Will and Grace Quotes
[Will has just confessed to Grace that he's gay]
Will: Look, if I can't have sex with you, I couldn't have sex with any woman! It's a compliment to you!
Grace: That's not a compliment! A compliment is "You're sexy, you turn me on," not "One look at you proves I'm a queer"!
Will: Look, if I can't have sex with you, I couldn't have sex with any woman! It's a compliment to you!
Grace: That's not a compliment! A compliment is "You're sexy, you turn me on," not "One look at you proves I'm a queer"!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Hey friends, lovers, mothers and other strangers! You are never going to believe what happened to me. [trips] Oh, my God, did you see that? I almost did a half-nelson. I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigatos, mister tomatoes. Huge news! I have met — are you ready for this? Mister Right. Well, Mister Right Now anyway, ba-dum-dum. Goodnight folks, I’m here all week! Jack 2000! He works over at the Jumpin’ Java. You know, that coffee shop over on 72nd, and his name is Paul, and he is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets; and the hotter he gets, the sweatier he gets; and the sweatier he gets... I forgot where I am going with this, but the point is, me likey he and he likey me, and the best part is — shazam! He gives me free ice coffee every time I go in, which is every hour on the hour and, thank you very much, and occasionally on the half hour. Ba-da-da-da-da-da! [blows raspberry]
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Don't worry, Jackie, I'll kick coffee too! I'll just have to get used to drinking my Bailey's straight. It'll still be the best part of waking up!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Oh, my God. I know this apartment. You'll never guess whose it is. You're gonna die.
Will: We're all gonna die, Grace. The important thing is what you do while you're here.
Will: We're all gonna die, Grace. The important thing is what you do while you're here.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Cheryl: Mrs. Walker? Cheryl Bricker-Fossberg, Taylor and Hayden's mom.
Karen: I have no idea what you just said.
Cheryl: I just want you to know I think you're awful. Your son Mason swam his heart out today, and all he wanted to do was share that joy with his family. But when he looked up in the bleachers for a familiar face, nothing. Not even a housekeeper. I find that appalling.
Karen: Oh, yeah? Well, I find stretch pants appalling, but I'm too much of a lady to mention it, fat ass.
Karen: I have no idea what you just said.
Cheryl: I just want you to know I think you're awful. Your son Mason swam his heart out today, and all he wanted to do was share that joy with his family. But when he looked up in the bleachers for a familiar face, nothing. Not even a housekeeper. I find that appalling.
Karen: Oh, yeah? Well, I find stretch pants appalling, but I'm too much of a lady to mention it, fat ass.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: You said that money was no object.
Karen: Honey, that's just a saying, like, "Ooh, that sounds like fun," or "I love you."
Karen: Honey, that's just a saying, like, "Ooh, that sounds like fun," or "I love you."
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: Okay, basketball's not my game.
Matt: Yeah, I kind of suspected that when I suggested a game of Horse and you got down on all fours.
Will: I knew that sounded too good to be true.
Matt: Look, you don't have to pretend to like sports for me.
Will: Yes, I do. It's why you broke up with your last boyfriend, isn't it?
Matt: Do you really think I'm that shallow? I broke up with him because he was poor. I'm kidding! I'm kidding. We were just different. I like foreign movies. He liked foreign men.
Matt: Yeah, I kind of suspected that when I suggested a game of Horse and you got down on all fours.
Will: I knew that sounded too good to be true.
Matt: Look, you don't have to pretend to like sports for me.
Will: Yes, I do. It's why you broke up with your last boyfriend, isn't it?
Matt: Do you really think I'm that shallow? I broke up with him because he was poor. I'm kidding! I'm kidding. We were just different. I like foreign movies. He liked foreign men.
TV Show: Will and Grace
[Grace is trying to start up her Uncle Jerry's old car.]
Grace: Okay, here we go. [tries to start the car, but it just clicks] That's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh, my God. She just asked a fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car!
Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.
Grace: Okay, here we go. [tries to start the car, but it just clicks] That's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh, my God. She just asked a fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car!
Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Sister Louise: My family dropped me off at a convent when I was three. Yeah, they told me that I was going to the zoo. I was so excited. They dressed me up, gave me a lollipop. All I wanted to do was see the penguins. Ironic, isn't it?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: You wouldn't happen to have a breath mint, would you?
Lady: Why, yes, I do. It's in my purse.
Karen: Well, pop it! It's not doing you any good in there!
Lady: How offensive!
Karen: Honey, it's your breath, not mine.
Lady: Why, yes, I do. It's in my purse.
Karen: Well, pop it! It's not doing you any good in there!
Lady: How offensive!
Karen: Honey, it's your breath, not mine.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Honey, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Sumner, hi. If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end with... "day."
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Karen: He's my nephew, and I love him like a son of a bitch! And I mean that literally. Stan's sister's a bitch.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: Hide the crucifixes. Beelzebooze is here.
Karen: Ha ha. Oh, honey. I got a fake laugh with your name all over it.
Karen: Ha ha. Oh, honey. I got a fake laugh with your name all over it.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Val: I'm wearing your dirty bathwater in a vial around my neck.
Jack: Okay. Time to go psycho!
Jack: Okay. Time to go psycho!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: He's using my new Chantal sauté pan with a metal-edged spatula. There is no way a crêpe is ever going to slide off that again.
Grace: Wow, you are more gay before 9 a.m. than most people are all day.
Grace: Wow, you are more gay before 9 a.m. than most people are all day.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: I've got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: You and I, we have to stay focused. You know how sharks are eating machines? We are shopping machines. That means all we do is shop and poop. Shop and poop. Got it? So, what are we going to do now?
Nathan: God, I hope it's shop.
Nathan: God, I hope it's shop.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: [Points at Karen's pin] I see they're finally giving out medals for evil.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Nathan: Ahh, there's nothing like hoppin' on your hog first thing in the morning and riding it 'til your butt gets tired.
Jack: You're preaching to the choir, okay?
Jack: You're preaching to the choir, okay?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: Let me try to explain this in terms you'll understand. I'm tequila. [Will picks up small bottles on Karen's desk.]
Karen: Oh, I'm liking this story better already!
Will: These are my friends: gin, vodka, and scotch. [Scottish accent] Hello, Karen!
Karen: Hiya, kids.
Will: Now. You got an emergency. You want a Bloody Mary. You've poured yourself a thimble of tomato juice. Who you gonna call? Me? Tequila?
Karen: What is this crazy talk? I want my vodka!
Will: Exactly. So from now on, you only call tequila when you have a legal problem.
Karen: Okay, I get it now. You're comin' in loud and queer!
Karen: Oh, I'm liking this story better already!
Will: These are my friends: gin, vodka, and scotch. [Scottish accent] Hello, Karen!
Karen: Hiya, kids.
Will: Now. You got an emergency. You want a Bloody Mary. You've poured yourself a thimble of tomato juice. Who you gonna call? Me? Tequila?
Karen: What is this crazy talk? I want my vodka!
Will: Exactly. So from now on, you only call tequila when you have a legal problem.
Karen: Okay, I get it now. You're comin' in loud and queer!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Nancy: One of my moms is gay!
Elliot: Really?
Nancy: Yeah, but she's not a good dancer. She built our house, though.
Elliot: Really?
Nancy: Yeah, but she's not a good dancer. She built our house, though.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Guard: Name, please?
Karen: Karen Walker. I'm Stanley Walker's wife.
Guard: Excuse me?
Karen: [shouts] I'm his bitch! Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I'm Stanley Walker's bitch! And I'm his one and only, just in case you pervs get any ideas during those lonely nights at lockdown—
Guard: Ma'am, I just couldn't hear what you said.
Karen: Oh, I'm Karen Walker. Oh my God, I have that same gun!
Karen: Karen Walker. I'm Stanley Walker's wife.
Guard: Excuse me?
Karen: [shouts] I'm his bitch! Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I'm Stanley Walker's bitch! And I'm his one and only, just in case you pervs get any ideas during those lonely nights at lockdown—
Guard: Ma'am, I just couldn't hear what you said.
Karen: Oh, I'm Karen Walker. Oh my God, I have that same gun!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Karen... I wanna ask you something, but it's really personal, and I'm afraid you're gonna be insensitive.
Karen: Oh, honey. That makes me feel bad. Try me!
Grace: Okay. Do you think it's weird that I've had more partners but less actual sex than Nathan?
Karen: No. No, honey! That just means that people like having sex with Nathan and they don't like having sex with you!
Grace: I can't believe I hesitated to ask you about that.
Karen: Oh, relax, honey. I didn't mean it like that, of course I didn't! Listen to me! I just meant that people don't like having sex with you, okay?
Karen: Oh, honey. That makes me feel bad. Try me!
Grace: Okay. Do you think it's weird that I've had more partners but less actual sex than Nathan?
Karen: No. No, honey! That just means that people like having sex with Nathan and they don't like having sex with you!
Grace: I can't believe I hesitated to ask you about that.
Karen: Oh, relax, honey. I didn't mean it like that, of course I didn't! Listen to me! I just meant that people don't like having sex with you, okay?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Listen, there is nothing wrong with listening to Nathan and Grace have sex. It's a victim-less crime. Like tax evasion or public indecency.
Jack: Yah, or like when a bartender doesn't notice his tip, you can slide it in front of you and leave it as your own.
Karen: Oh great example honey! You are so quick! Like lightning.
Will: That's a terrible example.
Karen: Ohh, I think somebody just mad because somebody didn't think of it first.
Jack: Yah, or like when a bartender doesn't notice his tip, you can slide it in front of you and leave it as your own.
Karen: Oh great example honey! You are so quick! Like lightning.
Will: That's a terrible example.
Karen: Ohh, I think somebody just mad because somebody didn't think of it first.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Oh, before I forget, I just wanted to give you a little extra sparkle. I had to Heimlich it out of Rosario's stomach right before I came over here.
Grace: Oh my God. I'm speechless. I don't know what to say, I'd say something if I weren't so speechless, but I'm speechless so I don't know what to say.
Karen: Oh zip it, it's a loan. Now listen to me. You got 250 on each ear, 500 G's on the wrist, and a cold 7 on the chest. It would take you, your mom and your grandma an entire lifetime of turning tricks at the plaza to get even 1/2 way there. Lose even one and you're dead.
Grace: Oh my God. I'm speechless. I don't know what to say, I'd say something if I weren't so speechless, but I'm speechless so I don't know what to say.
Karen: Oh zip it, it's a loan. Now listen to me. You got 250 on each ear, 500 G's on the wrist, and a cold 7 on the chest. It would take you, your mom and your grandma an entire lifetime of turning tricks at the plaza to get even 1/2 way there. Lose even one and you're dead.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: Thank God she hasn't broken out the slides yet.
Jack: Ohh, thank God is right!
Will: You know about the slides?
Jack: No, I just assumed it had something to do with her womanity, so I thought we'd just skate right past it.
Will: No. Slides of Grace as a kid. Whenever she hits a real low point, she breaks out the slide projector and spends a few days trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
Jack: I'd say it was the day she became a gay man and fell in love with you.
Jack: Ohh, thank God is right!
Will: You know about the slides?
Jack: No, I just assumed it had something to do with her womanity, so I thought we'd just skate right past it.
Will: No. Slides of Grace as a kid. Whenever she hits a real low point, she breaks out the slide projector and spends a few days trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
Jack: I'd say it was the day she became a gay man and fell in love with you.
TV Show: Will and Grace
[Grace is showing slides of herself]
Grace: This is me as a little girl. Look at that big, goofy smile. STUPID IDIOT, OPEN YOUR EYES, NO ONE'S EVER GONNA LOVE YOU!!
Grace: This is me as a little girl. Look at that big, goofy smile. STUPID IDIOT, OPEN YOUR EYES, NO ONE'S EVER GONNA LOVE YOU!!
TV Show: Will and Grace