Veronica Mars Quotes
Mac: If college is a boy buffet, she's got two full plates and a purse full of boys wrapped in napkins.
...
Mac: Look at her...she's like boynip.
...
Mac: Look at her...she's like boynip.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [to Logan after sex] Woof! You should seriously consider going pro in that.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Rat boy: We saw you get ripped off.
Veronica: You're twelve. What were you doing up at Hearst?
Ferret boy: Checking out the college girls laying out. Some of them go topless.
Wallace: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up right there, son. Tell us exactly where this sunbathing goes on.
Ferret boy: South quad, where that statue is.
Veronica: What are you saying you saw?
Piz: Is it the Randolph Hearst statue, or the amorphous blobby thing?
Veronica: You're twelve. What were you doing up at Hearst?
Ferret boy: Checking out the college girls laying out. Some of them go topless.
Wallace: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up right there, son. Tell us exactly where this sunbathing goes on.
Ferret boy: South quad, where that statue is.
Veronica: What are you saying you saw?
Piz: Is it the Randolph Hearst statue, or the amorphous blobby thing?
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Mac: [sighs] I have "There's Got to Be a Morning After" stuck in my head. If I start singing, kill me.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [reading invitation] "Tasteful" floral dresses? All my florals are trampy. Seriously, I don't have a thing with a flower that's not in the tube top or hot pant family.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [voiceover] I guess "dress to impress" meant "dress like your favorite Pussycat Doll."
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [voiceover] The '70s had the Hustle. The '80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux-lesbian dance.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [voiceover] The best way to keep a guy at least ten feet away? Dry heave. Vomit is the new mace.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [about two girls] New friends?
Logan: Yeah, from weightlifting class.
Veronica: Right! The only class you never miss. So, what - you guys, like, spot each other doing squat thrusts and stuff?
Logan: And have group sex in the showers. [Veronica scoffs] What is this, jealous?
Veronica: Oh, jealous would involve piano wire.
Logan: Oh. So what was that?
Veronica: That was mild annoyance at the fact that two gym buddies invite you to a party and you're there already, but whenever I want to do something interesting, you're busy.
Logan: You mean "interesting" like some fossil wheezing through a novel?
Veronica: First, Martin Amis isn't a fossil, and second, yes, it's college. We're supposed to expand our horizons past video games and binge drinking.
Logan: My horizons go slightly beyond that.
Veronica: Great. So, how about tonight we check out the art-major group show?
Logan: I'm busy? [she sighs] No, really, I have a class till ten, but if you come by afterwards, we could write on ourselves. Get real, uh... political.
Veronica: That's what a girl wants to hear: "Darling, do all the weird crap you like, just don't be late for the booty call."
Logan: Yeah, from weightlifting class.
Veronica: Right! The only class you never miss. So, what - you guys, like, spot each other doing squat thrusts and stuff?
Logan: And have group sex in the showers. [Veronica scoffs] What is this, jealous?
Veronica: Oh, jealous would involve piano wire.
Logan: Oh. So what was that?
Veronica: That was mild annoyance at the fact that two gym buddies invite you to a party and you're there already, but whenever I want to do something interesting, you're busy.
Logan: You mean "interesting" like some fossil wheezing through a novel?
Veronica: First, Martin Amis isn't a fossil, and second, yes, it's college. We're supposed to expand our horizons past video games and binge drinking.
Logan: My horizons go slightly beyond that.
Veronica: Great. So, how about tonight we check out the art-major group show?
Logan: I'm busy? [she sighs] No, really, I have a class till ten, but if you come by afterwards, we could write on ourselves. Get real, uh... political.
Veronica: That's what a girl wants to hear: "Darling, do all the weird crap you like, just don't be late for the booty call."
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Weevil: [to boss] Guess I'll wash some spoiled bitch's graduation gift from daddy, huh?
Veronica: I'm not spoiled, and uh, technically, it wasn't for graduation.
Weevil: What about the bitch part?
Veronica: That depends on who you ask. How are you, Weevil? I haven't seen you...
Weevil: Since that awkward arrested-for-murder incident? Yeah! I remember.
Veronica: You plea bargained down to assault?
Weevil: And now I'm working at the car wash. Which, as it turns out, is not as fun as the song might sound.
Veronica: I'm not spoiled, and uh, technically, it wasn't for graduation.
Weevil: What about the bitch part?
Veronica: That depends on who you ask. How are you, Weevil? I haven't seen you...
Weevil: Since that awkward arrested-for-murder incident? Yeah! I remember.
Veronica: You plea bargained down to assault?
Weevil: And now I'm working at the car wash. Which, as it turns out, is not as fun as the song might sound.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Dick: Veronica Mars - modern college girl on the go.
Veronica: Dick Casablancas - Neolithic college boy on the sauce.
Veronica: Dick Casablancas - Neolithic college boy on the sauce.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: I bet you'd be pretty psyched if I found someone who could help.
Keith: My level of psyched would depend on the someone.
Veronica: Eli Navarro. Remember?
Keith: You mean Weevil? Oh, Veronica, please.
Veronica: Dad, I'm serious.
Keith: Oh, I don't know, all those times I arrested him, he never struck me as great secretary material. Didn't he get busted for murder?
Veronica: Assault.
Keith: See, so he's not even a very good murderer.
Keith: My level of psyched would depend on the someone.
Veronica: Eli Navarro. Remember?
Keith: You mean Weevil? Oh, Veronica, please.
Veronica: Dad, I'm serious.
Keith: Oh, I don't know, all those times I arrested him, he never struck me as great secretary material. Didn't he get busted for murder?
Veronica: Assault.
Keith: See, so he's not even a very good murderer.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: While I appreciate the interest, Big Brother, I hope -
Veronica: Wow, a 1984 reference. Did you read that in weightlifting?
Logan: You know, your dad was half right. You have a thing for bad boys, but you don't want to reform them. You just get off on judging them.
Veronica: Which reminds me: can I borrow your copy of 101 Brooding Comments?
Logan: I only have the Cliff Notes. Look, I've got to run, so to save you the trouble, I'm surfing in Mexico with Dick and Mercer this weekend. I'll fax you the coordinates so you don't incur any more cell-tracking charges, and I'll keep a journal of my bad thoughts in case you want to stick my face in a cage of rats when we get back. Sorry, 1984 is the only book I read.
Veronica: Wow, a 1984 reference. Did you read that in weightlifting?
Logan: You know, your dad was half right. You have a thing for bad boys, but you don't want to reform them. You just get off on judging them.
Veronica: Which reminds me: can I borrow your copy of 101 Brooding Comments?
Logan: I only have the Cliff Notes. Look, I've got to run, so to save you the trouble, I'm surfing in Mexico with Dick and Mercer this weekend. I'll fax you the coordinates so you don't incur any more cell-tracking charges, and I'll keep a journal of my bad thoughts in case you want to stick my face in a cage of rats when we get back. Sorry, 1984 is the only book I read.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: Is this the help desk? 'Cause I need a little help.
Veronica: Let me guess: you have this pathologically suspicious girlfriend and you hope maybe there's a guidebook?
Logan: No, it's more like, uh... what's beyond pathological?
Veronica: Let me guess: you have this pathologically suspicious girlfriend and you hope maybe there's a guidebook?
Logan: No, it's more like, uh... what's beyond pathological?
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: This is a bad idea.
Keith: No, it's not.
Veronica: You only think it's not because you came up with it.
Keith: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me + idea = good.
Keith: No, it's not.
Veronica: You only think it's not because you came up with it.
Keith: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me + idea = good.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Logan: You were expecting Sidney Poitier?
Veronica: No jokes. No innuendos, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers.
Logan: Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you Bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
Veronica: Go home.
Logan: Veronica. Don't worry. I wont say anything bad.
Veronica: No jokes. No innuendos, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers.
Logan: Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you Bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
Veronica: Go home.
Logan: Veronica. Don't worry. I wont say anything bad.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Dick, why are you here?
Dick: You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties, and suddenly, school's all in a bunch. There's like this hearing scheduled to try to get us kicked off campus, and that's where you come in.
Veronica: I get to do the kickin'?
Dick: You get to be the spy who loves me. The guys were really impressed with how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.
Veronica: Were they? That means so little.
Dick: They knew we had, like, this connection. So, they sent me here to hire you. We need you to do your Veronica thing and prove it's a pack of lies.
Veronica: Is it? A pack of lies?
Dick: We're a frat. Why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk?
Dick: You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties, and suddenly, school's all in a bunch. There's like this hearing scheduled to try to get us kicked off campus, and that's where you come in.
Veronica: I get to do the kickin'?
Dick: You get to be the spy who loves me. The guys were really impressed with how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.
Veronica: Were they? That means so little.
Dick: They knew we had, like, this connection. So, they sent me here to hire you. We need you to do your Veronica thing and prove it's a pack of lies.
Veronica: Is it? A pack of lies?
Dick: We're a frat. Why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk?
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [voiceover] When entering a frat house full of accused rapists, the pant suit is a solid wardrobe choice. It's fashion's way of saying, "Move along. Nothing to see here."
TV Show: Veronica Mars
[Veronica encounters the Pi Sig frat approaching in a group.]
Veronica: Hello, Chip… Dick… faceless Star Trek crew members…
Veronica: Hello, Chip… Dick… faceless Star Trek crew members…
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Weevil: Any big Halloween plans?
Veronica: Oh, you know, the usual: slapping on my sexy nurse duds and rolling tweeners for their chocolate.
Veronica: Oh, you know, the usual: slapping on my sexy nurse duds and rolling tweeners for their chocolate.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Lamb: Well, well, what do we have here? An illegal gambling establishment. Underaged drinking. [sees Logan and Veronica hugging] Public displays of affection. [shivers] It's like Sodom and Gomorrah in here.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Where's Lilly's necklace?
Weevil: Someone left a bracelet in my bed last week. Or wait, was it a hoop earring...
Veronica: I'm not playing with you.
Weevil: Don't you get it? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Veronica: Oh, you don't, huh? Let me spell it out: I tell you about a working on-campus casino. Six hours later, it's held up by a guy, your size, wearing a mask, who happens to be covered in a thin film of drywall dust and the stench of Drakkar cologne.
Weevil: My cologne stinks? So, all this play I've been getting is from pure sex appeal?
Veronica: You just told my classmates that your old life of crime was calling. You just asked me about Lilly's necklace.
Weevil: I can't believe you'd think I'd do that - to you - after all we've been through.
Veronica: After all we've been through, can you really blame me?
Weevil: Someone left a bracelet in my bed last week. Or wait, was it a hoop earring...
Veronica: I'm not playing with you.
Weevil: Don't you get it? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Veronica: Oh, you don't, huh? Let me spell it out: I tell you about a working on-campus casino. Six hours later, it's held up by a guy, your size, wearing a mask, who happens to be covered in a thin film of drywall dust and the stench of Drakkar cologne.
Weevil: My cologne stinks? So, all this play I've been getting is from pure sex appeal?
Veronica: You just told my classmates that your old life of crime was calling. You just asked me about Lilly's necklace.
Weevil: I can't believe you'd think I'd do that - to you - after all we've been through.
Veronica: After all we've been through, can you really blame me?
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Did you just make a Jane Austen reference? It's official, the end of days are upon us.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: [voiceover] The man who would be my mentor. Mr. Popular. Just another on the list of men who disappoint.
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Maybe I don't want to know what you were up to.
Logan: When have you ever not wanted to know anything?
Logan: When have you ever not wanted to know anything?
TV Show: Veronica Mars
Veronica: Care to share what you two free-spirited lads were up to? I'll give you a hint: it was squalid.
Mercer: Logan has good reason to keep that to himself. But you shouldn't worry; he's a solid guy. I mean, I'd want him to be my boyfriend, if I swung that way.
Veronica: Give it time, you just got here.
Mercer: Logan has good reason to keep that to himself. But you shouldn't worry; he's a solid guy. I mean, I'd want him to be my boyfriend, if I swung that way.
Veronica: Give it time, you just got here.
TV Show: Veronica Mars