3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes


Dick Solomon: What does the crowd look like out there?
Sally Solomon: Why don't you open up the curtain and look?
Dick Solomon: Oh, nice breath. What did you have for lunch, garlic?
Sally Solomon: Well naturally you didn't eat lunch at all so you can chew on the scenery.
Dick Solomon: Great mastery of theater terms. Did you learn taht you in your book called "How to Perform on Stage?" because maybe you should start with the chapter called "How to Perform on Stage".
Sally Solomon: Yeah? Well maybe you shouldn't do card tricks that reflect off of your big, bald head!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick Solomon: Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick Solomon: Who needs Christmas anyway? I say "Bug Humbar".

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick Solomon: You want the truth? You want the truth? Well, I can't handle the truth!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Evil Dick: Do I make myself clear Tommy?
Harry Solomon: Oh no, I'm Harry.
Evil Dick: No, from now on you will be referred to as Tommy.
Tommy Solomon: Hey, what about me?
Evil Dick: You will be Tommy too.
Tommy Solomon: Wait, so Tommy as in the number 2 or as what...?
Evil Dick: You will all be known as Tommy!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Mary Albright: Are these magic brownies?
Dick Solomon: Pepperidge Farm.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Mary Albright: Have a little compassion, Sally, we're healthy. We have to help him.
Sally Solomon: I say he's lame. Shoot him.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Mary Albright: Haven't you come to your senses yet?
Dick Solomon: I will never come to my senses!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Mary Albright: I think you look distinguished with gray hair.
Dick Solomon: Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair, too.
Mary Albright: No. When men get gray hair, they look distinguished. When women get gray hair, they look old.
Dick Solomon: When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.
Mary Albright: Good point!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Mary Albright: Just be glad you're at the top of the food chain and nothing eats you.
Dick Solomon: What about the shark in Jaws. He's so scary.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Mary Albright: So are you glad we tried something new?
Dick Solomon: Not really, it made me cold... and shrivelly.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: [about her breasts] Hmm, they seem to have greater power when they collide.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: Don't listen to him, he's just a kid.
Salesman: Oh, don't worry. I used to be a kid myself... a long time ago. [laughs]
Salesman: Say there, sport, you like girls?
Tommy Solomon: Yeah. Sorry.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: Hey, buy us a couple of beers?
Man: Sure. [Hands Sally and Nina two beers]
Man: So, you girls going to the big game?
Sally Solomon: We don't want to talk to you. We're just broke. [Takes beers and leaves]

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: How nice, it's the gift that keeps on sucking.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: Isn't there a place where people can have mindless sex with different partners?
Mary Albright: Yeah! It's called "the 70s."

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: Oh, how exciting. I am SO glad I get to be the woman. Next planet I get to be something BIG... WITH HORNS!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: So the meatloaf is essentially ground beef and bread crumbs?
Tommy Solomon: Right.
Sally Solomon: And ground beef is essentially nothing more than dead cow?
Tommy Solomon: Right.
Sally Solomon: So I have dead cow on my hands? Ahhhhhhhhh! [runs off]
Tommy Solomon: Women.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: This is the bake sale committee, right?
Mrs. Hartzinger: Yes, I don't believe I've seen you before.
Sally Solomon: I don't believe you're blonde.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: What happened, Harry?
Harry Solomon: It came out!
Dick Solomon: Is it an alien?
Harry Solomon: Well, it's purple, and it's slimy, and it's got a hose.
Sally Solomon: A hose?
Tommy Solomon: Oh, great. It's a mutant.
Dick Solomon: Alright, we'll kidnap him, and hide him, when it's a teenager we'll set him free, and then if it's really messed up, we can blame him on television. [Marry Albright arrives]
Mary Albright: They just brought him to the nursery. He is positively glowing.
Harry Solomon: Now it's glowing.
Mary Albright: Let's go see him. He's got Vicky's eyes.
Harry Solomon: What's he doing with Vicky's eyes?
Sally Solomon: I just hope it's not eating them.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: You just can't imagine what it feels like, Dick. It's like he reached in... and pulled all the bones out of my body... [Sally starts crying]
Dick Solomon: My god, what are you doing?
Sally Solomon: [Wipes her tears] Apparently I'm leaking!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Sally Solomon: YOU! [Points at man by bar]
Sally Solomon: Your sexual organs are in total diometric opposition to mine!
Man: Well... hey! So, can I give you a call sometime?

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

August: Your son is impossible.
Dick Solomon: And you're a pain in the ass, you're made for each other.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Patty Muller: I don't envy you at having to take care of three men. I only got Frank and he's a full-time job. Just once, I'd like to see that man pick up a sock.
Sally Solomon: I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink.
Patty Muller: I'd like to see them do laundry.
Sally Solomon: I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels and ground into a fine paste.
Patty Muller: You know, I'd like to see that myself.
Sally Solomon: You let me know.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy Solomon: [pointing to the sky] I've been there. I've been there. And there. And there.
Harry Solomon: The long, boring stories you must have!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy Solomon: [Tommy and Harry are moving Sally's belongings out of the house] [Tommy carries a large box with difficulty]
Tommy Solomon: Oh, Harry, you've got to help me with this box, it's filled with rocks and books and stuff.
Harry Solomon: Step aside. [Harry grips the box and gets ready to push it up, as he does, the box flies over his head]
Tommy Solomon: [giggling] ... It was empty... [Tommy leaves]
Harry Solomon: No. [grabs the box and starts to leave]
Harry Solomon: I'm the strongest man in the world!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy Solomon: Actually, Sally, uh, Halloween is revered as the day when the graves yawn and the dead rise.
Harry Solomon: Plus you get to stick candy corns up your nose.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy Solomon: Dick! Sally and Harry wont buy me a beer.
Dick Solomon: Sally, Harry, don't be so cheap!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy Solomon: Harry, I need you to drive me somewhere.
Harry Solomon: Nope.
Tommy Solomon: You know I outrank you.
Harry Solomon: Then, "No, sir!"

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy Solomon: Holy cow, we weren't just dating leggy babes...
Harry Solomon: We were dating leggy babes from beyond!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun