Veronica Mars Quotes
Kendall: Hi, baby. What took you so long? [she kisses Logan]
Logan: Well, if I had known you were throwing yourself at my roommate, [wipes lips] I'd have raced home.
Kendall: I brought a surprise for you. I figured you and Duncan could try it. Maybe if you boys play nice, you could share or... take turns or something.
Logan: Duncan's not into that sort of thing, pumpkin.
Kendall: No, I'm talking about Dick's Maserati.
Trina: Wait a minute. Are you like, sleeping with my little brother? What is he - 13?
Kendall: Thirteen? He wishes. So, is this your much older sister I've heard nothing about?
Logan: Oh, yes, where are my manners? Kendall Casablancas, Trina Echolls. Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
Trina: Hmm. I'm guessing she's the wet one. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got places to be.
Kendall: Where? Is there a club where you, Dedee Pfeiffer, Joey Travolta, and Melissa Rivers all meet for drinks?
Trina: There is. I don't think you'd like it. It's 21 and over. We're hitting an after party at Chuck E. Cheese though, if you're free. Okay, well, I need him in bed by ten p.m. sharp, he's got school tomorrow. [squeezes Logan's cheeks] Night, all. [exits]
Logan: Well, the joke's on her - she came over to borrow my video camera. The girl does love a good exit line.
Logan: Well, if I had known you were throwing yourself at my roommate, [wipes lips] I'd have raced home.
Kendall: I brought a surprise for you. I figured you and Duncan could try it. Maybe if you boys play nice, you could share or... take turns or something.
Logan: Duncan's not into that sort of thing, pumpkin.
Kendall: No, I'm talking about Dick's Maserati.
Trina: Wait a minute. Are you like, sleeping with my little brother? What is he - 13?
Kendall: Thirteen? He wishes. So, is this your much older sister I've heard nothing about?
Logan: Oh, yes, where are my manners? Kendall Casablancas, Trina Echolls. Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet.
Trina: Hmm. I'm guessing she's the wet one. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got places to be.
Kendall: Where? Is there a club where you, Dedee Pfeiffer, Joey Travolta, and Melissa Rivers all meet for drinks?
Trina: There is. I don't think you'd like it. It's 21 and over. We're hitting an after party at Chuck E. Cheese though, if you're free. Okay, well, I need him in bed by ten p.m. sharp, he's got school tomorrow. [squeezes Logan's cheeks] Night, all. [exits]
Logan: Well, the joke's on her - she came over to borrow my video camera. The girl does love a good exit line.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Van Clemens: Your sentence is up when each of these files finds its way alphabetically into that cabinet.
Veronica: And I can't use Magic Right?
Veronica: And I can't use Magic Right?
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Mrs. Murphy: You always ask to go to the bathroom during this period.
Logan: I know. It's that 12-pack I slam at lunch. It goes right through me.
Logan: I know. It's that 12-pack I slam at lunch. It goes right through me.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: I hope that tape didn't burn too much when they ripped it off. I hear that can leave some chafing.
Weevil: You made the wrong play, dawg. I shouldn't let you live for what you pulled.
Logan: What I pulled? Hang on, compadre, let's recap. You blasted a shotgun through my car with me inside.
Weevil: That wasn't me.
Logan: You torched my house. Then your masked bandidos played Russian Roulette with my hand. Okay, my math says that you still owe me.
Weevil: I thought you killed Felix.
Logan: Well, I didn't.
Weevil: Yeah, I pretty much know that now.
Logan: Oh, are you waiting for the music to swell before you start the apology?
Weevil: We have something in common now. We both need to find out who killed Felix.
Logan: So what, we team up? Get matching capes? I ride shotgun in the sidecar?
Weevil: Something like that, but not yet. See, I can't let you leave here looking the way you did when you walked in. Not if I don't want to end up some bald guy with tattoos who rides the school bus.
Logan: Well, I hope you don't just expect me to stand here and take it.
Weevil: Wouldn't be much fun if you did.
Logan: So who's going to throw the first - [bell rings, Weevil punches first and they all-out fight]
Weevil: You made the wrong play, dawg. I shouldn't let you live for what you pulled.
Logan: What I pulled? Hang on, compadre, let's recap. You blasted a shotgun through my car with me inside.
Weevil: That wasn't me.
Logan: You torched my house. Then your masked bandidos played Russian Roulette with my hand. Okay, my math says that you still owe me.
Weevil: I thought you killed Felix.
Logan: Well, I didn't.
Weevil: Yeah, I pretty much know that now.
Logan: Oh, are you waiting for the music to swell before you start the apology?
Weevil: We have something in common now. We both need to find out who killed Felix.
Logan: So what, we team up? Get matching capes? I ride shotgun in the sidecar?
Weevil: Something like that, but not yet. See, I can't let you leave here looking the way you did when you walked in. Not if I don't want to end up some bald guy with tattoos who rides the school bus.
Logan: Well, I hope you don't just expect me to stand here and take it.
Weevil: Wouldn't be much fun if you did.
Logan: So who's going to throw the first - [bell rings, Weevil punches first and they all-out fight]
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Mac: Pay me in cash, I ask no questions. Just tip me off when you're going public.
Beaver: You know, I think that might be illegal.
Mac: Still... you're admiring my moxie, aren't you?
Beaver: Something like that.
Beaver: You know, I think that might be illegal.
Mac: Still... you're admiring my moxie, aren't you?
Beaver: Something like that.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: The truth is, as a baby, you were left in a Neptune High girl's bathroom on prom night twenty-five years ago.
Trina: No way. Ashton Kutcher is hiding somewhere, right? Ashton, come out! You can't get me that easy.
Veronica: Trina, I'm dead serious.
Trina: Okay. If you're joking, you really can act. You're a natural.
Veronica: You were found in a girls' bathroom on prom night.
Trina: What? So you mean my mother was like, one of those trashy sluts that dumped me in a garbage can?
Veronica: I'm... pretty sure Celeste Kane is your mom.
Trina: Well, there's worse news you could've given me. They've got billions!
Veronica: I suppose they do. Um... I was going to use this audition tape to smoke her out, shame her. I was gonna send this video to all the tabloids.
Trina: Oh, you're a rascal, Veronica Mars.
Veronica: Am I? I was thinking I was something else... less flattering.
Trina: You know, if we hurry, that tape can make tonight's Entertainment News. Oh, it's the least big Pat can do for me after leaving all those pervy messages on my voicemail.
Trina: No way. Ashton Kutcher is hiding somewhere, right? Ashton, come out! You can't get me that easy.
Veronica: Trina, I'm dead serious.
Trina: Okay. If you're joking, you really can act. You're a natural.
Veronica: You were found in a girls' bathroom on prom night.
Trina: What? So you mean my mother was like, one of those trashy sluts that dumped me in a garbage can?
Veronica: I'm... pretty sure Celeste Kane is your mom.
Trina: Well, there's worse news you could've given me. They've got billions!
Veronica: I suppose they do. Um... I was going to use this audition tape to smoke her out, shame her. I was gonna send this video to all the tabloids.
Trina: Oh, you're a rascal, Veronica Mars.
Veronica: Am I? I was thinking I was something else... less flattering.
Trina: You know, if we hurry, that tape can make tonight's Entertainment News. Oh, it's the least big Pat can do for me after leaving all those pervy messages on my voicemail.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Duncan: Last spring... before we broke up...
Veronica: Okay, stop, I was shown a diagram once. I know how it works. But you knew, and you didn't tell me?
Duncan: This has nothing to do with us.
Veronica: Oh, no. Nothing? Your secret illegitimate child gestating in the womb of your comatose ex-girlfriend affects neither you nor me.
Veronica: Okay, stop, I was shown a diagram once. I know how it works. But you knew, and you didn't tell me?
Duncan: This has nothing to do with us.
Veronica: Oh, no. Nothing? Your secret illegitimate child gestating in the womb of your comatose ex-girlfriend affects neither you nor me.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Lamb: [admiring himself in the mirror after bench pressing] You know, Keith, you really should've done more to push fitness when you were here.
Keith: Yeah, I was going to get to that, but the crime-fighting kept getting in the way.
Keith: Yeah, I was going to get to that, but the crime-fighting kept getting in the way.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Oh, hello. Which one are you? Blinky? Humpty? Zorro?
Thumper: My name is Thumper. Not that you really care.
Veronica: Oh, I care... deeply. I guess you heard about our new cranberry walnut crumb cake. It's true: it's cran-tastic.
Thumper: My name is Thumper. Not that you really care.
Veronica: Oh, I care... deeply. I guess you heard about our new cranberry walnut crumb cake. It's true: it's cran-tastic.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Keith: [to Veronica] I'm sorry, I was looking for my apartment, but I seem to have stumbled upon some sort of magical winter wonderland instead. Why, perhaps this elf can help me.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: I'm so impressed you fit a pony into my room. Presents, presents, presents!
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Do you see the moving truck out front? Ms. Moana Lisa and Mr. Outside Voice next door finally got the boot. Two old acquaintances that should be forgotten.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: Hi-ho.
Veronica: What did you say?
Logan: Oh, your uniform. Hi-ho. It's off to work you go.
Veronica: Guess that makes me Snow White.
Logan: You must be on your way up to see Mopey.
Veronica: How is he doing, Sleazy?
Veronica: What did you say?
Logan: Oh, your uniform. Hi-ho. It's off to work you go.
Veronica: Guess that makes me Snow White.
Logan: You must be on your way up to see Mopey.
Veronica: How is he doing, Sleazy?
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Walace: Oh, that's just pathetic. Up! Get up! I came here to see Veronica Mars. Who's this... Emo girl?
Veronica: Leave me alone. I'm wallowing.
Wallace: Not anymore. We're going out. We gotta go see a movie or get in a barfight or something.
Veronica: I don't wanna get in a barfight.
Wallace: Tough, 'cause you're goin if I have to drag you. But before we do, Veronica: Shower. You smell bad.
Veronica: You're not helping. You think you're helping. But you're not.
Veronica: Leave me alone. I'm wallowing.
Wallace: Not anymore. We're going out. We gotta go see a movie or get in a barfight or something.
Veronica: I don't wanna get in a barfight.
Wallace: Tough, 'cause you're goin if I have to drag you. But before we do, Veronica: Shower. You smell bad.
Veronica: You're not helping. You think you're helping. But you're not.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Vinnie Van Lowe: Hey, Veronica! What's the haps?
Veronica: Oh, you know. I didn't think there'd be air conditioning, but, other than that, this is pretty much how I pictured Hell.
Veronica: Oh, you know. I didn't think there'd be air conditioning, but, other than that, this is pretty much how I pictured Hell.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: I have no idea where he is, and if I did, you would be the... [counting fingers] last person I'd tell.
Vinnie: Am I hearing you right? Because you'd tell Osama bin Laden before you tell me? Because back in my day, we had a little thing called patriotism.
Vinnie: Am I hearing you right? Because you'd tell Osama bin Laden before you tell me? Because back in my day, we had a little thing called patriotism.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: What's the word?
Dick: The one they call Bootsy told me "no" and went on to suggest I perform sexual intercourse upon my own person.
Logan: Doesn't he understand? If you could do that, you'd never come to school.
Dick: Boy, that's the truth.
Dick: The one they call Bootsy told me "no" and went on to suggest I perform sexual intercourse upon my own person.
Logan: Doesn't he understand? If you could do that, you'd never come to school.
Dick: Boy, that's the truth.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Lamb: So... The F-B-I. I've thought about it, you know. But big fish, small town has its perks. Still, who knows? I still might apply.
Morris: You go to college?
Lamb: For a year. Blew out a knee at Southwest Texas playing ball.
Morris: Speak a foreign language?
Lamb: A little Mexican. Enough to get by. I tell 'em to turn their music down.
Morris: Any expertise in computer science, law, physics, chemistry, forensics, mathematics?
Lamb: Expertise...?
Morris: Small town, big fish: You know, I'd ride with that.
Morris: You go to college?
Lamb: For a year. Blew out a knee at Southwest Texas playing ball.
Morris: Speak a foreign language?
Lamb: A little Mexican. Enough to get by. I tell 'em to turn their music down.
Morris: Any expertise in computer science, law, physics, chemistry, forensics, mathematics?
Lamb: Expertise...?
Morris: Small town, big fish: You know, I'd ride with that.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: So, the manager's boyfriend just dumped her, and she says this helps with the stress.
Wallace: What is it?
Veronica: A German chocolate nut-gasm.
Wallace: I don't think that's going to help.
Wallace: What is it?
Veronica: A German chocolate nut-gasm.
Wallace: I don't think that's going to help.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Weevil: Where did you guys even meet?
Molly: At church. St. Mary's.
Weevil: Of course. The only place the micks and the spics ever get together without someone getting punched.
Molly: At church. St. Mary's.
Weevil: Of course. The only place the micks and the spics ever get together without someone getting punched.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Cliff: It's called self-surrender. At the negotiated time - five days hence - Wallace Fennel will turn himself into the Neptune sheriff's department, who will oversee his transfer to the Chicago police.
Wallace: What if I'm not there?
Cliff: Then they'll issue a warrant, you'll be arrested, probably found guilty, and end up "married" to some enormous murderer named Tiny. My advice? Be punctual.
Veronica: Or prove your innocence.
Cliff: Or that. Suit yourself.
Wallace: What if I'm not there?
Cliff: Then they'll issue a warrant, you'll be arrested, probably found guilty, and end up "married" to some enormous murderer named Tiny. My advice? Be punctual.
Veronica: Or prove your innocence.
Cliff: Or that. Suit yourself.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: And how can I help you, sir?
Weevil: I need a favor.
Veronica: Ah, a favor - one of our specialties.
Weevil: I need you to bug the confessional at St. Mary's church.
Veronica: Um... I'm sorry. That's not on our menu. Maybe you should try "You're crazy" down the street?
Logan: [from the next table over] It's not just for him.
Veronica: Isn't this a very odd coincidence? Or, wait - are you guys, like, roomies now and he ate your peanut butter and now you're not speaking?
Logan: Funny you should bring up roomies, as I just lost one. I don't suppose you could help me find where Duncan disappeared?
Veronica: Ooh, sorry, one favor per customer.
Weevil: Uh, yeah, can we stay focused here? 'Cause if we're seen together by the wrong people, that would be bad.
Veronica: So, this is sneaking? I've got a pantomine-horse disguise you could use. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass?
Logan: Yeah, I'm glad my misfortunes amuse you.
Weevil: I need a favor.
Veronica: Ah, a favor - one of our specialties.
Weevil: I need you to bug the confessional at St. Mary's church.
Veronica: Um... I'm sorry. That's not on our menu. Maybe you should try "You're crazy" down the street?
Logan: [from the next table over] It's not just for him.
Veronica: Isn't this a very odd coincidence? Or, wait - are you guys, like, roomies now and he ate your peanut butter and now you're not speaking?
Logan: Funny you should bring up roomies, as I just lost one. I don't suppose you could help me find where Duncan disappeared?
Veronica: Ooh, sorry, one favor per customer.
Weevil: Uh, yeah, can we stay focused here? 'Cause if we're seen together by the wrong people, that would be bad.
Veronica: So, this is sneaking? I've got a pantomine-horse disguise you could use. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass?
Logan: Yeah, I'm glad my misfortunes amuse you.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: Look, Veronica, can you just once save my ass without comment?
Veronica: No. Because saving your ass with comment, it just... it works better for me.
Veronica: No. Because saving your ass with comment, it just... it works better for me.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Lamb: What do you mean by, "it smelled"?
Dick: Dude, it smelled - like the ass of something that died.
Lamb: And you can't say what it was?
Dick: I'm not, like, a professional smellologist.
Dick: Dude, it smelled - like the ass of something that died.
Lamb: And you can't say what it was?
Dick: I'm not, like, a professional smellologist.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Slushies! Get your ice-cold, frozen... sugar water...
Logan: You had me at "ice cold."
Veronica: What's your poison?
Logan: Oh, emotionally unavailable women. [Veronica glares] Let's see, uh... I want something that suits my mood.
Veronica: Ooh, I'm sorry, we're all out of liquid evil.
Logan: I'll take two of whatever will turn my tongue blue.
Veronica: Hot date?
Logan: Rain check? A night with the fellas. You know how it is.
Logan: You had me at "ice cold."
Veronica: What's your poison?
Logan: Oh, emotionally unavailable women. [Veronica glares] Let's see, uh... I want something that suits my mood.
Veronica: Ooh, I'm sorry, we're all out of liquid evil.
Logan: I'll take two of whatever will turn my tongue blue.
Veronica: Hot date?
Logan: Rain check? A night with the fellas. You know how it is.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Weevil: Is it your undying love for me, or just good old-fashioned lust?
Veronica: Que?
Weevil: That kept you from turning me in?
Veronica: [pauses] Love...of rollercoasters. And hatred of anything that requires me to tie a sweater over my shoulders and be at sea with my classmates... Nothing to do with you. [they both give a small smile to each other]
Veronica: Que?
Weevil: That kept you from turning me in?
Veronica: [pauses] Love...of rollercoasters. And hatred of anything that requires me to tie a sweater over my shoulders and be at sea with my classmates... Nothing to do with you. [they both give a small smile to each other]
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: Oh the rich, how they mock you. [hands Veronica a $50 bill]
Veronica: There's a $50 bill?
Logan: Had them made special.
Veronica: There's a $50 bill?
Logan: Had them made special.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Jackie and I aren't exactly the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. She's not what you'd call huggable.
Keith: Whereas you warm right up to people? Hmm.
Keith: Whereas you warm right up to people? Hmm.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Dick: Dude, why are lesbians, like, so pissed off all the time? Let your freak flag fly, ladies!
Veronica: How progressive of you, Dick.
Dick: Damn, what is it with you? Do you follow me around for fun, or what?
Veronica: Would it help if I started making out with my girlfriend in the hall?
Dick: Yeah! Obviously. But look, I'll fix your car, whatever. You gotta learn to leave me alone.
Veronica: And here I thought we were getting to be pals.
Dick: Please. You date Logan, he's nailed for murder. You date Duncan, he's wanted for kidnapping. You get put on Robbie and Hunter's jury, they get sent to Chino. You're like rich-dude Kryptonite, Veronica. This rich dude wants no part of it.
Veronica: How progressive of you, Dick.
Dick: Damn, what is it with you? Do you follow me around for fun, or what?
Veronica: Would it help if I started making out with my girlfriend in the hall?
Dick: Yeah! Obviously. But look, I'll fix your car, whatever. You gotta learn to leave me alone.
Veronica: And here I thought we were getting to be pals.
Dick: Please. You date Logan, he's nailed for murder. You date Duncan, he's wanted for kidnapping. You get put on Robbie and Hunter's jury, they get sent to Chino. You're like rich-dude Kryptonite, Veronica. This rich dude wants no part of it.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: So are you ready to be the bait, Corny?
Corny: Hell yeah. No one's better. I'm what you call the "Master Bait."
Corny: Hell yeah. No one's better. I'm what you call the "Master Bait."
TV Show: Veronica Mars