Will and Grace Quotes

Karen: Honey, you say potato, I say vodka.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: You don't get to have ideas. This show is called "That Old Jack Magic," not "That Old Assistant's Magic."
Karen: Oh! Old? Well, how do you know that? There are parts of me that were just a twinkle in a scientist's eye three weeks ago. Besides, I was just trying to help.
Jack: You wanna help? Then remember your place. You're the assistant... and let's not forget where that word comes from — Latin, meaning "ass of an ant." So keep your ideas to yourself and assist. It shouldn't be that hard. It's what you do. Get it? [ leaves the room]
Karen: I'm gonna be so mad when my mood elevators wear off.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: You know what else is incredibly sad? Poor people with big dreams. Actually, that's not so much sad as it is incredibly funny.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: I wanna travel the world. Anywhere. Everywhere. You know, as long as it's clean and they speak English and it's safe.
Will: You've just narrowed your world travel plans down to Denver.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Please tell me that you didn't drink your lunch yet.
Karen: Honey, I just got done drinking breakfast. You gotta give the liver a little time to digest!

TV Show: Will and Grace
Cher: You know, don't talk to me about rejection, okay? I mean, look how many times I've gone down in flames. Remember, I lost the Oscar for Moonstruck.
Jack: But you won the Oscar for Moonstruck!
Cher: And don't you forget it.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: [laughs] Kids are dumb.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Oh. Hi, honey. Listen, you gotta talk to that shower head. He got a little fresh. I had to put him in his place. Well... [whispers] my place.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Which lever do I pull to be crushed by a safe?

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: [knocks on the washing machine door glass] Where are the fish?
Jack: No, Karen. It is a laundromat. People come here to clean their clothes. Then they reuse them.
Karen: Why, poor people are just plain clever. I wonder, why they can't figure out a way to make more money?

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Gosh, Grace, it was so sweet of you to cook Will and Karen dinner.
Grace: Well, you know, I just figured after a long day at the divorce hearing, it would be nice to come back to a home-cooked meal.
Jack: You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.
Grace: Thanks Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there, too.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Lorraine Finster: [whispering] Pssst. I'd like you to have all your things out by tomorrow morning, all right?
Karen: [whispering] Oh, okay. Oh, pssst. I'd like you to eat me.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: ...but when we get to Saint Bart's I swear I'm taking an EPT, and if it's blue I am not going through this alone!... again![1]

TV Show: Will and Grace
[Diane, who has slept with both Will and Leo, says that will was better in bed]
Leo: What do you mean, Will was better? He couldn't find a g-spot with Yahoo! Maps.
Karen and Jack: YAHOOOO!

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: I like you. Wanna make out?
Diane: I like you too, lets see where the evening goes...

TV Show: Will and Grace
Leo: So, you and Will...
Diane: Yep, me and Will...
Leo: And, uh, me and you...
Diane: Yep, me and you...and maybe later me and Karen!

TV Show: Will and Grace
[After a gay spelling bee.]
Jack: The other guy couldn't get "erect"... I, however, could.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Got anything written on your freakishly tinier boob?
Karen: It's only smaller when its scared.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Hey, Wilma, I need your help! Remember Loraine Finster, the dame who stole my husband and tried to bump me off? Well, I think I found her, a private dick said he dug up an "L. Finster" at the Hotel Kickerbocker. Come on, let's go down there and give her what-for!
Will: As much as I'd love to put on a trenchcoat and look for your grip on reality, I can't. I've got to take care of Mom.
Karen: Oh, how sweet, a gay man living with his mother..would you like me to pre-heat the oven or do you want to just jump right in?

TV Show: Will and Grace
Maralyn: Oh, hello, Karen. You know, I took your advice about overcoming pain with visualisation, I'm going to throw these painkillers away.
Karen: Oh, I'll throw them away for you, yep, right in the ol' trashcan. (tossing the pills down her her throat)

TV Show: Will and Grace
[Grace ducks under the table to pick up the bowl of noodles she dropped.]
Karen: Grace, please! A girl'll do anythin' to get a peek at my pie!

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Hey, I just got your message. You needed to see my ass and pee?
Will: I needed to see you A.S.A.P.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: You know, the old Grace would have done this[smacks her hand onto Jack's forehead.] But now, I just have this new serenity thanks to Mr. Kabbalah.
Will: He's not a person! He's not like Mr. Peanut.
Jack: Uh, Mr. Peanut is not a person, Will.
Karen: He's a legume.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: How do I put this delicately?... You are a raging 'mo yourself!

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: My catchphrase is: "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case." You figure it out.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: The only complaint you have is that the American Kennel Club hasn't recognized you as a breed yet!

TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: [singing] Hush, little gay boy, don't you cry...

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Hey, what's in the bag, fag?
Will: Oh. Muffins from James. Do you think it's weird that he got them by cutting in line and then lying about needing them for his dying mother?
Karen: No, not at all, honey. I mean, that's the same way we used to get bread and juice during the Great Depre— Eighties.

TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Will, you're not the President. Get out of my uterus!

TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Wow, this baby name book is really great. Ooh, here's a pretty one: Clitorissa.
Will: That's Clarissa!
Jack: Oh, well, that's just gross.

TV Show: Will and Grace