3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes

Harry: Sally, I'm starving. What's for dinner?
Sally: Oh, I made you some hamburgers--they're down at the hamburger place. All you have to do is go there, order them, and pay for them.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: We can make little differences; we just can't make global differences.
Harry: Can we blow up the Earth?
Dick: You see, that's a global difference.
Harry: It's so hard to keep track of all this.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Why do these people get to have their life stories in the paper? What makes them so special?
Nina: Those are the obituaries.
Dick: Well, I want one about me!
Nina: Hopefully soon.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Larry: I've never noticed it before, but you look capable of violence.
Dick: [picking up a chair] I'll show you who's capable of violence!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick is fantasizing about Nina during his class's exam]
Leon: [sees Dick kissing an imaginary person] Dr. Solomon, what are you doing?
Dick: ...I said no talking, Leon. You fail!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[after Mary receives an exercise video as a present from Dick]
Mary: Here's a little "gift-giving" tip: When you give someone a bouquet of flowers, that tells them "Our love goes on forever." When you give somebody an exercise video that tells them "Your ass goes on forever!"

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now Senior Security Officer.
Sally: That'll look good on the ol' résumé!
Dick: Tommy, you are now Senior Information Officer.
Tommy: It's about time!
[pause]
Harry: What about me?
Dick: Harry, you are now... Harold.
Harry: Champagne for everyone!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mary: [referring to Dick] I wouldn't be caught dead going out with that scab.
Dick: Well, couldn't you put a band-aid over it?

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick has entered the office wearing a tight-fitting construction worker's outfit and a tool belt]
Dick: Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?
Nina: Not from your funky bakery. [winks]

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Vicki Dubcek: [about Harry's new girlfriend Janice] You don't like her as much as me, do you?
Harry: Oh, no!... More.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Are you going to kill me?
Big Giant Head: Of course not; you're my designated driver.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Vicki Dubcek: How dare you use your flesh to trick me!
Harry: Well, that's what it's there for.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry finds out Vicki and Janice know each other]
Harry: You two know each other?
Janice: Yeah, I met Vicky at the mall today.
Harry: Oh, what a small world! You know, I wonder who else I know knows someone I know that I don't know knows that person I know.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Strudwick: My daughter just ran off with your ragamuffin son!
Dick: "Ragamuffin"?! Sally, throw him out; Harry, bring me a dictionary.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tommy: [about a movie Harry has seen] How was it? I heard there was an awesome shower scene.
Harry: Oh, yeah...but then this naked girl got in and you could barely see the shower.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tourist: Excuse me, we've been driving around for hours. Do you know of any hotels that have rooms?
Harry: I believe that all hotels have rooms.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mary: [concerned] I think there's something wrong with Dick.
[Nina and Judith stare blankly at her]

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[after drinking household chemicals]
Harry Solomon: Um, I've lost all feeling in the left side of my body. [Looks at upside-down can]
Harry Solomon: Could somebody please call "116"?

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[after finding out his father was "the Big Head"]
Dick Solomon: I don't know who I am anymore!
Harry Solomon: Well, your first name is Dick, and your last name is Head...

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[around Super Bowl season]
Harry Solomon: Tell me what you've done to Sally. Where are you taking her?
Mascha: I can't. I wish I could.
Harry Solomon: Can't you give me a hint?
Mascha: All right... We're going to do something on the weekend... in San Diego.
Harry Solomon: Why can't you give me hint?
Mascha: We're going to do something on Sunday... in San Diego.
Harry Solomon: Just one clue?
Mascha: We're going to something on SUNDAY... in SAN DIEGO... at a STADIUM.
Harry Solomon: Just one tiny clue?
Mascha: The Super Bowl, Harry!
Harry Solomon: WORK WITH ME, BABY! WHICH SUPER BOWL?

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[at career day]
Officer Don: Sorry I'm late, kids, but I was just involved in one of the world's scariest police chases.
Kid: How did it end?
Officer Don: The guy got away. [dejected groans]
Officer Don: but, I rolled my car! [cheers]

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate]
Partygoer: Ahoy, matey. Where are your buccaneers?
Dick Solomon: Under my buckin' hat.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick has entered the office wearing a tight-fitting construction worker's outfit and a tool belt]
Dick Solomon: Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?
Nina Campbell: Not from your funky bakery. [winks]

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick is locked in an invisible box and feels the walls]
Dick Solomon: Oh no! He's turned me into a mime!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick is whining about is job]
Harry Solomon: You know, Dick, when life gives you lemon, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]
Mamie Dubcek: Oh, Harry. You're an alien. [Harry screams]
Harry Solomon: NO, I'M NOT! I mean, yes I am.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]
Harry Solomon: Here's a job that I can do. "Police are seeking third gunman." Tomorrow, I'm gonna march over to the police station and show them that I'm the man they're looking for.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Looking at the babies at the nursery]
Tommy Solomon: Which one is it?
Dick Solomon: It must be him - it's hideous.
Man: Hey, that's my daughter.
Dick Solomon: I'm so sorry. SHE'S hideous.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Mary and Dick are in a restaurant]
Dick Solomon: Mary, the waiter made a mistake. You ordered Surf and Turf. They brought you steak and lobster.
Mary Albright: Dick, that's what surf and turf is.
Dick Solomon: Oh... I thought it was water and grass.

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[repeated line]
Dick Solomon: I'm gorgeous!

TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun