Will and Grace Quotes
Karen: [On the phone] Rosario. Hi, honey. Listen, I'm running a little late. Yeah, things are muy loco at the oficina. Mmm, listen, I'm gonna need you to feed the kids and read 'em something before bedtime... Well, I don't know, honey. Why don't you read them that book they love? "Green Eggs and I'm Hammered." No, Rosario, now why would I want to speak to them?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: I... love this dog! We totally bonded. We just sat there together in the park. He checked out butts. I checked out butts.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Jada Pinkett.
Will: Mmm.
Grace: Hate her.
Will: Wow, that's kinda harsh. I mean, she's not very...
Grace: Will, you know the rules. Love or hate. No gray area, just like life.
Will: Hate her.
Grace: Good boy.
Will: Mmm.
Grace: Hate her.
Will: Wow, that's kinda harsh. I mean, she's not very...
Grace: Will, you know the rules. Love or hate. No gray area, just like life.
Will: Hate her.
Grace: Good boy.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Honey, did you try Balthazar?
Grace: Karen, Steak & Brew are spitting at me through the phone. How would I get a table there?
Karen: Oh, Grace, I am your assistant. Now, I may not be a whiz at the...[points]
Grace: Computer.
Karen: Or know how to work the...[points]
Grace: Fax.
Karen: But, honey, I do know how to get where I need to be. Now hand me the—
Grace: Phone.
Karen: Well, honey, I would have gotten that one.
Grace: Karen, Steak & Brew are spitting at me through the phone. How would I get a table there?
Karen: Oh, Grace, I am your assistant. Now, I may not be a whiz at the...[points]
Grace: Computer.
Karen: Or know how to work the...[points]
Grace: Fax.
Karen: But, honey, I do know how to get where I need to be. Now hand me the—
Grace: Phone.
Karen: Well, honey, I would have gotten that one.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Gosh, I don't think I've ever been stressed out. I mean, why would I be? I got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze, and I got a killer rack! Good morning!
Grace: Oh, when you smile, you have the cutest little wrinkle right there!
Karen: Where? [runs to mirror]
Grace: Feel that? That's stress.
Grace: Oh, when you smile, you have the cutest little wrinkle right there!
Karen: Where? [runs to mirror]
Grace: Feel that? That's stress.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: [to the maid] At least Mary Poppins did it with a song and a dance — you're like a spoonful of whoopass!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Anyways, I'm collecting data to put on the Internet. The world should know the truth about C-3P0.
Will: Jack, C-3P0 is not gay. He's British.
Will: Jack, C-3P0 is not gay. He's British.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Your cook's name is "Cook"?
Karen: No, Grace, he has a name. I just don't remember it. No wait a minute, it'll come to me, it'll come to me... "Where are my damned eggs... Paul!" Paul. God, Paul is dead. Now who the hell is gonna cook for us?
Karen: No, Grace, he has a name. I just don't remember it. No wait a minute, it'll come to me, it'll come to me... "Where are my damned eggs... Paul!" Paul. God, Paul is dead. Now who the hell is gonna cook for us?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Stan had to take the kids down to Scarsdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute, it'll come to me... "Stan, take the kids to see that bitch... Kathy!"
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: I got a call from my friend at the I.N.S. yesterday, and apparently the marriage between a 30-year-old gay man and a postmenopausal Salvadoran maid flagged something in their computer.
Karen: Okay, are we done yet?
Will: No. Look, they're gonna start making random visits to verify that Jack and Rosario are a real married couple. So since their official residence is listed as your place, I think the best thing would be for Jack to move into your penthouse.
Jack: I just adore a penthouse view! Ooh, my very own sexless marriage. Just like Will and Grace.
Will: No, not like Will and Grace. We don't even live together any more. She's got her own apartment.
Jack: Eight dysfunctional feet away.
Karen: Lord, they're like Siamese twins who are joined at their boring personalities.
Karen: Okay, are we done yet?
Will: No. Look, they're gonna start making random visits to verify that Jack and Rosario are a real married couple. So since their official residence is listed as your place, I think the best thing would be for Jack to move into your penthouse.
Jack: I just adore a penthouse view! Ooh, my very own sexless marriage. Just like Will and Grace.
Will: No, not like Will and Grace. We don't even live together any more. She's got her own apartment.
Jack: Eight dysfunctional feet away.
Karen: Lord, they're like Siamese twins who are joined at their boring personalities.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Hey. Hey, you're on the clock, tamale. Get to work!
Rosario: Listen, lady, I'll squash you like a wormy apple.
Karen: [suddenly emotional] Oh, Will, don't let them take my sunshine away!
Rosario: [embraces her] I love my mommy!
Rosario: Listen, lady, I'll squash you like a wormy apple.
Karen: [suddenly emotional] Oh, Will, don't let them take my sunshine away!
Rosario: [embraces her] I love my mommy!
TV Show: Will and Grace
[Jack has accidentally slammed the door onto Grace's face.]
Grace: Ow! You crushed my nose. [exits]
Jack: Sorry! If it's broken, we'll get it fixed. [to Will] For the second time.
Grace: [sticking her head through the window] I heard that, you bitch. And this nose has never been touched.
Jack: I'm sorry, ma'am, you can pick up your fries at the next window. [to Will] Guess what? I've been promoted to captain at my catering company, and tonight I'm supervising an event at the Waldorf-Astoria. I will have eight men under me. How great is that?
Will: Eight men? What'd you do, write the Gay Make A Wish Foundation?
Grace: Ow! You crushed my nose. [exits]
Jack: Sorry! If it's broken, we'll get it fixed. [to Will] For the second time.
Grace: [sticking her head through the window] I heard that, you bitch. And this nose has never been touched.
Jack: I'm sorry, ma'am, you can pick up your fries at the next window. [to Will] Guess what? I've been promoted to captain at my catering company, and tonight I'm supervising an event at the Waldorf-Astoria. I will have eight men under me. How great is that?
Will: Eight men? What'd you do, write the Gay Make A Wish Foundation?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: You couldn't do my job for one night. I challenge you!
Will: Okay, I'll do it.
Jack: Ha! I knew you wouldn't do it because you are scared.
Will: I agreed.
Jack: What just happened?
Will: Okay, I'll do it.
Jack: Ha! I knew you wouldn't do it because you are scared.
Will: I agreed.
Jack: What just happened?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Judith McFarland: [in response to Jack telling her he is gay] Looking back on it... there have been clues. When you were a child, you were overly fond of the nursery rhyme "Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub". And you do have a lot of flamboyantly gay friends. I mean, look at Will!
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Well, you've come on a good night. Jack's mother is going to be joining us, and she doesn't know Jack's gay.
Karen: How could she not know? What is she, headless?
Karen: How could she not know? What is she, headless?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Jack, this isn't going to be as hard as you think. On some level, your mother has to know your gay. I mean, she has met you, right?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Karen: Honey, Stan can't make it. He's having some work done on his Mercedes. Or his... kidneys... I wasn't really paying attention.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: Holy hangover, Batgirl. How fun was last night?
Grace: So fun. Naomi and Kai know all the best clubs.
Will: Yeah. Who'd have thought that after 2 a.m., Tiki Donuts becomes a Latino drag queen bar?
Grace: I forget... Is "chocolate éclair" the name of a donut or one of the performers?
Will: Why are you screaming at me? Yech. [puts his head in the sink under running water]
Grace: [looking down her shirt] Oh, my God. When did I get my nipple pierced?
Will: [looking down Grace's shirt] That's your earring.
Grace: [Pulling ring out] Not right. So what time are we hooking up with them tonight?
Will: Midnight. It's gonna be wild.
Grace: This whole week has been wild.
Will: I know. They're crazy.
Grace: They're fantastic.
Will: I hate them.
Grace: Me, too.
Grace: So fun. Naomi and Kai know all the best clubs.
Will: Yeah. Who'd have thought that after 2 a.m., Tiki Donuts becomes a Latino drag queen bar?
Grace: I forget... Is "chocolate éclair" the name of a donut or one of the performers?
Will: Why are you screaming at me? Yech. [puts his head in the sink under running water]
Grace: [looking down her shirt] Oh, my God. When did I get my nipple pierced?
Will: [looking down Grace's shirt] That's your earring.
Grace: [Pulling ring out] Not right. So what time are we hooking up with them tonight?
Will: Midnight. It's gonna be wild.
Grace: This whole week has been wild.
Will: I know. They're crazy.
Grace: They're fantastic.
Will: I hate them.
Grace: Me, too.
TV Show: Will and Grace
[An extremely young nurse enters to take Grace's blood.]
Grace: Isn't— isn't there someone else who is a little more... experienced? Someone who didn't drive in... on a Big Wheel?
Nurse Pittman: Oh, I don't drive. I keep taking the test over and over again, but I'm all, "This is hard!"
Grace: Isn't— isn't there someone else who is a little more... experienced? Someone who didn't drive in... on a Big Wheel?
Nurse Pittman: Oh, I don't drive. I keep taking the test over and over again, but I'm all, "This is hard!"
TV Show: Will and Grace
[Jack runs by.]
Will: Gay ferrets to the waiting area. Gay ferrets to the waiting area.
Will: Gay ferrets to the waiting area. Gay ferrets to the waiting area.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Ben: So, the salad's done, the risotto is cooking. Let's talk wine. Karen, you have any preference?
Karen: Honey, I'd suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick; so you're asking the wrong gal, okay?
Karen: Honey, I'd suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick; so you're asking the wrong gal, okay?
TV Show: Will and Grace
Will: Did I just scream like a woman?
Grace: Don't flatter yourself. You scream like a girl.
Grace: Don't flatter yourself. You scream like a girl.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Grace: Can you imagine if whoever it was had actually gotten in? He probably would've made me rub lotion all over myself so he could make a prairie skirt out of my skin. Karen, I have never been more terrified in my entire life.
Karen: Oh, honey. Stan bought me a 7-karat ruby on our trip to Paris last year.
Grace: What does that have to do with the break-in?
Karen: Nothing, honey. I thought we were just swapping stories. Jeez, Louise! Didn't realize it was "All about Grace" day.
Karen: Oh, honey. Stan bought me a 7-karat ruby on our trip to Paris last year.
Grace: What does that have to do with the break-in?
Karen: Nothing, honey. I thought we were just swapping stories. Jeez, Louise! Didn't realize it was "All about Grace" day.
TV Show: Will and Grace
Jack: Oh my God, I love TV. Buffy is my life! I'm so into Willow being a lez.
TV Show: Will and Grace