has been done!
Professor Suter: [annoyed] I heard you. What's the big injustice?
Dick: Someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you.
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun